The Toucher and Rich Show

Toucher and Rich is a Marconi Award winning morning radio show from 6 to 10 AM on The Sports Hub 98.5 WBZ-FM, in Boston, Massachusetts.^[1] The show first aired on June 5, 2006. On August 13, 2009, following the demise of WBCN, the show moved to sports talk station WBZ-FM 98.5 The Sports Hub. On August 17, 2015, the show began simulcasting on Comcast SportsNet. Toucher & Rich celebrated their 10th anniversary on August 16, 2016, selling out the Wilbur Theatre for a special 10th Anniversary show, with numerous guests as well as the finals of 98 Mile year 4.^[2]

On September 24, 2016, Toucher & Rich received the Marconi Award, the highest award in radio for Major Market Personality of the Year.

Show Members

• Fred "Toucher" Toettcher - Co-host
• Rich Shertenlieb - Co-host, Production
• Jon Wallach - Sports Headlines
• Dan O'Brien - Executive Producer
• Mike Lockhart - Production Director/Producer. Co-host of the 98.5 The Sports Hub Fantasy Football Show on Sunday mornings during the NFL Season
• "Intern Nick" Gemelli - Producer, Phone Screener & Street Audio - Nick was an Intern for the show during the WBCN era. He was part of a number of segments, including the "Agonizing Race" and "Soapy and Dopey". In July 2008, he allegedly stole a Promotional T-Shirt and abruptly left the show. He remained friends with Fred and Rich and regrets the way he left. On June 1st, 2016, Nick came back to the show after Adolfo's departure. He now is responsible for Drunken Recaps, Ask A Pink Hat, Carnie Confessions and other Street Audio segments for the show.
• Jonathan "Bird" Marchant - Call Screener. Bird jumped on the scene during the first round of Toucher and Rich's 98-Mile rap battles where he performed to the tune of Without Me by Eminem vs. "Intern Nick" Gemelli. He referred to Nick as underclassman and asked if he "could speak to a seinyah" with his strong, heavy Boston accent. Fred is intrigued by the actions of Bird.

Former Show Members

• Adolfo Gonzalez, Jr. - incompetent phone screener and street reporter that conducts interviews for the Drunken Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, and Patriots recaps. Is often remarked on for his depressingly neglectful childhood (bordering on criminally abusive child neglect) and his exceptionally poor grasp of the English language and frequent incorrect application of English grammar. He is also noted for having a somewhat accurate knowledge of random facts associated with American History in particular facts and dates related to World War II. Widely acknowledged as the most disliked member of the morning program after a scientific poll was commissioned by 98.5 The Sports Hub. Adolfo's last day was May 31, 2016, in order to return to college full-time.
• Christopher "Crash" Clark - 3rd chair during the WBCN era. He covered traffic, news, sports and more. alcoholic/hypochondriac, suave ladies' man, self-admitted sexual deviant, and all around party animal! At one time held the official title of "Night Time Naughty Guy". Crash left the show and returned to Atlanta in 2010. He now works at WXIA-TV as a traffic reporter.
• B-Real - Show Producer during the WBCN era

104.1 WBCN

Contributors

• the Chili Guy: A frequent bit on the show involved interviewing a homeless man known as "The Chili Guy". His rants and catch-phrases are a favorite on the show, including "Couple beers, no beers...chili", "Bring Him Up On Racketeering Charges!", "Who's Buyin'? Who's Sellin'? Who's Buyin'? Who's Sellin'?" and "How many eights you got?". His favorite food is from "Pizza House", and his favorite beverage is "Red Drink". He claims to be related to Ted DiBiase and Hulk Hogan. The Chili Guy is most often interviewed by Adolfo Gonzalez
• Dungeon Master Jim: a Boston lawyer whose main hobby is gaming. DMJ is the T&R definitive source for all things nerdy on the show, and he has begun to have his own segments on the movie review bits. He also hosts "Warp Speed To the Weekend", which is a weekly segment on T&R where Jim discusses the latest events in sci-fi and fantasy for the weekend. The "Warp Speed To the Weekend" segment usually airs on Fridays at 8:30 am.
• The Gunner: An often inebriated caller who begins every call by saying "Hey guys... hey." Pieces with The Gunner include his karaoke of various popular songs. Frequently challenges Adolfo to a "panty drinking contest", which involves chugging beers through a woman's used panties. To this day, many loyal listeners begin their calls with "hey guys, hey" in honor of The Gunner.
• Mike "Behind The Mic" Callahan: A broadcaster from Dean College that sent in a demo tape in the hope that he could take Rich's job. Mike was tasked with making theme songs for all of the towns involved in the "Five Towns in Five Days" promotion that Toucher and Rich presented. MBTM continues to submit hilarious and off-key song parodies.
• Rich Cronin: This former member of boy band L.F.O. became a show favorite with his candid and self-effacing tales of a Boston guy in Hollywood, getting hit on by manager Lou Perlman, and scoring and being dumped by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
• The T.A.R.D.S: The Toucher and Rich Show's fan base, standing for "Toucher And Rich Derelicts/Diehards/Disciples/Degenerates/Drunks".
• Adam-12: Current Host on RadioBDC. Formerly on WBCN and WFNX. Adam helped on several bits including "The Church of Scientology " commercial.

Popular Segments

• Ask Crash: Fans of the show can email Crash questions, which he answers on the air every Thursday. Responses or advice are usually conveyed with Crash humorously reminiscing about one of his many debaucherous life experiences. These accounts often involve inappropriate sexual activities, careless drugs/alcohol abuse, life-endangering situations, potentially criminal activities, unprofessional behavior at work, and a general disregard for the accepted conventions of a modern society. One answer is usually in the form of a sarcastic song parody.
• Best of Boston: An annual contest to determine who has the best face, butt, boobs and feet in Boston. Winners get tickets to the "chili pot" St. Patrick's Day concert where they can win a trip.
• Drinking Games/Competitions: (The Effing Champ and others?)

98.5 The Sports Hub

Popular Segments

• The Hot Take Police: Fred and Rich find and call out people in the media who have incredibly hot and outrageous takes on popular sports events/controversies (DeflateGate, etc.)
• Drunken Celtics/Bruins/Red Sox recap: a member of the show goes out and interviews drunks outside of stadiums and bars after Celtics, Bruins and Red Sox games. The first meeting with the Chili Guy came during a drunken Red Sox recap.
• Dating on Demand: The show analyzes cable company dating videos submitted by less than desirable folks while offering humorous commentary.
• Ask a Pink Hat: The show finds a less-than-knowledgeable and/or drunk female fan wearing a pink Red Sox cap and asks her basic questions about the Red Sox or other local sports team.
• Naughty Massarotti: Tony Massarotti reads Tweets and callers must decide whether they are real or he is making them up. Also used for describing "R-rated sex scenes" from select movies.
• What's In Your Stack: Adolfo goes to a local Comic Book Store or Convention on a Wednesday to talk to customers about what comics they are buying and to ask several basic questions. The show attempts to guess their answers.
• The T&R Draft: The show draft teams of people, TV shows, movies, etc. that fit into certain categories, such as "Hottest TV Moms," "Celebrities that need their own reality TV show," "Best Movie fight scene," and more. Draft order is determined by the flip of a "3-headed coin," usually resulting in Jon going last. The winner is determined by a poll of audience votes.
• The Jon Gruden "This Guy" Challenge: Played on Tuesdays during the NFL season, Rich compiles the funniest and most ridiculous clips from ESPN NFL analyst Jon Gruden during his commentary of the previous night's Monday Night Football game, and a caller must decide whether or not Gruden will refer to players and/or coaches as "This Guy" during each clip.
• 98 Mile: Various on-air and off-air personalities at 98.5 The Sports Hub compete one on one in a ranked bracketed "rap battle" style tournament to determine who can rap and roast their assigned opponents in the most humorous and cleverest manner. The eventual winner of the contest was Damon Amendolara in year 1 and Jon Wallach in year 2. 98 Mile then went on a 3-year hiatus, returning in 2015 when Rich Keefe won the competition. Dan Roche won in year 4. The final round of year 4's competition was performed live at T&R's 10th Anniversary show, with Roche taking on Scott Zolak. Of note there were numerous references to Felger and Massarotti's producer James Stewart having an emotionless personality and fitting the stereotypical profile of a serial murderer. The name of the contest is a reference to the film 8-Mile.
• Know Your Armpits of America: Rich gives a short description of a real news story, while Fred and Jon Wallach guess the town where the story occurred.
• Best of/Worst of Brackets: In this bit, the cast creates March Madness-style brackets in order to pit pop culture figures against one another, usually in a field of 16. The most notorious of these bits was the "Worst Comedians" bracket (won by Dane Cook), which garnered international attention from various media outlets and comedy blogs.^[3] Other examples include "Worst Sportscaster" (won by Glenn "The Big O" Ordway), "Most Fascinating Person in Boston" (won by The Harvard Square Puppeteer), "Douchiest Douchebag" (won by Spencer Pratt)^[4] featuring pick up artist extraordinaire Mystery, Brandon from Incubus, Guy Fieri, and others. "Best Internet Video" (won by The Alabama Leprechaun).
• Faster Guy: An heir-apparent to the Chilli Guy, the Faster Guy is a well-meaning, mid-western-accented, pop-music loving hang-about that frequently runs into Adolfo outside the TD Garden and Fenway Park as the latter collects drunken recaps. The Faster Guy is known to favor non-sequiturs ("Ground beef is really a winner nowadays") and has various theories about the qualities that make up a good sports team ("left-handedness", for example, is a highly desirable athletic quality). The best attribute anything can have, of course, is the simple ability to go "faster", which in the Faster Guy's eyes cures many of life's ills. The crowning moment of a Faster Guy segment is usually when he finally references the word "faster", underscored by a dramatic rendition of "O Fortuna.
• Paul Finebaum Calls: Fred, Rich & Jon listen to the best and strangest calls into The Paul Finebaum Show, featuring regular callers like Mildred and Charles Allen Head, known best for introducing himself by saying, "Hey, Happy Tuesday/Wednesday."
• The Townie Test: Adolfo finds someone at a major event, whether it be a St. Patrick's Day parade or a Dropkick Murphys concert or some other event, and Fred and Wallach attempt to guess the contestant's answers to a series of questions. The intro song is sung over Shippin' up to Boston by the Dropkick Murphys

Notes