List of Nostalgia Critic episodes (2013)

The Critic returns as he reviews The Odd Life of Timothy Green (2012). He criticizes the clumsy screenplay that despite good intentions is plagued with plot holes, the incompetent and mean-spirited characters (especially the parents and the bullies), the ridiculous romance, the fact that this ridiculous story is believed by the people it is told to, and the idiotic ending. Special criticism is reserved for the parents' decision to "make more mistakes" instead of learning from them. However, he agrees that the film is well acted, especially from child actor CJ Adams.

The Critic reviews Pearl Harbor (2001). He tears it apart for Randall Wallace's poor writing and insulting portrayal of the United States military of World War II, with special criticism for the performance of Ben Affleck, the terrible romance, and director Michael Bay's complete misunderstanding of the historical event the film was based on. However, he does give credit to the effects and action scenes, Mako & Dan Aykroyd's performances, and is surprised at how the first half of the film has little to none of Bay's typical trademarks.

The sketches in-between the review shows a fictionalized exploration of the rise and fall of Bay, stating his style of filming comes from working with pornographic films - in reality, Bay directed music videos.

Channel Awesome Tag: Ben Affleck as Rafe McCawley: “They call it an homage, sir.”

The Critic reviews Son of the Mask (2005) after finding a supernatural DVD copy in a trash can where it was thrown away by the Devil's (Ray) wife Kim Kardashian (Tietz). He heavily criticizes the failed slapstick, bad acting, writing, jokes, terrible CGI effects (which he finds are worse than the ones in Baby Geniuses), and the overuse of wide angle shots. Special criticism is reserved for the frightening imagery that is more likely to scare young children than entertain. The only aspect he praises is the car used by Kennedy and his wife character near the climax of the movie to chase after Loki and the baby.

Channel Awesome Tag: Jamie Kennedy as Tim Avery: “Say ‘Dada’!”

The Critic reviews The King and I (1999). Already being indifferent toward the other versions of the story (though he does consider the 1956 film to at least be competently made, and have decent characterization), he criticizes the underdeveloped characters, strange story changes (which the Critic attributes to the script being co-written by David Seidler of Quest for Camelot, another negatively received Warner Bros. animated film that he reviewed), nonsensical villain, unfunny jokes, and bad renditions of the musical's songs . Special criticism is reserved for its total unfaithfulness to the real-life story behind the film (which he finds to be the case with all adaptations of the story, and recommends Abbot Low Moffat's biography of Mongkut over any of the various Anna Leonowens-related works), and the excessive focus on the side characters and comic relief who were not central to the original story. He does say that the animation is decent for the most part, but feels that it tries to copy Disney's style a little too much, and says that the CGI used in some sequences looks awful.

The Critic reviews Catwoman (2004). He criticizes the title character's backstory, along with mishandling the original character, lack of subtlety, bad writing, editing and direction. However, he admits that Halle Berry's performance is not terrible, doing the best with what extremely little she is given. Special criticism is reserved for the incompetence of the characters, and on how Berry's character starts behaving like a cat after becoming Catwoman.

During the review, the Catwomen Anonymous, including Eartha Kitt (Ray), Michelle Pfeiffer (Tietz), Anne Hathaway (Chambers) and Sean Young (Kay), after tying up their counselor (Jarosz), hunt down the Critic to force him to let them star in the review. The Critic manages to dissuade them, but is not able to avoid being attacked by the Berry Catwoman (Belisle Jr.) for criticizing the film.

The Critic reviews The Cat in the Hat (2003) while babysitting the Devil's (Ray) daughter, Evilina (Tietz) and being tormented by a Hollywood executive responsible for the Dr. Seuss adaptations, Peter Souless (Belisle, Jr.). The Critic considers that the changes to the original book were unfaithful (adding adult humor made it childish, modernizing the dialogue made it dated, and changing the story showed complete disrespect towards the source material), finds Mike Myers miscast as the title character, and criticizes the "corporate pandering" with pop-culture references and product placements (particularly a nod toward Universal Studios Theme Parks). He also takes time to criticize Myers' career as a whole, saying that he was highly overrated as a comedian and never as funny as his reputation.

Note: In the commentary for the episode, Doug declared this to be his favorite review, and stated he would review The Lorax someday. He eventually reviewed the film on May 6, 2014.

The Critic lists his top 11 favorite South Park episodes.

11. Christian Rock Hard
10. Britney's New Look
9. Cancelled
8. Chinpokomon
7. Good Times with Weapons
6. Make Love, Not Warcraft
5. The Passion of the Jew
4. The Coon trilogy (Coon 2: Hindsight, Mysterion Rises and Coon vs. Coon and Friends)
3. Woodland Critter Christmas
2. All About Mormons
1. Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants

Note: This review came with a brief rant on the show TMZ, but was removed from Blip.tv after TMZ took offence to it. The rant was removed on its reupload (though the rant has since been put back into the review),^[1] and Doug later parodied TMZ in the review of A.I. Artificial Intelligence.

The Critic reviews Jurassic Park (1993). While stating that the film is still a classic and holds up very well, he points out some of the film's flaws, such as the performance of Jeff Goldblum, the implausibility of finding DNA for so many marketable dinosaurs, a few plot holes, scenes that do not go anywhere and the overuse of backlighting effects. The Critic also mentions that he may one day review Jurassic Park III.

The Critic reviews A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001). He considers the movie to be a confused mess, criticizing the multitude of plot holes, poor editing, constant shifts in tone, and the completely unnecessary third act. He feels as if the film is a clash between the styles of the two men responsible for it, Steven Spielberg and Stanley Kubrick - though he is surprised at the fact that many of the sentimental elements (particularly the ending) were Kubrick's ideas. The Critic still acknowledges that Spielberg did his best to bring his late friend Kubrick's vision to life while still bringing his own spin to it, and commends Spielberg on doing a decent job of re-creating the cinematography of Kubrick's films.

The underlying sketches have the Critic trying out working for a fictionalized TMZ in response to his bashing of it in the South Park countdown.

The Critic reviews The Master of Disguise (2002). After showing one-line reviews from critics such as Roger Ebert and Michael J. Nelson, he calls it one of the worst comedies he has ever seen and the worst film from Happy Madison Productions, feeling that it completely misses the point on every aspect of what makes comedy work. He criticizes Dana Carvey's acting, the awful screenplay, unfunny jokes, sluggish pacing, biased characters, and plethora of forgettable disguises, but gives credit to a running flatulence joke (personified by Ray) for providing the film's only funny moments, albeit inconsistently.

In response to the 20th anniversary of the show, the Critic reviews Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) after Zordon (Ray) asks him to do so to stop Rita Repulsa (Tietz, dubbed by Walker) from using the Power Rangers "most despised product" to turn the whole world against the entire franchise. While battling Rita and her monstrous Movie Bomb (Jarosz) with the help of Linkara, the Critic finds Turbo to be stupid and childish even by Power Rangers standards, criticizing the generic plot and acting as well as the slow pace, the poor costume effects and lame action scenes, the ludicrousness of a young boy not only replacing the established Blue Ranger, not making good use of returning characters Kimberly, Jason and Zordon, and lack of actual screen time for the Power Ranger suits. The Critic still admits that it is acceptable to fans, as the campiness of the show is what they liked about Power Rangers and partly what made it a cult classic.

The Critic lists what he considers to be the top 11 largest downfalls in the original Lord of the Rings film trilogy, not including any of The Hobbit films. Despite the flaws, he still calls it one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time.

11. Letting Gandalf fall down an abyss in the first film when he was still holding onto the cliff edge without helping him.
10. The numerous fake-out endings in Return of the King.
9. Gimli's reduction to a simplified comic relief.
8. Making Legolas "too perfect" and overpowered.
7. Pointless wide-angle close-up shots (mostly in the first film).
6. Simplifying John Noble's character, Denethor, from a Shakespearean character into an unsympathetic over-the-top "asshole".
5. Constant death fake outs.
4. The ring's connection to Arwen's fate.
3. The (admittedly unintentional) homosexual overtones in Sam and Frodo's friendship.
2. Saruman's complete absence in the Return of the King theatrical cut (especially when they had a shot and edited scene of his death).
1. Not using the Giant Eagles to enter Mordor more quickly and effectively.

Note: This episode was scheduled to air on July 9, but was postponed to the following Thursday due to a power outage.

The Critic tries to create a formula for his own lazy show with help from Dr. Hack (Ray), a specialist in formulaic TV shows, and his assistant, Eureka (Tietz). The doctor comes up with the formula for the anime series Sailor Moon, leading into a review of the English dub of the anime (1995–2000). While praising the opening theme, he considers the series a formulaic mess, criticizing the repeating plot lines, generally lazy and stupid main character, boring supporting cast, sexualization of 14-year-old girls (though he acknowledges that he originally thought they were young adults, and that in Japan the age of consent is lower), overuse of the same animation, irritating American-style end of episode PSAs, and other Americanized elements. However, he credits the main character for being a clearly defined character (when she could just as easily be another pretty-face) who got better as the show went on, and the writing for keeping the stories interesting despite the repetitiveness.

The Critic reviews Les Miserables (2012) in a musical style similar to his earlier episode on Moulin Rouge, this time with Paul and Kyle, while brentalfloss constantly tries to invade the review. Watching the film while at ConBravo, they criticize Russell Crowe's singing, the poor cinematography, and plenty of writing issues, such as plot holes, lack of character development, jumps in time periods that lead to excessive side characters and subplots, and the rushed romance. Nonetheless, they feel that the rest of the singing, while hit and miss, is mostly hit due to the powerful emotions shown by the cast, particularly Anne Hathaway, and feel that the film does a good job of both adapting and modernizing the musical. The three critics end up reflecting how reviewers were split on the movie: the Critic thinks it is just okay, Paul loves it and Kyle hates it.

The review ends with an after-credits scene where the Critic returns home to be greeted by Tietz and Ray dressed as Katara and Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender, who seek out his help to save their franchise from a "great evil".

Channel Awesome Tag: Rob Paulsen as Yakko (from Animaniacs): "I'm Yakko!"

Jess Harnell as Wakko (from Animaniacs): "I'm Wakko!"

The Critic reviews The Last Airbender (2010), as requested by Katara (Tietz) and Sokka (Ray) to stop the director M. Night Shyamalan (who appears played by Jarosz, voiced by Rob doing a Steven Blum impression, and dressed like Amon) from adapting The Legend of Korra. Outside of considering the re-enactment of the show's intro promising and mildly praising the character development of the main villains (Zuko, Iroh and Zhao), he declares the film to be one of the worst film adaptations of all time, criticizing the extreme lack of loyalty to the show, which includes bad acting, rushed storytelling, complete lack of emotional involvement, ethnic miscasting, name mispronunciation, bad cinematography filled with close ups and over long tracking shots, poor set and character designs and sluggish action scenes. Special criticism is reserved for replacing character development with constant exposition.

Note: Before Doug watched and reviewed the film, he and sometimes his brother Rob viewed each episode of all three seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender and the first season of The Legend of Korra and did a review of each one individually. The Walkers later reviewed the following second, third and fourth seasons of Korra. In an episode of Nostalgia Critic Editorial, he made a "Top 11 Worst Episodes (by Default) of Avatar the Last Airbender" and then later did a formal episode for the seventh season called the "Top 11 Best Avatar Episodes." Both of the web videos guest starred Dante Basco, who was the voice actor of Prince Zuko.

The Critic reviews Bridge to Terabithia (2007), after initially hinting to do so in his "Princess Hate" Editorial. Though he likes the attempted ideas, and does consider the death of a friend aspect to be well executed, he criticizes the overly whimsical nature, bland and irritatingly perfect characters, unnervingly obvious foreshadowing of the tragic ending, the main female character's creepy obsession with the fantasy world, poor effects, forced fantasy elements, and the decision to keep the dialogue like the 1977 book it is based on despite not fitting with the film's update to a modern setting.

The Critic starts off this year's Nostalgia-ween by reviewing The Shining miniseries (1997). He criticizes the poorly executed monster effects, worse acting (particularly from Courtland Mead), insufferably slow pace, excessively overlong talking scenes, and lack of any genuine horror, citing that most attempts at scares fall flat and that scenes that could lead to potentially scary moments usually go nowhere. In the end, he considers the Stanley Kubrick version to be vastly superior, as it properly built suspense, created an intense atmosphere and made for a genuinely scary story, with the miniseries' only advantage being in having protagonist Jack Torrance better written, acted, and developed, whereas the Kubrick version's take on the same character was just another typical Jack Nicholson performance.

Throughout the review, the Kubrick version is parodied by having the Critic slowly going insane from boredom like Nicholson's Torrance and attempting to kill Rachel and Malcolm.

Channel Awesome Tag: Courtland Mead as Danny Torrance: "What do you want me to think?"

The Critic continues Nostalgia-Ween by reviewing Sharknado (2013) along with the Cinema Snob. Together, they criticize the poor special effects, Tara Reid's performance, horrible characters who get poor attempts at development, ridiculous scientific elements, and over the top moments. Special criticism is reserved for the pitiful under-use of talented actor John Heard, as well as a scene where the main characters actually blow up a tornado with homemade bombs.

The Critic reviews Devil (2010) while doing sketches similar to the movie's plot, where he is stuck in an elevator with Rita Repulsa (Tietz, dubbed by Doug), Santa Christ (Rob) and the Devil (Malcolm) inside. While most of the acting is praised (except from Geoffrey Arend and Jacob Vargas) and the potential for a set-up of a thriller about people trapped in an elevator getting killed one-by-one had potential, the Critic considers that the supernatural elements just dragged the story down, with the actions of the titular Devil being ridiculously flamboyant, and the end twist of the killer being the old woman ultimately making no sense in context with the story.

Note: Doug included Devil on his "Worst Films of 2010" video, but called it "so bad it's good".

The video concludes with a sneak peek of a new YouTube series called Gameception.

The Critic goes over more nostalgic commercials after the success of his original Commercials Trilogy.

Commercials reviewed: Chef Boyardee pastas ("Dinosaurs" and "Tic-Tac-Toe" in particular), McDonald's Christmas commercials, Diet Coke (cross-promoting Batman Returns), "I'm a Toys-R-Us Kid" (1982 and '96 versions), Count Chocula, a sexual harassment PSA, Kix, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles VHS (Heroes in a Halfshell), Take Care of Me Twins, several milk PSA's, a Canadian child abuse PSA (girls only), Denny's Red, White and Blue pancakes.

After the credits, the Critic is contacted by Angry Joe to review Man of Steel and Satan reveals he's pregnant. There is also a promo of another YouTube show called That Geeky Gamer.

After a music video between Superman and Batman addressing their similarities, the Critic reviews Man of Steel (2013) along with Angry Joe, both having very different opinions on the film. The Critic criticizes the plot holes, multiple subplots, mixed up story structure, clichéd and repetitive dialogue, performances by Kevin Costner and Michael Shannon, lack of character development, product placement and overwhelming amount of action and destruction. In contrast, Joe counters most of the Critic's criticism, claiming that the film offers a new refreshing take on Superman and makes Superman seem more human and sympathetic. However, they are surprised to find neither of them hate the infamous ending where Superman kills General Zod. Special criticism is reserved for the overuse of symbolism comparing Superman to Jesus.

Sketches in-between have General Zod (played by Doug akin to Terence Stamp's Zod from Superman II) threatening the Critic's life if he does not say he hates the film. In the end, the Critic declares that while he does not like the film, he understands where Joe and other people like it are coming from and respects their opinions, despite not agreeing with them. Zod responds by attacking the Critic, but is thwarted by Superman (Rob Scallon). The review ends with Superman and Batman (also played by Doug) in a café, parodying the web series How It Should Have Ended (whose animated characters also appear).

Note: Doug also reviewed the film with his brother Rob as an episode of Sibling Rivalry, and teased this review in his NC editorial, "Are Superheroes Whiny Little Bitches?". After it was promoted to YouTube it was the first episode in the series to receive over a million views.

The Critic reviews Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights (2002). After apologizing to the Jewish community for the film being the only one to represent Hanukkah, he declares it to be one of the worst holiday specials of all time and one of the worst films he has ever seen, heavily panning Adam Sandler's multiple irritating performances (particularly the high pitched, squeaky voice of Whitey Duvall), unlikable protagonist, Rob Schneider's racially insensitive performance, juvenile humor common for a Happy Madison film, awful musical numbers and product placement, which he is disgusted to see become characters in the film and even apologizes to Man of Steel for making fun of its product placement. However, he praises the film's animation, though he states that it does not fit with the style of the film. Special criticism is reserved for the main character's back story for being too dark and emotional for a comedy, while doing nothing to make the character more sympathetic.

The Critic reviews what he considers to be the worst holiday special ever made, The Christmas Tree (1991), bashing the plot, animation, characters, voice acting, and editing, all of which he believes are overall "horrible". Special criticism is reserved for the rushed, last minute message ("you always win when you are good") having nothing to do with Christmas and the fact that the special is often considered so bad it is good, like The Room (which he claims is actually kinda right), as he feels that anything related to Christmas should put forth more effort. In the end, he shows what Christmas means to him, his crew and his family, including crew members Malcolm Ray, Rachel Tietz and Jim Jarosz, brother Rob and parents Barney and Sandy, though they all botch it up.