Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Miles Browning

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[edit] Miles Browning

This article needs review by someone more familiar with Browning and US naval history than I am. I took it from a long list of quotes from historians to its current status, but it needs a fresh set of eyes, especially for the periods before and after the Battle of Midway. I don't know if this article has too much information for a piece about a rear admiral or not enough. I looked at the bios of Halsey and Nimitz, but they weren't much help because they're done in two different styles. I ultimately chose Halsey's article as a basic reference, though I'm willing to reformat it if necessary.

Also, I've looked in many places for a photo of Browning, including the US Naval Historical Center and Google Images, without success. The USNHC has a few photos of Browning standing with Halsey and in groups, but I simply cannot find a formal portrait of Browning. Any help is welcome and appreciated, both with the photo and with the format and tone of the article. Baseball,Baby! balls•strikes 20:43, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

Here's a photo http://www.mtnlakes.org/Library/b-bio.htm Raymond Palmer 22:05, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Kirill Lokshin

A good start. Some issues, though:

  • Inline citations to printed works must include page numbers; otherwise, they won't be taken seriously at the FAC level.
  • The lead should be increased to two or three paragraphs.
  • The "Awards and decorations" section should be rewritten as prose (as in, for example, Aleksandr Vasilevsky) or pulled entirely into the infobox.
  • Pictures would be good; group photos are entirely fine.
  • The "Early life" section could probably use a bit of expansion, if there's any more material available; alternately, you could merge it with the pre-aviation military section to avoid the appearance of a stub section there.
  • More generally, the article is rather undercited—for an article of this length, having ~50 footnotes would not be the least bit unusual—and filled with rather subjective assertions that really must be cited (e.g. "he displayed a quick, calculating and incisive mind", "as aggressive in his tactical thinking as he was in the cockpit", "He seems a man of tremendous contradictions", etc.).

As far as length is concerned: there's no inherent reason to limit length by rank. The article is well under the 32K of text that are commonly considered a good upper limit for readability; if there is more material of interest, it can probably be safely added. Kirill Lokshin 01:52, 26 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Yannismarou

I liked the prose and the tone. A few remarks:

  • You must citate all the assessments and the statements you make. Kirill is right, when he says that the article is under-citated.
  • Citations go straight after the punctuation. Do not let a gap between the punctuation and the citation.
  • You have some assessments about Browning in sections "Midway", "controversy" and in the notes. Personally, I like these assessments better organized, maybe in a seperate section. I would also like to know what was the US Navy's stance after his death: was he awarded after his death? Was his contribution recognized? What do other distinguished US officers said about him? The historians? Has he supporters and opponents? You have some of this material, but it seems to me scattered and insufficient.
  • More photos are needed. If you do not have a portrait, add a group-photo is the infobox and explain that this is a group photo and Browning is him.
  • You have a biiig quote of an historian named Wildenberg. Can't you just rephrase his wording and incorporate it in the text. It seems to me better like that. If you choose to keep the quotes as they are you may like to use a Template:Cquote or a similar one. But this is a matter of style. It is up to you.
  • You have no year for the awards and the decorations. For instance, when was he awarded with the Distinguished Service Medal? I agree that a prose is recommended, but, even if you keep the list, you must add information.
  • By the way, I think you should add this article to the disambiguation page Browning. I think it is not there.--Yannismarou 15:21, 26 August 2006 (UTC)