Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Dirk Nowitzki

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[edit] Dirk Nowitzki

Recently, I rewrote the Dirk Nowitzki article from scratch, centering around the biography of this NBA basketball player. Chensiyuan helped me with his copyedits. I want to make it a FA in the future, and hope to find a fertile source of constructive criticism here. —Onomatopoeia (talk) 11:59, 11 January 2008 (UTC)

To be precise I didn't copyedit all that much, just did some minor cleaning up (formatting, refs, wc, etc.) and wikilinked where appropriate. An experienced copyeditor would be appreciated here. Chensiyuan (talk) 15:31, 11 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Semi-automated review

This is what the bot said:

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:What is a featured article?, Images should have concise captions.^[?]
• This article may need to undergo summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is United States, then an appropriate subpage would be History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.^[?]
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. —Onomatopoeia (talk) 10:03, 7 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Yannismarou

• "Regarded as one of the best European players in basketball history". By whom exactly? Cite or this is POV.
• "he stated that "Dirk Nowitzki is the greatest German basketball talent of the last 10, maybe 15 years". Always cite quotes. The same here "Nowitzki said: "I was so frustrated I even contemplated going back to Germany… [the jump from Second Bundesliga to the NBA] was like jumping out of an airplane hoping the parachute would somehow open.""
• "In addition, his best friend Nash became a valuable point guard, and with Finley scoring more than ever, pundits were calling this trio the "Big Three" of the Mavericks." What pundits? Cite.
• I am not sure if the "NBA career statistics" are well-placed there. In most articles, statistics go after the end of the whole main text. But I suppose this is not the strictest rule in the world!
• "Nowitzki was born into an athletic family. Both his mother Helga and his father Jörg-Werner were professional handball players who represented Germany in international games." I read exactly the same sentence in the beginning of the article!

Very nice article, and I liked a lot the prose (although I got a bit tired and bored in "Mark Cuban and the "Big Three" (1999–2004)" reading about one play-off game after the other!), which is something I don't often say about athletes' bios!--Yannismarou (talk) 17:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

• Thanks for the feedback, it is appreciated and will be incorporated into the article. —Onomatopoeia (talk) 10:07, 21 February 2008 (UTC)