Leave It to Beaver (season 3)

Wally is appointed chairman of the blind-date committee for an upcoming school dance. He's unable to find a date for Jill Bartlett and is forced to escort her himself. Ward says he was in a similar situation as a boy and paid his friends to dance with his date. Wally tries the same ruse with Jill, and, though she is aware of what Wally is doing, plays along and has a good time. Later, she says she thinks Wally's one of the nicest boys she's ever met.

Guests: Rusty Stevens as Larry Mondello, Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Tommy Ivo as Duke Hathaway, Beverly Washburn as Jill Bartlett.

Ward and June go to an overnight company function in Freeport. When the sitter cancels, Wally is left in charge; and he becomes bossy. Wally tells Beaver to bathe, so Beaver starts to fill the bath and dawdles. Wally tells Beaver to come to supper. Beaver forgets the bath, and runs downstairs. Later, the boys notice water leaking from the kitchen ceiling and mop up, drying the ceiling with a hairdrier, and agreeing not to tell their parents. The next day, a portion of the kitchen ceiling falls to the floor. Ward blames shoddy workmanship; the boys remain silent. Later, Ward gives Wally the payment that the sitter would have received. Wally decides he must tell his father the truth. Ward and June are glad they learned they have such nice boys.

Miss Landers tells the class that the school-bus service is being extended. The Cleavers' neighborhood is included. After riding the school bus for a week, arriving at the bus stop with increasing tardiness in the morning, Beaver is suspended for fighting. Ward doesn't want to have to drive him, so Beaver delivers a fulsome letter of apology, written with Wally's help, to the driver's house and rides the bus. Judy is suspended, comes to Beaver's house, and asks Beaver how he got himself reinstated. Beaver gives her a draft copy of his letter and Judy is soon riding the bus again. When Wally asks him why he helped the meanest girl in school, Beaver tells him that he'll have something nice to look back on whenever she turns mean, which is soon.

Beaver is grounded for leaving the cap off the ink bottle, causing Ward to spill ink all over his papers. After the rest of the Cleavers go out, Larry talks Beaver into sneaking off to the movies. A drawing is held at the movies and Beaver wins a bicycle. He can't take it home without betraying his disobedience to his father so Larry offers to take it home for a day. Mrs. Mondello calls Ward when she finds the bicycle and Larry discloses the truth. Later, Beaver realizes he cannot keep the bike and donates it to a church. Beaver thinks winning the bicycle was God's way of making children do everything they're told. Larry doesn't think that's right, because kids are told to do so much.

Miss Landers asks her students to bring in a baby picture for a "Most Beautiful Baby" contest. Without telling Beaver, June mails a photo of infant Beaver naked on a rug to Miss Landers, to meet the contest deadline. Beaver is embarrassed when Wally shows him a copy of what was sent; but his mother thinks the photo cute. Beaver doesn't want to hurt her. Instead, Beaver gets to school early and requests the return of the photo from Miss Landers, who gives it to him without looking at it. Later, Ward cuts the photo down to just a headshot. Beaver submits the photo and later tells his family he lost the contest. Beaver is glad that his father knows what it was like to be a kid.

Ward keeps June from throwing out his old pedometer and wants to give it to the boys. Wally's being driven everywhere and isn't interested. To gain interest, Ward says he walked twenty miles a day at their age; and Beaver gets the pedometer. At school, egged on by Larry, Beaver bets a contemptuously disbelieving Whitey his new fielder's mitt that he can walk twenty miles a day, too. At dinnertime, however, after much roundabout walking, he discovers he's only walked three miles. He surrenders his baseball glove to a gloating Whitey. Beaver is furious at losing the mitt and fears his father's wrath. Ward is understanding and tells Beaver he exaggerated the distance he walked in order to share his enthusiasm for the pedometer. Ward buys Beaver another baseball glove and stops himself in telling a grandiose story of his own baseball days. Beaver says not to stop telling about such "neat stuff" even if Ward does "exaggerate things up".

Wally arranges for Beaver to ride on the team bus to a track meet, but Beaver, who didn't ask for the favor, has made a previous date with Larry. In the aftermath, Wally threatens to never do any favors for Beaver again. Later, Beaver and Larry take the planned jaunt to Friends Lake, where two older boys give them a stolen rowboat and flee. The police arrive and Beaver's story about the two older boys is given little credence. When Beaver is unable to get a hold of Ward or June, he tearfully turns to Wally. At the police station, Wally names the two older boys based upon Beaver's description. Later, the police call Wally with the news that the guilty boys were taken into custody, and Beaver and Larry are cleared of charges. Ward and June are sitting right there and want an explanation. Ward goes easy on the boys since they were able to use the situation to patch up their differences.

Beaver's class takes turns reciting a poem about tree planting so ineptly that Miss Landers reads the poem with feeling. Beaver starts to miss a tree he was given, and which remains planted at the Mapleton Drive house. He takes Larry with him to the old house (now owned by Mr. Benner); and they dig up the tree, while Mr Benner's away, and cart it off. Neighbors see the boys, and Ward gets a call. Ward and June find Wally and Beaver sneaking the tree across the yard and send the boys to their room. Later, Beaver tells his parents the tree was a friend he loves. June and Ward understand Beaver's feelings and straighten things out with Mr. Benner. At school, Beaver recites the poem with feeling.

Guests: Rusty Stevens as Larry Mondello, Sue Randall as Miss Landers, Jeri Weil as Judy Hensler, Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney.

Beaver waxes rhapsodic about Miss Landers, so June invites her to dinner on the patio. Beaver is uneasy about the invitation. At school, he reluctantly tells Larry, who immediately blabs. At home, Beaver is almost hysterical at the prospect of something going wrong. During the course of dinner, Beaver spots Larry, Whitey, and Gilbert watching the event from a tree. When June, Ward, and Wally clear the table and enter the house, Miss Landers orders the boys to descend. She realizes children don't understand teachers are real like everyone else and believes their embarrassment is punishment enough. Ward invites the boys for dessert. Wally says Miss Landers is a teacher who can punish you by being nice.

A fifth-grader named Sonny Cortwright gets into a shoving match with Larry at school. Later, when Larry and Beaver get their fortunes told by a fortune teller machine, Beaver's fortune predicts, "Today is your lucky day." Then the two run into Sonny on his way to a music lesson, Larry challenges the older boy to fight, and then passes the buck to Beaver, figuring it's Beaver's lucky day and he can't lose. The fight is delayed because of Sonny's lesson. Beaver has time to ask his brother and father about the role of luck, and is told it doesn't figure much in fighting. As the hour of the bout approaches, Beaver is at the designated site but Sonny never appears. At home, Beaver admits to his father he was afraid. Ward says fear is not a bad emotion; it's a form of common sense and keeps us from doing foolish things.

Ward loans Beaver a dollar to buy a twenty-five-cent notebook and expects seventy-five cents returned. Larry needs twenty-five cents for his notebook, which Beaver lends; but Larry, offering to get both their supplies, has to use the remainder to settle an old debt at the school store. When Beaver wants movie money, Ward tells him to settle up with Larry. Larry starts over to pay Beaver back but is derailed by Gilbert and Whitey into going to the movies and, later, having sodas. Beaver finds Larry at the drug store and vows never to speak to him again. Larry is hurt and overcome with remorse. When Larry threatens to join the Foreign Legion over the heartbreak, Beaver is touched and the two become friends again.

Beaver and Larry are in a magic shop, but everything's so expensive that Beaver winds up with a 15-cent coin disappearing box. At home, Beaver receives a lukewarm response to this well-known magic act but finds the perfect audience in a gullible kid named Bengie Bellamy. Later, little Bengie thinks Larry has transformed Beaver into a rock; he picks it up and takes it home in his wagon. Finding Bengie sleeping with the rock, his mother takes him to the Cleaver house to prove Beaver is well. Beaver however has gone to Aunt Martha's house for the weekend. Benjie is incorrigible in his belief, and Beaver must be brought home early from his visit to allay Bengie's fears. Beaver tells Bengie that some fears are real.

Beaver buys a gaudy blouse for his mother's birthday gift. June is stunned but, being sweet, she tells Beaver it's beautiful. He persuades her to wear it to the Mothers' Club tea. At the tea, Beaver is hurt to find his mother is not wearing the blouse. She explains she was wrong to not wear it after she said she would, but she also tells him it is sometimes impossible to be honest without hurting another's feelings. Beaver forgives her.

After Beaver and Wally give up trying to build a chinchilla cage, as a moneymaking woodworking project in the garage, they are slow to clean it up, earning Ward's wrath. Beaver discovers a nail, stuck through a block of wood, in Ward's tire. When Beaver pulls it out, the tire goes flat. Eddie tells them to take the tire to the garage, have it repaired, and put it back. The boys do so, rolling the tire through Mayfield, spotted but not quite recognized from Ward's office. Later, Ward learns about the tire repair from Eddie's indiscretion. The boys tell him they didn't want to be thought stupid so they thought it best to take care of it themselves. Beaver remembers being called a "boob" once and thinks that a slap is something easier to forget. Ward tries to be more careful in how he denounces his boys.

Beaver is at Larry's house and they look through Larry's sister's room, including reading her diary. Mrs. Mondello finds them, is very cross, sends Beaver home and Larry to his room. Larry, feeling especially humiliated at being scolded in front of his friend, runs away, at first thinking to go to Mexico but settling on Beaver's house. Beaver and Wally stow Larry in their bathtub and keep mum. Beaver brings him food. Meanwhile, Mrs. Mondello arrives. Larry is discovered and told he has caused his mother much anxiety. After the Mondellos leave, Wally and Beaver are punished with weed pulling. They agree that telling their father about Larry's presence in the house would have been the wisest thing to do, but it was hard to realize that at the time.

Beaver and Larry walk past a pet store with a 40-year-old parrot that talks and can sing a song from World War I. Beaver's class is having a "Pet Fair"; and Beaver, having been scolded for his lack of success with previous pets, but embarrassed in the face of the other kids' telling of their pets, reports that he will bring his pet parrot. Ward, knowing of the fair and relenting in his earlier attitude, buys a hamster; but that just infuriates Beaver. Wally tells Ward about Beaver's lie to the class and Ward decides there's nothing he should do but let Beaver face up to it. However, after talking with June, who was crushed by having to publicly recant in her youth, Ward manages to rent the pet store parrot for the school fair. Beaver's pet is voted first prize at the fair, but then Beaver tells Miss Landers the truth about the parrot.

Ward knows that Wally has a midterm test in history, his weakest subject, so Wally won't be going to Mary Ellen Rogers' with Eddie and Lumpy. Wally studies World War I; but Eddie and Lumpy have "it made", a plan to cheat by hiding the answers in the paper towel dispenser in the school restroom. As the test begins, Wally spills ink and has to wash his hands, finding a mysterious note, "To thine own self be true". Later, Eddie can't find the answer sheet in the towel dispenser, because the teacher found it earlier in the day, leaving the note as a warning. The results of the test are posted: Eddie and Lumpy have done poorly; Wally has done well. In an anonymous letter to the teacher, Eddie accuses Wally of using the missing answer sheet to get a good grade on the test. The teacher assures Wally that he knows he didn't cheat and that Eddie was the culprit who planted the answer sheet. A reformed Eddie apologizes to Wally; and studies, later startling the teacher with his knowledge of the League of Nations.

Allowed to read "any book" for a school book report, Beaver randomly chooses Prescott's The Conquest of Mexico; but Ward thinks that beyond him and suggests Treasure Island, loaning Beaver his own library card. Beaver and Larry go to the library, and a conspicuously forgetful Beaver takes out the book. When Wally reads Beaver's truncated report, Beaver confesses to having lost the book. Overdue notices pile up; Eddie finds them and tells Beaver his father could go to jail. Beaver goes to the library to keep his father out of the slammer. The head librarian tells Beaver he must replace the book and suggests he speak to his father, but dismisses the idea of jail as the product of a guilty conscience. Beaver presents his father with a formal apology. Ward tells Beaver he shouldn't expect to go through life doing things wrong and then hoping things will turn out right, and that lies will always be found out. The book is later found in Larry's locker smelling of a baloney sandwich.

Eddie nominates Wally for class president. Wally, initially reluctant, gets a pep talk from his father. Wally then aggressively pursues the position. His friends and classmates become annoyed with his hand-shaking and back-slapping campaign style. Wally loses the election. Ward apologizes to him for the advice-giving and tells him parents sometimes "go off the deep end" when they get older and live through their children.

Ward's old acquaintance Andy, the handyman, is an alcoholic, and Ward and June decide not to tell the boys. Andy tells Beaver he feels shaky and needs a drink. He talks Beaver into giving him Ward's Christmas brandy. Andy becomes drunk and is driven home by Ward. Later, Andy apologizes. Beaver admits his part in the incident to his parents. Ward and June blame themselves for trying to shield the boys from the uglier aspects of life.

Beaver and Larry are forced to attend a grotesque dancing school, and they play hooky. They munch baloney sandwiches, hide out by a barn, and meet a young cowgirl who offers them a ride on her horse. At home, the family thinks Beaver smells "horsey". He confesses and says dance class is an awful experience for him. Ward tells him his parents will ask him to do a lot of things he won't want to do; but, in the years to come, he'll be grateful they asked him.

Beaver joins a secret club, "The Bloody Five". The club doesn't want to admit Larry, who is so offended he shows up at Beaver's house in the costume of his own club, "The Fiends". Beaver leaves his club to join Larry's and is furious when he discovers Larry is the only member. Ward is unhappy that Beaver would join an exclusive club and tells him the worst reason to form a club is to keep people out.

Wally has loaned his school sweater to Frances Hobbs at a basketball game. June and Ward become concerned about the very expensive, nineteen-dollar sweater, when it's not available to wear on a rainy day. At school, Wally sees Frances wearing it but is shy about asking for it back. Frances is winsome about not giving it back. Later, at the drug store, Ward and June see Frances wearing the sweater and bragging to her friends she has Wally tied around her finger and following her around. When Wally finds out, he goes to her house, demands the sweater back and tells her to watch what she says about him. Ward says Wally has learned a valuable lesson, "Women never want a sweater just because they're cold."

After seeing a movie, Beaver begins experimenting with hypnotism, but he can't seem to hypnotize anyone with his magic "omelet". Then Eddie tricks Beaver into thinking he has been hypnotized by him and walks about mindlessly intoning, "Slave kill for master, slave steal for master." Wally tells Beaver that Eddie is only giving him the business, but Beaver is concerned he is responsible for Eddie's behavior and has nightmares. This makes Wally furious. When Wally confronts Eddie, Eddie flees and falls in the mud, ending his trance for good.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Rusty Stevens as Larry Mondello.

Wally draws Alma Hanson's name for a forthcoming school picnic. Ward and June insist on Wally's getting in touch early, because "politeness never goes out of style." Then, Alma's mother organizes several dates with Wally for her daughter. Ward wants Wally to date others, but Wally doesn't want to hurt Alma's feelings. Ward suggests that Wally introduce his friends, to get Alma interested in someone else. When Beaver indiscreetly reveals the plot, June is irked. Finally, a snooty Mrs. Hanson, with her feckless husband, appears at the Cleaver house and says Wally spends too much time with her daughter. She asks the Cleavers to hold Wally back so Alma can date others. Ward smiles. Beaver says a girl having her mother pick her boyfriends is like a boy having his mother buy his clothes.

Guests: Frank Bank as Lumpy Rutherford, Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Carol Sydes as Alma Hanson, Barry Curtis as Harry Myers, Jean Vander Pyl as Mrs. Hanson, Rod Bell as Mr. Alfred Hanson.

With his parents' reluctant permission, Beaver rides his bike to school. On the way home, outside the drugstore, Beaver lets a strange, but ingratiating, boy try his new bike. Larry suggests that the boy give it a real tryout, and the boy never returns. When Beaver comes home after dark, Ward heatedly condemns Beaver's irresponsibility, while Beaver says he delayed coming home because he hoped he would die first. Ward then realizes he forgot to insure the bike and, later, when a policeman visits, that he had neglected to have it registered. The police recover the bike in poor condition a few days later. Beaver wishes the thief had been captured and punished. Ward assures Beaver that the boy's conscience will punish him every time he steps out of his house, and fears Beaver, the police, or someone else will spot him as the bicycle thief. Beaver thinks the kid may be a "wise guy" with no conscience, but the kid later takes flight at the mere sight of Larry.

Wally dates Myra, a popular girl who is used to dating seniors. She asks if Wally has a car. Ward will drive. She drops a hint that, especially as she's chairing the dance committee, she would like an orchid as her corsage. Wally thinks that will make up for not having a car, but doesn't have $7.50. Ward won't buy the expensive flower; he suggests a gardenia. Beaver brings Mrs. Rayburn's orchid corsage home from school; but, though kept unwrapped in the vegetable crisper, near the salami, it turns brown and falls apart. Ward relents when June shows him the pressed orchid he gave her when she was sixteen. Later, Wally says it wasn't worth it because Myra spent the whole evening dancing with other boys.

Guests: Pamela Baird (as Pamela Beaird) as Myra, Dee Carroll as Florist, Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, Doris Packer as Mrs. Cornelia Rayburn, Rusty Stevens as Larry Mondello.

Ward brings home an autographed baseball, given him by his baseball-playing Uncle Frank when Ward was 17, with a new-made pedestal. He proudly rattles off some names on it - Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Lefty Grove, Ki-Ki Cuyler, Augie Galan - and reminisces, but June turns away. Upstairs, the boys take a greater interest. Bill Dickey and Grover Cleveland Alexander are read off, and Beaver is impressed by the baseball-playing president. But Wally says they have "a buncha new guys that'll never be forgotten", to supplant Ward's greats. Later, Larry comes over and insists on playing catch with the major-league ball. When Larry overthrows, pretending to be Don Drysdale, the ball is crushed by a truck. Larry tries to recreate the baseball by signing "Baby Ruth" and other mangled names on his own 25¢ hardball. Later, Ward takes the ball out to show Fred Rutherford and the deception is discovered. Ward is disgusted with Beaver and gives him a stiff punishment. Later, when the rest of the family has dinner, Beaver is in his room. Ward is convinced by June and Wally that he is being harsh. However, Wally urges Ward to stay firm, and not lessen the punishment, or Beaver will lose respect for him.

Ward and June object to Beaver having an untamed mouse as a pet, but they say he can have a sensible, domesticated animal. At the market, Beaver sees a home-wanted ad for a monkey and eagerly answers the ad. The monkee, a Macaque, makes a shambles of June's luncheon party and then runs away. Later, Beaver finds the monkey outside his window on a rainy night. He is sick. The vet diagnoses pneumonia brought on by being in a too-cold climate. Beaver tends the monkey for days and the animal survives. Beaver wants to send the monkey to his native South America, but Ward has him placed in the monkey exhibit at the zoo, where he recognizes Beaver when he goes to visit.

Sent to do June's shopping - when June lets Wally opt out so he can go trampolining with Eddie - Beaver, with Larry, finds a wallet with $89 and takes it to the police, who tell him that the money will be his if no one claims it after ten days. Beaver makes a list of things he intends to buy. However, Ward insists he also write an ad to put in the paper. Beaver and others call the police station every day to see if the wallet has been claimed. On the tenth day, having gone to the station, Beaver meets a Miss Tomkins who has seen the ad, and is there to claim her wallet. She promises to send Beaver a nice gift as a reward. Days pass with nothing in the mail. At last, a clock-radio arrives for Beaver. Ward tells June he bought the radio to maintain Beaver's faith in human nature. He'll also send the thank-you note Beaver has written, so that Miss Tomkins will be reminded of Beaver's good deed.

Beaver is assigned to write about his mother for a school Mother's Day essay, but he's disappointed with her humdrum life, so he makes up a story. Beaver writes an inaccurate composition describing June as a glamorous show girl who got a big break thanks to a gangster. Mrs. Rayburn realizes the composition has no resemblance to June's life and gives it to June. Ward says Beaver was motivated by love to make his mother the most interesting in the class. He tells Beaver everyone would like to have exciting parents but we have to take them as they come.

Fred Rutherford plans a picnic with the Cleavers, but Beaver isn't too excited since Violet Rutherford keeps flirting with him. Fred Rutherford takes a photo of Violet kissing Beaver which then appears on the cover of a publication at Ward's company. Beaver is outraged and his classmates tease him about being in love with Violet. Later, Violet tells Beaver she only kissed him because her father told her to do so, and she really can't stand him. Beaver says he burned the picture and spit on the ashes.

Ward comes home to what he terms a Louisa May Alcott scene of domesticity, pots simmering on the range, and June sewing a button on a suit coat that Wally intends to wear to a dance. After coming home from a fishing trip, Beaver and Richard, in turn, ruin Wally's suit, when Beaver drapes a jacket with fishbait-filled pockets, and, after it's been dry cleaned, when Richard spills leather oil on it. Eddie stops by and learns of the disaster. When Wally wants to dress for a dance (completely unaware of the accident), Eddie suggests they "go Tony Curtis" and wear sports jackets and slacks instead of their suits. Later, Ward suggests Beaver keep mum about Eddie's kindness in the incident because Eddie doesn't like others to know he can be a nice guy.

Beaver answers an ad looking for models, sending in his photo. Wally and Ward scoff at the initial response, telling of a promising career to be had, Ward calling it "a come-on", Wally translating that to mean "a gyp". However, encouraged by Eddie, who thinks Sal Mineo got started that way, Beaver signs an agreement. Later, he doesn't pay a registration fee requested by the agency, leading to legal issues. The agency threatens legal action. After Ward, misconstruing Beaver's predicament, tells of debtors' prison, Beaver goes to an attorney known to his father and presents his savings of forty-six cents to have the attorney handle the matter. The attorney takes Beaver's savings, telling him whenever he gets himself into a position where he cannot go to his father, it will cost him something.

Wally uses start-up money from Ward to begin an Igloo Bar ice cream business, while trying to rid himself of his pesky brother, who takes too keen an interest. Wally doesn't demand cash up front from his friends and gets himself deeply into debt. Knowing his boss will fire him over his shortage, he becomes nervous. He asks Beaver for a loan, but Beaver is mad at his brother and refuses his request. Later, Wally discovers Beaver has made the loan and his account is marked paid in full by his boss. Ward quotes, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses itself and friend". Wally says he didn't expect someone who wrote that junk about Hamlet could have good advice for businessmen.

Guests: Ken Osmond as Eddie Haskell, "Tiger" Fafara as Tooey Brown, Buddy Hart as Chester Anderson, Cheryl Holdridge as Gloria Cusick, Rory Stevens as Little Boy, Dana Dillaway as Peggy, Anne Nauseda as Little Girl.

Miss Landers, back from a recent illness, suggests the class read one more book before summer. Ward considers her list of suggestions - Here Comes Connie, Hoppy the Kangaroo, Little Claude, Penny Bobbins - unmanly and suggests that Beaver read Ivanhoe, one of Ward's favorite childhood books. Beaver becomes engrossed, practices sword fighting with Gilbert, and gets in trouble defending womanhood, fighting a boy who shoves his sister. Beaver then creates a brotherhood of knights among his schoolmates. Their first proposed venture is to vanquish the neighborhood bully, Clyde Appleby. When Whitey opts out of the battle, Beaver realizes his honor is at stake and confronts Clyde. Beaver takes a drubbing. Ward tells Beaver Ivanhoe's virtues are still pertinent in the modern world but his violence is not. June tells of how she got in trouble pretending to be Lorna Doone, one of the Little Women, or Becky Sharp. Wally tells Beaver of the disease and cruelty of former times. Beaver says the only way to have fun in the olden days is to read about it.

Guests: Sue Randall as Miss Landers, Jeri Weil as Judy Hensler, Stanley Fafara as Whitey Whitney, Stephen Wootton as Clyde Appleby, Stephen Talbot as Gilbert Bates, James Parnell as Mr. Crawford, Bobby Beekman as Harold, Karen Sue Trent as Penny Woods, Neil Seflinger as Boy.

Wally joins the Crusaders, a letterman club at school, and discovers he is cast as a dance-hall girl in their Old West play. Wally is extremely embarrassed to be cast as a female character. Ward, who thinks Wally overly-sensitive, finally tells him a fable of a fox stuck in quicksand who coaxes a bear in so that he can climb out. Wally then manages to coax Eddie into taking the role. At the performance, Eddie hams it up to the acclaim of the audience. Wally then wishes he held on to his original role. Ward tells him he could be a bit more like Eddie while June says Eddie could be a lot more like Wally.

On the phone, June orders handkerchiefs as a last-day-of-school gift for Miss Landers, and a nylon slip for herself, with directions to gift wrap the handkerchiefs. The slip is wrapped by mistake. Beaver discovers it and gives Miss Landers a postcard instead. The other children are not impressed. Later, Beaver explains his "crummy gift" to Miss Landers and gives her the slip. At home, June has discovered the gift wrapping mistake and offers to call Miss Landers but Beaver says he has straightened it out.

Beaver has formed a football team called the Lightning Eleven, because the name scares kids. It's baseball season, but kids don't care about that. As coach of Beaver's football team, Wally comes up with a diabolical play, a fake hand-off called 'Old 98'. Beaver divulges this secret play to Penny Woods, who, in turn, divulges it to the opposition, the Grant Avenue Tigers. In the big game, the secret play is brought out in the final minutes, but the opposition is waiting for it and soundly trounces Beaver's team. Beaver is disgusted with Penny but Ward tells Beaver he wasn't a strategic genius in letting her know about the play in the first place. Ward tells Beaver he shouldn't say anything he doesn't want repeated, especially to girls; but he doesn't want Beaver to tell his mother that.