List of ''Roseanne'' episodes

It's Saturday at the Conners, and Dan plans to spend the afternoon "working" (that is, drinking beer and talking) on restoring an old truck with his friends. Roseanne, who has heard Dan make similar promises before, bets that he and the gang can't finish the repair work by the end of the day. Dan takes the bet, but soon realizes that he may have bitten off more than he can chew.

On Thanksgiving Day, Jackie finally spills the news of her new job to her mother. The two of them end up the main event in a series of bickering and snickering that flows through the holiday feast. After everyone is finished eating, and complaining about everyone else, Dan gets a huge shock, when he finds his father is romancing Crystal.

Roseanne visits Darlene's home-economics class, then takes them on a field trip to the supermarket. Meanwhile Dan is helping DJ's bullying problem but it turns out DJ hires a bodyguard to defend himself.

Roseanne awaits a special Valentine's Day gift from Dan; Darlene is disappointed when her crush asks Becky to the dance instead.

Roseanne's upset with Dan because he'd rather play craps than have a romantic night with her. She gets drunk with Nancy and walks into a Wayne Newton performance believing that she's heckling a Newton impersonator. During Arnie's and Nancy's wedding, Dan and Roseanne get to renew their vows.

The Conners' electricity is cut off when they can't pay their bill. Darlene accidentally spends the night with David and her parents don't believe her when she claims they didn't sleep together. Darlene lashes out at them, accusing them of punishing her for Becky's mistakes. Dan phones Becky, finally thawing the ice between the two.

Jackie starts going out with a much younger guy, Fisher. Bev makes a lot of money when she sells her house and she'll give much of it to her daughters IF they let her move to Lanford.

The Conners enjoy torturing Darlene by making her think they're giving her a Sweet-Sixteen party for her birthday. The Conners meet their new neighbors, Ty Tilden (Wings Hauser) and his daughters Charlotte and Molly (Mara Hobel and Danielle Harris).

Roseanne decides to open a loose-meat restaurant with Jackie and Nancy. When she can't get a bank loan, she goes to her mother as a last resort; in order for Bev to agree to put up another $10,000, the trio reluctantly let her become their 4th partner. Molly confronts Darlene about D.J.'s voyeurism, and Darlene confronts Molly about Molly's flirtatious behavior with David.

Becky's absence has drained Roseanne's Halloween spirit, so she's visited by the Ghosts of Halloween Past, Present, and Future--and the future is truly terrifying.

Roseanne and Jackie are shocked to discover that Nancy is a lesbian. Roseanne starts to think she's getting old when Bev decides to move into a retirement community.

Roseanne is threatened at work, prompting the girls to sign up for a self-defense class. When Arnie returns for Nancy, he learns about her lesbian lifestyle.

Molly has an extra ticket for a rock concert and Roseanne reluctantly agrees to let Darlene go. When Darlene doesn't come home until 4AM, Roseanne doesn't quite believe her explanation that Molly ditched her to smoke pot in a stranger's van.

Darlene decides to attend the prom with David, and then take him to a motel room afterward. Are both of them ready for sex? Is either one ready? Tim Curry appears in this episode.

Roseanne has had her fill of Bev at the Lunchbox, so Bev agrees to leave, selling her share to Leon, Roseanne's old boss. Elsewhere, Jackie returns to dating by accepting an invite from Fred, a friend of Dan's, in his first appearance in the series.

Roseanne, shocked to find a bag of marijuana in David's room, immediately punishes him for possession. David thinks it's Darlene's, so he covers for her by saying it's his. But Dan realizes that it's a 20-year-old stash of his and Roseanne's, so they and Jackie indulge once again for old times' sake...

Roseanne has been trying to get pregnant for months, but Jackie is the one with the big announcement when she finds out that she's pregnant from her 1-night stand with Fred.

Dan has lunch with old flame Phyllis Zimmer (mentioned in the 1st-season episode "The Memory Game"), and has trouble keeping it from Roseanne. Vicki Lawrence appears in this episode.

When Becky and Mark return for Dan's 20th high-school football-team anniversary celebration, Roseanne realizes that Becky and Mark are drifting further apart and schemes to break them up, but maybe Mark isn't the one to blame.

Nana Mary embarrasses a heavily pregnant Jackie; Bev reveals a secret about her marriage; Becky prepares the feast; and Dan and Mark battle.

Roseanne's suspicions that Leon is trying to usurp her position as head of the Lunch Box are cast aside by others but ultimately prove to be true. DJ steals Roseanne's car, and her violent response has her questioning whether she is repeating her pattern of childhood abuse onto her kids.

Roseanne joins a women's club because Leon thinks that networking will be good for the diner, and she presses DJ to be friends with the weird son of one of the members (Florence Henderson). Dan finds out that Mark has dropped out of trade school when he catches him at the bar.

Roseanne is upset that Jackie wants Fred in the delivery room instead of her. But she's the one who is there when the contractions start, and she doesn't contact Fred. Jackie gives birth to a son and names him Andy.

When Dan's father misses an alimony payment he feels forced to give his mother money. Fred asks Jackie about her sexual history, then he regrets asking.

DJ has been attending church secretly (saying he was spending that time with a friend), and now he gives Roseanne grief about morals when she wants to keep a stove that was delivered in error. Jesco White makes a cameo appearance, clogging during the credits.

When Bev breaks her pelvis at the retirement home, she claims she fell in the shower but Roseanne discovers the real story. Fred pops the question to Jackie.

Mark and David struggle with the concept of feminism. Fred asks Roseanne about ways to propose to Jackie, and uses lines from her favorite soap opera. Roseanne demands passion from Dan, but turns to fantasy instead.

Dan is sick of having so many people living in the house and wants Becky and Mark to move out, Roseanne agrees until Becky tells them she and Mark are trying to get pregnant. Jackie has become overly protective of the baby, causing problems between her and Fred. After a fight, she goes to stay at Roseanne's place. When everyone finds out that Dan shaves his armpits (due to a cyst) Dan storms off to stay at Fred's. Jackie and Fred make up and Roseanne tells Dan she gave Becky and Mark until May to move out, then announces she is pregnant.

Closing tag: Dan, in shock over Roseanne's announcement sits at the kitchen table as Roseanne's pregnancy progresses until the day of their son's first birthday party. Ratings - 28.9 million viewers 19.5 rating/30 share

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn

Jackie sees Darlene's car at a motel and tells Roseanne, who thinks Darlene and David have broken their promise to abstain from having sex. Roseanne is shocked to learn that Darlene is seeing a guy named Jimmy and David knows. David gives Darlene an ultimatum about Jimmy, when she chooses Jimmy, Darlene and David break-up. Dan admits to Jackie that he is afraid about having another baby, Jackie assures him he is always a wreck when Roseanne gets pregnant and Roseanne always comforts him, but when Dan tells Roseanne his fears, Roseanne lashes out at him. Roseanne later reveals to Jackie she is also scared and Jackie convinces her to confide in Dan. She tries to tell Dan, but ends up comforting him like always.

Closing tag: Throughout the episode family members drink milk from the fridge that is sour, then put it back in the fridge. Dan is the last one to drink the milk and ends up convulsing, but manages to get the milk back in the fridge before passing out on the kitchen floor.

Ratings - 28.6 million viewers 18.6 rating/28 share

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Johnny Galecki

David is devastated by his break-up with Darlene, when Roseanne tries to tell him to move on he angrily tells her about Darlene's drug use at college. Roseanne and Dan confront Darlene, though she denies it, David reveals he saw her do it and feels she will do it again. Roseanne is furious and refuses to allow Darlene to return to college. Darlene convinces Dan she won't do it again, though he won't admit it, he does try to convince Roseanne to let Darlene go back to school. Roseanne is adamant about keeping Darlene home until she realizes David only told her about Darlene's drug use for his own selfish reasons. Though Roseanne can't trust Darlene, she is willing to let her go back to school.

Ratings - 25.4 million viewers 17.0 rating/26 share.

Also starring: Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn

Becky and Mark are arguing constantly and Roseanne finds out from Jackie that Mark hasn't been interested in sex. Jackie tells Roseanne about her own sexual problems with Fred while Roseanne reveals Dan has been trying unusual ways to get her in the mood. Roseanne tries to convince David to get out and meet girls but he isn't interested. Fred tries to have an open talk with Dan and Mark about their sex lives but all three end up realizing they know more than they care to. Roseanne tries to talk to Becky about Mark, and is surprised when Becky reveals she has already been spending time with David talking about her issues with her husband.

Closing tag: Becky, Roseanne and Jackie sit watching sports, drinking beer and smoking cigars, while Fred, Mark and Dan sit in the kitchen eating pudding Dan has made and talking about their feelings and body issues. After Roseanne makes a quip about Dan's weight in front of Fred and Mark, he cries and runs off.

Ratings - 26.8 million viewers 18.0 rating/28 share.

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn
Guest stars: Martin Mull, John McConnell

David thinks about moving out and Becky finds out that he had a sex dream and she thinks it is about her. When DJ tells Mark, Mark goes after David who finally admits the dream was about Roseanne. Roseanne is at first disgusted until Dan admits he had a similar dream about Bev when he first started dating Roseanne. David admits to Roseanne that he sees her as a mother figure and Roseanne believes the dream was about his desire for affection. When she reveals the truth to Becky, Becky seems disappointed and admits she is confused about her feelings for David.

Ratings 26.9 million viewers 17.7 rating/28 share.

Also starring: Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn, Estelle Parsons

Leon begins to pay more attention to Fred who acts overly annoyed about it, Nancy and Leon think Fred doth protest too much. When Leon hosts a Halloween party, all his gay friends seem to know Fred quite well and Roseanne becomes convinced that Fred is gay. Roseanne is also convinced that Bev is going bald and wears a wig, and she is shocked to see a wig in the style of Bev's hair at her hairdresser.

Closing tag: Bev admits she is bald and takes off her "wig". Then everyone else in the family take off their wigs to show they are bald too. Realizing she has been pranked, Roseanne takes out a detonation device and blows up the house.

Ratings - 29.7 million viewers 19.2 rating/30 share.

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn, Estelle Parsons
Guest stars: Martin Mull, Sandra Bernhard, Jazzmun
Featuring: Bob Nickman, Alec Mapa, Ken Kells

DJ tries to get out of his busboy job at the Lunchbox, Roseanne refuses to fire him until he starts to tell Leon a few of Roseanne's secret work habits. David starts getting attention from girls and he begins dating again, but is upset when Mark reveals Darlene and Jimmy plan to move in together. David goes to Chicago and meets Jimmy, posing as Darlene's peer counselor Craig, he tells Jimmy about Darlene's serious mental health issues. Roseanne schemes to get DJ back to the Lunchbox and tells Dan that DJ needs to learn a work ethic, so Dan gives DJ a job at his work, forcing Roseanne to reveal that she really wants to spend more time with DJ. DJ reluctantly returns to the Lunchbox, but is glad he did when he sees the new busgirl Staci (Traci Lords). Jimmy confronts David with his lies about Darlene, believing instead that David is gay and interested in him, while Darlene finds out about David's lies and is disgusted by his desperate behavior.

Closing tag: In a parody of a porn movie called "Lunch Box Girls", Roseanne, Staci and Jackie star as horny waitresses working at "The Box". When a male customer comes in they undress him with the promise of getting hot, sweaty, gooey and slippery and end up making him clean out the grease trap while they watch.

Ratings 25.9 million viewers 17.3 rating/27 share.

Also starring: Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn
Guest stars: Martin Mull, Danny Masterson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Traci Lords
Featuring: Bob Nickman, Diane Dorsey

DJ is being bullied at school and Dan offers to teach him how to fight. DJ reveals his own patent moves for getting out of a fight which involves lying on the ground in the fetal position. David asks Dan to teach him how to fight, but Roseanne stops Dan, telling him David only wants to learn how to fight to impress Darlene, because Jimmy is a boxer. She tells him to encourage David to feel good about himself which Dan struggles with. Jackie and Roseanne head to Chicago to meet Jimmy. Roseanne dislikes Jimmy and tells Jackie she really wants David and Darlene back together. When DJ beats up David, Dan tries to comfort David and discovers David wasn't trying to impress Darlene, but was trying to impress Dan.

Closing tag: Fred and Dan argue over a basketball game and Fred uses DJ's fetus position to avoid a fight. Dan gloats until he hears Roseanne come home and joins Fred. This references a pivotal scene in the 1979 film version of the novel The Great Santini, in which Michael O'Keefe (Fred) played Ben, the title character's oldest son.

Ratings - 27.4 million viewers 18 rating/27 share.

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Johnny Galecki, Glenn Quinn
Guest stars: Danny Masterson

Jackie doesn't want Bev spending so much time at the house and is upset and baffled that Fred likes spending so much time with her. DJ doesn't want to kiss a girl named Gina at school for a play. Roseanne, feeling that DJ is being forced to do something he doesn't want to, meets with his teacher, who tells Roseanne that DJ does not want to kiss Gina because she is black. Roseanne confronts DJ and tells him he has to kiss her, but he refuses and Dan supports his decision. After a fight with Chuck (James Pickens, Jr.) Dan questions his own bigotry, and he tells DJ he has to kiss Gina. Roseanne confronts her own bigotry when a man stops by late at night at the Lunchbox and she is afraid to let him in until he tells her he is Gina's father. He angrily confronts her and leaves her wondering if she was afraid to let him in because he was a man or because he was black.

Closing tag: Bev is at Jackie and Fred's again annoying Jackie. When Jackie goes to bed, Bev reveals her true self, with a lower voice she smokes a cigar, drinks a beer and shares a few laughs with Fred.

Ratings 24.9 million viewers 16.9 rating/25 share.

Also starring: Michael O'Keefe, Estelle Parsons

Roseanne and Dan are anxious about her pregnancy, and DJ steps up and says he will help with whatever is needed. There is good news, but the celebration is dimmed by another fight.

Ratings 25.4 million viewers 17.5 rating/27 share.

After drunk-driving, Bev is forced to attend an AA meeting, where she realizes she is indeed an alcoholic. When she shows up at Dan's Super Bowl XXIX party, Roseanne tells the guests to hide the keg. This proves catastrophic.

Roseanne lies about the doctor putting her on total bedrest so everyone will be waiting on her. David discovers her lie, and Jackie confronts Bev about her terrible mothering.

David and Mark fight over Stacy (Traci Lords), a Lunch Box waitress. Jackie confronts Fred about their boring sex life.

Jackie has started spending time, though not romantically, with a man she met through Stacy. Dan sees them at the Lobo and confronts Jackie, pointing out that if she's not telling Fred about this man, then what she's doing amounts to cheating.

Closing tag: While Roseanne does not appear in the actual episode, she does address the audience and let them know they shouldn't worry, although she needed bed rest and couldn't tape that night's episode she will still be getting paid. She then explains where babies come from.

In the first part of this one-hour clip show special, a young Roseanne and Jackie go to a fortuneteller to look into the future, where they find Jackie taking an adult, autistic DJ to a psychiatrist. In the second half, sitcom moms point the finger at Rosey about parenting.

DJ's new girlfriend (Ashley Johnson), who Roseanne actually likes, is bossing him around, and their relationship causes problems at school. Jackie and Fred see a psychologist (Ellen DeGeneres) about their anger issues.

Roseanne thinks David likes someone other than Darlene, so the two reconcile after much poking and prodding.

The Conners are chosen as a Nielsen family. Roseanne's nesting instincts disrupt the family routine. Jackie and Fred's marriage comes to an end.

Roseanne encourages Dan to return to working on the boat in the garage, bringing on a massive Gilligan's Island fantasy transforming family members into the sitcom's characters.

Becky and Darlene feud over Roseanne's baby shower.

When a new, more classy restaurant opens opposite the Lunchbox, Roseanne declares war. Pat Harrington, Jr. appears in this episode.

On Halloween, Roseanne reigns as "Queen of the Gypsies, consort of wizards and seer of souls." A Ouija board sends a message from "The Dead" that portends an unexpected event: Roseanne goes into labor. She delivers a baby boy, Jerry Garcia Conner.

The Conners find themselves going back in time in this spoof of 1950s sitcoms (shot mostly in black and white): Roseanne's a fussy hausfrau, Dan is a hapless businessman stewing over "the Anderson account", and Jackie's the wacky neighbor.

Jackie and Roseanne's shopping trip with Jerry turns into a version of Thelma and Louise when they pick up a teenage hitchhiker and run a trucker off the road. Jenna Elfman appears as the hitchhiker.

When DJ's teacher gives his students free rein, the class Thanksgiving pageant takes on a decidedly modern, Pulp Fiction twist that offends many of the parents, but not the Conners. Roseanne invites some new Native American friends over for their Thanksgiving celebration, and they do it their way.

Dan's old bandmates (John Popper) roll into Lanford to play, and Dan gets a dose of regret, infused with a tad of depression. Roseanne talks to the band and gets Dan a little stage time, which he fully enjoys.

Note: Blues Traveler, who guest starred in the episode, would compose the show's theme song next season.

While Roseanne narrates a video time capsule for her unborn child, Becky and Darlene find old love letters of Dan and Roseanne's. DJ gets upset when he finds his parents did not fill out his baby book, and Mark cooks a 'special' dinner for the Conner clan.

Scott and Leon have trouble planning their wedding until Roseanne offers to plan it for free. This includes dealing with Leon's cold feet/self-doubt about his sexuality.

Jackie realizes her hidden talent as a samplesperson as she and Roseanne take jobs at a grocery store. Meanwhile, Dan and David fight about Mark being DJ's role model.

When Dan's buddies show up with a great new job prospect for the old crew, Dan is confused: Should he continue on at the garage or make a bid on a huge construction job that would make him & his friends a lot of money? Meanwhile, Jackie gets hooked up to the Internet: her initial reluctance doesn't last and soon David needs to intervene.

The family goes hog-wild with excitement and with plans to travel to Disney World Dan brings home his final paycheck from the Lanford City Garage.

Fireworks and fanfare accompany the Conners on a whirlwind tour of the magical kingdom of Disney World, when Darlene finds she's actually happy in the presence of Winnie the Pooh.

Note: This is the second of three episodes to feature Sarah Chalke as Becky Conner-Healy.

Just weeks after their hot night in Disney World, Darlene proposes to David and announces that she's pregnant.

After an impromptu interview at the diner goes spectacularly well, Roseanne prepares to "Wake Up Chicago" on a morning TV talk show (with Jackie as her manager) with a news commentator who has a unique and "opinionated blue-collar outlook". Meanwhile, David plans for the wedding, but offends Bev as well.

Bev's smitten with her passionate ballroom-dance instructor, but—Drama on the Dance Floor alert!-he starts flirting with the newly divorced Jackie. When Jackie agrees to have dinner with him, Bev's claws come out!

Guest star: Tony Curtis as Hal

Dan suffers a heart attack at Darlene and David's wedding.

Roseanne tries—in vain—to be cool at the hospital. We learn that DJ performed CPR on Dan to keep him alive. Dan's hospital room is the venue for Darlene and David's scaled-down reception.

Dan returns home to strict diet regime and other rules, but he goes against it behind Roseanne's back. When she finds out, it leads to a huge argument during which old resentments are brought up and the house is trashed due to their anger at each other. In the end, Roseanne walks out as her marriage to Dan looks on the verge of complete collapse.

Regretting breaking the rules and fighting with Roseanne, Dan fixes the house after the huge fight and leaves a ton of messages on Jackie's answering machine. Roseanne finds herself in front of Jackie's TV, watching notable past sitcoms like That Girl, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Cameo appearance by Ed Asner on the latter show), eventually finding her and Dan playing the roles of Ann & Don, Mary and Lou Grant, and Jeannie and Tony. Later, Jackie convinces Roseanne that Dan and Roseanne were meant for each other and, when she is finally alone with Andy and Jerry, makes a shocking discovery about her lottery ticket after watching the lottery drawings on TV.

With a full dinner table and a home-cooked meal, Roseanne daydreams about the lottery winnings; from a riot on the Jerry Springer Show to a glamorous photo shoot with Jackie and Hugh Hefner.

Dan announces that he's going to visit his mother in California. Jackie and Roseanne wait out the Conner house's renovation at a spa.

Prince Carlos Charmaine (Jim Varney) from Moldavia, visits Jackie, with whom he's enamored after seeing her on television. Roseanne warns Jackie to remain distant, until Leon discovers that he's really a prince. The family are invited on a trip to New York with Leon in place of Dan, who's still in California.

Roseanne and Jackie's spa trip subjects them to a strict diet, acid peels, skin toxins, and exhausting hikes. Tammy Faye Messner appears in this episode.

Roseanne, Jackie, and Nancy visit New York City's Upper West Side, where they meet celebrities and are invited to Martha's Vineyard by a woman named Astrid Wentworth. After getting drunk with Edina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders) and Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley) of Absolutely Fabulous, Roseanne has a Rosemary's Baby-parody nightmare of Darlene giving birth to Satan.

Roseanne, Jackie, DJ, Mark, Bev, Becky, Andy, and Jerry go to the Wentworth estate to meet Astrid's family, who aren't impressed at Roseanne's trashy ways. When she finds the family's stash of "happy pills," Roseanne teaches them to scream out their anger. Dana Gould appears in this episode.

Roseanne meets First Lady Hillary Clinton (Teresa Barnwell), after saving her family and Dr. Bakshmi from women-hating terrorists on a train to Washington D.C. Steven Seagal, Mike Tyson and Don King appear in this episode.

Roseanne, Jackie, and the family finally arrive home from all the excitement! Roseanne is disappointed that Dan hasn't returned from his trip yet. Her Thanksgiving is being catered, so she and Jackie open the Lunch Box as a soup kitchen. Bev reveals more than she intended during Thanksgiving dinner (as usual).

Dan still isn't home, and Roseanne is afraid of the changes she has made to family and house. Elsewhere, Bev seeks answers from free-spirited mother Mary, who finally mends her relationship with her daughter.

Roseanne kicks Dan out over his affair with his mother's nurse, and her decision devastates her.

Roseanne ignores Dan and drives around town eating fast food and listening to radio shows. She thinks Dan had an affair because of her appearance. As Dan packs his bags to leave, he and DJ have a huge fight. In the heat of anger, DJ goes to a video store and meets his soul mate, Heather (Heather Matarazzo). Dan heads back to California, but at the last moment he cancels his flight and moves into a motel near the airport.

A depressed Roseanne locks herself and Jerry in her bedroom with fatty foods, trashy magazines, and TV. Friends and family attempt to get her out, but all ultimately fail to do so--until Mark tells her that Dan hasn't left town yet and wants her back.

Roseanne and Jackie attend an exquisite luncheon where they discuss politics and other topics with Lanford's elite. Roseanne meets Edgar Wellman (James Brolin), son of the owner of Roseanne and Jackie's former workplace, and Edgar asks Roseanne for money to help keep Wellman Plastics open--it fell into decline after the sisters left in 1989.

Jackie believes that Roseanne and Edgar Wellman are an item for real--they're not, although Roseanne wishes they were. Roseanne claims it's just for business; Jackie doesn't believe her. Roseanne dreams that the couple are from the movie Evita.

Reluctant to leave, Dan asks Jackie about Edgar Wellman's relationship with Roseanne. Jackie confirms, but Roseanne returns to Dan. As they reconcile, they receive a call from Jackie: Darlene is in labor and has been given a drug to stop her from delivering a premature baby.

Jackie and Mark attend a wrestling match, where Jackie ends up fighting the Black Widow (Dot Jones). DJ's first sexual experience looms and he consults Mark, who isn't helpful.

Roseanne and Jackie learn that producers want to make a TV-movie about the Conners, but also find out that they want to make distressingly drastic changes: gorgeous actors to play the Conners, less blue-collar plot twists, etc. Meanwhile, Bev, Leon, and Joyce naively reveal all kinds of information about Roseanne's life and past to a tabloid reporter.

Dan's mother Audrey (now played by Debbie Reynolds, previously played by Ann Wedgeworth in the 1989 Thanksgiving episode), visits unexpectedly and keeps trying to kill her son for putting her away for so many years. Roseanne finally decides to end it all with a simple backyard battle.

Special guest star: Debbie Reynolds

Harris Conner Healy, Darlene and David's preemie daughter, finally arrives home, and Darlene decides to stay in the Conner nest for a while and DJ begrudgingly gives up his room and heads for David's former space in the basement. When Mark and Becky come to visit Harris, it is revealed that they too are expecting; Mark wants to spread the news, but Becky opts to keep it quiet until things are going more smoothly with Harris. Darlene is apprehensive about overstaying their welcome but when she questions her mother, Roseanne says she wants them to stay forever. Darlene would like that too, so she's relieved. Leon and his husband announce that they will be adopting a little girl, Nadia, who needs a family.

In the first half, the family talks about life after winning the lottery. Then Roseanne reflects about her fictional life as a voiceover monologue reveals that the show itself has really been her writing. She says that while the book she was writing was based on her life, she changed what she didn't like. For instance: in reality, the Conners did not win the lottery; Dan had in real life died of the heart attack he suffered the day of Darlene and David's wedding; Jackie—not Bev—was gay; and Mark and Darlene, and Becky and David, were the Conner-Healy couples. In the final moments, after looking over her book and telling the audience about her depression after Dan's death and how the difficult birth of the baby snapped her back into reality, she goes upstairs and sits on the couch. As the show fades to black, Phoebe Snow sings the theme song one last time and Roseanne's trademark laugh is heard one last time.