Top Gear (series 4)

Challenge: In a race to Monte Carlo Hammond and May take the Eurostar and TGV, while Clarkson drove the Aston Martin DB9. Clarkson wins. He calls the DB9 "motoring perfection" and consistently praises it over all of its competitors and its big brother the Vanquish.

Review: James goes undercover to test drive a Rover CityRover from a Rover dealer after Rover refuse to loan one to the show. With a camera in his tie and cameras almost everywhere else in the streets, He had to test drive it with a dealer in the back seat and without getting him suspicious. May later says it's the worst car he has driven for Top Gear and prefers the Panda on all levels.

Challenge: Clarkson undertook a challenge to see if he could evade being caught in missile lock from an WAH-64D Apache attack helicopter whilst acrobatically driving a super-lightweight Lotus Exige. The helicopter failed to lock in on the Exige when remaining within the confines of the test track. However, when allowed to move further away, the helicopter acquired lock within seconds.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Fay Ripley manages a time of 1:53 on a mildly moist track.

Main review: Jeremy looks at the McLaren Mercedes SLR. Both in the bends and on the straights, the handling and performance is refined from German brute strength using McLaren's British ingenuity. It is garnished with comfortable features from the SL, making it an interesting fusion of supercar and grand tourer. Jeremy is much kinder to the SLR than Hammond was in last series. When taken by the Stig around the track, the German Silver Arrow ends up with the fastest time at 1:20.9 and also the fastest automatic ever. It seems to reverse Clarkson's earlier view that the Porsche Carrera GT is better.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Paul McKenna hypnotises Hammond into forgetting how to drive a car, and thinking a pedal car is his new 911. Paul achieves a lap time of 1:48.

Review Jeremy Clarkson reviews the Alfa Romeo 166 V6 Selespeed, which he unashamedly loves and praises, and then takes it to a near-abandoned village in West Yorkshire coal mining country. He loses grip of reality and recommends that a true car nut should buy a shabby, broken-down miner's house and use the money saved to afford an Alfa with its high depreciation and repair costs.

Review Richard Hammond reviews the Cadillac Escalade in an orthodox way, finding it to be of terrible quality and too expensive. Then, looking beyond the mere material, he gets into the spirit of the car, and sees it as a show-offish bling statement that is very in line with what Top Gear loves.

Review James May reviews FAB 1 (Lady Penelope's pink Rolls Royce custom, which Ford re-created as a latest generation Thunderbird for the recent Thunderbirds movie).

Challenge: Richard Hammond, preposterously, finds out if a nun can drive a monster truck.

Main review: Cars for track days, Porsche 911 GT3 RS versus Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale. Both cars are heavily stripped down with minimal amenities. Clarkson remarks that the Porsche is very plain, while the Ferrari is very complex, and finds the Ferrari is the more astonishing track car. But because the performance is so similar, and the Porsche is so much cheaper, he recommends the Porsche if track times are the only concern. Both cars scored a Power Lap time of 1:22.3 in the hands of the Stig.

Review: Richard Hammond reviews a 1968 Dodge Charger 440 R/T and was tempted to buy one, but found out it won't fit in his garage. Jeremy promptly tells Hammond that the Charger is rubbish and the Dodge Challenger is the right Dodge muscle car to buy.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Celebrity supermodel Jordan, lapping at 1:52

Challenge: The presenters are asked to buy road-legal cars for less than £100 and see how much car they could get. Clarkson buys a terrible Volvo 760, May a technically competent (but with suspect history) Audi 80 1.8E and Hammond a relatively quick but otherwise derided Rover 416GTi. Despite achieving the lowest score after the suite of challenges, Jeremy still wins overall on revealing his Volvo only cost £1, as a token contract payment to take the unwanted old tank off a dealer's hands.

Main challenge: Clarkson finds out if he can drive a V8 TDi Audi A8 from London to Edinburgh and back on one ~20 gallon tank of fuel (a round-trip distance of 800 miles, requiring an average of 40 MPG), destruct-testing Audi's claims of good overall economy in their large, powerful executive car. He tries to drive the car uncharacteristically economically, removing unneccessary weight, not running anything but essential electrical equipment, and never once exceeding 1200 rpm in the 4.2 litre, twin-turbo super-saloon. Though he seemed to have finally run out of fuel 35 miles short, the trip computer (and Audi themselves) underestimated the efficiency potential of its diesel engine and Clarkson's fastidious driving, and he eventually made it to the same filling station he started from on a single tank of fuel. Jeremy completed the challenge after two whole days on the road (with an overnight stop), using plenty of dramatic music and lines from 24 and Apollo 13.

Time Challenge: Can a Ford SportKa, equipped with the world's most advanced (and expensive, at £2500) satellite navigation system beat a flock of racing pigeons? May forgot to use the postcode search and wasted 25 minutes to reach the right address, having originally arrived at an identically named road in the wrong suburb. Regardless, the fastest pigeon won with 30 minutes to spare even after discounting May's mistake, with thirteen others arriving in-between. Clarkson called the SportKa way, way better than a Citroën C2, and ridicules May for losing.

Track: Revised versions of the Impreza vs. Evo battle, with increasingly unwieldy names: Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII MR FQ320 and Subaru Impreza STI WRX WR1. The Impreza does slightly better than its old version 1:29.4 and still slower than the old Evo FQ300. However, the new Evo does 1:26.0, nearly as quick as a Lamborghini Gallardo and significantly better than the new Subaru.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Snooker player Ronnie O'Sullivan comes in at 1:47.3. He also proves he can play a reduced frame of snooker (with four reds instead of fifteen) faster than the Stig can drive Ronnie's own car (a Mercedes SL500) around the track.

Versus Challenge: Hammond and May play a simplified, giant-size round of darts, by firing scrap cars from a cliff edge towards a large target painted on a quarry floor. After two shots each, May decides to place a caravan over the bulls-eye as an "added bonus". Hammond destroys the caravan on his final attempt (with, fittingly, a Volvo) and in doing so comes from behind to win the match.

Main review: Clarkson looks at the Porsche Carrera GT from a "German point of view", explaining its mechanics and silicon carbide with fascination and quiet innuendo, and then gives it a second look from a British standpoint, allowing himself to be overwhelmed by its sheer power. When run around the track (against the (automatic) McLaren-Mercedes SLR time of 1:20.9 from episode 2), it beats the SLR by 1.1 seconds with a lap time of 1:19.8. Clarkson is taken by surprise by the car's qualities while comparing it to other German fast cars. It is unforgiving and high-strung, unlike the GT-like SLR, and although normally Jeremy doesn't like the cold, clinical German supercar, he concludes that this one breaks through the stereotype to gain his full respect. However, as compared to the SLR, it is less powerful, much more difficult to drive, has no luggage space to speak of, and costs more.

Review: Richard Hammond compares the Vauxhall Astra, Mazda 3, and Volkswagen Golf. Hammond notes that the (previously disinteresting) Astra comes with a surprising number of standard features usually available only on more expensive vehicles, but still only manages to be "not bad" (as opposed to actually "good"), and a "pleasant all-rounder for pleasant people." The Mazda 3 offers a lot of kit and practicality for the money, but is the worst to drive and feels cheap all over. Hammond recommends the new Golf for its build quality and image. It's also "the car people buy with their own money," meaning that it will be more desirable both when new, and when it's time to sell on. But both Hammond and Clarkson would rather have an old Ford Focus than any of these new cars, simply because it's so good to drive - and because the "new" Focus shares a platform with the uninspiring Mazda.

Main review: Clarkson, May and Hammond tested the BMW 645CI, Jaguar XK-R and Porsche 911 Carrera 2 on Pendine Sands in the rain, enjoying some spectacular but wild handling due to the low grip and high, RWD power. Clarkson made an allusion to the nature of each car, and also matched each presenter to their cars whilst waiting for Richard to tire of endlessly racing around the Welsh hills ("You've (May) got the Business jet (645i), I've got the Tornado (XK) - where's Hammond with the Messerschmitt (911)?").

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen, who manage to break the car. They score a lap time of 1:53.4, which Clarkson moves up slightly to 1:53.2 because there were two people in the car.

Challenge: Hammond demonstrated that it was safe to sit in a car struck by lightning, by sitting in Volkswagen Golf parked underneath a conductor in a huge Siemens electrical-systems testing "lightning generator". He notes that whilst the rubber tyres are absolutely ineffective as insulators for preventing the multi-kilovolt arc reaching earth, any modern car is an efficient Faraday cage and can be used to safely shield occupants from external sources of electrical potential.

Review: Clarkson reviews the most popular car in Japan, the Nissan Cube, and generally makes fun of its styling, poor performance and handling. He finds it to be a good "tool" in that it is very spacious and practical for the money, but says that "it's got the worst automatic gearbox EVER in the whole world" which, coupled with weak power and weird, emotionless and asymmetrical styling, make it unworthy of importing.

Review: May drives a modernized Jaguar XJS that, freed of a multitude of low-grade parts, actually works as a coherent and enjoyable sports tourer, unlike the poorly built originals.

Review: Hammond looks at the Cadillac CTS, which is not available in Britain. He tests it on some winding roads, referring to "corners: an American car's natural enemy". The results are favourable (as it can now, literally, "drive you around the bend" as opposed to the previous more figurative situation) but Clarkson disagrees, saying simply, "Cadillacs are for pimps and pensioners."

Main review: Clarkson reviews the Renault Clio 182. He likes it even though he considers it unrefined, cheap and unsafe. They conclude that it is like a puppy dog - just plain fun, despite having no manners.

Challenge: Hammond investigates: "Could you run your car on poo?" (or more accurately, LPG made from faecal biomass, with human and bovine waste challenging commercial fossil-fuel LPG). The answer is yes, but the savings are not worth it - even after considering the money also to be made from milking the cows.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Terry Wogan sets a very slow time of 2:03.4, only beating Richard Whitely.

Main review: Clarkson drives the Mercedes CL 65 AMG. He gets a boyish enthusiasm from its overtaking acceleration - once it actually gets going, as it is bogged down by excessive wheelspin from a standing start (when not restricted by the traction control, the use of which only underscores how overpowered the engine is). However, as it's limited to 155 mph, looks like any other Mercedes coupe, and has difficulty putting power down off the line, Jeremy does not recommend it, especially in light of the Aston competition. A half-mile drag race is then undertaken: Mercedes CL 65 AMG VS Aston Martin DB9 VS Bentley Continental GT. The Merc and Bentley bog down off the line, with the lightweight Aston taking an early lead. However, the Mercedes eventually regains grip, regains ground and pulls rapidly away, with the Aston remaining solidly ahead of the Bentley. Though it is not the fastest, all three presenters prefer the Aston Martin.

Challenge: Hammond and May pose as minicab drivers to test the Renault Scenic and the Ford C-MAX. Hammond thinks that the tall hatches are a good update, and that having big doors is a useful thing. May agrees lightheartedly, but thinks that the increased price (about ₤2000) is a ripoff for the slight advantages. Hammond and Clarkson agree after they've seen that taller people are still cramped, the boot is still no larger, and it still seats only five.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Lionel Richie, who breaks a wheel off the Liana. Lap time of 1:50.

Review: A Spyker C8, which the Stig drives to a lap time of 1:27.3. It has a lot of power, but the chassis can't use it well. But the styling is praised as marvelous by Jeremy. It's designed "for those who want to look good at 4 mph rather than those who just want to go 400".

Opening skit: Clarkson takes "a look" at the environmentally friendly Toyota Prius as a counterpoint to the gas-guzzlers making up much of the programme, and promptly ignores it.

Main review: May tests the Maserati Quattroporte, trying to figure out if the car wants to be a luxury saloon or a performance car.

Obituary: Hammond bids a fond farewell to the long lived and widely employed Rover V8 engine, originally a compact Buick V8 that was sold by GM to Rover after initial technical problems. Hammond then sends off the engine by entering a Touring car race in an unmodified Rover SD1.

Star in a reasonably priced car: Martin Clunes took the Liana around the track, with a time of 1:50.0, one second slower than comedy partner Neil Morrissey, but the same time as Clarkson.

Challenge: To see if Diesel technology has caught up to Petrol, Clarkson and Hammond race on the track, with Clarkson in a turbodiesel Skoda Fabia VRS, while Hammond raced him in the supercharged petrol Mini Cooper. The MINI is ahead in the first parts, but is overtaken by the torquier and more powerful Skoda; whether the difference in talent between the drivers has anything to do with it is not mentioned. It is admitted that diesel engines are now equally competitive with petrol models - "a sad day".

Skit: Hammond makes fun of motorists that block box junctions.

Review and Challenge: Clarkson reviews his dream car, the Ford GT. He makes numerous comparisons with the Ford GT40, and graphically illustrates that although he barely fits into the GT, this is an improvement on the original GT40, which he is literally too tall to drive as his head would be trapped in the door. Hammond and May ridicule the GT, on its fuel economy (4 MPG on the track, where it ran dry, or "up to" 12 MPG on official tests), meaning Jeremy would run out of fuel after 75 miles (of a 76 mile commute), and the extreme difficulty of entering the car in a typical public parking space (as part of the roof is attached to the long, thick door) despite James having no problem exiting the Prius in the same "generous" space. The Stig drives it on the track, clocking a lap time of 1:21.9.

Skit: In a possible (unstated) response to the failed attempt of US television show MythBusters to replicate the Jet Taxi myth a few months earlier, Hammond takes Virgin Boeing 747 G-VAST and demonstrates the enormous (and otherwise hard to visualise) power unleashed by just two of its four engines at take-off thrust, by sending a modern Ford Mondeo and a more primitive Citroen 2CV (unmanned) through the jet wake some 50 yards behind the plane, lifting both cars high into the air and wrecking them.

Main review: A roadster comparison with Hammond. The Mercedes SL600 is far too expensive and its huge power is useless. The serious, well-priced descendants to historical British roadsters are driven: Mazda MX-5 vs. Fiat Barchetta vs. Toyota MR2. The Fiat is stylish and well-priced but front-wheel drive, the MR2 is fastest but too serious and too hard to drive; the MX-5 is the best all-rounder.

Review: Clarkson drives the four-wheel drive Jaguar X-Type estate. It has huge space, is good to drive, and despite its primitive 4WD system is unfettered by normal speeds in inclement weather.

Review: Hammond and May go to the Isle of Lewis and Harris, where fewer convertibles are bought per capita than anywhere else in the UK. They go there to test convertibles to see if they can change anyone's mind. The MINI Cooper Cabriolet is too expensive and embarrassing. The Vauxhall Tigra is very cheap and attractive as an overall package. The Mercedes SLK55 is powerful and comfortable but too expensive. The Audi S4 Cabriolet has the same problem, but Hammond loves it for its smart styling, four seats, large boot, and engine noise.

Challenge: Can you parachute into a moving car?

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Sir Ranulph Fiennes talks about running seven marathons on seven continents in seven days, after major heart surgery. Sets a respectable time of 1:51.

Review: Hammond reviews Peugeot 407. It handles fine and looks good, but reliability, build quality, and lack of power are dynamic shortfalls.

Review: May tests the Volvo V50. They are all drab to drive except the T5 version, and with a smaller boot than the Jag last week, he can't fit a sofa in the back.

Review: Hammond tests the new Corvette and finds it to be massively improved over old ones. Clarkson ridicules the antiquated suspension. The Stig drives the Corvette to a lap time of 1:26.8, faster than the Lotus Exige and a Porsche 911 GT3 in the wet.

Review: Clarkson finds out how good the BMW X3 is. It's well-priced and has a good engine, but an unacceptably harsh ride, poor build-quality, and a hideous exterior. As an offroader it's even worse, so they recommend buying a BMW 5-Series over it for all sane buyers.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Patrick Kielty, who has a bone to pick after being beaten by Clarkson in an earlier race. Talks about his new purchase of a Delorean DMC-12 and sets a fast time of 1:48, despite breaking the front suspension during a practice lap.

Skit: Olympic Games for cars: Long Jump. The Americans are represented by the oldest and heaviest AMC Pacer, the Czechs are represented by the more modern Skoda Favorit, the French have the lightweight Citroën 2CV, the Russians bring their Lada Riva 1.5 estate, and the British take them all on with the underpowered Austin Maestro.

Challenge:Is the new Peugeot 407 any good as a pace car? It does fine with its good handling, but it's extremely underpowered.

Best of Top Gear: A review of the series.

Challenge: In a race to Monte Carlo Hammond and May take the Eurostar and TGV, while Clarkson drove the Aston Martin DB9.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen, who manage to break the car, 1:53.4 which Clarkson moves up to 1:53.2 because there were two people in the car.

Review: May drives a modernized Jaguar XJS that actually works, unlike the original ones.

Skit: Hammond and May attempt to play darts by firing cars from the edge of a gorge towards a large horizontal target. (From Series 4, Episode 4.)

Skit: Cool Wall.

Review: Richard Hammond reviews a 1968 Dodge Charger 440 R/T and was tempted to buy one, but found out it won't fit in his garage.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Snooker player Ronnie O'Sullivan comes second at 1:47.3. Also proves he can play a frame of snooker (with four reds instead of 15 and the rest as normal) faster than the Stig can drive his car around the track.

Review: Cars for track days, Porsche 911 GT3 RS versus Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale.