Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Calvin Johnson (American football)
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[edit] Calvin Johnson (American football)
How can I improve this article to (or at least nearer to) Featured Article status? It's been a Good Article since March 02, 2007. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 16:39, 10 August 2007 (UTC)
- Well, this is petty, but are that many references in the lead necessary? If those stats are mentioned elsewhere then 'd prefer they'd be cited there. There's a debate going on about that though, really thugh it looks good so far, I'll give it a more detailed run over later. Wizardman 17:22, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- I took a few of those references out of the lead. The ones that are remaining should probably stay there, as the "more than 45" figure is subject to vandalism and the "good attitude" isn't mentioned elsewhere. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 17:58, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- Alright, that's good. I'd cite all the awards he's gotten, just to be safe as well. I actually think this is very near FA status, I'll look to see what else I ca find but this is very good. Wizardman 00:01, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
- I took a few of those references out of the lead. The ones that are remaining should probably stay there, as the "more than 45" figure is subject to vandalism and the "good attitude" isn't mentioned elsewhere. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 17:58, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- Quick suggestions: The year of his draft should be in the first sentence as it helps establish his notability and/or timeliness of the article. The lead should be further expanded (see WP:LEAD) just a little bit more. The use of "(see below)" is a bit silly - I think readers know that there's more to the article. That sentence seems a bit awkward anyway; I'm not sure his trip necessarily "exemplifies" his humility. Even if it did, that needs sourcing or it's original research to come to that conclusion. The information that it refers to is under the subheading "Academic activities," which doesn't seem to fit (in my opinion). Did he get course credit for this trip, then? Otherwise, it might just be community service. And who gave him these options? And what's a solar latrine? Is it solar-powered, or are these facilities on the sun? (lol) Oh, and that final sentence in that same mini section doesn't need the word "also." The article, in my opinion, has some WP:NPOV problems as it seems to be just non-stop praise. I'm also a huge fan of occasionally repeating the full name of the article's subject, so good work there. But, under the section "NFL draft," the first subsection starts with "Johnson," then the second sentence has "Calvin Johnson." It's more logical to give the full name first, then use just his last name. Also in that subsection, there is a single-sentence paragraph. Actually, a lot of your paragraphs are very short but, personally, as long as they are three sentences, I approve. Towards the end, I'm not familiar with the term "guaranteed money," and other readers might not be either. That's all I have for now. Hope that helps a bit, and good luck! --Midnightdreary 12:08, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
- Addendum: It occurred to me, and confirmed by reading above, that his humility, etc. are mentioned in the lead but not further expanded in the article itself. That may be worth doing, maybe with a quote from a coach or fellow player illustrating it. --Midnightdreary 12:09, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
- I've addressed some of these issues, but not all of them. Good points :) The only sources I have on the Bolivia thing are this and this; they mention that the Georgia Tech Research Institute is somehow involved, but I'm not sure how. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 17:13, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
- I sent an email to someone at GTRI and asked them some questions about the project. IMO the remaining tasks you suggested are 1) expand the lead and 2) move that "good personality" sentence into the body somewhere and add a quote talking about him. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 17:32, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
