Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Derek and the Dominos

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[edit] Derek and the Dominos

Working on the page alone I am not able to fully see potential problems or minor criticisms that an outside point of view possesses and that a peer review can provide. The article has been extensively worked on and is aesthetic to the eyes and ears. There are many citations and there is only a small amount of POV in the article. Again though, I hope that this is the case for being deeply intertwined with the article provides me with an uneven point of view. Thank you and I will try my best to fix any problems that are brought to my attention. - Patman2648 08:02, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Michaelas10

A couple of issues I found:
  • You should fix the album chronology so it would not only be Eric Clapton's album chronology.
  • The article sounds a lot like a newspaper article, please remove a lot of the quotations and merge them inside the text. Michaelas10 11:50, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
An aftermath section will be created and quotes reduced. Also I'm not sure what you mean by fix album chronology because the Derek and the Dominos page only has four albums in the discography and all four are Derek and the Dominos albums alone, there are no Eric Clapton articles in that space designated. I think you're talking about the band's album's pages don't have a Derek and the Dominos chronology and that can be added then and I'll do that. Thanks and I appreciate the advice. - Patman2648 08:05, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
Also, I know it doesn't relate much to the article itself, but you really should add Eric Clapton's chronology to each of the band's album articles. Michaelas10 20:42, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Yannismarou

In general, a nice and informative article. This is my review:

  • I think you could split the lead in two paragraphs. This would be a better layout.
  • Be more consistent with the inline citations. They always go just after the punctuation without a gap between the citation and the punctuation.
  • In "Duane Allman's inclusion" these two large quotes in a row are not nice for the prose.
  • Again in "Duane Allman's inclusion" citations 10 and 11 are obviously the same. So, why you have two inline citations in the place of one? Correct such technical problems.
  • I don't like "Sample" section. No prose and just one sample. Why don't you get rid of this section and transfer the sample on the top of "The Layla album" section?
  • I agree an "Aftermath" section is necessary. Something about their impact and their musical legacy.
  • I also believe that you should add a section about their musical influences. What where the traits of their music?--Yannismarou 13:18, 7 October 2006 (UTC)
Thank for the expertise, I will definitely split the lead section and I plan to add more so it will look better split. All citations will be fixed and as said earlier overall reducing/eliminating several of the quotes. I had two of the identical sources because earlier someone had put [citation needed] at both locations but I will remove one because like you said its pointless. The Layla sample switch is a great idea and I'll try and add sections their sound and influence. Thanks so much and I will get to work on the fixes as soon as possible. - Patman2648 08:05, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
When he said that there should be one reference instead of two, I believe he meant to a double reference, instead of removing an existing one. Michaelas10 21:57, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
I would also recommend a section on the traits of their music/influences section should be added, describing the musical and structural elements of the band's music. -- Cielomobile talk / contribs 19:00, 9 October 2006 (UTC)