Leave It to Beaver (season 4)

Beaver won't eat his Brussels sprouts and thus jeopardizes his chance to join an upcoming family outing, to a football game featuring two of the best pro teams, including the Green Bay Packers. June is insistent about Beaver finishing his sprouts. She appeals to Ward, who commands, "Eat, Beaver." Eddie suspects their resolve and encourages Beaver: "Hold the fort, kid. They're cracking." Ward compromises and says Beaver can go with the family but must eat his sprouts the next time they're served. At a restaurant, Beaver finds the vegetable du jour is Brussels sprouts. The wait staff and another diner notice Beaver's reluctance, and intervene, creating a scene. Beaver reluctantly puts one in his mouth and Wally slaps him on the back. Beaver suddenly swallows the sprout. He decides Brussels sprouts are not so bad. Later, Ward and June tell Beaver that he, too, will ask his kids to do things they don't want, out of love. But Ward admits that sometimes even parents make mistakes. Beaver is impressed that his father can admit to making a mistake.

Beaver has returned from summer camp, Camp König, heavier, because he's been sharing the treats sent to his new friend, Dryden "Chopper" Cooper. However, Chopper is the victim of his divorced parents' manipulative games: he is shuttled about and the recipient of extravagant gifts as they vie for his affection. When Chopper comes to stay for the weekend, he brings magnificent gifts for the Cleavers, and Beaver envies Chopper's unusual life. Beaver looks hopefully for signs that his parents may be unhappy and themselves get divorced. Until Chopper's mother calls. She has "the weepies" and Chopper is forced to cut short his weekend with Beaver. When Chopper leaves, Beaver realizes he is very lucky to have a stable life and parents who love each another.

While fishing with Wally, Beaver retrieves a drifting canoe and returns it to its owner. At school, the story makes the rounds and is embellished into a tale of rescuing a rich man's daughter in a runaway speedboat. It comes to the attention of Miss Landers, as well as a newspaper offer of $25 for each interesting item sent in, money the class might use. Without Beaver's knowledge, thinking Beaver might be hurt if it is found uninteresting, the class sends the story to the newspaper. Beaver is taken aback to find the misinformation in print and corrects the tale in class. Miss Landers suggests he is a real hero for bravely telling the truth.

Guests: Richard Correll as Richard Rickover, Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney, Burt Mustin as Gus the Fireman, Sue Randall as Miss Landers, Neil Seflinger as Student, Larry Thor as Willard Watson, Jeri Weil as Judy Hensler.

Wally expects to be a lifeguard at Friends Lake but, once on the site, found to be under 18 years old, he is assigned hot dog vending. When his family arrives with Gilbert and Whitey along, Beaver is humiliated with Wally's mundane job and refuses to talk to his brother. Later, Ward tells Beaver he tried to use Wally to make himself a big shot in front of his friends and now is disappointed because it didn't work out. Beaver feels like a heel and begins talking to Wally again.

Beaver hates his freckles, which Lumpy teases him about. Beaver sandpapers his face and comes to the dinner table wearing his mother's make-up. Ward tries to put Beaver's freckles in proper perspective. Later, Beaver talks to befreckled Clyde Appleby who says he likes his freckles because they attract people's notice. Beaver then begins to like his. Ward says one of the great advantages of being a kid is that problems seldom last more than a day.

Beaver sells raffle tickets at $1 apiece and, when he sells a complete book, he gets a free ticket for himself. Beaver wins the raffle's expensive, $3,500 sports car but Ward tells him the car must be sold and the money put in Beaver's bank account. Beaver—who earlier had been told by a snickering Eddie that his father might take away any prizes he won—becomes angry and grows unreasonable, giving Ward the silent treatment. Eventually, Beaver realizes his father is right, the car is sold and Beaver begins talking to his father again.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Burt Mustin as Gus the Fireman, Rusty Stevens as Larry Mondello, Mark Allen as Policeman, Lenore Kingston (credit only).

While doing yard work for his teacher, with Whitey, Beaver is crushed when he learns Miss Landers is engaged to Tom Brittingham. He gets sick and stays in bed. When Miss Landers arrives at the house with his homework assignment and learns the cause of his illness, she explains to him that teachers have as much right as anyone else to fall in love and get married. Beaver understands. Miss Landers assures Beaver he will like her husband.

Guests: Sue Randall Miss Landers, Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney, Jack Powers as Tom Brittingham.

After having to pay a whole 80 cents, including tip, for four sodas and sundaes, at Eddie's behest, Wally overhears Eddie's new girl Caroline telling her friends she can't stand Eddie and is only going with him because her boyfriend is grounded for two weeks. After consulting with Ward, Wally tells Eddie, and Eddie accuses his friend of making up stories to move in on his girl. Ward thinks he gave bad advice. Eddie later tells Beaver he realized Wally was telling the truth but didn't like his best friend knowing other people thought he as a creep. Beaver thinks the two should make up and be friends again. Beaver doesn't understand how girls can be considered such rats, but then remembers the story of Samson and Delilah from Sunday school.

Beaver has a very poor attitude toward doing homework. Beaver learns from Mrs. Rayburn, subbing for Miss Landers, that the class is to be given an intelligence test. June thinks that the modern intelligence test can tell so much. Beaver says girls are lucky; they can be dumb but still get married. June says girls want to, and can be, doctors and lawyers, too. Then Beaver thinks he may fail the test and studies the encyclopedia. Ward tells him one can't study for an intelligence test. After the test, Beaver just has to tell Mrs. Rayburn that the Nile is 4,150 miles long. Later, Ward and June learn Beaver placed in the top ten. Beaver now thinks he doesn't have to study but Ward says the test is only a measure of potential and he must continue do his homework. Beaver glumly accepts his fate.

June sets up a date between Wally and the daughter of an old best friend who's in town, Kitty Bannerman. Wally is nervous and pretends to have a prior engagement. Beaver learns that Wally and Kitty exchanged a series of letters at summer camp. In his letters, in spite of their parents having been best friends, Wally created an exotic life for himself, including non-existent car ownership. Now, if he goes to the dance, Kitty will learn the truth. When Wally's ruse is discovered, Ward angrily insists that Wally will escort Kitty to the dance and have fun, and Ward will drive. When Wally picks Kitty up, Kitty confesses to Wally that she also created a fanciful life in her letters. Wally then confesses his fancies. With the truth out in the open, both feel they are going to have a nice date. When Kitty hears the car, she asks if one of Wally's friends is driving. Wally says he doesn't normally think of it that way, but yeah.

Mrs. Murdock asks Wally to take her son Chuckie to buy new shoes; but Eddie wants Wally to go ice-skating with him at the new rink just opening, else Mary Ellen Rogers, and the other dolls, won't talk to him. So, Beaver volunteers for the job. At the department store, Chuckie becomes difficult, throws a tantrum and, when Beaver steps aside to pay for the shoes, wanders off. The boy meets a salesman who knows him and is taken home. When Beaver can't find Chuckie, he calls his father and tells him he's not coming home because he's lost "a whole kid." Ward assures him Chuckie is home safe. As Ward and June head out the door to pick Beaver up, Eddie is at the door, and they're overtly rude to him. Later, they apologize for being abrupt. Eddie says he tries to "make allowances" for people, and Ward and June think they've just been insulted.

Kenneth is a lonely boy at school who steals things. He gives Beaver a few of the stolen items in order to make friends with him. June learns of the various thefts from Miss Landers, and, while housecleaning, finds the stolen items in Beaver's room. Beaver is unaware the items are stolen. Kenneth confesses to Miss Landers. She assures him he doesn't need to steal to make friends.

Beaver is sent an impressive-looking offer for a free accordion tryout, which his parents throw away. Beaver finds the diploma-like offer when he's paid to empty the trash. Eddie, holding out a vision of playing it professionally, in a white velvet shirt, emulating Fabian and making good money, convinces him to send away for it in secret. Beaver orders the accordion through the mail for the trial period without his parents' knowledge. He intends to return it but the postage is too expensive. He puts it in a closet and forgets about it. A representative of the accordion company arrives. While Ward scoffs at the man's assertions of their having an accordion, June opens the closet. The accordion bounces noisily down the stairs and is damaged. Ward promises to help Beaver pay for the damage, because he knows how easy it is for a boy to be enticed with offers received in the mail.

Ward's uncle Billy arrives for a visit, leaving a grand looking car parked outside. Billy tells tales and promises the boys all sorts of goodies, including buying Beaver a good fishing pole and reel. Beaver goes to the sporting goods store to help pick out the equipment, but Uncle Billy never shows. Wally, alerted to Uncle Billy's lack of veracity and told to find his missing brother, tries to clue Beaver in; but Beaver won't hear of Billy's not being a man of his word. Beaver storms out, goes to Billy's hotel, and finds him in the barber shop. The barber and manicurist are rolling their eyes over Billy's tales and Beaver is embarrassed. Ward wants to lecture Billy on how his tales and promises hurt people but Beaver asks him not to "holler" at Billy. Beaver knows from experience that people sometimes make up tales to impress others.

Wally is spending a suspicious amount of time bathing and making himself smell good. The Cleavers, out shopping, spot Wally in the park with classmate Julie Foster, the daughter of a Mayfield High English teacher. When Wally gets Mr. Foster for English at the start of new semester, Eddie congratulates him on being a real operator, thinking he did it all to help his grade. Wally sees Mr. Foster about transferring to another class, but is reassured that Julie's affections will have no bearing on his grade. Ward wants Wally to date others besides Julie, so Wally abruptly breaks up with Julie and later finds Lumpy strolling with her. Wally—listening to Eddie and now sure "the hatchet" will come out, that he will fail the next English test, and Lumpy get a good grade—sees Mr. Foster, who tells him to tell Mr. Haskell to mind his own business. He also tells Wally not to care so much about what others think, which is advice Wally says he has heard before, from his father. When tests are graded and returned, Wally has an 'A-' and Lumpy an 'F'.

Beaver thinks Ward is worried about money. Beaver wants his father to become a millionaire and buys him a book, How to Become a Millionaire in Twelve Months, on the subject, instead of a new "Red River Sam" cowboy adventure novel. Ward says the book will have an honored place on his shelf; but, in a moment of distraction, June puts the book in the kitchen cookie drawer where Beaver discovers it "all crumbed up". He's hurt and hides up a tree. Ward explains he only said that he'd place the book on his shelf because he didn't want to hurt Beaver's feelings. Beaver admits he didn't really think his father would become a millionaire. Wally explains that such books sell because adults imagine themselves as millionaires, as Beaver imagines himself as Red River Sam. Beaver says he didn't realize that grownups can be as goofy as kids. Wally says to not say anything about that at dinner.

Beaver wants to be a writer when he grows up and Ward suggests he keep a journal. So, his parents give him a diary. Beaver records his daily activities in his journal, then begins to elaborate in fanciful ways. When Beaver doesn't come home for supper, Ward and June read his journal looking for clues to his whereabouts. They are shocked and concerned about Beaver's adventures. Beaver later admits they are just stories, and Ward says he was too quick to believe them.

Wally is suspended from the track team after a towel fight in the locker room, initiated by Eddie and Lumpy. Ward and June are concerned. Beaver knows the truth about the fight and asks Lumpy to confess because the team will lose the upcoming track meet without Wally. Lumpy confesses; but, rather than reinstating Wally, the coach suspends Eddie and Lumpy. Wally has learned a hard lesson.

Beaver is excited about having an old friend named Jackie Waters stay for the weekend and plans activities around all the things they once enjoyed doing. However, the boys find they have little in common any longer and grow bored with each other's company. Jackie decides to end the visit and calls his parents to pick him up. Ward consoles Beaver over his disappointment and tells him everyone goes through such an experience.

Wally says Beaver has spent a restless night, but he couldn't tell whether Beaver was groaning or singing the theme from Wyatt Earp. June determines that Beaver is sick and his tonsils inflamed. The doctor visits and the possibility of surgery is raised. Richard manages to frighten Beaver, when he delivers his homework, telling of tonsils being "yanked out", mimicking a noisy apparatus used when he saw Paladin perform an operation, and looking appalled at the sight of Beaver's throat. When June tells of Beaver's change of mood, Ward boosts his morale with stories of his own operation, telling of the attention and ice cream he'd received. Beaver now looks forward to the operation and arranges with friends to visit and bring gifts. But the doctor then decides Beaver's tonsils should remain where they are. Beaver is crestfallen over the turn of events, but his parents buy him a telescope to assuage his disappointment.

Eddie tries to put the best face on his seeking employment to pay for his father's electric razor he dropped while trying to carve a blaze on a suede jacket with it. The pet store where Eddie becomes employed holds a fish-counting contest; a pedigree Collie puppy, years shy of rescuing people on TV, is the grand prize. Gilbert and Beaver try to count the fish after school, but it is very difficult to keep track. When Eddie stops by and makes it clear he's in the know, Gilbert thinks they should get Eddie to tell Wally the number while they just listen. Beaver thinks that wrong and goes to Ward, hoping Ward's conscience has a better idea. But Ward says cheating is wrong and just entering the contest can be accomplishment enough. Lumpy does learn the number of fish from Eddie, tells a girl he's trying to impress, and it "gets away from him". The pet store owner is then confronted by a crowd of children who all have the correct count. He fires Eddie. Beaver wins a "constellation" prize—a pair of goldfish. Beaver wonders why fish don't drown. Wally says usually they have gills, except whales, who lost their hands and feet going back into the water two million years ago. Beaver will remember that the next time he's told to take a bath.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Frank Bank as Lumpy Rutherford, Stephen Talbot as Gilbert Bates, Jess Kirkpatrick (as Jesse Kirkpatrick) as Mr. Parker, Karen Sue Trent as Penny Woods, Carol Wakefield as Cathy Maddox, Jennie Lynn as Sally Ann Maddox.

Beaver finds an old sketchbook of Ward's in the attic. The work is impressive, and June says Ward could have been a professional artist. At school, students are asked to volunteer to make visual displays relating to the Colonial Period. Beaver volunteers to supply one of three posters, the best to win a prize, knowing that his father will do a great job. After Ward says fathers would do almost anything for their families, he refuses to do the poster, other than to offer encouragement and to suggest Paul Revere as a theme. Beaver's own attempt at creating a poster is disastrous, with almost as much paint winding up on his shirt, and with Revere on horseback looking like a "guy rasslin' a pig"; but he enters his work at school anyway. Miss Landers suggests the posters be judged on their originality; and, because Penny and Gilbert admit to having had plenty of help, Beaver's poster easily wins. He gives the prize to Ward for not helping him.

June calls housekeeper Mrs. Manners for help. Mrs. Manners is busy with other clients and sends her daughter, Margie. Wally becomes smitten and hangs around the kitchen every day to help Margie. June is concerned with Wally's infatuation and calls Mrs. Manners to straighten things out. When Wally comes home from school one day and heads to the kitchen to help Margie, he finds Mrs. Manners instead.

Wally has just become a "three-letter" man, and the family encourages Beaver to become more involved in extra-curricular activities at school. Beaver decides to try out for the Dramatic Club, although his previous acting experience was as a tree in kindergarten. Gilbert fails the audition by giggling through "Incident of the French Camp", but Richard does ventriloquism, Vickie recites "Foreign Children", Harry "Casey at the Bat", and Penny—a budding Shirley Temple—sings an adaptation of "Buffalo Gals". So, Beaver, reciting "Concord Hymn" against such stiff competition, is thrilled when he's cast as the lead in the play, "The Little Dutch Boy". Reading the script, he then discovers to his horror he must kiss a girl onstage. He refuses to participate and locks himself in the bathroom. At school, Vickie, the girl in the play, says she is repulsed with the idea of kissing him. They agree to do the kiss because the show must go on. Beaver will pretend he's kissing Uncle Billy. After the performance, Beaver says he'll never enjoy kissing girls as much as Wally does.

June's dear friend Ruth and her husband have moved into the neighborhood, and June volunteers Wally to accompany Ruth's son Dudley to school and show him around. Dudley shows up way overdressed and way too polite. Ward, who has misgivings about the arrangement, suggests that at least the funereal, brimmed hat be left behind, but June won't hear of it. Wally tries to steer them away from the danger of encountering Eddie and Lumpy, but Dudley is not to be clued in so easily. Eddie gets Dudley invited to a party, where Eddie and Lumpy plan to embarrass him. The two boys don't know that Dudley has a hidden talent that will help him break the ice with new friends. When the hi-fi fails, Dudley becomes the center of attention of an appreciative crowd with his expert piano playing.

Wally owes Eddie a sleepover, so Eddie is to spend the weekend at the Cleavers. A fight between Eddie and Wally, over accusations of cheating at chess, may do more than just end the stayover. It might expose some of Eddie's well-hidden personal secrets. Eddie leaves abruptly saying the boys were mean to him. Ward learns Eddie's parents are out of town and Eddie is "edgy" when having to stay home alone. They find Eddie at home with all the lights on and persuade him to return to the house. Eddie, in appreciation of being invited back, volunteers to help with the dishes and actually does much of the work. Later, he admits to Beaver the difficulty of being a bigshot when you're by yourself.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, John Alvin as Frank Haskell.

Beaver is having trouble with dividing fractions in arithmetic, his worst subject, especially when there's "a lot of junk left over". When report cards are passed out Beaver has had to leave school early for the dentist. So, Gilbert delivers Beaver's report card to Lumpy and Eddie, who are visiting the Cleaver house, while Wally showers. Eddie changes Beaver's 'D minus' in math to 'B plus'. Later, Ward and June discover the card and are thrilled with the mark. Ward buys Beaver a new aircraft model he's wanted. June learns from Miss Landers Beaver actually received a 'D minus'. Beaver denies tampering with his report card, but his parents are disbelieving. Wally suspects what has happened and goes to see Eddie, who phones Ward with the truth. Ward promises to ban Eddie from the Cleaver house if he ever does something like that again.

Ward has just been invited on a committee to oversee a youth center. So, when Beaver's friend Richard breaks a window at an abandoned house and gives Beaver's name as an alias to the police, it's liable to be particularly embarrassing. In the evening, Ward thinks the courtesy call from a police lieutenant who is also on the committee, and the arresting officer, involves the committee's work and is astonished to learn they are there in response to his son's breaking the law. Beaver is called down, excited at meeting the police, and the arresting officer realizes he's not the boy involved in the incident. The truth is discovered and Richard escapes a break in his friendship with Beaver by apologizing at the first opportunity.

The popular new girl at school, Ginny Townsend, recently arrived from Indianapolis, has Wally dreaming about romance, including being found by June dreamily listening to opera love themes on the hi-fi. Wally is too shy to ask her out so June calls her mother and invites the girl to a picnic at Friend's Lake. On the outing, Wally discovers his dream girl is allergic to chicken and breaks out in lumps in the sunshine. Later, June apologizes for meddling but Wally is glad she did and thanks her. He doesn't want a dream girl with lumps.

Through a series of delays, Beaver's class is the last to be photographed for the yearbook. Beaver and Gilbert agree to make funny faces when their picture is taken. When the photo is snapped, Beaver makes a face but Gilbert doesn't, ruining the picture. The photographer doesn't notice, so when Mrs. Rayburn spots Beaver face in the photographer's proofs it's too late to re-shoot. She calls Ward to come to the school. At home, Ward disciplines Beaver for his disrespectful act. When the yearbook is published, Beaver discovers the photographer has airbrushed the photo and he's hidden behind a classmate's large hair ribbon.

Beaver keeps getting bum deals whenever he makes trades with friends and his latest has given him a pet rat, for which he has paid fifty cents. He then sells the rat to Violet Rutherford for three dollars. Fred visits Ward and tells him Beaver pulled a fast one on his daughter. Beaver returns the three dollars and regains the rat. Fred later offers five dollars for the rat because his wife had grown fond him. Beaver accepts only his original fifty cent investment and asks his father why Mr. Rutherford would make such an offer. Ward says we're never too old to do "goofy stuff".

Beaver and Whitey see a big billboard of a woman holding a cup of soup. A billboard in the neighborhood displays a picture of a woman holding a three-dimensional cup of steaming Zesto Soup. Whitey urges Beaver to climb up to the cup to discover how the steam is produced. Beaver falls into the cup and can't get out. Whitey hurries home. Curious onlookers gather with Wally and his friends among them. Eventually the fire department arrives to rescue Beaver.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Frank Bank as Lumpy Rutherford, Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney, Harry Holcombe as Frank Whitney, Lenore Kingston as Mrs. Whitney, Jack Mann as Fireman, Jimmy Gaines as Little Boy.

June plans to go collecting for the Community Chest but there is a conflict with an open house at Wally's school she must attend. Beaver volunteers to collect. June doubts he can do it, but Ward thinks it'll be good experience. Beaver takes Gilbert along for support. After a rocky start, they do well and sit licking ice cream cones on a bench outside the drugstore, when the collection can falls out of Beaver's pocket, only noticed later when Gilbert asks why Beaver has stopped "jingling" while they walk home. At home, Ward says he will replace the money if Beaver goes to every house he visited and records the exact donations made. People gladly contribute again when they realize Beaver lost the original donations. In the meantime, the collection can has been found and returned. Ward tells Beaver people should be given the chance to return the second collections because they gave only after hearing about his loss. Ward then decides he will make the calls, by phone, because he can't ask his son to do what he himself is unwilling to.

Miss Landers announces a fire prevention project that includes electing a class junior fire chief. Everyone seems to be in the running for the position except Beaver, who doesn't like being a big shot. When Beaver's family encourages him to run, his class elects him. Then Beaver plays the role to the hilt, citing his family and neighbors for various violations. He brags to Gus about writing citations and yelling at people. Gus advises him that more is accomplished by being nice to others. Beaver realizes the truth of Gus' words and reports to the class that he has torn up the citations he gave. Beaver has learned a lesson and Miss Landers is proud of the junior fire chief.

Beaver wants to buy a used canoe for $25, when new ones cost $200. Ward says he'll pay one half if Beaver can earn the other half, thinking that's nearly impossible, not really wanting Beaver to have the canoe. So, Beaver needs money. The want-ads aren't much help and Beaver thinks child labor laws keep kids from doing a lot of neat stuff. But Richard, for a ride in the canoe, tells Beaver he knows a man who buys live frogs for 25 cents apiece. Beaver, with Wally, collects lots of frogs at Miller's Pond, keeps them at home, and winds up with enough for his half of the canoe. Then Richard says the frogs will be killed and used in experiments. Beaver has grown fond of his frogs and returns them to the pond. Later, Ward tells Beaver he can earn money by waxing his car but Beaver knows the car doesn't need polishing. He appreciates his father's kindness.

Beaver and Gilbert start a lawn mowing business, but the first neighbors they ask have ongoing arrangements for getting their lawns done. Eddie, giving the boys "the business", suggests they mow lawns then ask for payment. Beaver and Gilbert clumsily mow a lawn without permission and the homeowner becomes angry. Gilbert quits; he plans to get a newspaper route and have his father deliver the papers. Beaver is encouraged at home by the story of Robert the Bruce and the spider. Beaver then finds a woman whose husband is away, mows her lawn, and gets a five dollar check that bounces. Beaver thought she was a nice lady and his faith in adults is sorely tried. Ward says you must trust people and you must also trust your judgment of people. Ward calls the homeowner, who made a mistake, apologizes, and reimburses Beaver with cash. Beaver's faith is restored, while Wally checks the $5 bill for signs of counterfeiting.

Ward and Beaver build an elaborate kite kit for a special father-and-son event. They are up against knowledgeable competition, as Gilbert boasts his dad is an electrical engineer, and Richard that his father flew a P-38 fighter in the war. However, Beaver, this time, is in it to win. After the kite is built, Gilbert persuades Beaver to give it a trial flight. The kite crashes and is ruined. Beaver hides the kite and hopes the event will be cancelled, going so far as to ask a reputed Indian to teach him a rain dance. Ward finds out, however, and chastises Beaver for his carelessness. Beaver and his father could attend the event with what they have; but Beaver doesn't want that, because every kid wants his father to be the greatest. They buy another, ready-made kite, attend the event, and bring home a prize ribbon.

Guests: Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney, Richard Correll as Richard Rickover, Stephen Talbot as Gilbert Bates, Jason Robards Sr. as Mr. Henderson, Keith Taylor as Harry.

Beaver has purchased a wheel-less coaster car from Eddie, who had meant to turn it into an ice boat until his father ran over it, perhaps intentionally. Beaver takes Penny Woods up on her standing offer of the wheels from her old doll buggy. Beaver pushes the buggy through the streets of Mayfield, feeling self-conscious, as people stare at such a strange sight and make sarcastic remarks. He takes a more roundabout route. When he's missed, calls are made. The Cleavers find out Beaver's pushing a doll buggy, and they worry for his safety. Beaver spots Richard and Gilbert heading his way, and he shoves the buggy into a weedy ditch. Gilbert finds it and claims the wheels for his own cart. Beaver doesn't have the nerve to tell him the wheels are his. Ward buys Beaver the wheels he needs. Beaver finds it hard to be too nasty to Penny. Eddie reveals that his similar experience was being sent to school with a perm, which is why he likes making other people look like goons first.

Ward is getting a taxi to the airport for a trip to St. Louis, wearing an overcoat and hat. On the doorstep Ward leaves Wally as the man of the house. Wally takes being man of the house seriously while Ward is away, telling a shocked Beaver to, "clean out your ears, you little pig". At school, Gilbert boasts of an important hat-wearing trips his father took. As they leave, Beaver is tripped by another kid and falls. He gets up and calls the kid a name that is drowned out by the school bell. However, Miss Landers hears it and is truly shocked at Beaver's language. Beaver stays after school and is sent home with a note. Beaver doesn't want to repeat the word to his mother so Wally goes to the school in Ward's stead. Miss Landers accepts Wally as Beaver's substitute father, after Wally tells how he got Beaver to behave in church. Beaver promises never to use bad words again. At home, Beaver thanks Wally for being a good brother and a good father. June, told what happened, as long as she didn't ask about what was really said, tells Ward to bring home something special for Wally, "let's just say for carving the roast beef so well".