Esther Perel

Esther Perel
Born 1958 (age 56–57)
Antwerp, Belgium
Nationality Belgian
Fields Psychotherapy, author
Institutions Family Studies Unit
Department of Psychiatry
New York University Medical Center
International Trauma Studies Program
Columbia University
Known for

Mating in Captivity (2006)

Erotic Intelligence

Esther Perel is an observer of the social and cultural patterns shaping our relationships. A Belgian native, she is fluent in nine languages and works as a practicing psychotherapist, organizational consultant, best-selling author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, and speaker.[1]

Early life

Perel grew up amongst Holocaust survivors in Antwerp, Belgium, and noted two groups around her: "those who didn't die, and those who came back to life." Her observation was that "those who didn't die were people who lived tethered to the ground, afraid, untrusting. The world was dangerous, and pleasure was not an option. You cannot play, take risks, or be creative when you don't have a minimum of safety, because you need a level of unself-consciousness to be able to experience excitement and pleasure. Those who came back to life were those who understood eroticism as an antidote to death."

Professional career

Perel trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy before finding a professional home in family systems theory. She initially worked as a cross-cultural psychologist with couples and families.

Perel has a thirty-year therapy practice in New York City. She also serves on the faculties of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center and of The International Trauma Studies Program. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT certified sex therapist, a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Her innovative model for building strong and lasting relationships has been widely featured in the international press, and Esther has multilingual publications across four continents.

Perel is most notable for exploring the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for adventure (desire, freedom and distance) in human relationships.

Her first book, Mating in Captivity (Harper Collins, 2006), is an international best seller and has been translated into 24 languages. Mating in Captivity introduced the inherent conflict in even successful marriages between emotionally safe but boring intimacy and thrilling but potentially risky, eroticism, love, and lust.[2] Since its release, Perel is recognized as one of the world’s most original and insightful thinkers about couples, sexuality, and the peculiar paradoxes besetting modern marriage in the Western world.[3]

In February 2013, Esther recorded a TEDx Salon talk that has had over 5.5 million views. Her talk, the “Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship”,[4] had one million hits in the first two weeks it was posted, taking on an apparent epidemic of low-libido marriages in what is theoretically the least repressed era in modern history. (That may be part of the problem: “How can you desire what you already have?”, Perel often asks in her talks.[5])

Personal life

Perel is married to Jack Saul, Assistant Professor of Clinical of Population and Family Health at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health [6] and has two sons.

References

  1. ↑ Dominus, Susan. "The Sexual Healer". The New York Times. The New York Times. Retrieved January 24, 2014.
  2. ↑ Perel, Esther. "Erotic Intelligence: Reconciling Sensuality and Domesticity". The Psychotherapy Networker, May/Jun 2003. Retrieved 20 July 2014.
  3. ↑ Johnson, Anna. "No sex please, I'm married". http://www.theguardian.com/''. The Guardian. Retrieved 1/6/2007. Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
  4. ↑ Perel, Esther. "The secret to desire in a long-term relationship". TEDSalon NY2013. TED. Retrieved 20 July 2014.
  5. ↑ Matousek, Mark. "Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: Advice from Esther Perel". www.psychologytoday.com. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2013-03-29.
  6. ↑ Dominus, Susan. "The Sexual Healer: The Couples Therapy Expert Esther Perel Takes On Sex and Sexuality". Fashion & Style. New York Times. Retrieved 20 July 2014.

Sources

External links