The Brand New Testament

The Brand New Testament
Theatrical release poster
Directed by	Jaco Van Dormael
Produced by	Jaco Van Dormael Frank Van Passel
Written by	Jaco Van Dormael Thomas Gunzig
Starring	Benoît Poelvoorde Catherine Deneuve François Damiens Yolande Moreau Pili Groyne
Music by	An Pierlé
Cinematography	Christophe Beaucarne
Edited by	Hervé de Luze
Production company	Terra Incognita Films
Distributed by	Le Pacte
Release dates	17 May 2015 (2015-05-17) (Cannes) 1 September 2015 (2015-09-01) (Belgium)
Running time	113 minutes
Country	Belgium France Luxembourg
Language	French
Budget	€8.7 million[1]
Box office	$14.5 million[2]

The Brand New Testament (French: Le Tout Nouveau Testament) is a 2015 fantasy black comedy film written, produced, and directed by Jaco Van Dormael. It is a co-production between Belgium, France, and Luxembourg. The film was screened at the Directors' Fortnight section at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival.^[3] It was selected as the Belgian entry for the Best Foreign Language Film at the 88th Academy Awards,^[4] making the December shortlist of nine films, but was not nominated.^[5][6] The Brand New Testament received ten nominations at the 6th Magritte Awards, winning four awards, including Best Film and Best Director for Van Dormael.^[7]

Plot

God lives in an apartment in Brussels, which he shares with his meek wife and his 10-year-old daughter Ea, to whom he is emotionally and physically abusive. God is a grumpy sadist who created humankind specifically to have something to torment. He manipulates reality via a personal computer, which he strictly forbids his family from accessing. One day, Ea sneaks into his office and discovers how He has been mistreating humans. This enrages God, who whips Ea with his belt. Ea decides to rebel against her father. She steals the key to His office and accesses the pre-destined dates of death of every human in the world and releases it to the world. Everyone in Brussels receives a text message informing them when they are destined to die. Ea then locks God's computer and escapes the apartment through a chute in the laundry room. Wandering the streets of Brussels, Ea decides to follow in Jesus' footsteps and write the Brand New Testament in order to spiritually uplift the human race. She selects six apostles.

Before finding them, she gets a scribe, a homeless man: Victor. The first apostle is a reclusive woman who lost her left arm in an accident and feels nobody will love her. The second one is a man who hates his work and his life, who has decided to never move from a bench in the park since he knew his date of death; eventually he starts a trip following a bird who asked him why would he stay there if he could go anywhere (with Ea translating for them.)The third apostle is a sexually-frustrated old man who is awkward around women. He is perpetually lovesick over a girl he met once as a boy. On Ea's encouragement, he becomes a voice actor for porn movies, where he coincidentally meets the girl of his youth. They form a relationship which they consummate. The fourth apostle is a man who is fascinated with death. When he learns that everyone's death is pre-destined, he purchases a rifle with plans to shoot pedestrians, believing that he will not really be at fault for their deaths.

Ea prods him to shoot a woman, who happens to be the second apostle. He hits her in her prosthetic arm. Believing this to be a divine signal, he courts the woman and forms a relationship, and learns to embrace life instead of death. The fifth apostle is an elderly woman trapped in a loveless marriage. Ea persuades her to cheat on her husband. She first does so with a male prostitute, then with a gorilla. The gorilla beats up her husband, to her delight. The sixth apostle is a sickly boy who discovers he has only days left to live. Ea encourages him to stop conforming to society and live his few remaining days according to his inner desires. He chooses to dress and act like a girl.

God is horrified when he discovers what Ea has done. With everyone now aware of the time they have left, he can no longer torment humans through their fear of death. Worse still, with His computer locked, He is powerless. He leaves the apartment for the first time in His life through the chute in the laundry room. Because of His rude manners, he is abused by everyone He meets. He discovers to his horror that the chute to his apartment is gone and He is trapped in the outside world, powerless and alone. He is forced to take shelter in a church, and is eventually deported to Uzbekistan after being mistaken for an illegal migrant.

Ea and her apostles go to the seaside, where hundred of people have gathered to spend the last hours of their lives. An airplane, which just so happens to be carrying God under police escort, falls out of the sky, threatening everyone on the beach. At this moment, however, God's wife, who has grown accustomed to life without her husband, accesses God's computer and repeals everyone's destined date of death. The airplane regains altitude and everyone has a new lease on life. The first apostle publishes the Brand New Testament, which becomes a bestseller, lifting him out of poverty. God winds up in Uzbekistan, where he vainly searches washing machines for a passage back to his apartment.

Cast

Reception

The Brand New Testament received acclaim from film critics. At Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 to reviews from mainstream critics, the film received an average score of 80, based on 5 reviews.^[8]

Accolades

See also

• List of submissions to the 88th Academy Awards for Best Foreign Language Film
• List of Belgian submissions for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film

References

External links

• The Brand New Testament at the Internet Movie Database
• The Brand New Testament at Metacritic
• The Brand New Testament at Box Office Mojo