You can't have your cake and eat it

You can't have your cake and eat it (too) is a popular English idiomatic proverb or figure of speech.^[1] The proverb literally means "you cannot simultaneously retain your cake and eat it". Once the cake is eaten, it is gone. It can be used to say that one cannot or should not have or want more than one deserves or is reasonable, or that one cannot or should not try to have two incompatible things. The proverb's meaning is similar to the phrases "you can't have it both ways" and "you can't have the best of both worlds."

Many people misunderstand the meanings of "have" and "eat" as used here but still understand the proverb in its entirety and intent and use it in this form. Some people feel this form of the proverb is incorrect and illogical and instead prefer "you can't eat your cake and [then still] have it", which is in fact closer to the original form of the proverb^[2] (see further explanations below) but uncommon today. Another variant uses "keep" instead of "have".^[3]

Having to choose whether to have or eat your cake illustrates the concept of trade-offs or opportunity cost.^[4][5][6]

History

The order of the clauses in the saying has been the subject of some debate, and was even used in forensic linguistics (contributing to the identification and arrest of the so-called Unabomber^[7]).

An early recording of the phrase is in a letter on 14 March 1538 from Thomas, Duke of Norfolk, to Thomas Cromwell, as "a man can not have his cake and eat his cake".^[8]

The phrase occurs with the clauses reversed in John Heywood's "A dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue" from 1546, as "wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?".^[9] In John Davies' "Scourge of Folly" of 1611, the same order is used, as "A man cannot eat his cake and haue it stil."^[10] In Jonathan Swift's 1738 farce "Polite Conversation", the character Lady Answerall says "she cannot eat her cake and have her cake."^[11]

The order was reversed again in a posthumous adaptation of "Polite Conversation" in 1749, "Tittle Tattle; or, Taste A-la-Mode", as "And she cannot have her Cake and eat her Cake."^[12][13][14] From 1812 (R. C. Knopf's "Document Transcriptions of War of 1812" (1959) VI. 204) is a modern-sounding recording of "We cannot have our cake and eat it too."^[15]

According to the Google Ngram Viewer, the eat-first order was more common until about 1935, since which time the have-first order has become much more popular.^[16]

Literal meaning

Paul Brians, Professor of English at Washington State University, points out that perhaps a more logical or easier to understand version of this saying is, "You can’t eat your cake and have it too." Professor Brians writes that a common source of confusion about this idiom stems from the verb to have which in this case indicates that once eaten, keeping possession of the cake is no longer possible, seeing that it is in your stomach (and no longer exists as a cake).^[17]

Alternatively, the two verbs can be understood to represent a sequence of actions, so one can indeed "have" one's cake and then "eat" it. Consequently, the literal meaning of the reversed idiom doesn't match the metaphorical meaning. The phrase can also have specialized meaning in academic contexts; Classicist Katharina Volk of Columbia University has used the phrase to describe the development of poetic imagery in Latin didactic poetry, naming the principle behind the imagery's adoption and application the "have-one's-cake-and-eat-it-too principle".^[18]

In English, "have" can mean "eat", as in "Let's have breakfast" or "I'm having a sandwich". So the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too" may mean that you can't eat the cake and then eat it again; or less metaphorically, that what you want is unreasonable. This interpretation makes sense in both the "have-eat" and "eat-have" iterations of the idiom, and explains why the earliest known iteration is "have-eat".

Other languages

Various expressions are used to convey similar idioms in other languages:

• Albanian: (Te hysh ne uje e te mos lagesh) – To take a swim and not get wet.
• Bulgarian: Не може и вълкът да е сит, и агнето цяло. – You can't have both the wolf fed, and the lamb intact.
• Bosnian: Ne možeš imati i jare i pare. – You can't have both the lamb and the money.
• Simplified Chinese: 鱼与熊掌，不可兼得。; traditional Chinese: 魚與熊掌，不可兼得。 – You can't have both the fish and the bear's paw. (Bear's paw is considered a delicacy in ancient China.)
• Croatian: Ne možeš imati i ovce i novce – You can't have both the sheep (pl.) and the money. Also, Vuk sit, ovce na broju – The wolf is full, the sheep are all accounted for.
• Czech: Nejde sedět zadkem na dvou židlích – You can't sit on two chairs at the same time.
• Danish: Man kan ikke både blæse og have mel i munden – You cannot both blow and have flour in your mouth. Or Danish: Man kan ikke få både i pose og (i) sæk - You can't get both in bag and (in) sack.
• Dutch: Je moet kiezen of delen – You have to choose or share. This is based on Dutch civil law where in a division of property one person divides the property in two parts and the other person chooses the part he likes most.
• French: Vouloir le beurre et l'argent du beurre – to want the butter and the money from (selling) the butter. The idiom can be emphasized by adding et le sourire de la crémière ("and a smile from the (female) shopkeeper").
• German: Wasch mir den Pelz, aber mach mich nicht nass – wash my fur but don't get me wet. ^{[19] [20]} Also, Man kann nicht auf zwei Hochzeiten tanzen – one cannot dance at two weddings (at the same time).
  • Swiss German: Du chasch nit dr Füfer und s Weggli ha – you can't have the five cent coin and a bread roll.
• Greek: Και την πίτα ολόκληρη και τον σκύλο χορτάτο – you want the entire pie and the dog full.
• Gujarati: બે હાથમાં લાડુ હોવા - having Laddu in both your hands.
• Hebrew: אי אפשר לאכול את העוגה ולהשאיר אותה שלמה‎‎ – you can't eat the cake and keep it whole. Also, Hebrew: אי אפשר להחזיק את המקל משתי הקצוות‎‎ - It is impossible to hold the stick from both ends.
• Hungarian: Olyan nincs, hogy a kecske is jóllakjon, és a káposzta is megmaradjon – It is impossible that the goat has enough to eat and the cabbage remains as well. Also, Egy fenékkel nem lehet két lovat megülni – It is impossible to ride two horses with one butt. (The meaning is similar to the Romanian translation.) Nem lehet egyszerre házaséletet is élni és szűznek is maradni. - It is not possible to go to the wedding bed and still remain a virgin.
• Icelandic: Það er ekki hægt að bæði halda og sleppa - You can't have and have not at the same time. Also: Bágt er að blása og hafa mjöl í munni. – You cannot both blow and have flour in your mouth.
• Italian: Volere la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca – to want the barrel full and the wife drunk.
• Kannada: ಅಕ್ಕಿ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಸೆ, ನೆಂಟರ ಮೇಲೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿ – Desire over rice, love over relatives.
• Korean: 두 마리 토끼를 잡을 수 없다 – You can't catch two rabbits (at the same time).
• Malayalam: കക്ഷത്തിലുള്ളത് പോകാനും പാടില്ല ഉത്തരത്തിലുള്ളത് വേണം താനും! – You want both the one on the roof, and the one in your armpit.
• Nepali: दुवै हातमा लड्डु – having laddu (a sweet candy) in both your hands.
• Norwegian: Man kan ikke få både i pose og sekk – You can't get both in bag and sack.
• Papiamento: Skohe of lag'i skohe – choose or let choose.
• Pashto: Dawara ghaaray ma wahaa‎ – You can not be on both sides.
• Persian: هم خدا را خواستن و هم خرما را‎‎ – wanting both God and the sugar-dates.
• Polish: Zjeść ciastko i mieć ciastko – To eat the cookie and have the cookie.
• Portuguese: Querer ter sol na eira e chuva no nabal – Wanting the sun to shine on the threshing floor, while it rains on the turnip field.
• Romanian: Nu poți împăca și capra și varza – You can't reconcile the goat and the cabbage. Also, Și cu tigaia unsă și cu slănina în pod - To have the pan greased and the lard in the attic (or the more vulgar version: Şi cu dânsa-ntr-însa, şi cu sufletu-n rai - To have 'it' in 'it' and the soul in heaven.)
• Russian: И рыбку съесть, и в воду не лезть – wanting to eat a fish without first catching it from the waters.^[21]
• Serbian: Не можеш да имаш и јаре и паре – You can't have both goatling and money, and Не можеш сести с једним дупетом на две столице – You can't sit on two chairs with one butt.
• Spanish: Querer estar en misa y en procesión – wishing to be both at mass and in the procession, and estar en misa y repicando (or estar en misa y tocar la campana – to be both at mass and in the belfry, bell-ringing.
  • Argentina: la chancha y los veinte – the pig and the twenties. (Comes from the old piggybanks for children that used to contain coins of 20 cents. The only way to get the coins was to break the piggybank open – hence the phrase. This can be emphasized by adding y la máquina de hacer chorizos – and the machine to make sausage.
• Swedish: Att äta kakan och ha den kvar - To eat the cookie and still have it.
• Tamil: மீசைக்கும் ஆசை கூழுக்கும் ஆசை – desire to have both the moustache and to drink the soup.
• Turkish: Ne yardan geçer, ne serden. – Neither giving up one's lover nor one's self.
• Vietnamese: Được cái này mất cái kia. – You gain one thing but lose the other.
• Welsh: Allwch chi mo’i chael hi bob ffordd. – You can’t have it all ways. Also, Allwch chi ddim cadw torth a’i bwyta hi - You can’t keep a loaf and eat it.^[22]

References

External links

• The dictionary definition of have one's cake and eat it too at Wiktionary
• Post at "The Phrase Finder", quoting Wise Words and Wives' Tales: The Origins, Meanings and Time-Honored Wisdom of Proverbs and Folk Sayings Olde and New and The Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings.