The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long is a selection of aphorisms from one of Robert A. Heinlein's main characters (Lazarus Long). These were originally published as two "intermissions" in the 1973 novel Time Enough for Love. In the context of the novel, these quotes were selected from Long's much longer memoirs (which make up a significant portion of the novel). Some of the phrases are humorous, some philosophical, and some merely quirky. They range in length from one sentence to multiple paragraphs. For example:

"Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget."

"Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house."

"Rub her feet."

"If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I have never heard of it."

"Never try to teach a pig to sing- it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

In 1978, these "notebooks" were published as a standalone work, with some selections illuminated (much like scripture) by D.F Vassallo. More excerpts were published in New Destinies, Vol. VI/Winter 1988 — "Robert A. Heinlein Memorial Issue, edited by Jim Baen.