Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Battle of Bicocca

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[edit] Battle of Bicocca

A fairly important battle, but one that's quite difficult to find sources for. I've tried to collect as much as I could; hopefully, the narrative is sufficiently detailed. I plan on taking this to FAC at some point in the near future; hence, any feedback on potential weaknesses or problems with the article would be much appreciated! Kirill Lokshin 04:49, 22 July 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Plange

Great article! Just a few things....I know absolutely nothing about this time period, so this coming from someone who has no previous knowledge. In that light, this paragraph was confusing for me (I put where I was confused in brackets):

"At the start of the war in 1521, Emperor Charles V and Pope Leo X moved jointly against the French territories in Lombardy. A large Papal force under the Marquis of Mantua, together with such Spanish troops as were available in Naples and some smaller Italian contingents, concentrated near Mantua, intending to advance into the Duchy of Milan.[3] The German forces which Charles had sent south to aid this managed to pass through Venetian territory near Vallegio unmolested and reach Mantua, prompting French complaints that their allies [who were their allies? The Venetians? That's what I inferred, so maybe that's enough] were doing nothing to aid them.[4] The combined Papal, Spanish, and Imperial army then proceeded into [the] French territory [of Lombardy?] under the command of Prosper Colonna.[5] For the next several months, Colonna fought a war of maneuver against the French, refusing to give battle."

Shouldn't Pescara get his full name here since this is the first mention of him? "Pescara positioned his Spanish arquebusiers four ranks deep immediately behind the rampart"

Also, was thinking it might be nice if in the prelude area I could see a map that showed Lombardy and Milan in the bigger scheme of things (as opposed to the very close-in map in the infobox) -plange 16:53, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments! The convoluted wording (and not mentioning Pescara's name—thanks for catching that!) are definitely issues. I'll give the article a few more rounds of copyediting soon; hopefully, I'll catch all of the things like that.

As far as maps go, I'll see if I can find a bigger one that doesn't have nonsensical borders drawn on it. Kirill Lokshin 16:50, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

I've done some pretty extensive copyediting, so the language should be somewhat more readable now. Still looking for another map, though. Kirill Lokshin 22:51, 23 July 2006 (UTC)