Wikipedia:WikiProject St. Louis Rams/Peer review
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[edit] The Greatest Show on Turf
Would like to obtain editors' comments on how to improve this article. --Pinkkeith 20:05, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Mwelch
- No sources are cited
- Maybe have a look at WP:LEAD, as the lead section is a bit long right now. The information in it looks relevent enough, but some of it could definitely be moved down into the body of the article.
- It's a unique nickname. There should be a mention of its origin (Chris Berman). If I were a reader coming in out of the blue, not already familiar with the topic, I'd have no idea how that name even makes any sense.
- The whole of the article seems to be the results of the offense and then individual player profiles of some of its stars. But, for an article that is ostensibly about that offense, there's not much about the offense itself. The opening tells us it was based upon Air Coryell (an offense I wouldn't exactly describe as "traditional", by the way), but that's pretty much it. What is the background of the Coryell offense that's the basis? What changes were made to that? How was it different not only from Coryell's, but from the other NFL offenses in use between 1999 and 2001? What were the offenses schemes and designs?
- For the individual players, I'd use the main article template, rather than the details template.
Mwelch 23:54, 8 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Jack Youngblood
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I think that on the whole this article is could be a GA. I would like to see others point out any errors or ways to improve the article so that it could become a GA.
Thanks,
Pinkkeith (talk) 18:05, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:23, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Marshall Faulk
I do notice some things that need to be added (references being one), but would like to know what other information should be correct, added or deleted. Thanks for your opinons/suggestions in advance.
Pinkkeith (talk) 19:55, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:23, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Orlando Pace
Would like to get input how to make this article better. I know there are some things that need to be done, but would like input from others. --Pinkkeith 17:41, 5 March 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Review by Flex
I made a few minor changes, but the article needs an image that is compatible with the WP image licenses (shouldn't be too hard to find) and should also make use of {{citeweb}} for its sources.
Beyond that, the article is too enthusiastic and unencyclopedic at points. Statements like his height and weight make him "well-suited for the tackle position" and "perhaps his greatest asset is his athleticism - Pace's quickness of reflexes and speed are unmatched among NFL offensive linemen" and "Memorably, in a 2002 game against the Washington Redskins, on an interception return, Pace managed to run down cornerback Champ Bailey..." and "In addition, he laid out Ray Lewis and Peter Boulware on a massive block that sprung Marshall Faulk for a touchdown in 2003" are editorializing at best and POV at worst. --Flex (talk|contribs) 19:46, 5 March 2007 (UTC)
