Talk:Vinalia
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A reference to Ovid's Fasti Book IV would be appropriate here, as for any entry covering a Roman festival:
- "Why then, you ask, is the Vinalia Venus’ festival?
- And why does this day belong to Jupiter?"
Etc. Ovid dates the Vinalia to April 23 [1] --Wetman 05:14, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
[edit] Roman Civilizations
-Very informative!
-You may want to integrate what was already written with what you added to the article.
-You might want to add some kind of photo.
Diana Nielsen —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Dnielsen8 (talk • contribs) 21:03, 15 May 2007 (UTC).
[edit] Peer Review
Interesting article that ties in many aspects of Roman Civilization. I realized I should've done a festival rather than a place. Most of my comments are purely stylistic.
Remove "Vinalia" from the beginning.
"the Vinalia urbana or priora, and the Vinalia rustica or altera" - Confusing sounding, I would suggesting putting the second names in parentheses--"Vinalia urbana (or Vinalia priora)"--or at the end of the sentence, i.e., "the Vinalia urbana and the Vinalia rustica, also known as the Vinalia priora and Vinalia altera, respectively." Also, is "urbana" and "rustica" capitalized?
"The Vinalia urbana was celebrated on April 23rd while the Vinalia rustica was celebrated on August 19th." - This is an obvious contradiction with what was previously on the Wiki page (I'm not saying you're wrong), but it might be useful to work the source directly into the sentence, so that readers will more readily accept what you are saying, i.e., "Joe writes in Joe's Book of these celebrations, which were..."
"Each Vinalia celebration featured a ritualistic dedication ..." - "Both celebrations" ; I don't know what 'ritualistic dedication' means.
"For the Romans, the Vinalia celebrations were one of the three most important Roman vintage holidays." - Add 'the' ; What does 'vintage holiday' mean?
"Jupiter himself was worshipped of the Ides of every month ,and the two Vinalia as well." - on the Ides? ; Phrasing, this sentence is saying that Jupiter and the two Vinalia were worshipped on the Ides of every month.
"Ovid makes this huge connection with the goddess of the garden and wine (Venus)." - What connection? That Venus should be part of this celebration? Or that she is the Goddess of wine and the garden? Or what you say in the next sentence?
"The Vinalia urbana was celebrated on April 23rd is honor of the previous year’s wine harvest, thereby, providing a ready made ..." - Replace crossed out words with 'in' ; Add 'the' ; Remove the comma after 'thereby'
"In the early days of the festival, early Romans ..." - Dates of when "early days" refers to? ; Remove the second 'early.'
"However, as time progresses Venus came to ..." - Dates? This sentence (and the previous sent.) begins a new section of this topic, and would be best with a new paragraph. I would also considering moving the previous references to Venus to this paragraph.
"The second of the two Vinalia festivals, rustic Vinalia, which occurred August 19th was celebrated by the inhabitants of all Latium (Italy). " - Replace first strikeout with "However," ; Latium is not all of Italy, so correct the parenthetical statement. Perhaps "... of all Latium, the region of central Italy."
"This ritual is somewhat similar to that of the Vinalia urbana, it was originally sacred for Jupiter, and later was conducted at the Venus temples in honor of the goddess of the garden." - Ritual or festival? ; Remove the word 'somewhat' and be more descriptive to how it is similar, the conluding phrases does not describe such ; Remove the comma after 'Jupiter' ; Replace the end with "in her honor."
"On this occasion, the Flamen Dialis (Jupiter priest) offered lambs to Jupiter on the altar while he broke a bunch of grapes from a vine with his own hands." - Rephrase the italicized part.
"Due to the intense drinking and loss of control as a result, upper-class Roman women were supervised during this festival and sometimes given lower alcoholic content beverages. " - I would either remove this sent. or put it at the end. It doesn't really tie into anything else you've said. Or work in more on what goes on during the ritual, so that stating that drunken insanity occurs makes more sense and does not come as such a surprise to the reader.
"A well-documented account for the origins and rise to the celebration of the festival is given by Festus." -Hyphen : well-documented
Hope this helps. -- Aaron Lee -- Differentialpi 21:24, 15 May 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Roman Civ Peer Review
hey chuck nice article
- I like the organization. It really makes the piece easier to follow.
- One question I had was why was their a shift in focus from Jupiter to Venus?
- You might want to use bullet points for your bibliography, but thats not too importnant
- As a whole it was very informative and right to the point
Billy
