User:Whispering/Wiki

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[edit] You know you have been on Wikipedia way too much if...

  1. You meet any of these criteria.
  2. You set your Wikipedia user page as your home page
  3. You start adding ~~~~ to company emails.
  4. You meet a rude person and tell them they should read WP:CIVIL.
  5. You see something online you think can be improved, and look for the edit tab.
  6. You see "Sheila gives good head" graffittied on a wall, take out a marker pen and add [citation needed].
  7. You constantly use words ending in "cruft."
  8. While watching TV late at night (if indeed you do such a thing nowadays), you wish WP:NOTABILITY applied to those people who are allowed to appear night after night and are falsely labeled as "celebrities."
  9. You look at your credit card bill and wish there were an AfD section.
  10. You spend more time editing Wikipedia than you do with your family.
  11. Your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you for paying more attention to this site instead of them.
  12. You start alphabetizing the links on your user page.
  13. You think that Rome was sacked by Willy on Wheels.
  14. You get fed continuously through a tube and sit forever on the toilet to not waste time editing Wikipedia.
  15. You find yourself editing this list.
  16. You attempt to edit live people.
  17. You use Wikipedia to look at porn. (?!) (eeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!)
  18. You use Alt+F to get to every search bar.
  19. The [ and ] keys have gone from "least used" to "worn out," and nobody but you knows where to find them now.
  20. You try to revert vandalism on a toilet wall.
  21. You find yourself having discussions in the real world like this:
    Person: I hear Mavis has run off with the milkman.
    You: I'm sorry, can't comment unless I verify it.
    Person: Yeah, but she is the sort of person...
    You: I'm sorry, I would rather you speak with more of a neutral point of view.
    Person: Yeah, but if you went round there and asked her...
    You: I'm sorry, no original research.
    Person: Oh forget it, you...
    You: Uh-oh, is that going to be a personal attack?
  22. You set Wikipedia.org as your homepage.
  23. You tell your children to become wikibots.
  24. You create an article on your ex-girlfriend and stare at it all day to make sure it doesn't get deleted.
  25. You find this list.
  26. You read this list.
  27. You copy and paste this list onto an e-mail and send it to all your friends (if any) as a chain letter.
  28. You introduce yourself to people using your username.
  29. You get annoyed when there are no popups to preview links on other sites.
  30. You use the phrase instruction creep in normal conversation.
  31. You create articles about yourself.
  32. When you have a new idea, you write it down, followed with {{stub}}
  33. In math class, you make sure to write <nowiki> around your brackets and braces.
  34. You don'''t''' use apostrophes in a normal way anymore.
  35. You find yourself dreaming of editing Wikipedia
  36. While you are doing homework or other projects you use wikimarkup.
  37. You have modified your signature from the standard to how you are feeling that day.
  38. You look in the mail box and see a orange-yellow bar saying "You have a new message" if you have any mail.
  39. You come home from work and tell the wife about the day you had on Wikipedia, not the day you were supposed to have at work
  40. You look for the Random article link when you're bored in class or at work.
  41. You give your kids Barnstars for being good all day... and take them to ArbCom if they are not
  42. Your edit count is higher than the number of minutes you have lived.
  43. You need glasses now, despite the fact that you used to have excellent eyesight.
  44. You have edited a Wikipedia article in a language you don't even know.
  45. You sneak out of the house to edit Wikipedia.
  46. You make more edits in a month than you earn dollars.
  47. You edit Wikipedia on your laptop - in the bathroom.
  48. You can name every article you have started, but don't remember your neighbor's last name.
  49. You record the number of edits you make each day on your calendar.
  50. You add an edit summary when you edit this list.
  51. You try to find the edit button on Encyclopædia Britannica.
  52. You replace:
    1. Undo with revert
    2. Damaging or graffiting with vandalising
    3. Enemy List with Watchlist
    4. Leader with Sysop/Admin
    5. God with Jimbo
  53. You think that Wales is Wiki-heaven.
  54. You have to explain your meaning of "sockpuppet" and "vandalism" to everyone you know when you use them in conversation.
  55. You add something to this page.
  56. You try to edit a book that contains errors.
  57. You think everything you write are copyleft/right under some kind of terms.
  58. Your elementary kids start editing Wikipedia.
  59. You read Wiki to waste time, with no reason.
  60. You somehow traverse from one article, to other, and other, and other, passing all articles in Wikipedia, then back to the starting one, without repeating any of them.
  61. You manage to edit every page you ever come across.
  62. You track down vandals' addresses, and murder them.
  63. You try to create your own web site and end up installing MediaWiki because HTML is such a hassle compared to writing in wikicode.
  64. You no longer have any opinions on anything not related to Wikipedia. If anyone asks you what you think about something, say, the existence of God, you give them a terse summary of the major viewpoints without endorsing any of them.
  65. Your grandparents who don't use the internet know what Wikipedia is just because of you.
  66. Your partner is sick and tired of you whispering words with "wiki" in them in your sleep.
  67. [[Your]] [[family]] [[and]] [[friends]] [[wonder]] [[why]] [[everything]] [[you]] [[type]] [[is]] [[in]] [[brackets]].
  68. Your pet fish is named Disambig.
  69. You wear a Wikipedia shirt almost every day.
  70. On Christmas, you will sing the Wikipedia song instead of Christmas songs.
  71. You stare at the Wikipedia logo and tried to kiss it but instead you kiss the monitor.
  72. Everything needs a number 70.
  73. You wake up on January 15th and have this awful feeling you've forgotten to buy a present.
  74. When you are stopped by the police for speeding, your excuse is, "Ignore All Rules! Ignore All Rules! Ignore All Rules!".
  75. If you say something and want to take it back, you say "db-author".
  76. Strangers know you better than your own wife thanks to userboxes.
  77. You consider WikiAdmins your best friends.
  78. You have attended, or regularly attend, Wikimania.
  79. You constantly reach for the discussion tag every time you disagree with a website.
  80. When you start wondering why all internet pages seem to have the same background... and the same logo, the same font, the same links and the same address.
  81. You meet the RfA Candidates Song's description.
  82. You live in a Wikipedia server.
  83. You only curse on Wikipedia because it isn't censored.
  84. You dropped out of school to contribute 24/7.
  85. You think metaphysics is the study of Wiki-policy.
  86. Wiki-you wiki-can't wiki-stop wiki-adding wiki-these wiki-prefixes wiki-to wiki-every wiki-word wiki-you wiki-say.
  87. You don't pay taxes because you donated so much money to Wikimedia.
  88. You vote neutral on a presidential election.
  89. You bookmarked every single Wikipedia page.
  90. You married a Wikipedian, but divorced because of differing views on notability.
  91. You have nothing else to do other than contribute to this list.
  92. You created a single-purpose account just to edit this list.
  93. Uncle Jimbo is on your Wikipedian recruitment poster.
  94. You list Wikipedia as your religion in response to Jedi census phenomenon.
  95. Whenever you write a title to anything, you draw in the Wikipedia globe on the left of it.
  96. When you monitor pages, the game you play is "War-cruft."
  97. You tell your sister she'll get a ban if she sits in the bathroom too long.
  98. You never play with sock puppets.
  99. You revert faster manually than with Vandal Sniper or popups.
  100. You set up a Wikipedian evangelization channel on TV.
  101. You wrote the 100th item on this list.
  102. Your first stops when you first check Wikipedia in the morning are to WP:DRV, WP:MFD and WP:ANI just to see what happened over night.
  103. When your house was robbed you reported it on WP:AIV instead of going to the Police.
  104. You are a librarian and still have more Userboxes than books.
  105. The last time someone told you that they hate Wikipedia, the only reason you were not charged with murder is that no one could find the body.
  106. The review on your last editor review was Oh dear God help us all.
  107. There are 12 Bots watching your contributions in case you go rogue.
  108. You have so many pages on your watchlist that your browser crashes whenever you try to access it.
  109. You learned new languages just to be able to edit foreign language Wikipedias.
  110. Encyclopædia Britannica? What's that?
  111. You are going to endlessly bang your head on the wall for pressing the enter button without giving an edit summary (see history).
  112. You have more Barnstars than your age.
  113. You always type with bold font.
  114. Your edit count has gone up to infinity.
  115. Even Chuck Norris can't pull off your edit count.
  116. You go to Wikipedia to drown your sorrows instead of drink alcohol.
  117. You now type at 900 wpm thanks to Wikipedia.
  118. If the only two things left on Earth were Wikipedia and a sexually inviting female, you'd choose Wikipedia.
  119. The only reason why you have such a low sperm count is because you keep editing Wikipedia with a laptop on your lap.
  120. You think that objects are not made of atoms, but actually made of Wikipedia logos.
  121. You think that Willy on Wheels stole those puzzle pieces from the Wikipedia logo.
  122. You don't care the President gave you his autograph; Jimbo still hasn't signed your page.
  123. You wrote the 123rd item on this list.
  124. You've gone through 8 computer mice in one month.
  125. You've thrown a party just because you reached the Wikipedia article by clicking Random article.
  126. Your dog is named Jimbo Wales.
  127. You use the <nowiki> </nowiki> tabs more than you use your DVD player.
  128. You want to know why you can't find Wikifruits at the market, but you can find kiwifruits.
  129. You've actually had a Wikifruit.
  130. You've had your kids dress up as Wikipedia globes for Halloween.
  131. You're still reading this.
  132. You haven't left this computer for one week, and you stink!
  133. All the downloaded music in your computer is from the Commons.
  134. You bought your own auxiliary power generator for emergency Wikipedia editing.
  135. The only drug you take is WP:ACID.
  136. When you used to be bored, you used to read a book. Now you stare at your watchlist hitting refresh every five seconds.
  137. Your friends are resigned to not understanding half of what you say.
  138. You plan to set up user accounts for your children the moment they can type.
  139. The only gambling you do is on Wikipedia Roulette.
  140. You gave up going to movie theaters because they refused to show Wikipedia the Movie.
  141. When somebody says you're obnoxious, you reply, "OH NO! I forgot to put that on my userpage!".
  142. You use Wikipedia's Contact us button more than you use your phone.
  143. When you realize someone's been messing with your homework, you frantically start searching for the history button.
  144. You vandalise Uncyclopedia.
  145. You named your kid Admin.
  146. You've won a barnstar for having so many userboxes.
  147. You are a member of every Wikipedia.
  148. You are an administrator on every Wikipedia.
  149. You are an administrator of every wiki on the Web.
  150. You edit every article you come across when you click Random article.
  151. You're still reading this!
  152. You take your 3 year old daughter to WP:SAND to play.
  153. This is your idea of the Pledge of Allegiance:
    I pledge allegiance
    to the icon
    of the Edited Articles of Wikipedia
    and to the general Wikipedians
    for which they edit
    one encyclopedia
    under Jimbo
    invandalizable
    with articles and media
    for all.
  154. You have piercings of puzzle balls all over.
  155. You tried to find "history" on the common webpage, after it had changed.
  156. You think that you are Wikipedia and Wikipedia is you.
  157. You ceased to watch TV news because it is too far NPOV policy
  158. You think that Five pillars of Wikipedia preceded the Five pillars of Islam.
  159. You believe that NPOV is the The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
  160. You believe that Wikipedia enlightened your life, while watching how your old friends are leaving you
  161. You tries to block someone in real life.
  162. You asked your government to recognize Wikipedians as a nation.
  163. ... you asked for that several times
  164. You watch The Adventures of Wikipe-tan.
  165. You wear a sign: "Will Edit For Food."
  166. You don't take your children to ArbCom when they fight because it is a content dispute.
  167. You send thousands of spam emails about Wikipedia to random addresses.
  168. You write your thesis paper on Wikipedia
  169. You write your thesis paper on Wikipedia in its own dedicated Wikipedia page.
  170. You try to find a college where you can major in Wikipedia editing.
  171. You spend time reading this article till this point
  172. You notice that the above point was repeated over and over again.
  173. You wish you didn't need to use the shift key to type the | symbol.
  174. You try to find the "Random Article" button in Encyclopædia Britannica.
  175. You try to change the names of newspaper articles to comply with Wikipedia's naming policy.
  176. You try to edit someone else's edit summaries.
  177. People complain that your Youtube videos of Wikipedia are too boring.
  178. Your user page became a Wikipedia Policy.
  179. The resulting controversy from this policy became notable enough to have an actual article.
  180. That article is on your watchlist, and has resulted in more than 14 laws being made in the real world involving banning wikipedia.
  181. You have broken this law, and another article was made about the case.
  182. You cited Wikipedia to defend yourself while being arrested (see above).
  183. You try to add {{templates}} to news articles which are too short.
  184. When you fix subjunctives on this list.
  185. You actually come to this point and read *this* whole page.
  186. You have memorized the World's Longest Poem by heart.
  187. You have memorized the unicode equivalents for the special characters found on the editing screen.
  188. Every desktop wallpaper you've ever had has been a picture from Commons.
  189. When a salesman tries to sell you a copy of Encyclopædia Britannica, you shut the door on his face, yelling, "Do I look like a Traitor?".
  190. You cite Wikipedia articles as references on other Wikipedia articles.
  191. You have bought a new laptop just for editing Wikipedia
  192. You type *[ ] when you try to add an hyperlink.
  193. You celebrate whenever it's Green Week on RFA.
  194. You never cite Wikipedia articles as references on other Wikipedia articles because it's self-referencing.
  195. You'd rather edit wikipedia than be the richest man in the world
  196. You edited the page on the richest man in the world, just because it was mentioned in this article.
  197. You feel annoyed by anyone who doesn't understand Wikipedia terms or Wiki markup.
  198. A co-worker will not let you work on a project that your team is supposed to be working on, and you suggest they read WP:OWN.
  199. You've been on the site for two years.
  200. You wrote the 200th statement on this page.
  201. You play "Rouge Squadron" instead of Rogue Squadron.
  202. You fail your major exams because your addicted to editing a website that knows more than you.
  203. You have your birthday party at WP:FUN.
  204. You get annoyed when your screensaver kicks in while trying to read this page
  205. You actually disabled your screensaver to read this page
  206. And forgot to turn it back on.
  207. You have the Wikipedia logo set as your desktop (background) image.
  208. You have Wikipedia set as your default search engine.
  209. You have one or more Wikipedia tattoos.
  210. You create an official Wikipedia web browser.
  211. You start a Wikipedia cult new religious movement.
  212. You were the first member of Wikipedia.
  213. You spent all your money on Wikipedia merchandise.
  214. You actually felt the need to add to this list.
  215. You took sewing classes just so you can make your own Wikipedia clothes.
  216. Wikipedia is the only website you ever go to.
  217. Wikipedia is the only thing you do with your computer.
  218. Your desktop is covered with Wikipedia search widgets.
  219. Your keyboard is completly worn out due to Wikipedia.
  220. You know exactly how many edits you've made.
  221. You spend 20 minutes thinking of something witty to add to this page to find that all the good jokes have been used.
  222. You started a Wikipedia club at your school.
  223. Your fraternity/sorority uses Wikipedia (in a positive way!) for initiating new members.
  224. You have started to make an anime series starring Wikipe-tan
  225. Upon reading the above you begin to pray to Jimbo Wales
  226. You pull over into a parking lot in your car to hook onto the internet constantly when driving to avoid not editing Wikipedia for more than 5 minutes.
  227. Instead of saying, "Oh my God!", you say, "Oh my Jimbo!".
  228. You plan on making a Wikipedian nation, where Wikipedia is the offical website and taking a point of view is illegal.
  229. You realize that such a nation is a paradox, since taking the view that taking a point of view is illegal is a POV and therefore should be illegal...
  230. You actually make Wikipedia The Movie.
  231. You wish that you could place {{complex}} tags on your textbooks.
  232. You look for an 'edit' tag when browsing World Book Encyclopedia.
  233. You tell your coworkers to stop vandalizing emails
  234. You report your coworkers to your boss on WP:AIV.
  235. You scribble {{long}} inside a copy of Don Quixote.
  236. You find that you have attempted to type [[WP:HOAX]] in an email to a friend when the friend has told you that a particular websites states that Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie are related.
  237. You repeatedly try using Alt+Shift+S to send an email.
  238. Whenever you see vandalism in real life, you look for the undo tab.
  239. You start the majority of your sentences with "According to Wikipedia..."
  240. You have an account on all languages on Wikipedia, but you only speak English.
  241. When somebody assumes you are insulting them, you say, "Hey! WP:AGF!"
  242. When emphasizing what you say, You stick three fingers up up to represent the '''bold quotations'''. Also, when making a point you make a hash symbol (#) with your fingers.
  243. Instead of telling people to Google something, you tell them to Wikipedia it.
  244. Al Gore sued you for overuse of fossil fuels powering your computer using Wikipedia.
  245. You attempt to send an email with Alt+Shift+S—the same key combo for saving a page on Wikipedia.
  246. You have this page watchlisted.
  247. You hate Weird Al Yankovic for causing the huge onslaught of vandalism on Altlantic Records with his video "White and "Nerdy".
  248. Your hobby is refreshing the Recent Changes page every 2 seconds and undoing recent vandalism.
  249. You actually read to the bottom of this list.

Feel free to add more.

[edit] People who have added to this list