List of Nostalgia Critic episodes (2012)

The Critic reviews Santa Claus: The Movie (1985). Although he states it is corny, stupid and has slow movements, criticizing the characters and Dudley Moore's overuse of elf puns, he admits that he likes the film's atmosphere, David Huddleston's performance as Santa Claus and that it feels like there was true effort put into it.

The Critic begins Star Trek Month by reviewing Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) with an introduction and a balanced opinion of the franchise, notifying that the films with the odd numbers received the criticism while the films with the even numbers received the praise. He states that while the ideas are interesting and the effects are good for the time, most of the new characters are underdeveloped and boring, the pacing is painfully slow (particularly the initial reveal of the refit Enterprise and its departure from spacedock), its attempt at capitalizing on the cult following of 2001: A Space Odyssey as an out-of-body experience was fairly out-of-place in something Star Trek related, and the film itself is very boring to watch, agreeing that he can see why the film is often called the "Slow Motion Picture".

The Critic continues Star Trek Month by reviewing Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984). Overall, he says this is not that bad of a movie, but does take note of some plotholes, pacing issues and over the top acting, and can see how it can bore some viewers, he is also stunned by the appearance of actor John Larroquette as a Klingon (leaving The Critic with virtually nothing to say about the actor's presence in the film), but lends high praise to the action scenes, iconic deaths, and following up on its predecessor as well as possible, given the circumstances of it being a tough act to follow.

The Critic continues Star Trek Month by reviewing Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989). While pointing out the interesting ideas regarding how pain makes us who we are, some decent character development, and certain scenes played well, he criticizes the massive plotholes, William Shatner's bizarre decisions on the story, corny humor, and cheap special effects. Special criticism is reserved for the infamous fan-dance by Uhura and for the scene where they sing "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat" and mentioning it again in the film and bringing it back at the end of the movie.

The Critic continues Star Trek Month by reviewing Star Trek Generations (1994). He states that the film is all over the place, with some massive plotholes and very hammy acting, although he does admit that the special effects (such as the Enterprise-D crash) are great, and thinks that they had potential. Special criticism is reserved for the plot point about Data's malfunctioning "emotion chip" and its delivery, along with the "Lifeforms Song". He ends the review stating ecstatically that Star Trek month is almost over, and thus Linkara will not be able to make a cameo. However, ironically, a title card shows that the next episode will be a crossover review with none other than Linkara.

The Critic concludes Star Trek Month by reviewing Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) along with Linkara. The Critic attempts to hide from Linkara at Kami-Con 4 held in Alabama, but is found nonetheless so the Critic gives in. Overall, they personally say that the movie is the weakest Star Trek film, whereas the other odd-numbered films at the very least had one or two memorable moments. They criticize the continuity errors with the show, boring plot, hypocritical characters (primarily due to a poor explanation for the Ba'ku's preference of technology that does not need electricity), the bland Ba'ku woman (in other words, Donna Murphy's performance), poor dialogue, unfunny jokes, uninteresting villains, cartoonish CGI, standard action scenes, and even nativism. At the end, the Critic gives a brief review of Star Trek Nemesis (2002), because it broke the cycle of the Trek films with the odd numbers receiving the criticism and the even numbers receiving the praise, saying that despite there being too much action for Star Trek standards and that the storytelling aspect could have been a little bit better, it is not as bad as people say it is, and he considers it enjoyable and fun to watch (this was mentioned in Doug's Top 10 Movies He Likes But Everybody Else Hates).

The Critic reviews Patch Adams (1998). He finds the movie to be "disgusting" criticizing the overly sappy story, stereotypical characters and corny dialogue. He is especially outraged over how the film does not do justice to the story of the real Hunter "Patch" Adams by having Robin Williams act like a "jackass". Special criticism is reserved for how the female love interest was in fact completely made up for the story and how her murder in the film shows how flawed Williams' practices are, at which point he literally gives the movie a whipping and flips the bird at it.

Doug Walker later put it at #11 on both of his "Favorite Nostalgia Critic Episodes" and "Worst Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed" lists, where he confessed to being really skeptical about the time period it took place in, and stingy about historical fiction in general, in addition to growing tired of the films Robin Williams was making back then. However, after he died in 2014, Doug Walker as himself did a farewell video for the comedian and said that he was a major inspiration of comedy for his reviews.

For his 200th episode, the Critic reviews Ponyo (2008) at Anime Milwaukee, which comically angers several fans. He cites that the film is indeed very good, but points out some goofy elements and things it could do without, like an "end-of-the-world" plot device, Sosuke's mother Lisa's needlessly reckless driving and Ponyo's ham craving. He also criticizes Liam Neeson's bland performance. Throughout the review, he struggles to avoid making a joke about 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami as the film takes place during and after a tsunami. Special guest appearances include Little Kuriboh, Spike Spencer and Uncle Yo, who all come into his hotel room to beat him up for making fun of Hayao Miyazaki. He manages to calm down the fans at the convention, only to get beaten up by them and the Angry Video Game Nerd when he admits his dislike for Howl's Moving Castle.

According to his Facebook page, Walker's actual opinion on HMC is that it is the weakest of Miyazaki's films, with a very weak story, but he enjoyed it for the usual creativity.

The Critic reviews Dunston Checks In (1996). He criticizes the unfunny jokes, tired clichés, casting of Jason Alexander and performances of Faye Dunaway and Rupert Everett. He does however admit that a few scenes are funny, and Paul Reubens is the only actor making an effort.

The Critic reviews Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000). He criticizes the casting of Mara Wilson, Alec Baldwin and Peter Fonda and their performances. He also criticizes Thomas' lack of screentime, the overly complicated plot and very poor special effects. He also gives brief mention to a shot in which Baldwin's character sticks out his middle finger while reaching for a pair of shears. Throughout the video, the Critic uses the quote "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle", which is first used by Baldwin in the film. It has become one of the Critic's well-known gags.

The Critic goes over eleven more mistakes made with Douchy McNitpick over the last five years:

11. The mistakes made in his Disneycember reviews.
10. Suggesting that psychiatrists don't attend medical school in Patch Adams when they actually do.
9. Reviewing Thomas and the Magic Railroad without ever seeing the show.
8. Not realizing that the floor in Pee-Wee's Playhouse did talk in The Top 11 Mindfucks (and had a name: Floory).
7. Not realizing why Soran could not use a ship or shuttle to reach the Nexus in Star Trek: Generations.
6. Calling Dunston a monkey when an orangutan is actually an ape.(the Critic claims he did it because he finds "monkey" to be funnier than "ape")
5. Not knowing that tapping on windows does cause pain for orcas in Free Willy.
4. Mistaking a pot for a pan in Gordy. (NOTE: Although not mentioned in the list, this error was corrected shortly after the episode was uploaded.)
3. His Let's Play of Bart's Nightmare.
2. Saying Bella pressured Edward into marrying her when it was vice versa in The Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress.
1. Saying that the planet Psychlo's air is extremely radioactive, when it actually reacts violently with radiation in Battlefield Earth.

The Critic reviews Richie Rich (1994). While admitting that it is not the worst of Macaulay Culkin's films, giving credit to some memorable moments and finding the character played by Jonathan Hyde to be likable, he finds the main character incredibly bland, characters with lack of personality, and the film is just banking on Culkin's popularity.

Stylizing the review as a nature documentary, the Critic reviews Jungle 2 Jungle (1997). He criticizes the unfunny and violent nature of the film, illogical story, animal cruelty and overly mature subject matter (the stock market, divorce and the Russian mafia), all of which he finds inappropriate for a Disney film. Special criticism is reserved for two scenes: when Mimi-Siku refers to a girl as an "angel", and a scene where a pigeon is killed by an arrow through its neck.

The Critic compares Manhunter (1986) and Red Dragon (2002).

Best Will Graham: William Petersen for Manhunter
Best Tooth Fairy: Tom Noonan for Manhunter
Best Hannibal Lecter: Anthony Hopkins for Red Dragon
Best Supporting Cast: Red Dragon (focused mostly on Emily Watson)
Best Story: Red Dragon
Red Dragon wins over Manhunter, 3-2. He says that he likes both films and recommends them, but the former film works better overall in telling a more cohesive story.

The Critic reviews Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985) with Bennett the Sage. While they admit the animation can be good at times, they criticize the violent and sexual nature of the film, half-baked plot ideas and constant rip-offs of the original Star Wars trilogy, particularly characters. Special criticism is reserved for a scene where the smuggler Dag reprograms a fembot through a circuit panel in her "posterior", causing her to develop sexual behavior and the film being distributed by Atlantic Releasing (which produced The Garbage Pail Kids Movie).

The Critic reviews the first three episodes of The Transformers at Anime St. Louis in the guise of Optimus Prime. He questions the choices made in the Transformers films by Michael Bay, and looks over the cartoon. Despite it being somewhat dated, having some silly moments, Starscream's constant betrayals of Megatron, and his dislike of Scatman Crothers (Comparing his acting voice to Bill Cosby) portraying Jazz, he praises the action scenes, the surprisingly good story, how well it knows its audience, and the effort put into it and still considers it to hold up. Brad Jones, host of the Cinema Snob, filmed this episode and appears as Optimus' agent.

The Critic reviews A Simple Wish (1997). While crediting the scenes featuring Mara Wilson's character and her father, he criticizes Martin Short's attempts at humor and his character's total incompetence, the nonsensical plot, bad effects and lack of focus. At the end, Mara Wilson herself appears and takes revenge on the Critic's recent treatment of her past work with embarrassing home videos of his childhood.

Note: Mara Wilson also made an appearance in Lindsay Ellis' review of Matilda, a film Wilson had also starred in as a child.
Doug would later list it as his 4th favorite episode, and Wilson's appearance as his favorite joke of the show.

Channel Awesome Tag:: Mara Wilson: "You're a regular Daniel Day-Lewis."

The Critic promotes the releases of The Avengers and Prometheus by reviewing Alien Resurrection (1997). While crediting some good effects, he considers the film to be a way for the filmmakers to show that the franchise could end with a much worse film than Alien 3, criticizing the plotholes, Brad Dourif's performance, strange side effects of Ripley's possession by one of the aliens, terrible security, stupid characters, Winona Ryder's stroppy, childish acting, goofy scenes, illogical script, and Ripley's implied lesbianism.

The Critic reviews Jack (1996). While crediting some touching scenes, he finds the major problem with the film to be that it does not portray the effects of the disease Robin Williams's character has well, heavily criticizing the nature of Jack, who mentally is 10 years old but acts like he is five. He is shocked that Francis Ford Coppola directed the movie, and criticizes Fran Drescher's poor vocal effects, the hypocrisy of Jack fitting in though he is different and taunting girls because they are different, the annoying soundtrack, and Jack's speech at the end (which he says is identical to all Robin Williams speeches).

The Critic reviews Heavy Metal (1981) with Diamanda Hagan. While admitting that the soundtrack and animation can be nice and that the designs and ideas can be creative, they criticize the strange story and the fact that each anthology story makes little sense and often has no resolution. However, Diamanda did enjoy the B-17 story (or at least the story's concept) while the Critic thought Taarna was the most interesting character in the movie despite having no dialogue, and finds a car flying through space to be quite awesome. CR makes a surprise cameo at the end.

Note: At the beginning of the review, the Critic mentions to Chester A. Bum that he thought he would be doing a crossover with JesuOtaku. Four reviews later, the Critic actually did a crossover with JesuOtaku on Digimon: The Movie.

The Critic reviews Mr. Magoo (1997). Already disliking the cartoon on which it was based, he criticizes the blindness-derived humor as being too one-note, the apparent violation of dead animals, Jennifer Garner's presence, the offensive ethnic stereotypes, Leslie Nielsen's boring performance, and attempts at slapstick that he actually finds dangerous. However, he does give credit to some creative stunts, and believes that Ernie Hudson is the only actor of note. Special criticism is reserved for a statement closing of the film saying it did not mean to offend the visually-impaired, which he finds hypocritical given the subject matter of the film and the fact the writing is in tiny letters, which the visually impaired would probably not be able to read anyway.

The Critic lists his top 11 episodes of The Simpsons.

11. Deep Space Homer
10. Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
9. Homer's Enemy
8. Cape Feare
7. Homer at the Bat
6. 22 Short Films About Springfield
5. Marge vs. the Monorail
4. Homer the Great
3. Lisa's Wedding
2. Every Treehouse of Horror episode
1. Bart Gets an F

Runners up include Lisa on Ice, Blood Feud, Who Shot Mr. Burns, Rosebud, and Mother Simpson.

The Critic reviews Signs (2002). After expressing sympathy for M. Night Shyamalan, feeling he peaked too early in his career, he fails to understand why it was praised by many, criticizing the stupid characters, the writing, plotholes, unnecessary panning shots, the children and adults talking like each other, the constant whispering of lines, the lackluster twist ending, the behavior of several characters, the moral and lack of logic. Special criticism is reserved for the aliens' weaknesses being wooden doors (especially when one considers the fact it made Charlie Sheen right in Scary Movie 3) and water.

Note: In an earlier out-of-character video, Walker placed this movie at #5 in his list of "Top 10 Films He Hates But Everyone Else Loves".

After the Critic had got so many requests to review Digimon: The Movie (2000), he decided that he cannot do it unless he gets the help of JesuOtaku, who is a fan of Digimon. After 3 failed attempts to do so via Bat-Signal which are: no clouds in the sky to light said signal, doing it when in daytime, and accidentally getting Angry Joe(in which he gave hin JO's number to call her, resulting in the crossover the Critic planned to do), The review opens on criticism for a four-minute cameo of the cast from Angela Anaconda promoting the film; they also criticize this film for its creepy animation, shameless self-promotion, and dragging down the pace of the movie. They criticize the bad jokes, weird exposition, stupid opening rap, lack of development, pacing issues, little to no explanations to those unfamiliar with the show (like the Critic), and the usage of random 90's music. Special criticism is reserved for a disturbing facial expression Tai gives upon seeing a postcard from Mimi on a vacation in Hawaii.

The Critic lists his top 11 most awesome film themes.

11. The Fellowship theme from The Lord of the Rings (Howard Shore)
10. James Bond Theme (written by Monty Norman and adapted by John Barry, George Martin, Marvin Hamlisch, Bill Conti, Michael Kamen, Éric Serra, David Arnold, & Thomas Newman)
9. Theme from Mission: Impossible (Lalo Schifrin), as it appears in the first film (adapted & conducted by Danny Elfman)
8. The Terminator Theme (Brad Fiedel) as it appears in Terminator 2: Judgment Day
7. Tie between Raiders March (the Indiana Jones theme) and Superman Main Theme (both John Williams)
6. Theme from Pirates of the Caribbean (Hans Zimmer and Klaus Badelt)
5. Techno Syndrome (Mortal Kombat) from Mortal Kombat (The Immortals)
4. Gonna Fly Now from Rocky (Bill Conti, Carol Connors, Ayn Robbins)
3. The Batman theme (Danny Elfman)
2. "Riders of Doom" from Conan the Barbarian (Basil Poledouris)
1. Theme from Back to the Future (Alan Silvestri)

Runners up include Transformers, Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Shaft.

The Critic reviews Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) at ConnectiCon in Hartford, Connecticut, in a similar voice-over style to his review of the previous movie Baby Geniuses. He criticizes Jon Voight's performance, poor lip-synching (though admits it has improved), celebrity cameos, inconsistent special effects and plotholes, but gives credit to the twist of Voight's character, and states that, while the film is still terrible, it is a slight improvement over its predecessor, because at very least it has some creativity. Throughout the review, comedy musician brentalfloss and comedian Uncle Yo try to snap the Critic out of his comatose state, going so far as to use his body as a puppet to fool the audience at a Q&A panel. The review ends with Critic, brentalfloss and Uncle Yo reading 50 Shades of Grey with Team Four Star members Antfish, Lanipator, and Takahata101.

The Critic reviews Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984), all the while joined by the cast of Brad Jones' (The Cinema Snob) sitcom parody 80s Dan (Jones, Jillian Zurawski, Sarah Lewis, Brian Lewis and the voice of Jake Norvell). He fails to understand why so many people called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the worst movie in the series and never said anything about this film, heavily criticizing Kate Capshaw and Jonathan Ke Quan's annoying performances (even revising his Dumbasses In Distress list), the campy and unpleasant nature, stereotypical characters, plotholes and bad choreography, though he does give a pass on the infamous culturally insensitive Indian dinner scene and the scene where a possessed Indiana Jones slaps Short Round. However, he does like the movie's mine car chase and does agree with 80s Dan that while the film is technically bad, whether or not it is the worst in the series is debatable, and that it is at least memorable and that it at least took risks, while the 80's Dan cast, who defended the film for those reasons, personally found Kingdom of the Crystal Skull more safe and forgettable in comparison.

The Critic reviews The Wiz (1978) along with Todd in the Shadows. After Todd proposes they review Moonwalker, Cool as Ice, and Glitter (which the Critic has reviewed the two former and Todd the latter), they criticize the changes to both the original musical play and the source material, Joel Schumacher's involvement writing the script, depressing depiction of Oz, constant use of unnecessary wide and distant shots, poor set designs, Diana Ross's acting and having far too many songs, (although they praise some of them, particularly the Wicked Witch's song, "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News"). They complained that Michael Jackson, who being a huge star at the time, only had one song to himself with no dancing which is a waste of his talents, while Nipsey Russell had two songs in a row which they criticized his singing and find that musicals aren't Sidney Lumet's thing. Special criticism is reserved for the anticlimactic execution of the Wicked Witch of the West's demise, with just a sprinkler system in the building activated by an easily accessible fire alarm.

The Critic reviews Total Recall (1990) along with That Sci-Fi Guy in response to its recent remake. They consider it a solid movie, praising the story and visual practical effects, though noting that it does have some goofy moments, and the usual overacting expected from Arnold Schwarzenegger. They also argue over the ending of the film, with the Critic convinced that it is real and Sci-Fi Guy convinced that it is a dream (though the Critic admits that he does not actually care and was just enjoying screwing with Sci-Fi Guy). In the end, the Critic, after muting Sci-Fi Guy, admits that it has all the fun of a bad movie without actually being bad.

The Critic, along with its past and future versions, reviews Scooby-Doo (2002). The film is criticized for failing to be both a satire or even an homage to the source material with bad jokes and effects, misguided storytelling that even unlike the series uses supernatural elements, mean-spirited moments, and the characters being nothing like in the original series, wasting Isla Fisher and Rowan Atkinson's talents. Special criticism is reserved for the revelation that Scrappy Doo is the villain, particularly in how poorly it is handled comedically and how out-of-character it was for Scrappy to be evil (along with the characters abandoning him). In later commentary, he did admit he liked Matthew Lillard's performance, admitting that in general, the cast worked with what they had.

Sketches in-between the review have the Critic reuniting with his guardian angel Roger in Purgatory, and an ending parodying the Star Trek: The Next Generation finale "All Good Things..." having the Critic playing poker with Dino-Rob, 80s Dan, and the Ghost of Christmas Future. Note: On Facebook, Doug Walker asked people what he should review for this episode.^[3] One often requested film was Small Soldiers. He watched it and wrote on Facebook that "while it was bad, I couldn't really find enough to make a funny review."^[4] This was originally intended to be the series finale, before Doug Walker decided to revive The Nostalgia Critic in early 2013. Doug would later go on to review Small Soldiers on August 12th, 2014.