Rumpology or "Bottom Reading" is a neologism referring to a pseudoscience akin to physiognomy, performed by examining crevices, dimples, warts, moles and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand.[1]
Contents |
The term rumpology is a neologism. The American astrologer Jackie Stallone claims that rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by the Babylonians, the Indians, and the Ancient Greeks and Romans,[2] although she provides no evidence for this claim. Stallone has been largely responsible for the supposed "revival" of rumpology in modern times.
Rumpologists have a variety of theories as to the meaning of different posterior characteristics. According to Stallone, the left and right buttocks reveal a person's past and future, respectively, although she has also commented that "The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain".[3] According to blind German clairvoyant and rumpologist Ulf Beck, "[a]n apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life. A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth.".[4] The British rumpologist Sam Amos also uses shape to diagnose personality,[5] and claims that "A round bottom indicates the person is open, happy and optimistic in life. However, a flat bottom suggests the person is rather vain and is negative and sad.".[6]
Rumpology can be performed either by sight, touch or by using buttock prints.[2] In addition to live readings, Jackie Stallone will perform buttock readings using e-mailed digital photographs,[7] and has claimed to predict the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscar awards by reading the bottoms of her two pet Doberman Pinschers.[8] Ulf Buck claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.[4]
Upon learning about a TV show 'rumpologist' known as Professor Jose Miranda (a pupil of Stallone's,[7]) the Florida psychic Sheree Silver disassociated herself from the practice, telling the Sun-Sentinel, "I can't imagine anyone wasting their time and money on someone like this when there are so many legitimate psychics out there.".[9]