List of The Nostalgia Critic episodes (season 3)

The Critic reviews End of Days (1999). He criticizes the plethora of plot holes, lackluster action, lack of horror, over-the-top science, farfetched mathematical clues, and considers that the premise of Schwarzenegger fighting Satan had more potential.

The Critic celebrates his 100th episode by doing a clip show, but the clip of the past NC and Ma-Ti from his Captain Planet review get mad at him and past Ma-Ti tells him to review the much-requested Battlefield Earth (2000). In a review that features appearances by the villain of the movie, Terl (played by Noah "Spoony" Antwiler), the Critic heavily criticizes the numerous poor plot points, inconsistencies, characters, constant use of angled camera shots and curtain wipes, John Travolta's over-the-top goofy acting, and the overall stupidity of the film's premise. Special criticism is reserved for the complete incompetence of the alien antagonists, the Psychlos, and the supposed unrealism of the climactic end battle, where a nuclear bomb sent to the Psychlo homeworld would create a chain reaction and detonate the planet. At the end of the review Terl vows revenge on the Critic, only to die a few seconds later when someone lights a cigarette on the Psychlo homeworld, causing it to explode.

Note: Beginning with this episode, the best or worst line of the film reviewed is heard over the Channel Awesome logo.

Note: While preparing for the 100th episode, Doug had the choice of reviewing either Battlefield Earth or Turtles Forever. After viewing Turtles Forever, he found it to be a very good film, and thus chose Battlefield Earth.

The Critic reviews Bébé's Kids (1992). Although he admits that he liked the film when he was younger, praises the animation and feels that the movie does take risks, he criticizes the pointless moments, ignoring its own plot, constant rap music that seems too improvised, and the character of Robin Harris being portrayed as a poor father figure when he is simultaneously shown as mean-spirited. Major note is given regarding their lack of knowledge as to how to pronounce Tone Loc, voice of Pee-Wee. The fact that Pee-Wee, being an infant, is voiced by an adult and given a mature personality is also criticized.

The Critic reviews Lost in Space (1998). He claims that the film is worse than the original television series, as bad as Batman & Robin (both of which were written by Akiva Goldsman), and one of the worst he has seen. He criticizes the dull acting of William Hurt and Matt LeBlanc, the squeaky-voiced acting of Lacey Chabert, the bad script, the horrible comedic timing, the bizarre set designs and is surprised that no one seems to realize that Gary Oldman's character is a villain.

Note: This episode is the debut of the Dr. Spider Smith character who appears in other Nostalgia Critic episodes.

The Critic lists the top 11 best villain songs:

11. "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
10. "Shiver My Timbers" from Muppet Treasure Island
9. "Friends on the Other Side" from The Princess and the Frog
8. "Pretty Women" from Sweeney Todd
7. Tie between "Sweet Transvestite" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and "Dentist!" from Little Shop of Horrors
6. "In the Dark of the Night" from Anastasia
5. "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid
4. "Cell Block Tango" ("He Had It Comin") from Chicago
3. "Be Prepared" from The Lion King
2. "Secret of Survival" from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
1. "Hellfire" from The Hunchback of Notre Dame

At the end of the countdown, he reveals that his next review will be of Quest for Camelot, much to his chagrin.

Note: The song that plays at the beginning of the episode and during the transitions is "Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil Song)" by Voltaire.

The Critic reviews Quest for Camelot (1998). He criticizes the film for lacking any true connection to the Arthurian Legend, the horrendous songs (with the exception of the hit song "The Prayer", which the Critic is shocked to find out it came from this film), the bad jokes, the plot hole-filled story without much explanation to the events, the heroine who is in reality a damsel in distress, questions Gary Oldman's casting and the ripping off of films such as Beauty and the Beast, The NeverEnding Story and Dirty Harry.

The Critic compares The Nutty Professor (1963) and The Nutty Professor (1996).

Best Story: 1996 Remake
Best Supporting Cast: 1963 Original
Best Professor: Eddie Murphy The remake wins over the original: 2-1.

The Critic reviews Bio-Dome (1996). He considers it one of the worst movies he has ever reviewed, attacking Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin's obnoxious performances, Joey Lauren Adams's annoying acting, unfunny gags, and complete lack of story structure or substance. Special criticism is reserved for a scene in which a clown is shot dead, causing the Critic to conclude that the film is trying to literally kill comedy. The only real positive that he notes is Tenacious D briefly showing up to give a performance, and even he says that they have far too little screentime. Walker later placed the movie at #5 on his "Worst Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed" list.

The Critic reviews The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990). He criticizes the plot for being a heartless and watered-down rehash of the first movie, which is one of his favorite family films. Special criticism is reserved for the character portrayal of Bastian, as he is baffled at him being a coward and making idiotic choices regarding his ability to wish for whatever he desires.

The Critic lists the top 11 most awkward moments involving Christopher Walken:

11. Threatening a fire extinguisher as a janitor named Clem in Joe Dirt
10. The pie scene from Gigli
9. His role as Vince Magnotta in the video game Ripper
8. His role as the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow
7. The abduction scene in Communion
6. Any of his dancing sequences (notably the "Weapon of Choice" music video)
5. Reading Three Little Pigs to a live audience
4. His role as Reed Thimple the banker in The Country Bears
3. His role as Duane in Annie Hall
2. His role as Captain Koons in the watch scene from Pulp Fiction
1. Every one of his appearances on SNL

The Critic reviews Flubber (1997). He criticizes the overuse of slapstick, Robin Williams' portrayal as a neglective fiancé, plotholes and creepy subplot of a robot being attracted to its creator. He is also baffled that John Hughes wrote this, but at the end of the episode finds an even worse work of his for the next episode.

The Critic reviews Home Alone 3 (1997). He complains that the film has nothing to do with the original Home Alone or its characters, despite bearing the title and plot structure, finds none of the gags amusing, and the script poor; with a completely different cast of very stupid/unlikable characters. He is also shocked by how corporate espionage gets entangled with the Home Alone series.

The Critic compares King Kong (1933) and King Kong (2005).

Best Leading Lady: 2005 Remake (Naomi Watts) - He found Watts' portrayal stronger, more interesting and took more risks.
Best Supporting Cast: 1933 Original - He credits the original for the performances of Bruce Cabot and Robert Armstrong while stating in the remake, Adrien Brody is boring and Jack Black is too obvious as a crazed director.
Best Visuals: 2005 Remake - While he highly praises the creative effects of the original, he admits that the CGI effects in the remake look more realistic.
Best Kong: 1933 Original - While he likes both Kongs, he feels the remake is more a performance than an actual animal(mostly because Kong is modeled after a real actor)
Best Story: 1933 Original - He says the original is right to the point with no tricks or Avant garde.
The original wins over the remake: 3-2.
At the end of the video, the Critic announces his next review will be of Drop Dead Fred, which he describes as "a movie so bad, that it will make you flip out of your skull".

The Critic reviews Drop Dead Fred (1991). He criticizes Rik Mayall's obnoxious performance, as well as the absurd plot and unfunny jokes, and feeling that Phoebe Cates, along with everyone else in the movie, is completely insane; he's also convinced that this was supposed to be a horror movie. Walker later put it at #2 on his list of "Worst Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed" list.

The Critic reviews The Care Bears Movie (1985). He does find that, in general, the film is harmless for young audiences, but complains about heavy-handed cuteness, blatant advertising of the toyline, the song sequences and some plot holes. He does compliment the villains of the film, stating that they pose a surprisingly genuine threat.

The Critic reviews Jaws 3-D (1983). He finds the 3-D (which the DVD lacks) very poorly executed, the effects cheap and unconvincing, the plot insanely dumb, and considers the film generally unscary.

The Critic reviews Free Willy (1993). While he does not view the film as terrible, he considers that it is too similar to previous movies of a boy bonding with an animal, with hammy acting, cliched villain and some very annoying plot elements. At one point, the Critic states that he believes that the only reason this movie was popular was because Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" was part of the film's soundtrack. However he does like a scene involving a henchman eating popcorn, due to its sinister delivery.

The Critic reviews A Troll in Central Park (1994). The video starts with him pacing in anger, infuriated at how bad the film is. In the review, he considers it as the worst by Don Bluth, criticizing the characters, intelligence-insulting childishness, huge amount of filler and pandering, lack of lessons worth learning, and ending. Special criticism is reserved for the major theme that dreams come true just by dreaming, which he considers both a terrible lesson for kids and thoroughly insulting to the audience's intelligence.

The Critic reviews Theodore Rex (1996). He finds the movie to be hard to comprehend, and criticizes the poor animatronics, bad editing, Richard Roundtree and Bud Cort's presence and annoying running gags.

The Critic lists the top 11 coolest clichés:

11. Holding a gun sideways (gangster style)
10. The sexy cry (crying with a single tear while conveying no emotion otherwise)
9. A character's past
8. A dramatic choir
7. Jousting (mano a mano)
6. Items blowing in the wind
5. Explosions from a few feet away
4. Shouting "No!" ("Nooooooooo!")
3. Evil laughter
2. Walking in a straight line (or in groups)
1. Slow-motion

The Critic reviews Hook (1991). He likes the film, but makes fun of it for its third act, plotholes, some sub-par acting, and dialogue. He is also shocked by the cameos of Phil Collins, George Lucas and Carrie Fisher.

In the spirit of the Fourth of July, the Critic reviews Independence Day (1996). He states that he's part of a small minority who dislikes the movie criticizing the lame clichés, unoriginality, plotholes, the acting (mainly from Judd Hirsch, Robert Loggia, Randy Quaid, Brent Spiner, That-Guy-From-Mrs.Doubtfire, Harry Connick Jr and Jeff Goldblum) and predictable outcomes. However, he praises the explosions, special effects and Will Smith's performance, and states that he actually enjoyed the film when he first saw it.

The Critic reviews The Phantom (1996). He considers the film as standard, criticizing the bland portrayal of the protagonist, the hero's purple costume and similarities to Indiana Jones (which the Critic later attributes to the film and Last Crusade having the same writer, a fact he is surprised to learn). However, he enjoys the scenes with his favorite actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones.

The Critic reviews Zeus and Roxanne (1997). He discusses the absolute absurdity of the plot and that the human characters get much more screen time than the animals, with special criticism for Steve Guttenberg's acting.

The Critic pays tribute to the Animaniacs (1993-98). In a three-part special, he interviews Tom Ruegger, Sherri Stoner, Nathan Ruegger, Paul Rugg, and John P. McCann, the writers and voice actors of Animaniacs. Doug Walker later put this video as his #10 favorite Nostalgia Critic episode.

Note: This is the longest Nostalgia Critic episode to date.

The Critic reviews The Flintstones (1994). Already hating the original cartoon, he bashes the film's pointless moments, plotholes, inconsistencies, Halle Berry's inappropriately sexy outfit and performance, fake-looking props, and bad puns. However, he does find the sets to be creative. Special criticism is reserved for the casting of Rosie O'Donnell as Betty Rubble.

The Critic reviews Mr. Nanny (1993). He finds only very few jokes to be funny and the overall movie ridiculous, with its obvious ripping-off of other movies such as Home Alone. He also points out its stereotypical characters and finds the children considerably cruel, and questions why the children do not use their cruelty tactics to get revenge on bullies.

Note: The Scary Slow-Mo gag is introduced.

The Critic reviews Rocky IV (1985). He considers it as the weirdest of the Rocky films, with a tendency to jump the shark and some corny performances, but finds the film enjoyable.

The Critic reviews Chairman of the Board (1998). He finds the movie unfunny, with weird cinematography, ripping-off the plot from the Flintstones movie, predictable jokes, and the constant appearance and disappearance of Raquel Welch. He feels that the only redeemable factor of the film is Larry Miller's performance, and points out that despite his bad performance in this movie, Carrot Top can be very funny with the right material.

Douchey McNitpick returns as the Critic lists the biggest mistakes that he has made in his videos since his last "Fuck-Ups" video:

11. Not providing an explanation as to why his Old Vs. New: War of the Worlds video has not been posted. (He found both the 1953 original and 2005 remake underwhelming, and so cancelled the episode).
10. Mistaking a Georgian-era dress for a Victorian-era dress in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. (Despite Linkara technically making the mistake while the Critic only made a joke about it).
9. Not realizing why Mr. Freeze could not cure his wife in Batman & Robin.
8. Mispronouncing actor's names (notably Mako).
7. Referring to Chernabog in Fantasia as The Devil in his Top 11 Disney Villains countdown. (He still defends his claim of naming it The Devil).
6. Providing the wrong reason why the mother from Full House died. (He said that she died from a disease when she was actually killed in a car accident).
5. Not realizing that dolphins can actually "punch" in real life by ramming things with their snouts, as seen in Zeus and Roxanne (he still finds the way it was shown to be silly and unrealistic).
4. Not realizing that Quest for Camelot did explain some things throughout. (He still lists several unexplained inconsistencies and finds the ones that are explained are done so very poorly; e.g. the plants in the forest being able to move because it was enchanted).
3. Mistaking Jim Cummings for Christopher Lloyd and Jeremy Irons singing in the Top 11 Villain Songs (though he defends that the mistake actually praises Cummings for his flawless imitation of the two voices).
2. Saying that 9+9+9=21 (when it is actually 27) in the End of Days review.
1. Making a joke about Autism in Ernest Saves Christmas. (He made the joke as a gamble, and did not think that it was funny from the start, so he removed it from the video).

The Critic reviews Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw (1988). He comments that the movie has little to nothing to do with the toy line or the TV series on which it is based, and that the film itself is a total mess, with boring and poorly developed characters, a weak script, even weaker animation, and dreadful musical numbers.

The Critic reviews The Pebble and the Penguin (1995). He considers it to be the least bad of Don Bluth's worst films, praising the voice acting and saying that the oddities almost work, but is bothered by the character designs, animation, and general inaccuracies. Special criticism is reserved for the excessive and pointless musical numbers (one of which drives him to attempt suicide), as well as the considerably harsh death of the antagonist.

The Critic kicks off Nostalgia-Ween with a review of Ernest Scared Stupid (1991). He says that it is by far the weakest of the theatrically released Ernest films, being neither funny nor scary, and generally predictable. However, he does compliment one joke.

The Critic lists the top 11 scariest performances:

11. Bill Sikes (Oliver Reed) from Oliver! (1968) (because he say's he's a bastard due to the fact he kidnaps children, steals from the wealthy and even beats his girlfriend to death and that even calling his dog is scary)
10. T-1000 (Robert Patrick) from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) (because Patrick, unlike Arnold, looks like a regular human being, the fact that he's trying to kill a kid, which is much more frightening then trying to kill and older woman and he can turn into anyone and anything)
9. Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) from Misery (1990)
8. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) from Red Dragon (2002) (but he also gives credit to Silence of the Lambs (1991) because people say it's scarier when an evil person loves you as opposed to hates you, he also takes the time to give Special Criticism to Hannibal (2001) for the scene with Ray Liotta's character's skull open, exposing his brain and Lecter touching it with a spoon)
7. Alex (Malcolm McDowell) from A Clockwork Orange (1971)
6. Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) from Psycho (1960)
5. The Gemini Killer (Jason Miller and Brad Dourif) from The Exorcist III (1990)
4. Joker (Heath Ledger) from The Dark Knight (2008)
3. Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) from No Country for Old Men (2007)
2. Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) from The Exorcist (1973)
1. HAL 9000 (Douglas Rain) from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

The Critic reviews It (1990), and while he notes that it has a reputation as one of the better Stephen King adaptations, he ultimately deems it to be terrible. He criticizes the plotholes, melodrama, characters who are cruel for no reason, overuse of flashbacks, and all the stereotypes and cliches done in each of King's stories (which he mocks by playing a drinking game about them), but praises the acting of the children and Tim Curry. However, he questions why others find Curry's performance so frightening, due to his silly nature as well as never harming the main characters despite having numerous chances to do so. Special criticism is reserved for "Its" true form being a massive, spider-like creature, which he lambasts due to its design looking too ridiculous and cartoonish to be scary.

The Critic concludes Nostalgia-Ween with a review of Leprechaun (1993) alongside The Cinema Snob. They discuss how unrealistic it is to find a leprechaun scary, the silly plot and unbelievably bad performances from Jennifer Aniston and others.

The Critic reviews My Pet Monster (1986). He mocks the possible homosexual crush one of the kids have with their friend and criticizes the fact that the monster in the movie looks nothing like the one on the VHS case (which is the actual toy, much to the Critic's surprise), as well as the characters, lazily written plot and shockingly scary ending. The episode ends with the Critic calling the director of the film to ask him what he was thinking when he made the movie. The director criticizes what the Critic does, and the episode ends on a cliffhanger, with him reassessing his view on life, thinking whether or not to continue reviewing films.

The Critic, in a state of depression from his previous review, begins the video sitting in front of his TV watching nostalgic TV shows and commercials. He decides to take a break from TV shows and movies and takes a look at some old commercials. Afterwards, in a parody of the "Poor Jack" scene from The Nightmare Before Christmas, he decides to continue with his reviews after all. The video, along with the other commercial videos, was listed at #5 on the retrospective "Top 11 Best Nostalgia Critic Episodes".

Commercials reviewed: Sgt. Slaughter action figures, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pie, Apple Jacks '94, Popples, Giggles Cookies, Crossfire, Santa Hotline, Fruity Pebbles Christmas, Nintendo Cereal System, He-Man Burger King Kid's Meals, Glewell Construction Toys, Insecticons, Connect Four, Chia Pet, Micro Machines, Ecto Cooler, Wet Banana, Fraggle Rock Books, Magic Potty Baby.

The Critic compares The Ten Commandments (1956) to The Prince of Egypt (1998).

Best Moses: Charlton Heston - He points out that Heston seemed for confident and seemed more like a natural leader.
Best Ramses: Ralph Fiennes - He says the remake portrays Ramses as more tragic, therefore, more sympathetic, unlike the cold-hearted Ramses in the original.
Best Supporting Cast: The Ten Commandments - He feels the original had more interesting characters, especially Ramses' wife, who is absent in the remake.
Best God: Val Kilmer - He prefers the warm, loving version in the remake as opposed to the powerful, intimidating version in the original.
Best Story: The Prince of Egypt - He says the remake is more clever in certain areas and focuses on the relationship of the brothers where the original does not. The Prince of Egypt wins over The Ten Commandments: 3-2.

The Critic reviews the Miramax version of The Thief and the Cobbler (1995). He criticizes the constant use of inner-monologue and unnecessary narration by Matthew Broderick and Jonathan Winters throughout the film, inconsistent editing, bland songs, and finds the character of the princess blatantly unoriginal. He does however praise the creativity and surreal nature of the animation at times. At the end he goes on to recommend the "Re-Cobbled Cut" of the film instead, as it presents the animation and story with more dignity than the Miramax release.

The Critic reviews Waterworld (1995). He considers it an average but enjoyable film that is not as bad as its reputation goes, applauding Dennis Hopper's performance, the action scenes and attention to detail in the contraptions. However, he complains about Kevin Costner's acting, Tina Majorino's character Enola, the lack of an explanation for a tribe's animosity towards humans with gills, and some plotholes.

The Critic reviews Little Monsters (1989). He criticizes the poorly written plot, unexplained story elements, mean-spirited characters, nasty jokes, depressing and miserable tone, and overly scary monsters. Special criticism is reserved for the set design of the world of monsters, which he calls a letdown due to the buildup, and for a scene where parents cruelly blame their own children for Brian and Maurice's insane pranks. Walker later placed the film at #3 on his "Worst Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed" list.

The Critic reviews Rover Dangerfield (1991). While praising the animation, he considers the film a poor attempt for Rodney Dangerfield to write a children's film, and complains about Rover's character, the clumsy plot, musical numbers, occasionally dark overtones and constant use of bad jokes and one-liners.

In a parody of It's a Wonderful Life, the Critic, sick of reviewing nostalgic material, quits his job, vowing to never do another Nostalgia Critic video again. He is visited by a guardian angel, named Roger, who shows him how his life would be if he had never existed. However, to the Critic's dismay, everyone's lives are better. The Cinema Snob is a pornographic film star, the Nostalgia Chick is a famous film director, Spoony has taken over the Critic's job, Douchey McNitpick was significantly kinder and more friendly, Linkara owns Marvel and DC Comics, and Angry Joe is president of the United States. At first this saddens the Critic, but upon realizing that he has made his own life better, he decides to return to work. However, Roger, upon learning how much better his own life would be without the Critic, tries to kill him. The Critic defeats his guardian angel by shooting him to death (With the angel realizing that God lied to him and that angels can be hurt, and thus, contradicting the Ten Commandments) and returns to his work, to the dismay of his fellow reviewers.

The Critic reviews the first five episodes of the 1987 Ninja Turtles series. Overall, he feels that the show is aged, criticizing various mistakes and silly moments, but still enjoys it for its clever fourth wall jokes and animation on the action scenes.