List of The Catholic Guy recurring segments

This is an incomplete list of recurring segments featured on The Catholic Guy:

Discussion segments

The following segments feature discussion on a specific topic where callers can interject their opinions:

Catholic Guy Advice

Listeners email Lino about difficult situations that they have found themselves in, and Lino and Father Rob advise them on how to deal with the situation. Lino then opens up the phone lines for listeners to give their take.

The Eleventh Commandment

Not satisfied with just Ten Commandments, Father Rob adds one of his own for real-life situations and explains his rationale.

Father Rob's Righteous Anger

Father Rob tells of recent happenings in his life and interactions with people that have really gotten him steamed. Lino and the listeners debate if his anger is "righteous" or not.

Lino's Casting Couch

Lino takes a story from the Bible, and then asks listeners to cast modern-day actors and actresses in the roles of the main characters from that story, based on who they think would be the best fit.

Minor Confessions

Listeners call in with things that they have done that aren't truly sins and can't be brought to the Confessional, but are still things that they're not exactly proud of having done.

Mysteries

Lino, Father Rob, and the listeners share puzzling mysteries of day-to-day life, such as driving on a parkway and parking in a driveway or why a person "catches" a cold.

No Dumb Questions (only potentially dumb answers)

This segment is an open forum for listeners to call in with their questions about the faith and the Catholic Church. Lino and/or Father Rob tried to answer the callers' questions, some of which are quite challenging.

Not Counting My Blessings

Father Rob and callers pose multiple questions as Lino tries to finds the negative attributes in them.

Random Thankfulness

Listeners call in and describe the things for which they are randomly thankful. Lino encourages folks to not describe "obvious" things to be thankful for (e.g. God, food, good health), but rather the strange things in our daily lives (e.g. bad commercials, falling trees, warm beer).

Things That Drive You Crazy At Mass

Listeners call in and discuss things they have seen happen at Mass that bother them.

Games

The following segments are games in which callers can win prizes:

19 Questions

Identical in concept to the traditional 20 Questions game, but with one less question just to make it a little different. The moderator has a Saint in mind, and Lino and Father Rob take turns asking "yes or no" questions about that Saint to narrow it down. The first person to guess correctly wins points based on how many questions it took; a correct guess on the first question would earn 19 points, with one point subtracted for each additional question asked.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Lino and Father Rob give listeners the opportunity to receive anything they want (within reason), acting in the way God answers prayers easily. The listeners can ask for prizes normally given to game winners (such as a rosary or Lino's book), or they can ask for many other things (such as a tour of the studio or making Father Rob host the entire show himself).

Answer The Question

Callers answer Lino's questions relating to both the Church and pop culture. For example, are there more sacraments in the Catholic Church or number of seasons of Walker, Texas Ranger. Each contestant gets five tries, with the prize determined by the number of correct answers given (more correct answers = better prize).

Catholic Password

Based on the TV game show Password, two callers are given a Catholic-themed password, then take turns giving one-word clues to Father Rob in an attempt to have him guess the password. If he guesses it on the first clue, the person whose clue it is receives ten points... the second clue, nine points, and so on until the password is guessed or ten clues are given out. The caller with the most points earns a prize. In earlier versions of the game, Lou and Maureen would compete against each other in seven rounds, with the winner receiving bragging rights until the next time the game was played.

Do You Watch More TV Than A Parish Priest?

Callers go against Father Rob in this game featuring TV theme songs. The listener is played clips from five theme songs while Father Rob waits outside the studio, and must identify as many as possible. Then Father Rob comes back and is played the same five themes. If a listener identifies more (or the same number of) TV themes than Father Rob, they win a prize of their choosing. If Father Rob identifies more, he gets to spend a minute or so mocking the listener in whatever way he sees fit.

The God's Honest Truth

Lino gives callers a Catholic-related statement, and the caller must determine if the statement is a lie or the God’s Honest Truth. Each contestant gets five tries, with the prize determined by the number of correct answers given.

Higher/Lower

Based on The Clock Game from The Price Is Right, Lino asks callers a question with a numerical answer, and the caller had 30 seconds to answer correctly, with Father Rob helping the listener by telling them if their answer needs to be higher or lower than their last answer. Each listener needs to get at least 2-of-3 right to win.

Let's Make a Catholic Deal

Inspired by the show Let's Make a Deal, callers are asked a question about Catholicism or the Bible. If they get the answer correct, they win a semi-valuable prize. The caller can take the prize or forfeit it to possibly win a better prize behind doors 1, 2, or 3. One door will contain a premium prize, such as a Pope bottle opener or rosary. The remaining doors may contain prizes ranging from postcards to random sound effects, being hung up on, or various junk lying around the studio.

The Retention Game

Usually played after a "Catholic Guy Pilgrimage", Lino plays an audio clip of a pilgrim (or sometimes Father Rob) being asked questions about what they learned on the pilgrimage. Callers do not have to know the answers to the questions, they just have to guess if the pilgrim interviewed will answer the question correctly or not.

What Does an Atheist Know?

In a similar format to The Retention Game, Lino plays clips of his Atheist friend Jim being asked basic questions about Catholicism (or Christianity in general). Callers guess if Jim answers them correctly or not.

What's Father Rob Humming?

Similar in concept to What's Lino Whistling (see below), Father Rob sticks his iPod headphones in his ears and hums along to the song that's playing... although it is not so much humming as it is vaguely harmonized grunting. Listeners call in and guess what song Father Rob is humming. If they guess correctly, they have the opportunity to win a variety of prizes from the show based on the song's difficulty.

What's Lino Whistling?

Per Lino's admission, he cannot whistle. In this segment, Lino attempts to whistle a tune, which is usually less of a whistle and more of the release of air through what sounds like missing teeth. Listeners call in and guess what song Lino is whistling. If they guess correctly, they have the opportunity to win a variety of prizes from the show based on the song's difficulty.

Where Am I?

Lino asks questions of which the answer will be a saint's name that is also the name of a city; callers must guess the name of the city to win a prize. For example, the patron saint of lost things (Anthony of Padua / San Antonio).

Who Did It?

Lino and Father Rob both recite statements of sins one of the two has previously committed (ex. "I committed the sin of wrath by throwing a carrot at a friend"). Callers must determine if Lino or Father Rob actually did what they said. They must get at least two correct to win a prize.

Who's Your Daddy/Mamma?

Lino and Father Rob ask callers a series of five questions about fathers or mothers of all kinds from the Bible, and each listener needs to get at least 2-of-3 correct to win a prize.

Word of God or Word of Man?

Lino reads statements and callers must decide if they come from the bible or a random person. Each caller gets three statements and must answer at least one correctly to win a prize.

In-studio segments

The following segments are between those in-studio only and do not include caller interaction:

Boring Catholic Radio

Hearkening back to the good ol' days of "Traditional Catholic radio", Lino and Father Rob transform the show into a plodding, glitch-laden, mind-numbing mess to give listeners a taste of what boring Catholic radio sounds like.

Free Therapy Tuesday

Lino discusses his latest counseling sessions with his therapist. He brings up his questions and challenges in the hopes that listeners learn something.

Homily On The Spot

In an effort to test Father Rob's homiletics skills, Lino reads a brief passage from Scripture, and Father Rob must formulate and deliver a brief homily based on that Scripture passage while dealing with constant interruptions from Lino. At the end of the homily, Lino gives it a letter grade.

Interviews With The Saints

Lino pays a visit to "heaven" and conducts "interviews" with various Saints... all of whom mysteriously sound a lot like Father Rob.

The Li-Nie Awards

An Emmy Award-like segment that showcases the "best of the worst" of the commercials that air on The Catholic Channel. Commercials are nominated in various categories ('Worst production values', 'Longest unnecessary pause', etc.), and winners are declared by a majority vote amongst the participating crew members. The segment was previously known as The Gussie Awards, named after fellow Catholic Channel host Gus Lloyd; it was also temporarily called The Timmy Awards after Father Rob's nickname.

Lino's Confirmation Sponsor-ee

Lino was asked by a young confirmation student to be their sponsor. The "sponsor-ee" calls in to discuss what they learned in class that week, followed by commentary and advice from Lino and Father Rob.

Lino's Favorite New Catholic

Listeners call in over several days to nominate someone who came into the Catholic Church during that year's Easter Vigil (either themselves or someone else) in the hopes of winning a package of prizes. Lino asks each nominee (or their nominator) a series of questions to determine who would make the short list of nominees, with a winner determined by Lino at the end of the week.

Lino's General Audience

A takeoff of the General Audience the Pope holds every Wednesday, Lino pontificates on a specific theme of his choosing (after reading the pope's message in his German accent).

Lino Is Sorry (And So Is Father Rob)

Usually done on a Friday, Lino and Father Rob apologize for things they have said and done on the air that they wish they hadn't.

Lino's Music Makeover

Sirius XM music host Kayla Riley stops by each week as the crew rates Christian/Catholic music. Each week four or five songs are chosen that fit a certain genre previously chosen by a listener (e.g., Catholic songs to listen to while commuting to work), and after listening to a clip from each song Kayla and the crew rate it on a scale of 0-5 "noses" (with 0 being the worst and 5 being the best). This segment begins with the playing of southern gospel group The Lighthouse Boys' song "Jesus is a Friend of Mine" and often ends with the praise and worship song "Let It Rain", both played for humorous effect.

Mail Time

Lino reads email sent in by listeners, usually either compliments or questions directed as he and Father Rob.

Mark Hart, The Bible Geek

Mark Hart, Catholic author/Vice President of Life Teen/Catholic Channel host talks to Lino and Father Rob about anything having to do with the bible and Catholicism.

Mystery Science Homilies

Lino plays a recording of an actual homily given by Father Rob at Mass the previous Sunday. He provides a running commentary on it in the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000, critiquing Father Rob's delivery and performance usually more than necessary.

Saint Who?!?!

Father Rob names a saint (almost always an obscure one). Lino discusses said saint, completely making up the saint's history for humorous effect. When he is finished, Father Rob reveals the real history of the Saint.

Seven Deadly Questions

Lino responds to seven previously-prepared questions about himself sent in by the listeners.

Tell Me Something I Didn't Know

In latest incarnation of the show's daily news segment, Father Rob reads summaries of a number of interesting news stories, and he and Lino comment on them. This segment was previously known as The World Beyond Lino, The Wheel of News, and Lou's News.

This Or That

Producer Scott reads hypothetical situations to Lino and Father Rob and gives them two courses of action that they can take. They then rationalize and argue about their choices.

What's Up With That?

An alternate version of Tell Me Something I Didn't Know airing when Father Jim Chern is in studio, Lino reads stories that are more unusual in nature, prompting Lino to ask the question "What's up with that?" (modeled from both an audio clip of Father Jim and a Saturday Night Live sketch of a similar title)

Other segments

Pope for a Day

In the same way Pope Francis randomly calls people who write him, Lino calls listeners who have previously emailed the show with their phones numbers and why he should call them on the air.

Song Parodies

Lino and Father Rob often sing song parodies, most of which are either of religious significance or about other crew members.

Lenten parodies

During Lent 2012, Lino proclaimed his act of penance as being he and Father Rob doing a song parody (nearly) each day. The altered title is followed by the original in (parentheses):

Lenten song parodies returned for Lent 2013:

Former segments

The following segments have not been heard in more than a year and will likely not return:

Are You Smarter Than A Bad Catholic?

Former producer Maureen McMurray had a reputation of not knowing as much about Catholicism as she should, and attempted to prove it by going against listeners. With Maureen out of the studio, each listener was given a category (e.g., pilgrimage sites, books in the New Testament) and had to name as many items as they could that fell into that category. Maureen was then brought in to do the same. If a listener won, they would get a prize based on the level of difficulty assigned to that category by Lino and Lou/Ryan. If Maureen won, she would get a temporary reprieve from being labeled a "bad Catholic."

This segment ended when Maureen left the show in June 2011.

Hopefully not Catholic

People who committed dumb acts that made the news were commented on, with Lino and crew jokingly hoping said person was not Catholic due to Lino's desire that the Church not look bad (the crew did hope that the person repented.)

This segment has not aired since 2010.

Hot, Rich, or Pious

The producer reads scenarios involving one of the crewmembers and an unnamed person, and Lino and Father Rob must decide if they prefer the unnamed person to be hot, rich, or pious.

This segment has not been featured since October 2011.

The Inquizition

Every Friday, technical director Lou Ruggieri would match wits with professional phone answerer Tom Falcone to see which one of the two learned more about Catholicism over the past week.

This segment has not aired since Falcone left the show in 2008.

Name That Sinner

A simple quiz game where Lino gives callers clues about certain celebrities and the sins they've committed, and the listeners guess the celebrity for the chance to win a prize.

This segment was last featured in September 2011.

Scathergories

Based (loosely) on the party game Scattergories, this game is played in three rounds. Lino selects a letter of the alphabet, then gives playing crewmembers (sometimes including himself) 60 seconds to write down words/phrases starting with that letter that describe eight Catholic categories (e.g., a place in the New Testament that begins with the letter 'C'). The answers are then hotly debated amongst the contestants, with one point awarded for each answer deemed acceptable by the majority of players. Extra points are given for alliterative answers, and points are not awarded if a contestant begins their answer with the same word as another contestant's.

Once heard almost weekly, this segment has not been featured since September 2011 and will likely not return because there are no longer enough on-air crewmembers to play the game. It made a return in April 2014 when Father Jim Chern and former producer Lou Ruggieri were guests on the show.

Who's More Catholic?

On Fridays, Lino and frequent Friday guest Father Jim Chern played this best-of-seven-rounds game in which a random sound effect was played during each round, and the two then had 30 seconds to write down the best Catholic connection to that sound effect. Callers were chosen to decide who made the better connection, often resulting in allegations by Lino that the audience was biased toward Father Jim because they wanted him to win at Lino's expense. Because of this, later versions of the game had the crew deciding who made a better connection, with the listeners relegated to breaking ties if the crew was split.

This segment used to air every Friday when Father Jim was a regular guest on the show. Due to the perception of bias (see description), this segment has not appeared since 2010.

Win Lou's Money!

Listeners went up against former assistant producer Lou Ruggieri to answer Catholic trivia. With Lou out of the studio, each listener was asked to answer seven Catholic trivia questions as fast as they could within 60 seconds, and then Lou was brought back in to do the same. If there was time left after the last question, Lou and the contestants could stop (hoping that a fast time would earn them victory) or go back and answer skipped questions (hoping that more correct answers would help them). If a listener had more correct answers than Lou, or had the same number of correct answers but finished faster, they won cold hard cash from Lou.

This segment ended when Lou left the show in April 2011. It made a return in April 2014 when Lou was a guest on the show.