Hole (''Bottom'')

"Hole" is the first episode of the third series of British television sitcom, Bottom. It was first broadcast on 6 January 1995. It is the last of only three episodes (along with Culture and Contest) to feature only the two main characters, however it is the only one of the three to be set entirely outside of the flat. It is also a single-scene real-time episode

Synopsis

During a night at the fair, Eddie and Richie are trapped on top of the tallest Ferris wheel in Western Europe, and the ride is scheduled to be blown up the next morning.

Plot

Richie and Eddie go to the fair for the evening and begin to talk about their night out on top of the tallest Ferris wheel in Western Europe. Richie claims that this has to be his last ride of the night as he is "Up to my three quid limit"; Eddie informs him that this ride on the Ferris Wheel cost three pounds, thus implying they have just been walking around the fairground all night. Eddie then asks for another go at the "throwing the darts at the cards game," but Richie explains it was closed after the proprietor was sent to the Eye Hospital as a result of Eddie's first go. They then talk about an unfortunate incident on the Waltzers in which an elderly woman was covered in vomit; Eddie states "I had no idea I'd eaten so much." Richie describes that he "whizzed round three times and she looked like the creature from the swamp." Eddie believes that not all the vomit was his as he didn't remembering eating "all those horrible lumps of gristle," to which Richie replies that the gristle was the woman's face.

After another unfortunate incident on the ghost train that proves far too terrifying for Eddie causing him to soil himself. He was just lucky that another man on the ride passed out otherwise he would have never managed to get his trousers off, Richie asks how his newly acquired trousers fit. Eddie replies that they're fine but stands up to reveal a floral skirt. Richie says they appear to have a "skirty feel" about them to which Eddie replies "I think he may have been Scottish." Richie then replies "Oh well, that's all right, the Scots are allowed to be transvestites."

To finish their fun, they decide to go on the Ferris wheel, but the burly ride operator shuts down the ride halfway through a turn leaving Richie and Eddie stranded at the top. Richie believes that the two girls he claims have been following them around the fairground all night are getting on the ride. Richie claims that his girl is very good-looking and that Eddie's girl isn't as good-looking: has a beard, smokes a pipe and doesn't have as many legs. Eddie realizes who Richie is talking about: they are "Keith and Deirdre" from the local pub's mixed couples nudie mud-wrestling team. Richie tries to save face by claiming that Deirdre is his girl and Keith is Eddie's, and asks if the two are a couple, why was Deirdre "giving him the eye all night?... Not the glass one, the other one." to which Eddie replies that she's blind. Eddie then tells Richie that the only reason they were following them was because Eddie owes Keith £50 from seventeen years ago.

They spend the next half-hour getting on each other's nerves. Eddie takes a full plastic pint pot of Bitter from his coat pocket and starts drinking. Eddie begins to read a newspaper; after reading an article about the Ferris wheel, he realizes that it's due to be blown up in a controlled explosion at dawn as the Ferris wheel is a death-trap and would be too expensive to dismantle. They realise that they must escape and decide to make a flare in order to attract attention. Eddie reveals a bottle of Brandy in which he has also added methylated spirits, Pernod, paint stripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie. Richie thinks that Drambuie is a drink not befitting a man and makes limp-wristed gestures to which Eddie replies "Well you've got to put something in it for the birds." Richie smells the bottle as asks Eddie in a puzzled manner "How are you alive?" Eddie taps his nose and replies "I may very well not be." Richie spots a police helicopter, lights the bottle in the same manner as a Molotov cocktail, and throws it in the air. The makeshift flare fails to burst and ends up falling back into the Ferris wheel seats causing the floor between the seats to catch fire. Thinking they will now be seen, Richie tells Eddie to start waving and shouting to the chopper, to which Eddie points out their predicament by sarcastically asking if they're shouting for help "because they're stuck on the top of a ferris wheel or because they're burning to death!" Richie realizes Eddie is right and forces him to pour his second "Emergency" glass of Bitter onto the fire. Eddie does so but is enraged and states to Richie "I will never ever ever forget you for this."

After the fire has been put out, Richie stamps on it as if he had been the brave one. This causes the floor to collapse and results in him hanging by his fingertips, Eddie pulls him back up by his hair and the two proceed to argue. Eventually the Ferris wheel seats come loose and they are left hanging 350 feet in the air. Eddie quickly becomes a Buddhist (because he wants to be reincarnated as a bra, or as Claudia Schiffer), Richie decides that they should start to pray, to which Eddie asks "Who to, Buddha?" and Richie replies "No, none of that old supermodel cobblers, good old C of E" and they pray to God. A giant hand stretches out to save them and the two climb on moments before the Ferris Wheel seats fall to the ground. Eddie turns to Richie and states "Although we—and indeed the whole BBC—respect people's rights to believe in whatever they wish…"; at this point he turns to the camera and breaks the fourth wall of theatre and parenthetically adds, "Because we don't want to get into the shit on this one."; turning back to Richie he finishes with "We don't actually believe in God." Richie realises Eddie's right, and the two exclaim "Shit!" as the hand disappears and the two plummet.

Notes

• This is the second time Eddie damages someone's eye in a carnival stall. In this case, it is the proprietor of 'the throwing the darts at the cards thingy.' The previous mishap was in Apocalypse, when Eddie shot the right eye of a shooting gallery stall holder.
• In the outtakes on the Region 2 DVD, you can hear the full explicit dialogue that was bleeped by Eddie in the actual episode regarding their use of swearing. You can also hear this on the Audio version of this episode.

Consistency Errors

• Eddie says that the loud Wurlitzer organ music played at the fairground reminded him of his dad's funeral. But in many of the other episodes Eddie says that he has no idea who his father was.
• Eddie reads in The Hammersmith Bugle that the paper's Stork margarine competition winner is Slip Digby, but in one of the Bottom Live shows, it is said that Eddie and Richie are the only people to have ever read the paper.
• Eddie drops a plastic cup (from the ferris wheel) and it almost ammediately drops to the ground making a noise.

Cast

References