Willie Stokes

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Willie Stokes is a fictional character from the 2003 film Bad Santa. He was played by Billy Bob Thornton.

Willie is a degenerate, alcoholic, over-sexed, emotionally unstable, violence prone lout with a foul mouth; he seems to loathe himself as much as he loathes everyone and everything else. His one worthy skill is his ability as a safe cracker. His partner in crime is a dwarf named Marcus (Tony Cox), who appears to be the brains of the outfit; they can't stand each other, but they put up with one another because they suit each other's goals as criminals. Every Christmas Willie & Marcus pose as Santa and his elf for any random mall that will hire them; then on Christmas Eve they rob the place and wait another year to move to another town with another mall to rob.

In the film, Willie encounters an emotionally and intellectually underdeveloped heavy-set kid named Thurman Merman, who can't seem to get it through his head that Willie is not really Santa Claus. Thurman is the constant target of vicious, callous bullies who either make fun of him, beat him up, or give him wedgies. When Willie's apartment is raided, he crashes with Thurman, or "the Kid" as everyone else calls him. During this time Willie starts having a fling with a tall, dark, strapping, perky, blue eyed and beautiful barmaid named Sue (Lauren Graham), but Willie clearly has no real feelings for her; the arrangement seems based mostly on the fact that Sue has a Santa fetish and Willie simply wants sex, and since Sue's ready and willing and beautiful, she suits his needs. Their moments of sexual intercourse are marked by Sue's climaxes - shouting "Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa, (voice cracking) fuck me Santa, fuck me... Santa..." Neither Sue nor the Kid seem capable of seeing Willie for the for the despicable, violent, loud mouth that he really is.

But as the film progresses Willie develops an attachment to the Kid, who seems to teach Willie the true meaning of the holidays. When the Kid comes home with a black eye, Willie beats up the bullies who beat up the Kid and tries to teach the Kid how to defend himself with help from Marcus. Unfortunately, when the Kid kicks Marcus in the balls as part of his self-defense practice, Marcus punches him in the crotch in turn and then Willie, who then hits Marcus in the crotch again. The Kid later walks in on Willie as he's about pull off Sue's panties and gives him a wooden pickle for his Christmas present (and addresses Sue as "Mrs. Santa's Sister" on his way out), which causes Willie to lose his erection.

At the climax, Willie tries to crack a reputedly uncrackable safe, the Kitner Boy Redoubt, using a screw driver, a blow torch, and even a sledge hammer. After he eventually succeeds, he goes to get a stuffed pink elephant for the Kid, but then Marcus turns on Willie and tries to kill him because Willie is no longer reliable. The police show up, Willie runs for it, and heads back to the Kid's house, but is gunned down as he goes for the door, scaring the hell out of some neighborhood kids. Willie survives, however, is cleared of the charges while Marcus goes to jail with his "prune faced mail order bride" and, to top it all off, Willie is made a sensitivity counselor, leaving the Kid in Sue's care. He sends the Kid another present, a T-shirt that says "Shit happens when you party naked".

When the main bully comes to take the Kid's bike and calls the kid "fat ass", the Kid responds by kicking the bully in the crotch, then gives the bully the finger as he rides off.