Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/John Mayer
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
[edit] John Mayer
I and several other dedicated editors have been toiling away at this article for almost two years, and I think it has improved dramatically from its stubby roots. All disputable claims, statistics and quotes are cited by reputable music and general topic sources of today. All the images are free or have appropriate fair use rationales, and likewise for the music samples. The article is apropriately wiki-linked and connected with other Wiki projects. Efforts have been made to improve the prose, eliminate bias, and trim fannish information. I feel that the article is thorough, but not overly-detailed. Specific topics have been spun off into new articles (ie - John Mayer discography and John Mayer Trio). We editors have made every effort to conform it to the Manual of Style. I have copyedited the darn thing ad nauseum. All it needs is a final set of eyes before it goes to the judge and jury: the FAC committee. Please be that set of eyes. Thanks in advance!--Esprit15d (talk ¤ contribs) 15:34, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Review by Karanacs
I found a few issues that you probably want to fix before attempting FAC. There were some more general prose issues too, but I didn't note all of them. At times, sections or paragraphs seem to read more informally, like a magazine article, than formally like an encyclopedia article. There are also several instances of clunky sentences, where you've tried to stuff a lot of information into one sentence and it makes it hard to read. Sometimes if you read the article out loud to yourself you'll be able to catch some of these (although I recommend doing that when you aren't around lots of people ;) )
don't wikilink single years (1998, 2005)instead of "latest studio album" can we use a year? That way the lead doesn't become out of sync with real life- Prose Issues
"has also gotten involved" -> he is also involved insecond paragraph in early life does not read welland even now he keeps Xanax (an anti-anxiety drug) with him, just in case. - >and now he keeps Xanax, an anti-anxiety drug, with him."Cook's insistence proved successful" -> this doesn't make much sense
- did he meet James Blake at school or in his hometown?
- Comment: In his hometown, which I think is pretty clear in the article. It says
Born in Bridgeport, Connecticut, Mayer grew up in nearby Fairfield, the second of three sons. There, he became friends with future tennis star James Blake.
- Is it important the it was believed that Mayer's father gave him a Stevie Ray Vaughan album, or just that he got one?
- Comment: It is such a common misconception, that it should probably be at least noted as false, since editors come in and re-add popular fiction (particularly this factoid). But it does clog up the paragraph, and is not pressingly important. I put it in notes.
Under Major label Success, three paragraphs in a row start with "In <year>""This album also brought critical and commercial success" - can you expand on the critical success for any of the albums? It would be nice to know what the critics thought of them.Need a source for first paragraph of John Mayer TrioThe section Continuum and beyond is missing sourcesMake sure all full dates are wikilinked- Don't embed external links in the text (Meyer's auction site)
- Need a source for "Tape trading was also instrumental in Mayer becoming better known in the early stages of his career."
The selected events section may border on trivia. Is it important that this be included in the article?- Comment Still included but trimmed.
- I don't know if MySpace links are allowed.
- Comment: I believe that is only if someone is using it as a reference about, say, genetic engineering. Mayer is a major blogger. I think mentioning his MySpace page and then linking to it is only logical.
You probably don't need all the interviews as external links -- if any of those are in the sources already, don't include them here.
Good luck! Karanacs 14:17, 1 June 2007 (UTC)
