Gold star gay

Gold star gay is a term used by the LGBT community to describe a gay man who has never had a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman.^[1]

Notable self-identified gold star gay men

• Bisi Alimi - "I did date three girls...I kissed one...there was one that we were almost going to have sex and I was like, 'Oh my God, I can't stand it'...I've only dreamt of having sex with a man. I have never in my life, ever, consciously or unconsciously, been in a sexual relationship with a woman. Never" ^[2]

• John Barrowman - On an episode of the ITV panel show Celebrity Juice, Barrowman described himself as a "gold star gay", specifying that he has "never had intercourse with a woman."^[3]

• Andy Cohen - In Andy Cohen's memoir "Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries", Cohen revealed that his friends Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos encouraged him to have sex with a woman. Following their advice, Cohen planned to lose his gold-star by arranging a threesome with a married heterosexual couple. During the threesome, Cohen "did things with a girl for the first time in thirty years", events that "shocked" him because he considers himself to be "strictly dickly." However, Cohen still refers to himself as a "gold-star" because "I did not lose my virginity", meaning that he engaged in heterosexual acts other than penile-vaginal intercourse.^[4][5][6]

• Anderson Cooper - In an interview with Andy Cohen and Kelly Ripa, Cooper was asked if he had ever had sex with a woman. Cooper claimed that he had not done anything more with a woman than a kiss.

• Cakes da Killa - "I'm a gold star gay. Gold star gay mean like I never, once I came out of the vag, I never went back. That's gold star."^[7][8]

• Ronnie Kroell - Describing a film sex scene he acted in, Kroell said "I’m a gold star gay—I’ve never had sex with a woman—and this was the closest I got."^[9]

• Andrew Rannells - "I personally have never had sex with a woman. I'm more of what you call gold-star gay. I'm purebred...I feel like I'm in the minority for a lot of gay men. Most of my friends have tried [having sex with a woman] at some point.^[10]

Former or non-gold-star gay men

• Colton Haynes - When asked if he was a gold star by Andy Cohen, Haynes said that he was not a gold star because he has slept with four women. He lost his virginity to a woman while still closeted and slept with three more women after having come out as gay.^[11]

• Sean Hemeon - When asked by DenofGeek.com if he was a gold-star gay, Hemeon responded "No, no...I am not a gold-star gay. I tried very hard to be straight. Very hard. I had girlfriends."^[12]

• Adam Lambert - In an interview with Out Magazine, Lambert stated "I’m curious. There are gay guys that gag and go 'eww' at the thought of having sex with a girl. I’m curious about it because I’ve never done it." He specified that he performed cunnilingus on a woman at age 18 for the first time, but didn't enjoy the experience.^[13] In 2015, Lambert revealed that he had satisfied his curiosity about heterosexual intercourse by losing his gold-star to a female friend: "I have [slept with a woman] before. I did it for the first time when I was 29. It was kind of a random thing, but I was very curious...It felt great. It was a friend of mine and there was tequila involved and a full moon and then suddenly...[Gives a wonderfully dirty chuckle]"^[14]

• Blake Riley - In August, 2008, Riley appeared in the film Shifting Gears: A Bisexual Transmission, a film directed by Chi Chi LaRue wherein multiple gay male pornographic actors have heterosexual sex for the first time. Despite facing criticism from his gay male fanbase, Riley claimed that he enjoyed sex with women and bragged that "I fucked a girl and I liked it" to the tune of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."^[15][16] The film was controversial and lead to the term "straight-for-pay" being coined to describe gay men doing straight porn.^[17]

Other

• Tom Ford - In an interview with Details Magazine, Ford claimed that every gold-star gay man should have sex with a woman at least once. He further stated that many gay men would be surprised to find out they enjoy sleeping with women, if they tried it first: "There’s one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime: If you’re straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you’re gay, don’t go through life without sleeping with a woman. Either way, you might be surprised at how natural it will feel if you can get past the mind-fuck of stereotypes. In the end, it’s just another person that you’re relating to in a physical way."^[18]

Gold stars in popular culture

Blaine Anderson (played by Darren Criss), a fictional character from the American musical comedy-drama television series Glee, is presented as a gold star gay man. In "Diva", the thirteenth episode of the fourth season, Blaine says that he is a "perfect gold star gay" after Tina Cohen-Chang asks him if he has ever slept with a woman.^[19][20]

Writings about gold star homosexuality

In an essay titled "Why I Won’t Fuck A Girl Again", Jezebel.com writer Zack Rosen describes his experience in college of being a non-gold star and having "a lot of pride in not being a gold-star gay". His "ultimate public act of rebellion, oddly enough, was acting straight." He was sexually active with women partly because he was "aggressively, obnoxiously anti-gay-culture" as a closeted gay man and wanted to reject everything "gay guys did", and partly because "It worked as a temporary solution in that my testicles didn't explode" because he "had fun, and it helped me learn what a blowjob was like before my penis grew back into itself from disuse."^[21]

See also

Look up gold star gay in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

• Gold star lesbian
• Virginity

External links

• A Gay Man's Sex With Women
• 6 Reasons We Shouldn’t Say ‘Gold Star Lesbian’ or ‘Platinum Gay’
• It’s Time to Dump “Gold Star” Labels
• NSFW - Steam Room Stores: Are you a Gold Star Gay?

References