Group dating is a modern pattern for dating where a group of single men and a group of single women organise a night out, with the hope of forming romantic partnerships. It is most popular in Japan, where it is known as gōkon. In other cultures, group dating is becoming more popular as a safe alternative to single dating (especially blind dating), also helping to ease tension, because both parties will feel more comfortable having the company of their friends.[1]
Group dating is often recommended by parenting experts as more age appropriate form of dating for preteens than one-on-one dating.[2]
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In Japan, a gōkon (合コン) is a group blind date, typically used to form at least some friendships between two groups that are each of a single sex. Generally, a single man and woman who know each other organize the gōkon in advance, each agreeing to bring 3 or 4 eligible friends. The venue is usually a restaurant, izakaya, or anywhere people can eat, drink and make a bit of noise.[3]
The term gōkon comes from the Japanese words konpa (a party for members of a single group, class, or club) and gōdō ("together", "combination"). Generally speaking, gōkon are not primarily intended to result in one-night stands (something more associated with nanpa), but rather for making friends and possibly forming long-term relationships. Typically groups of men and women will sit opposite each other and converse with one another, while simultaneously whispering discussions with their same-sex peers about which potential partners they find attractive. Sometimes games are played to reduce tension and encourage a convivial atmosphere.
Recently, writing a text message on a mobile phone and showing it to others has become popular as an alternative to whispering.
According to an article in USA today:
"Group online dating, its creators and practitioners say, is safer than traditional Internet dating: With friends in tow, there's little fear that a date will spike your drink during a trip to the bathroom. It's more natural, akin to happy-hour mixing. Going out in groups improves your odds, at least in theory. And if the opposing social circle doesn't live up to its virtual profile, well, it's a night out with your gang."[1]
According to dating coach Nick Savoy, group dates are great for dating within groups of friends but to effectively get into a relationship a one-on-one date is necessary.
Various internet dating websites, such as Ignighter[4], have turned to group dates as a way to facilitate a safe and more relaxed atmosphere. There are even branches of group dating that focus on more specific interests, such as BlendAbout[5] where the focus is heavily on food or CitySwoon[6] where users create their own gōkon style, group dating events.
According to a San Diego Union-Tribune article:
"[The Concept] is part of a growing trend in the lucrative online dating market – harnessing the power of friends. Several sites are tapping into the idea that most real-world relationships begin, like it or not, with the help and influence of friends and family."[7]
In March 2008, comedians Dave Ahdoot and Ethan Fixell posted a video on YouTube soliciting women for double dates. Since then, Dave and Ethan claim to have gone on over 200 double dates, documenting the results online while promoting group dating as a safe, productive means of making real-life romantic connections.[8]
Goukon style events have also developed independently at Oxford and Cambridge universities, where they are known as a Crewdate and Formal swap, respectively.