Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Eric Tigerstedt

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[edit] Eric Tigerstedt

Would be grateful for any comments or input on style, scope and content of the article. -- Grimne 22:56, 20 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Automated review

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    • While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 14 additive terms, a bit too much.
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You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 08:36, 21 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Yannismarou

  • Your article has no citations. References are not enough. Try to have at least one inline citation in each paragraph.
  • Any picture of him?
  • Only his name should be bolded in the lead.
  • Do not wikilink single years; only full dates. Check WP:MoS.
  • "She had been studying the violin in Switzerland and had met Tigersted through her brother Albert Nybom was also studying in Köthen and who was a class mate of Tigerstedt." Prose issues.
  • "Tigerstedt returned to Germany in 1913, founding a company with the Swedish merchant Axel Wahlstedt and the Swedish engineer Hugo Swartling. This was the first in a series of unsuccessful business ventures. Although Tigerstedt is able to complete his work with the sound-on-film technology, their laboratory is confiscated due to unpaid rent. It is later returned to them, but it is finally destroyed by a fire." You change tenses here and afterwards. Inconsistent.
  • "Unfortunately, his achievements ..." "Unfortunately for whom? POV.
  • "His German colleagues however, told him that the vacuum tubes could not be developed further and that there could be no solution to the problem with the weakness of amplification. Tigerstedt however, continued". Repetitive prose.
  • Cite your references properly, utilizing Template:cite book.--Yannismarou 11:48, 21 September 2007 (UTC)