List of ''Malcolm in the Middle'' episodes

11-year-old Malcolm (Frankie Muniz) lives with his dysfunctional family: neurotic father, Hal (Bryan Cranston), control-freak mother Lois (Jane Kaczmarek), dim-witted bully 13-year-old Reese (Justin Berfield), and eccentric 6-year-old Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan). His favorite elder brother, 16-year-old Francis (Christopher Masterson), has been packed off to military school for chronic misbehavior. At school Malcolm tries to keep his head down and avoid the school bully Spath, but his teachers spot his intelligence and testing reveals his I.Q. to be 165. When Lois forces him to join the school's gifted class, Malcolm objects because he doesn't want to be bullied for being a "Krelboyne". Frustrated at being ostracized by the regular kids, Malcolm lashes out at Spath, and with some help from his new friend Stevie, fortuitously humiliates Spath and becomes the nerds' hero.

Lois is supposed to meet Hal at an expensive restaurant for their anniversary date, but Lois forgets to go after she finds her red dress burned and flushed down the toilet, sending her into a violent rage. She spends the night punishing Reese, Dewey, and Malcolm, trying to figure out which of them burned her dress. Meanwhile, Hal makes friends with a member of the restaurant staff while waiting for Lois. Malcolm, seeing that he and his brothers cannot fight Lois alone, calls Francis for help against Lois. It is later revealed that Hal burned the dress by accident.

Francis deserts from military school to spend more time with his girlfriend, who breaks up with him as soon as he gets home (finding him boring and over attached). Lois finds out Francis has left school, but does not know where he went. Malcolm discovers Francis hiding in the woods near their house and brings him food, though keeping the secret from his brothers and parents gets more and more complicated by the time. After Hal finds him, he decides to drive him across the country back to the military school so Lois won't find him.

Malcolm gets a role in a high school play and starts blowing off his friends to spend more time with his new high school friends. Caroline gives birth in the school parking lot when the Krelboynes' model rocket launch goes awry. Hal and Dewey create a LEGO city. At the play, the constant exposure to the high-school gossip causes Malcolm to forget his lines and allowing the Krelboynes to get their revenge on him for it.

In this Sliding Doors-style story, the viewer simultaneously sees what happens when the boys go bowling with Hal and what happens when they go bowling with Lois. In both versions, Malcolm and Reese go to bowl, while Dewey stays at home because he is punished for killing the neighbor's parakeet, as a subplot, with one of the parents guarding him. In the both versions, when Hal/Lois return home from the bowling alley, they say to each other that next time, they are taking them. Tony Danza and Alex McKenna guest stars.

Hal and Dewey accidentally drop an old couch on the railroad tracks while driving it to the dump, and the town ends up being evacuated into the school gym after a train containing toxic waste derails. While Hal tries to make up to society, Malcolm was late coming home from school and gets grounded and spanked, so Lois forces him to stay on his designated cot in the gym. Dewey convinces other people that he is an orphan in order to get what he wants, and Reese starts running a black market when he realizes that everyone there is in need of basic supplies. At the end, Malcolm gets fed up and stands up at Lois, Reese's black market is discovered, Dewey reveals his and Hal scheme in front of the crowd. The Army forces Hal, Dewey, Lois and Reese to spend the night on the bench outside without moving from it, with Malcolm enjoying his freedom, while an enraged Lois warning him "Don't think you won't suffer the consequences later, mister!". Eric takes Francis out on a blind double, but Francis' date turns out to be twelve. However, Francis has a better time with the girl than Eric has with his own date.

While Hal worries and argues with Lois over the possibility of her being pregnant again since she is two weeks late with her period, the two look back at the memories of their children's births, from Francis being born while Hal and Lois got married, Reese born early because Lois pushed him out when he kicked too hard, Malcolm born on the front yard because Lois had to go to the hospital and Francis locked her out of the car because he thought he would get a shot, to Dewey's birth on the backyard while it was raining because young Malcolm accidentally made chlorine gas and the house had to air out and the car keys were inside the gassy house. During Dewey's birth, Hal was forced by Lois to tell her why he loves her. Later, Dewey, who has been listening to his parents, is happy that they are not arguing anymore, because he thought they would get a divorce. Lois is revealed not to be pregnant and wished she had a girl. Hal is against it, mentioning that even if they have a girl, he and the boys would still lose because Lois is good at keeping everyone in line.

Hal finally gets an invitation to Abe's poker game, where Hal feels left out because he's the only amateur player and the only 'non-professional' (it never occurs to him that he is also the only white player there). Malcolm clashes with Stevie for filming him in a homework assignment that leads to a poker match. Reese collects money from old ladies who wanted to partner up at Lois's dance class, then uses the money to get Dewey a toy and smashes it in front of him. For revenge, Dewey films Reese being dragged along to the class. Meanwhile, Francis and his Alaskan friends are trapped in an Alaskan blizzard fending off cabin fever. In the end, Hal and Abe make up and helps Malcolm and Stevie do the same.

Reese works at a fast-food place, but gets into trouble when his co-workers think he stole money from the cash register. Dewey tries to prove himself trustworthy with a goldfish and his parents try to sabotage his efforts with switching the live fish with a dead one, until they find out that Dewey was switching the fish with others in order to get a dog. Malcolm finds himself eclipsed by the newest, youngest Krelboyne, Barton, Herkabe latest attempt to get rid of Malcolm. Barton and the boys confront Richie with stealing the money which he denies until his girlfriend (who works at the same fast-food joint) walks into the room and reveals the truth not knowing the boys are in there. So to avid getting thrown in jail, Richie ends up making a deal with them to allow the boys to use his house for a party on the weekends that he's away (also free burgers for life and drive them to school and work). The next day much to Herkabe's annoyance, Barton's father shows up and has decided to transfer him to another school where he can be a normal child. Francis helps one of his lodge friends prepare to marry a Russian mail-order bride, but what arrives is not what they expected.

Dewey finds a dog and uses him to gain the upper hand over Malcolm and Reese, such as making them wear dresses and makeup. When Craig comes by to return some dry-cleaning, Dewey holds him hostage. Craig manages to run away but the dog chases him. Because the dog is gone, Malcolm and Reese torture Dewey as revenge for the dog (making him eat dog food, forcing him to defecate out in the front yard, etc). Meanwhile, Hal and Lois go on a date, and neither will admit that they caught Craig's flu. In Alaska, Francis comes face-to-face with his former, albeit drunk commandant, Edwin Spangler, who blames him for not only losing his job at Marlin Academy, but also his desertion. Francis feels sympathy for Spangler and gets him a job at a retirement home that gives him free reign to bully the elderly.

Believing the boys ruined the car, Hal forces them to see a psychiatrist (Andy Richter) to cure their bad behavior. Soon the three open up and tell him all about their family, which escalates into a big fight between the boys, freaking out the shrink.

Malcolm's first day of high school gets off to a bad start when Lois embarrasses him in front of the entire school, causing him to have no actual friends except the Krelboynes. He becomes depressed about this and discovers the only way he can escape is if he commits a felony that would make Lois ship him off to military academy. However, Cynthia catches on to Malcolm's plan and warns him that if he goes through with it, she will never have sex with him again. Cynthia is pegged as a slut by other kids at the school, but also distracts Malcolm enough for Lois to come and punish him. Lois and Hal volunteer in the school, where Hal clashes with Mr. Herkabe, who doesn't like him. Meanwhile, with Malcolm and Reese away, Dewey stays home alone for the first time in his life (but only for 15 minutes), and has a wonderful time. On the ranch, Francis takes some side-jobs on to earn more money, such as teaching aerobics and being a masseur. When Otto sees that he's overworking himself, he generously give Francis time off with a truck to spend time with Piama.

A combination of Malcolm's disgust at the house falling apart around them, and Hal's fear-induced "zero tolerance" attempts at maintaining peace and order in the family, results in Malcolm being kicked out of the house; the longer he has no home, the more his sanity begins to slip away. Hal finds Malcolm at his ex-girlfriend's house and agrees to keep this between them, knowing that Lois would've gone through greater lengths to find him. At the ranch, Otto's family arrives and Francis has deal with Otto's piano-playing nephew who annoys him, which leads to him smashing his piano in front of Otto's family. Meanwhile, Reese comes up with an idiotic idea by attaching a fire hose to his back for more speed on his bike, which ends up in a disaster.

Hal gets a second job at "U-Buy It." Meanwhile Jessica (Hayden Panettiere), a girl from Malcolm's school, babysits Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey while Hal works the night shift, and she ends up embarrassing them in front of her friends, and in the end, they have Dewey to be the bait and having him eavesdrop on the conversation between Jessica and her friends, then using the gossip information to blackmail her into cooperation. Meanwhile, Francis accidentally hires a film crew to shoot a porno at the Grotto, and tries to hide the truth from Otto and Gretchen.

Hal meets with an old high-school friend, Larry (Joel Murray), who hasn't changed in all the time since they've seen each other. Meanwhile, Malcolm tries to make Dabney stand up for himself when his overprotective and control-freak mom won't let him use his new paintball gun because it's "violent", as they celebrate Dabney's birthday with the rest of the crowd. However, Dabney takes this to heart and finally stands up for himself at a Paintball facility by pretending his bullies are his overbearing mother and fires at them with paintballs. When the mother confronts Malcolm and Stevie, Dabney shows up more assertive than before and lets his mother know there will be changes from now on.

In this second clip show, Hal and Lois are penning their will, and think back to all the trouble their sons put them through. Hal forewarned against making out the will because neither he and Lois are equipped for the task and wanted to go to a professional to make out the will. It is there Lois' problems with Francis is finally revealed and how her inability to admit when she is wrong lead to a lot of the problems the family has been dealing with.

Lois goes into labor while Hal and the boys are at a bridal exposition (which Hal had mistaken for car exposition). Ida moves in after her apartment burns down and she refuses to stay with Susan. After realizing that Ida has a fear of black people, Francis, Lois, and Piama enlist Abe and his poker buddies to help scare Ida out of the house. Meanwhile, Malcolm has been accepted to a boarding school in England, and he is overjoyed to go to have a new life, away from his parents and his miserable life. Hal forbids him to go and has a heart-to-heart talk with Malcolm. He is finally convinced to stay home when he realize the family cannot function without him (showing that Hal does appreciate Malcolm). Stunned at the date his parents chose for the baby's planned delivery, Dewey reveals the date is his birthday in an announcement at the exposition to humiliate Hal, leaving him stunned to face the unhappy crowd and even Malcolm can't find a solution. After collecting Dewey, Hal and Malcolm finds a trapped Reese in a cello case after hearing that he enraged a man who owned the tuxedo, they run to the car park and get in the car but Reese has the keys in the cello with him and gets Busted by security.

A frantic Hal crashes the car while trying to get home to Lois, who has gone into labor. Meanwhile Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey take a parenting class to be better brothers to their new sibling, but realize everything they were taught in the class is the opposite of what their parents did for them (or didn't do since Hal and Lois were usually too busy having sex). Piama and Lois trick Susan and Ida into clearing up the misunderstanding between them to get Ida to leave. Francis is forced to help Lois give birth when the paramedics don't arrive in time. They manage to deliver the baby, who is named Jamie (although the gender is deliberately not revealed).

While Francis is trapped with Otto in a well he was supposed to fix, a fire erupts in the barn (also Francis' fault). Meanwhile, the family travels to Las Vegas, where Reese and Dewey show an obese rabbit at a competition, Hal is convinced he has had a prophetic dream about winning at a slot machine, and Lois goes backstage with her favorite singer Boone Vincent (David Cassidy); they chat about their private lives and she gives him parenting advice.

Returning early from vacation, the family discovers that their neighbors have been celebrating their yearly absence with a block party (since Lois and the boys are not liked by the neighbors). Reese and Dewey scheme to make quick cash by letting kids beat up Reese, Hal and Lois join the kielbasa-eating contest, and Malcolm inadvertently aids a burglar. Meanwhile, Francis finds himself assigned to breeding cows, the most disgusting job at the ranch.

Lois begins to think she is losing her touch when Jamie seems too much for her to handle. When Hal realizes that Lois is losing her confidence, he brings Francis home in order for him to explain to Lois how was she able to have confidence as a mother. However when she regains her confidence, Lois finds out that Reese has feeding Jamie "super energy soda", causing him to go berserk and leading her to punish him. Meanwhile, the other boys bring home a diving board and Reese tries to think up the craziest possible stunt to pull with it, eventually going crazy. Reese finally admits that he feels that he is not into stunts again, that is why he wants to do the craziest stunt.

When four popular high school girls play an evil prank on Reese by pretending he has a secret admirer and then dropping a pig off at his front door, he falls into a huge depression. After Lois tries to negotiate with the principal (who responds that Reese deserved it), she forces Reese to tell her who the girls are so she can get revenge for him with a series of destructive pranks. This episode features Emma Stone as Diane, one of the high school girls who picks on Reese.