Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/The Notorious B.I.G.
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[edit] The Notorious B.I.G.
This article has had problems with neutrality/weasel words, which I've tried to fix, and some debate over the amount of album information included. Has the article overcome enough of this to meet GA- or higher standards? Laalaaa 20:06, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Yannismarou
Nice job. But it needs some further "polishing", in order to "shine". This is my review:
- "Christopher George Latore Wallace (May 21, 1972 – March 9, 1997), also known as Biggie Smalls (after a gangster in the 1975 film Let's Do It Again), Big Poppa, Frank White (from the film King of New York), and The Notorious B.I.G. (Business Instead of Game[1])". From all these names, why do we choose "The Notorious B.I.G." as title of the article? Was it more often used than the other names? What makes it more special?
- Note 1:"After he switched from dealing drugs to rap; see [1]". This is an external jump. These jumps are not nice. Prefer link containing text.
- "Born in Brooklyn, New York, Biggie grew up during the peak years of the 1980s crack epidemic." What is your point here? What had the "crack epidemic" to do with his growing?
- In general, my impression is that the flow of the lead is not so good. An X statement is not so well connected with the next V statement.
- "Biggie was noted for his storytelling and freestyling abilities, and his easy to understand lyrics." His "easy" or his "ease"? And to understand what exactly; the meaning of the lyrics? Why is this notable? Don't other rappers understand lyrics?
- "Christopher Wallace was born ... ", "Wallace had started ...", "In August 1995, Biggie's protegé group ...". Choose a name for him? I think you should only use the title's name "The Notorious B.I.G. ...".
- "In March 1992, Biggie featured in The Source's Unsigned Hype column, dedicated to aspiring rappers and was invited to produce a recording with other unsigned artists, in a move that was apparently unusual at the time." Why was it unusual?
- "Biggie's first child, T-Yanna, was born on August 10, 1992." Was he married or not?
- "With his new daughter in immediate financial need ... ". Why was she sick?
- "Once discovered by Combs, Biggie quit and became a full-time hip hop artist." Quit the drugs' dealing you mean? How did Combs convince him?
- "This was his first remix to chart that featured solely hip hop artists." I asked for a citation here. Try to have at least one citation in each paragraph, and to cite all the important assessments.
- "In August 1995, Biggie's protegé group, Junior M.A.F.I.A. (Junior Masters At Finding Intelligent Attitudes), released their debut album." Why hadn't you told us earlier that he had created a protegé group? When was it created?
- "Biggie continued to collaborate with R&B artists, in 1995 appearing with Bad Boy groups 112 (on "Only You") and Total (on "Can't You See"), both charting in the top 20 of the Hot 100." Try to avoid one-sentence stubby paragraphs like this one.
- "In the summer of 1996, he arrested at his home in Teaneck, New Jersey for drug and weapons possession charges.[6]" But you had told us that "once discovered by Combs, Biggie quit and became a full-time hip hop artist." Had he really stopped dealing drugs? Is your first assessment that "he quit" accurate or not? He did stopped, but then restarted?
- "and that Biggie had adopted his persona". What do you mean here exactly?
- In "Style" there is a tense mixture; present tense in one paragraph and past tense in another one.
- "TIME magazine write Biggie raps with an ability to "make multi-syllabic rhymes sound... smooth".[32] Krims describes Biggie's rhythmic style as "effusive".[33] Before starting a verse, Biggie sometimes uses onomatopoeic vocables to "warm up"" The prose is a bit choppy here.
- In "Lyrical content" I see the verb "describe" repeatedly used, and I also see once again a tense mixture.
- "Before his death, Biggie created a hip-hop supergroup called The Commission, which consisted of himself, Jay-Z, Lil' Cease, P. Diddy and Charli Baltimore. " I think this should be a part of his biography.
- Get rid of "Trivia"! Such sections are no longer esteemed. If the info there is useful, incorporate it in the main text.
- Get also rid of "See also"! The links there are already linked in the main text, and, if one or two are not, you can easily link them (if you think they are necessary).
- Notes 31 and 32 are empty.
- Alphabetize categories at the end of the article.--Yannismarou 14:59, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
- Thanks for the suggestions. They're very helpful. Re: names, I was trying to refer to him as Wallace until he uses "Biggie" as his rap alias, but it does make more sense to use one name throughout the article. Laalaaa 19:33, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] BFeen
"Since his death, a further two albums..."
→At the least, fix the grammar. At the most, "Biggie's presence over rap music and hip-hop culture continues to influence modern day artists, as many cite, both explicitly and implicitly, him as a seminal influence in their lyrics, styles, and videos.
Childhood and Youth section
"These experiences with crime, drugs, and violence would serve as inspiration for Biggie's lyrical content and persona. In the song "Sky's the Limit," he centers the story around his school-day drug-dealing.
