It Never Rains...

"It Never Rains..."
Only Fools and Horses episode
Episode no. Series 2
Episode 6
Directed by Ray Butt
Written by John Sullivan
Produced by Ray Butt
Original air date 25 November 1982
(9.5 million viewers)
Running time

30 minutes

  • 29:28 (DVD)
  • 29:29 (iTunes)

"It Never Rains..." is an episode of the BBC sitcom, Only Fools and Horses. It was the sixth episode of series 2, and was first screened on 25 November 1982. In the episode, Del, Rodney and Grandad go on holiday to Spain. All is going well until Grandad gets arrested.

Plot summary

It has been endlessly raining for four days in Peckham, and the Trotters have not been able to flog any of their sun-hats.

At The Nag's Head, Del Boy bumps into his friend Alex, a down-on-his-luck travel agent. They have a chat about how they can boost their businesses, and Del suggests that Alex offer an 80% discount on a holiday to the next customer, who just happens to be Del.

Back at the flat, Del tells Rodney and Grandad that they are going to Benidorm, Spain. Rodney is worried that Grandad will cramp their style, but Del just tells him to shrug it off.

When they get to Benidorm, Del and Rodney manage to pick up a couple of girls, but when they go back to their hotel room, they find Grandad asleep with his false teeth by his bedside and so the night ends there.

A few days later, on the beach, Rodney and Del are worried about why Grandad has been acting very withdrawn since they landed. Del tries chatting up a "French" woman but loses out to a burly Englishman. Meanwhile, Rodney discovers that Grandad has been arrested and after telling Del, the Trotter Brothers search for Grandad.

At the police station, Grandad tells his grandsons a long and convoluted story about why he might have been arrested: in 1936, when his family was poor, Grandad and his friend Nobby Clarke hitchiked all the way to Southampton, got a boat to Tangier, and after a failed attempt to join the French Foreign Legion, became gun-runners during the Spanish Civil War. Eventually, they were captured, Nobby was tortured, and the pair were deported back to England. After hearing the story, Del bribes the guard into letting Grandad go, but it soon turns out that Grandad was only arrested for jaywalking and is free to go with no charge anyway, leaving Del out of pocket. Rodney says that they best go to the drug store to get cotton wool for Grandad's cuts and bruises. When Grandad says that he hasn't got any cuts and bruises, Del says "It's early yet!".[Note 1]

Notes

  1. In the 2015 novel He Who Dares..., it is revealed that over the last few days of the holidays, Grandad "didn't even moan about having to sleep in the bathroom."

Episode cast

Actor Role
David Jason Derek Trotter
Nicholas Lyndhurst Rodney Trotter
Lennard Pearce Grandad Trotter
Jim McManus Alex
Graham Cole Customs guard (uncredited)
Anne Bruzac French girl
Jillianne Foot English girl
Michael Attwell English man
Anthony Jackson Spanish guard

Trivia

Music

Mungo Jerry : In The Summertime

References

  1. "It Never Rains". OFAH.net. Retrieved 26 August 2014.
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