Professional Widow

"Professional Widow"
Single by Tori Amos
from the album Boys for Pele
Released	July 2, 1996 (US) December 30, 1996 (UK) February 24, 1997(Aus)
Format	CD, Cassette
Genre	Alternative rock Speed garage (Armand Van Helden remix)
Length	4:31 (LP version)
Label	Atlantic Records
Writer(s)	Tori Amos
Producer(s)	Tori Amos
Tori Amos singles chronology
"Talula" (1996) "Professional Widow" (1996) "Hey Jupiter" (1996)

"Professional Widow" is a 1996 song written by singer-songwriter Tori Amos. It is a harpsichord-driven rock dirge and was included on her 1996 album Boys for Pele. The eponymous "professional widow" is widely rumoured to be Courtney Love, former wife of Kurt Cobain, whom Trent Reznor blames for the destruction of the friendship (whatever its extent) between himself and Amos.^[1] In 1999, Reznor's band Nine Inch Nails released a single called "Starfuckers, Inc.", with "Starfucker" being a word that appears in "Professional Widow".

Lyrically the song borrows directly from the short story "The Sphinx" by Edgar Allan Poe. Specifically the lyric "what is termed a landslide of principal proportion" is taken from the line "what is termed a land-slide, of the principal portion of its trees"; and the lyric "prism perfect" from the line "in shape a perfect prism."

It was remixed by house music producer Armand van Helden (marketed as "Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix"), and reached number one on the UK Singles Chart,^[2] and the Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart in the U.S. The song was then further remixed by artist Mr. Roy, spawning an entirely new CD-single of remixes that again charted.

Personnel (of original recording on Boys for Pele)

• Tori Amos: harpsichord, Bösendorfer piano, vocals
• Alan Friedman: drum programming (including the cry of a bull, which was actually credited as "bull: Bull" in the Boys for Pele liner notes)
• George Porter Jr.: bass guitar
• Manu Katche: drums
• Steve Caton: guitar

Singles and compilations

US "Professional Widow" single, July 1996

CD single

1. "Professional Widow" (LP Mix) – 4:31
2. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) – 8:08
3. "Professional Widow" (MK Mix) – 7:20
4. "Professional Widow" (Just Da Funk Dub) – 3:44
5. "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire Dub) – 6:56
6. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Instrumental) – 5:35
7. "Professional Widow" (Bonus Beats) – 4:31

12" single

1. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) – 8:08
2. "Professional Widow" (Just Da Funk Dub) – 3:44
3. "Professional Widow" (MK Mix) – 7:20
4. "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire Dub) 6:56

UK "Hey Jupiter/Professional Widow" double A-side single, July 1996

CD single

1. "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota Version) – 6:03
2. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) (Radio Edit) – 3:45
3. "Sugar" (Live) – 5:43
4. "Honey" (Live) – 4:19

12" single

1. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) – 8:08
2. "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota Version) (Radio Edit) – 4:14
3. "Talula" (BT's Synethasia Mix) – 11:27

Cassette single

1. "Hey Jupiter" (The Dakota Version) – 6:03
2. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) (Radio Edit) – 3:45

UK "Professional Widow (It's Got to Be Big)" single, December 1996

CD single

1. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) (Radio Edit) – 3:45
2. "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's 7" Edit)
3. "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) – 8:08
4. "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage Mix)
5. "Professional Widow" (Just Da Funk Dub)

12" single

1. "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage)
2. "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's 7" Edit)
3. "Professional Widow" (Armands Star Trunk Funkin' Mix)
4. "Professional Widow" (Just Da Funk Dub)

Cassette single

1. "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's 7" Edit)
2. "Professional Widow" (Armands Star Trunk Funkin' Mix)

Compilations

Following the release of Boys for Pele, on which it first appeared, "Professional Widow" has been featured on several releases.

• 1996 – The LP version is featured on the Escape from L.A. soundtrack.
• 1996 – The "Merry Widow version", a live version performed on an organ during her 1996 tour, appeared on the Hey Jupiter EP.
• 1997 – A compilation CD titled Work Out, released by Atlantic Records, leads with the Star Trunk Funkin' Mix.
• 1997 – Boys for Pele was reissued in the UK featuring both the LP version and the full-length Star Trunk Funkin' Mix back-to-back. Consequently, the track "In the Springtime of His Voodoo" is cut from the album.
• 1997 – Triple J Hottest 100, Vol. 4 compilation (Triple J Radio Australia).
• 2003 – The compilation CD Tales of a Librarian seats the radio edit of the Star Trunk Funkin' Mix between two other Boys for Pele songs.
• 2005 – The digital version of Boys for Pele was made available on iTunes, featuring the same track listing as the 1997 UK reissue.
• 2006 – The digital iTunes Essentials collection includes the full length (8:06) Star Trunk Funkin' Mix in their Tori Amos best-of playlist, categorized as one of "The Basics".
• 2006 – The box set compilation A Piano: The Collection includes the Star Trunk Funkin' Mix edit as well as the Merry Widow Live Version, but again, not the album version. The "Merry Widow" version featured here is an edit, which fades out some of Amos' dialog heard on the original Hey Jupiter EP.

Video

A video was made for the "Star Trunk Funkin' Mix," but it was simply a collection of clips from other Tori Amos videos edited together. It is the only video from between 1991 and 1998 that does not appear on Tori Amos: Complete Videos 1991-1998.

One can see Amos playing "Professional Widow" live on the Welcome to Sunny Florida DVD. The performance features Jon Evans on bass and Matt Chamberlain on drums, while Amos plays the piano. This version mutes out any instances of "fucker," and the last word, "cock".

Covers

• Hard rock act The Good Year Pimps released a version of the song for the compilation, Wouldn't It Be Great To Have All These Songs on One Album. This release also contains a cover of Amos' song "Iieee."

• Dance/jazz Nite Flyte recorded a version of the "Star Trunk Funkin' Mix" for their album 30,000 Feet, revisioning it is a laid-back groove.

• A cover of the "Star Trunk Funkin' Mix" was done by trance group Money Order.

• The Vitamin String Quartet included an "album mix"-inspired version on their 2nd Tori Amos tribute compendium.

Remixes

• "Professional Widow" (LP mix/original version) – 4:31
• "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) (radio edit) – 3:45
• "Professional Widow" (Armand's Instrumental) – 5:35
• "Professional Widow" (Armand's Star Trunk Funkin' Mix) – 8:08
• "Professional Widow" (Bonus Beats) – 4:31
• "Professional Widow" (Just Da Funk Dub) – 3:44
• "Professional Widow" (MK Mix) – 7:20
• "Professional Widow" (MK Vampire Dub) – 6:56
• "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's 7" Edit)
• "Professional Widow" (Mr Roy's Cosmic Cottage Mix)

Charts

Chart (1996)	Position
U.S. Billboard Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles	8
U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Club Play[3]	1
U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Single Sales	14
UK Singles Chart[2]	1
Australian ARIA Singles Chart	17
Canadian Singles Chart	38
Italian Singles Chart	1
Belgium Walonia Singles Chart	22
Belgium Flanders Singles Chart	22
Norwegian Singles Chart	17
Swiss Singles Chart	22
Austrian Singles Chart	23
French Singles Chart	35
Dutch Singles Chart	33
Swedish Singles Chart	40
Finnish Singles Chart	16
German Singles Chart	38

See also

• List of number-one dance singles of 1996 (U.S.)
• List of artists who reached number one on the U.S. dance chart

References

External links

• Professional Widow page at hereinmyhead.com
• Misheard lyrics of Professional Widow at Am I Right

Preceded by "Before" by Pet Shop Boys	Billboard Hot Dance Club Play number-one single July 27, 1996 – August 3, 1996	Succeeded by "Keep on Jumpin'" by Martha Wash and Jocelyn Brown
Preceded by "2 Become 1" by Spice Girls	UK Singles Chart number-one single January 12, 1997 – January 18, 1997	Succeeded by "Your Woman" by White Town

Tori Amos Albums Little Earthquakes Under the Pink Boys for Pele From the Choirgirl Hotel To Venus and Back Strange Little Girls Scarlet's Walk The Beekeeper American Doll Posse Abnormally Attracted to Sin Midwinter Graces Night of Hunters Unrepentant Geraldines EPs Crucify Hey Jupiter Scarlet's Hidden Treasures Exclusive Session Flavor (Peter Rauhofer Mixes) Live albums To Venus and Back The Original Bootlegs Legs and Boots Live at Montreux 1991/1992 From Russia with Love Compilations Tales of a Librarian A Piano: The Collection Gold Dust Singles "Me and a Gun" "Silent All These Years" "China" "Winter" "Crucify" "Cornflake Girl" "God" "Pretty Good Year" "Past the Mission" "Caught a Lite Sneeze" "Talula" "Professional Widow" "Hey Jupiter" "In the Springtime of His Voodoo" "Spark" "Jackie's Strength" "Cruel/Raspberry Swirl" "Bliss" "1000 Oceans" "Glory of the 80's" "Concertina" "Strange Little Girl" "A Sorta Fairytale" "Taxi Ride" "Don't Make Me Come to Vegas" "Strange" "Mary" "Angels" "Sleeps with Butterflies" "Sweet the Sting" "Cars and Guitars" "Big Wheel" "Bouncing off Clouds" "Almost Rosey" "Welcome to England" "Maybe California" "A Silent Night with You" "Carry" "Flavor" "Trouble's Lament" Videos Little Earthquakes Live from New York Complete Videos: 1991–1998 A Sorta Fairytale Welcome to Sunny Florida Fade to Red Live at Montreux 1991/1992 Live From the Artists Den Tours 5 ½ Weeks Tour To Dallas and Back Strange Little Tour On Scarlet's Walk Tour Original Sinsuality Tour American Doll Posse World Tour Sinful Attraction Tour Summer 2010 Night of Hunters Tour Gold Dust Orchestral Tour Unrepentant Geraldines Tour Related articles Discography Piece by Piece Comic Book Tattoo Delirium Y Kant Tori Read "Blue Skies" RAINN "Baltimore" The Light Princess