List of Teachers (UK TV series) episodes

This is a list of episodes of the British television sitcom Teachers, not to be confused with the American sitcom of the same name, which was loosely based on it.

Contents

Episodes

Series One: 2001

# Title Original airdate PC Director Writer(s) Plot
01 Episode One 21 March 2001 101 Richard Dale Tim Loane The first episode introduces the main characters at the beginning of a new term; Kurt, Brian and Susan celebrate Simon's birthday by breaking into the school. After facing the wrath of Jenny, Simon seeks relationship advice from Susan.
02 Episode Two 28 March 2001 102 Richard Dale Julie Rutterford Simon suffers under Jenny as Acting Head of Year when Arnie is found with cannabis; this results in a drugs talk and Simon upsetting new girlfriend, Maggie. Susan prepares to apply for the role of Head of Year herself. Kurt and Brian on the other hand, face real problems when they realise that they have not prepared for parents evening.
03 Episode Three 4 April 2001 103 Richard Dale Andrew Rattenbury Simon's personal life suffers when his dad invites his girlfriend, and her daughter, to move in with them; he seeks further advice from Susan regarding Maggie as she is still upset with him.
04 Episode Four 11 April 2001 104 Jeremy Lovering Tim Loane Simon tries to help Pauline and Cheryl sort out problems with their love lives; this all goes disastrously wrong when he mentions the problems to Kurt and Brian. Alongside this, Simon gets concerned that his relationship has hit a low point sexually as it becomes more serious.
05 Episode Five 18 April 2001 105 Jeremy Lovering Julie Rutterford Sharing Kurt and Brian's flat becomes too much for Simon, so after much list writing he decides to move in with Maggie. Between this and the flat warming party, Simon and Jenny's friendship becomes less icy. After a claustrophobic incident in a cupboard, Simon feels guilty and confused.
06 Episode Six 25 April 2001 106 Jeremy Lovering Andrew Rattenbury Susan is under great pressure with the organisation of an open evening when she makes a massive decision about her marriage; she is then deeply upset that Simon lets her down and does not support her.
07 Episode Seven 2 May 2001 107 Sallie Aprahamian Andrew Rattenbury While Simon faces the truth about his father, Summerdown School is littered (literally) with pornographic images. Simon finds himself between a rock (Pauline's chest) and a hard place (Bob's office) which is something he cannot get someone else to do.
08 Episode Eight 9 May 2001 108 Sallie Aprahamian Tim Loane Simon is haunted by nightmares as his job interview (for a permanent post) approaches. While initially Kurt and Brian want Simon to get the job, they are soon distracted by a female applicant. The series culminates in a Christmas party where Jenny does something she might come to regret.

Series Two: 2002

# Title Original airdate PC Director Writer(s) Plot
09 Episode One 13 March 2002 201 Peter Lydon Julie Rutterford It is the start of a new year at Summerdown School and there are two new members of staff. Simon worries about falling into the same old routine while Kurt is still trying to dump Carol. Susan finds herself with a crush on new French teacher JP.
10 Episode Two 20 March 2002 202 Peter Lydon Julie Rutterford Kurt and Brian concoct a scheme to try and save Kurt from Carol; Penny gets dragged unknowingly into the mess. Penny tries to help Simon with his new 'identity crisis' while Jenny takes drastic measures to save Kurt.
11 Episode Three 27 March 2002 203 John Alexander Richard Stoneman As the school embarks on a crackdown on facial hair, Susan has her own similar issue. Brian and Simon discuss their lack of sexual activity since encounters with Jenny. On a more serious note, the lads find themselves talking to Alec (a psychologist) about their problems and Simon makes a disastrous error in judgement with regards to Susan.
12 Episode Four 3 April 2002 204 John Alexander Andrew Rattenbury Brian finds himself having doubts about his sexuality after a careers test. Kurt, Simon and Susan take advantage of this, but thankfully JP's sporting skills put Brian straight. Jenny feels let down after organising the career fair and Kurt worries about the consequences of teasing Brian.
13 Episode Five 10 April 2002 205 John Alexander Richard Stoneman Susan starts to feel uncomfortable living with Jenny as her infatuation with Alec grows. As the consequences of this spread to the English department, Brian, Penny and Simon all suffer and sympathise with Susan.
14 Episode Six 17 April 2002 206 Susanna White Julie Rutterford Clare decides that the staff must allow the students more time to talk to them; open surgery at all lunchtimes is to follow. However, much to Simon, Kurt and Brian's disgust, JP somehow manages to avoid this. Bob undergoes a rebirth and Penny continues to cause a path of destruction!
15 Episode Seven 24 April 2002 207 Susanna White Charlie Martin After Bev comes back into the school and gives a talk about motherhood, Susan finds herself unexpectedly feeling broody; a search for a suitable father follows and Carol has a new boyfriend on the horizon.
16 Episode Eight 1 May 2002 208 Susanna White Ed Roe Simon's life crisis hits an all time high as he realises just how boring his life is. After a rash decision, which has massive consequences, he finds his life will never be the same again.
17 Episode Nine 8 May 2002 209 Reza Moradi Andrew Rattenbury After Simon has left the English Department in the lurch, Penny has to take on a much larger workload; Jenny uses her new found energy to take her under her wing and prepare her. Susan, Kurt and Brian decide that Jenny cannot balance work and relationships.
18 Episode Ten 15 May 2002 210 Reza Moradi Richard Stoneman Penny shows Simon's replacement, Matt, around the school before the Christmas party. While she forms a close relationship with Matt, Kurt and Brian spend the evening wondering how or who they will pull!

Series Three: 2003

# Title Original airdate PC Director Writer(s) Plot
19 Episode One 6 August 2003 301 Brian Kelly Ed Roe The new series begins with Kurt explaining his theory of 'Ugly Men'. Kurt then suffers from a personal crisis as Liz begins to gossip about what happened after the Christmas party, and Lindsay opens Kurt and Brian's eyes about the gender divide.
20 Episode Two 13 August 2003 302 Brian Kelly Richard Stoneman While Brian explores if drinking vodka and tonic, rather than beer, makes a difference to his urinary needs, Lindsay helps Penny to understand what makes her annoying. Although Penny is trying to better herself, Liz and her are still at loggerheads.
21 Episode Three 20 August 2003 303 Brian Kelly Andrew Rattenburry Bob has resorted to sleeping in the gym store room and Brian has to address why his lessons are 'boring', or he will face Mrs Webb. Kurt can't understand Brian's problems as he has far more pressing issues; a parent of one of his students shows an interest in him, that is, until she smells his breath. Halitosis aside, Kurt decides to quit smoking.
22 Episode Four 27 August 2003 304 Otto Bathurst Richard Stoneman While Bob moves up the property ladder as he moves a bed and television into his office, Kurt, Brian, Lindsay and Matt pull straws to see who has to address his personal hygiene. Bob takes his relationship with Liz far too seriously, by speaking to Kayla, which has dire consequences.
23 Episode Five 3 September 2003 305 Otto Bathurst Charlie Martin Lindsay is struggling to come to terms with her fast approaching 30th birthday, which she shares with Matt's wife. While Kurt and Brian are convinced that Matt's wife is highly attractive, jealous Penny tells them she is disabled. Penny seeks her revenge with Matt.
24 Episode Six 10 September 2003 306 Otto Bathurst Richard Stoneman After a record number of staff are off work with stress, Clare assigns the remaining staff 'stress partners'; Matt and Lindsay think they've hit gold when they have to work together. As their friendship grows, Penny gets exceedingly jealous and tells Kurt and Brian that Lindsay is mentally ill; Lindsay and Matt seek revenge in the only way fit.
25 Episode Seven 17 September 2003 307 Jonathan Fox Bassett Ed Roe Kurt and Brian have a surprise when a face from the past returns to Summerdown; despite his reservations, Simon finds himself back in the classroom alarmingly quickly. Simon makes a huge mistake when he tries to help Brian chat up the fit dinner lady, and Kurt makes a life altering bet based on Simon's year travelling.
26 Episode Eight 23 September 2003 308 Jonathan Fox Bassett Tony Bagallop While Simon worries about working with his replacement and wonders why everyone likes him so much, Matt has to step up to the mark to fill Bob's shoes (as it were). The school has a weapons amnesty which leaves the weapons in dangerous hands.
27 Episode Nine 30 September 2003 309 Jonathan Fox Bassett Ed Roe Morale is at a low when Clare cancels the Christmas party; this is reinforced when Kurt and Brian receive a card addressed to 'Kurt and Bryony'. Simon's meddling causes massive changes and Kurt and Brian search for new best friends.
28 Episode Ten 7 October 2003 310 Susanna White Andrew Rattenbury Carol's baby has an adverse affect on Clare, who begins acting rather oddly; the baby also causes much excitement because no one is brave enough to look at it to see who the father is. Bob begins to open up to his class and share some of his best kept secrets (much to their disgust), and Kurt carries on worrying if it is possible for him to be the father of Carol's baby (despite the minor issue that they didn't have sex!). Meanwhile Lindsay is struggling with mixed messages from Clare and has to avoid alcohol for a week or so.
29 Episode Eleven 13 October 2003 311 Susanna White Jack Lothian Brian finally finds himself in the first flushes of romance; however, he has no idea how to behave and seeks advice from the worst possible people. Bob misunderstands him and wants to share his love of Wham!
30 Episode Twelve 20 October 2003 312 Andrew Lincoln Richard Stoneman After a race goes very wrong, Kurt finds himself with a new job and a whole new list of problems, and Brian has to face up to his responsibilities. Despite Kurt's quick discovery that he is healthy, he continues to blame, and relies on, Brian for everything; this is heightened on Sports Day.
31 Episode Thirteen 27 October 2003 313 Andrew Lincoln Charlie Martin Lindsay and Matt's friendship grows after a drunken kiss; despite avoiding each other and their eternal embarrassment, they cannot keep apart. Lindsay tries to put herself off Matt, by talking about his beautiful wife and listening to his tales about his 'multiple shagging disorder', but nothing works.

Series Four: 2004

# Title Original airdate PC Director Writer(s) Plot
32 Episode One 26 October 2004 401 Barnaby Southcomb Richard Stoneman After a hideous and unfortunate car accident, Lindsay, Penny and Bob are the only few remaining Summerdown teachers left to merge with a new school. Despite Clare's best efforts to make the staff bond, Damien and Ben ignore Penny and Lindsay's best efforts at friendship. Bob has undergone a drastic change, which is marked by a new toupee, and hated by Clare.
33 Episode Two 3 November 2004 402 Barnaby Southcomb Ed Roe Ben is petrified when he has to guide a group of OAPs around the school and, at the other end of the scale, during a session in the library Penny finds herself a new (teenage) boyfriend. Bob meanwhile is still discussing his 'fiancée' Sundander Sunitra (secretly hiding the fact his 'bid' for a Thai bride has been rejected on terms of his age) and also plotting to have Ewan sacked.
34 Episode Three 10 November 2004 403 Barnaby Southcomb Charlie Martin During Gay and Lesbian Awareness Week, Ewan finds himself in an uncomfortable position with a student, and Clare wonders how lesbians 'function'. After some disastrous advice, Ewan finds himself face to face with a Freddie Mercury wannabe. Liz worries about Kayla's non-existent sex life (despite the fact her daughter is only 14) and Lindsay doesn't know why she'd make a good lesbian.
35 Episode Four 17 November 2004 404 Sean Grundy Linton Chiswick Lindsay is made an example of during Fat Week and Ewan, Damien, Penny and Ben try to 'help' her diet. Meanwhile Penny is snubbed by Anthony, and Bob finds himself in a frenzy after his vasectomy.
36 Episode Five 24 November 2004 405 Sean Grundy Jack Lothian Bob is very excited about meeting his new Thai bride Ping, but she is far more interested in Ewan. Ben takes Religious Tolerance week very seriously which results in a mini-war between the students.
37 Episode Six 1 December 2004 406 Sean Grundy Tony Basgallop Penny's family history is uncovered and she takes a turn for the worse this week. Meanwhile the issues of Racial Awareness Week extend to penis size. Meanwhile, Bob's sex life is suffering.
38 Episode Seven 8 December 2004 407 Iain B.MacDonald Charlie Martin Damien finds himself attracted to the new supply teacher; however, after a cooking incident, he is rendered temporarily useless.
39 Episode Eight 15 December 2004 408 Iain B.MacDonald Richard Stoneman After a Ouija board, Ben appreciates how he has annoyed the Gods in every religion. He thinks he is going to die and so converts to each religion for a day. It is Bob's stag do in Dublin which everyone tries their hardest to avoid, and the consequences of her behaviour start to hit Penny.
40 Episode Nine 22 December 2004 409 Iain B.MacDonald Ed Roe As Ofsted approaches, Clare concocts a plan to fool the inspector; however, when the fake classes do not work, Ewan is left to save the day. The final episodes culminates in Bob and Ping's wedding.