| "The Queen of Spain's Beard" | |||
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| Episode no. | Series 1 Episode 4 |
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| Written by | Rowan Atkinson Richard Curtis |
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| Original air date | 6 July 1983 | ||
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| List of Blackadder episodes | |||
"The Queen of Spain's Beard" was the fourth episode of the first series of the BBC sitcom Blackadder.
Contents |
In 1492, Richard IV's court is in disarray. In order to secure Spain's allegiance in a war with France, the king tries to get Harry to marry the Spanish Infanta. The plan, however, could not work, as Harry had already been concurrently engaged to several other European royal women. Richard then reluctantly chooses Edmund to marry the Infanta.
Edmund, meanwhile, swears off women after being violently rejected by a woman who thought he was Harry. When he hears that he is to be married to the Infanta, however, he is excited by the prospect of a beautiful princess — only to find that the Infanta (Miriam Margolyes) is overweight and homely. He is repulsed by her, but she falls instantly in love with him. Richard sets the wedding for the following day.
Baldrick hatches a plan: Edmund should emulate the Earl of Doncaster and pretend to "prefer the intimate company of men". Edmund then minces to court dressed in flamboyant clothes and wearing makeup. The plan fails, however, as the Infanta thinks that Edmund is only wearing traditional Spanish dress to please her. Edmund then reasons that he cannot marry the Infanta if he is already married, and so orders Baldrick to abduct a priest and Percy to find a suitable bride. Percy chooses a random peasant woman, Tally Applebottom (Jane Freeman), but she identified herself as Mrs. Applebottom at the altar — confirmed moments later when Mr. Applebottom arrives, threatening Edmund with a scythe.
That night, Edmund schemes that he could still get out of the marriage if the Infanta were not a virgin, and sends Baldrick to join the Infanta in bed, pretending to be Edmund, while Edmund goes to inform his father. Richard brushes the revelation aside, as he had been informed of this when the marriage was arranged and the dowry was decreased accordingly, and also only one of them has to be a virgin (that one, of course, being Edmund).
The marriage ceremony starts ponderously, so much so that the Infanta starts talking fast at the officiating bishop with impatience. Her irritating and ever-present translator (Jim Broadbent) quotes, "Yes, yes, stupid person, hurry up. I wish to entwine him (Blackadder) again in my broad thighs!". The wedding is ultimately cancelled in the nick of time, however, when news arrives that Spain and France have joined forces. Realising the only country in Europe England can ally with now is Hungary, the Infanta is booted out of court, and Edmund is then set to marry Princess Leia of Hungary (Natasha King) — an eight-year-old girl; however, Edmund seems resigned to this, happy that he escaped the Infanta.
The episode has a sweet-hearted ending with a distinctly bored Edmund spending his wedding night reading a bed-time story to his child bride.
Important characters are in bold.
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