User:UKPhoenix79/quotes

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Here is a list of some quotes that I have come across over the years

[edit] Quotes & Statements

1. "The Difference Between America and England is that "Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way" Earle Hitchner
2. "Socialism is when man exploits man, Capitalism is the reverse" Polish Proverb
3. "There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other. That word is ENGLAND." Sir Winston Churchill
4. "War is how God teaches Americans geography"
5. "Guns don't kill people, it's those little holes!"
6. "Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs"
7. "it is better to kill 100 innocent people than let one guilty person live" Vladimir Lenin
8. "If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm f$#king Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life." The Departed
9. "It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." Alice, Alice in Wonderland
10. "There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle" Robert Alden
11. "Always remember, A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal." Sir Winston Churchill
12. "Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods... So let us celebrate the struggle!" Swahili Warrior Song
13. Adolph Galland, in answer to Hermann Göring's query as to what he needed to win the Battle of Britain: "Just give me a squadron of Spitfires, Herr Reichsmarschall."
14. "User error, Replace user and press any key to continue"
15. "The rich live in the past, the middle class live in the future and the poor live in the present"
16. "Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." P.J. O'Rourke
17. "Don't be humble. You're not that great." Golda Meir
18. "Capital punishment is our societies recognition of the sanctity of human life." Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah.
19. "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." Mayor Marion Barry Washington, D.C.
20. "Bite the wax tadpole." Coca-Cola name as originally translated into Chinese (later changed to "May the mouth rejoice").
21. "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave." Ad slogan "Pepsi comes alive" as initially translated into Chinese.
22. "Facts are stupid things." Ronald Reagan
23. "Greet each new day as a magical journey. Wonderful surprises wait around every bend."
24. "Only the dead have seen the end of war" Plato
25. "People are like the moon, we all have our dark side" Mark Twain
26. "I know not with which weapons WWIII will be fought, but I do know that WWIV will be fought with sticks and stones." Albert Einstein
27. "The avalanche has begun, it is too late for the pebbles to vote."
28. "There are none so blind as those who will not see."
29. "Play in the warmth of the Sun, Dance in the light of the Moon"
30. 
    "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." President George W. Bush, September 13, 2001.
    
    "I don't know where he [Osama] is and I really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority" President George W. Bush, May 13, 2002.
    
    
31. "A Million Deaths are a statistic, one is a tragedy" Joseph Stalin
32. At a Sewage Plant : "Your Number 2 is number 1 to us!" and "Without us you cant Do!"
33. "Voting holds no real power, he who counts the votes has the true power." Joseph Stalin 1927
34. "I had words with my wife, and she had paragraphs to say with me"
35. Knowing that Emperors are Deified upon death the Roman Emperor Vespasian is quoted to say "Oh dear, I fear that I am becoming a God!"
36. "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because your a vegetarian" Dennis Wholey
37. "We came to America to escape oppressive laws, and when we get here I find that [Britain's] laws are better than ours" Dennis Miller on "Politically Incorrect"
38. "In the time of war the law falls silent" Cicero (Roman Statesman)
39. "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." Lily Tomlin
40. "Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."
41. "I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."
42. "don't hit a man with glasses... hit him with a baseball bat"
43. "It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one." -- Phil White
44. "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
45. "If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on."
46. "A closed mouth gathers no feet."
47. "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allan Poe
48. "No good deed goes unpunished." Billy Wilder
49. "A good day is when you wake up without a chalk outline around your body."
50. "If a man says something in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"
51. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." George Carlin
52. "The 100% American is 99% idiot." George Bernard Shaw
53. "VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping."
54. "Perl - the Swiss army chainsaw of UNIX tools" Rob Kolstad
55. "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." Will Rogers
56. "Men get laid, but women get screwed." Quentin Crisp (English writer)
57. "Life is sexually transmitted."
58. "Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure."
59. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe" Jackie Mason
60. "The meek will inherit the earth - but not the mineral rights." J. Paul Getty
61. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." George Carlin
62. "He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, 'Yes, but not right now.'"
63. "Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue"
64. "Common sense is not so common." Voltaire
65. "very funny Scotty now beam down my clothes!"
66. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." Maryon Pearson
67. "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
68. "Indecision may, or may not, be my problem" Jimmy Buffett
69. "A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother."
70. "Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
71. "It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried" Sir Winston Churchill
72. Oscar Wilde wrote "we have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, the language" (The Canterville Ghost, 1888)
73. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

[edit] Writings

RIGHT NOW

• Somebody is thinking of you
• Somebody is caring about you
• Somebody misses you
• Somebody wants to talk to you
• Somebody wants to be with you
• Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble
• Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided
• Somebody wants to hold your hand
• Somebody hopes everything turns out all right
• Somebody wants you to be happy
• Somebody wants you to find him/her
• Somebody is celebrating your successes
• Somebody wants to give you a gift
• Somebody thinks that you ARE a gift
• Somebody loves you
• Somebody admires your strength
• Somebody is thinking of you and smiling
• Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on