Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

"Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit" is a schoolyard saying and children's song about the capacity for beans to contribute to flatulence.^[1] The song is also variously known as "Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Miracle Fruit", and "Beans, Beans, the Wonderful Fruit". One variation of the song (sometimes called the second verse) is titled "Beans, Beans, They're Good for Your Heart."

The basis of the song (and bean/fart humor in general) is the high amount of oligosaccharides present in beans. Bacteria in the large intestine digest these sugars, producing carbon dioxide and hydrogen. These gases are expelled from the body as flatulence.^[2]

Lyrics

Various versions of the song exist.^[3] These are some examples of the lyrics:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So we have beans at every meal!¹

or

• Beans, beans, the musical fruit

The more you eat, the more you toot
Down your pants and in your boot ¹

or

• Beans, beans, the magical fruit

The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So why not have beans for every meal?

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the happier/better you feel
So let's eat beans with every meal¹

or

• Beans, beans, they're good for your heart

The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

or

• Beans, beans, they give you gas

They make you fart, and burn your ass
The more you eat, the more it hurts
So slow down your eating to stop the squirts

Beans, beans, the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot ¹This line can also be replaced with: "So eat them beans at every meal"

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
the more you eat the more you fart
the more you fart the better you feel
beans, beans for every meal. This line can also be replaced with: "So eat your beans with every meal"

Popular culture references

• In two episodes of The Simpsons, Whacking Day and Margical History Tour, Bart gets in trouble for singing "Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit"
• In Salute Your Shorts Bobby Budnick twice attempted to recite "Beans, Beans..." in a camera audition for a camp play but was interrupted by Counselor Kevin "Ug" Lee both times.
• In The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger, "Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit" is one of the few thing that Brown's raven Zoltan will say
• In Skullmonkeys during a cut-scene between levels.^[4]
• A version of the rhyme appears at the beginning of Robert Crumb's comic strip, "Crybaby's Blues". ^[5]
• In Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Tinker Ed", Ed sang the song before Eddy interrupted him by saying "Shut up Ed!" and drags him with his lip.
• In Total Drama Island episode "Paintball Deer Hunter", as the kids are served canned beans for breakfast, Owen sings the song before Heather throws a can at his face.
• A UK promo for Boomerang airing Camp Lazlo was made featuring recycled clips of episodes with the song sung by the announcer with the word "fart" censored with a flatulence sound two times before the last line of the song was played "The more you eat, the more you sit on the toilet seat". Then, a clip of Raj is shown saying "Excuse me but I am busy questioning your sanity".
• In the Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures episode Cosmic Contest, as Pac eats Beam dip, Sir Cumfrence warns Pac by starting to sing the song, but is interrupted and only sings the first verse.

References

Footnotes

General sources

• Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart, ISBN 1-58008-011-1