Top Gear (series 3)

Main review: The heavily-anticipated Ford GT. Jeremy relates his fond memories for the old 1960s Ford GT40 and is thrilled to see that they've made a new car that is just as beautiful. After introducing the intentions of Ford, and driving the new machine, he is delighted to report that it handles like a Lotus Elise, goes faster than a Ferrari 360, sounds better than a Honda NSX, and shocks like a Lamborghini Murcielago. Also, it's priced like a Ford, so it's considerably cheaper than the Ferrari and the Lamborghini with which it competes. For him it is a nostalgic evocation of 1960s Detroit.

Review: James reviews the new BMW 5-Series. He defends the aggressive and cacophonous styling by Chris Bangle, arguing that it's still a no-brainer because of reliability, technology, and image.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Singer Martin Kemp, comparisons between him and Ross Kemp discussed: both on EastEnders, both moved to ITV, both like Porsche 911s, both called Kemp and both set a time of 1:54.0

Challenge: One lap of the M25 in diesel and petrol versions of Volkswagen Lupo. Jeremy is very impressed by the comfort and space afforded to the driver by the tiny car, and the midrange power available from the small turbodiesel engine making it more useful in everyday situations than the numerically faster petrol motor. Refuelling at the end of the run, he found the diesel managed an economy of 75 mpg, vs 45 mpg for the petrol fuelled car travelling in convoy, and spends the money he saved on fuel buying a tacky golden cock from the service station.

Skit: Jeremy and Richard discuss readers' letters, starting with the baffling phenomenon of women writing to complain about their male partners' love of cars and Top Gear, which leads into Richard showing off some remote-locking triggering "moves", and Jeremy (successfully) testing the strange notion that transmission distance is improved if you hold the keyfob against your head.

Review: Richard reviews the new Porsche 911 GT3, he and Jeremy say that due to its speed it's the best car they've driven all year. The Stig did a lap of 1:27.2 on a very wet track.

Skit: The original (black-suited) Stig goes 109 mph in a Jaguar XJS on the HMS Invincible, flying off the deck.

Introduction: Jeremy announces the death of the Stig and reveals the new (white suited) one.

Review: Jeremy tested the BMW M3 CSL after introducing us to the heritage of the CSL moniker in the original Batmobile. As for the new car, Jeremy said it was a magnificent car, 10 - 20% better than he expected- and he expected it to be fantastic. The Stig's time was 1:28.0 in the wet.

Main review: The team visited the Isle of Man to test old BMW sports cars, the 1970s M1, the original M3, and the second-gen M5.

Challenge: A Volvo 240 tries to jump four Caravans side-by-side, yet it only manages to jump over two, crashing into the others.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Stephen Fry tells how he can't go to the Isle of Man due to homosexuality. He also tells about the advantages of not being a taxi driver but driving a London Taxi. Jeremy points out that Stephen drives a Saab and so it is unlikely that any cycling lady would give him the car-hating look of death. Completed his lap in 1:54 in "mildly moist" weather.

Road Tests: The team test three two seater convertibles on the Isle of Man: BMW Z4, Porsche Boxster & Honda S2000. As it's too hard to decide the best car, they decide by seeing which one was fastest around the track. The Stig drives the Honda to a lap time of 1:37.4, the BMW to 1:37.3, but at 1.37.0 the fastest car was the Boxster.

Main review: Bentley Continental GT. In the previous series all three presenters were clamouring for the chance to drive it, with it eventually being revealed that Jeremy won out. But he wasn't impressed. Though the car is good for overtaking (0-60 in 4.8 seconds) and it has an immensely high top speed of 198 mph, he found it to be too much of a Volkswagen and rather cramped inside. It seemed to lack character. Jeremy was forced to conclude it was a good car, but could never call it a great car.

Review: May, acknowledging that the aristocracy will never buy new Bentleys, tries to find out what they would be buying. He reviews the Subaru Legacy Outback, he says it's sturdy, comfortable, sporty and perfect for "aristocrats with children called Reginald"

Information Film: Using a swimming pool, Hammond showed the dangers of being in a car that is sinking in water; he demonstrated that you should open the car doors as soon as it strikes the water, rather than waiting for the car to fill with water and the pressure to equalize.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Rob Brydon, Top Gear's first ever Welshman. Jeremy tells Brydon about his love of Marion and Geoff. Brydon came third at 1:48.6, a result which surprised and delighted him.

Cool Wall: Bentley Continental GT is cool as long as David Beckham does not own one. BMW M3 CSL is seriously uncool because of the carbon fiber roof and bought by those with "gear shift aggression strategy". Ford GT is uncool. Porsche 911 GT3 was sub-zero when a woman in the audience told Jeremy he would make the second date. BMW 5-series is seriously uncool.

Review: Jeremy reviews and compares the hot Saab 9-5 to an aeroplane. On the track the Saab was powerful but conventional and, glaringly, front-wheel drive. However, the midrange potency of the turbocharged engine was fantastic, and the handling was very safe and predictable, if poor on a track. Thought it went in the cool section of the Cool Wall, Jeremy admitted he could not find out why dentists with Saabs have "that knowing grin" on their faces.

Challenge: The Stig drives a Saab 9-5 vs a Harrier Jump Jet, the BAE Sea Harrier did the lap in 31.2 seconds and the Saab did it in the slower time of 1:37.9.

Main review: Hammond tests several new Mini Coopers, finding trouble telling much difference between most of them: the BMW-official Works Cooper S, and the third-party tuned Hartge Cooper S, Digi-tec Cooper S and wild 275-bhp BBR Cooper S. Despite it being the most expensive and second slowest, Richard chooses the official model, favouring a warranty and more assured engineering over the small improvements in performance afforded by the others.

Documentary and Review: Due to the 40th anniversary of car company Lamborghini, Hammond and May test some classic cars. Hammond tests the 1967 Lamborghini Miura, commenting on its controversial, trend-setting styling and engine positioning; and rides in an improved 1971 SV version with its owner, musician and supercar enthusiast Jay Kay. May tests his childhood dream car, the 1980s Lamborghini Countach, finding it as fast and great-sounding as the bedroom posters suggested, but utterly terrible to drive, ride in, and especially to park. Clarkson shows the Lamborghini LM002, a huge V12-engined SUV, and marvels at how much fuel it drinks and its comically poor handling. Also, the modern Murcielago returns for a second power lap (after a wet lap in series 1), and proves the "dead" Stig's supposition that it would top the board with a dry track, setting a record time of 1:23.7.

Star in a reasonably priced car: American comedian Rich Hall improvises a country song about a Rover 25, relates his career as a storm-namer, and set a time of 1:54.

Review: Clarkson tests the new Lamborghini Gallardo. He's happy to find that Lamborghini idiocy hasn't been entirely neutered by the Germans, but finds the Gallardo to be just a bit boring in comparison to the Murcielago, having lost some of its fire and lunacy. Stig sets a lap time of 1:25.8, several places below its predecessor.

Main review: Clarkson tests the 1.3 litre Wankel Mazda RX-8 on the track, saying that despite the mixed styling it performs well and for £22,000 is good value for money. Though appearing to be a coupe, the Mazda retains small rear doors and has some of the practicality of a four-door saloon. The Stig sets a lap time of 1:31.8, being the same as the BMW M3 and the Nissan 350Z, to which Clarkson remarks that the Mazda be the better car in all ways: performance, handling, price, practicality, and comfort.

Documentary/Review: Hammond looks at several cars deemed to be good investments as future 'classic' cars. These include the Volkswagen Corrado VR6 and the Mercedes 190E 2.5-16 Cosworth.

Crock or Classic: New segment in which Hammond and May decide which cars are future classics and which are crock. Lexus LS is crock, Ferrari F355, BMW Z1, Citroën XM, BMW CSL, Volkswagen Corrado and Mercedes 190E are classic.

Challenge: The team set the challenge of finding the best wig for a fast drive in an open top convertible. They find that the cheaper, synthetic wigs fare better at high speed, and that optional wind deflectors are effective at keeping the wig on your head at high speed.

Star in a reasonably priced car: Sony BMG executive Pop Idol/X Factor judge Simon Cowell joins the leaderboard with a time of 1:47.1.

Cool Wall: Daihatsu Copen is uncool, Mazda RX-8 is cool, Nissan 350Z is uncool, Lamborghini Gallardo is uncool and BMW M3 is Seriously Uncool. Jeremy says, as he will always reiterate, that the M3 is "exclusively driven by cocks."

Review: May reviews the new Fiat Panda city car, car of the year. He has actually bought a Panda for himself and is astonished that the Italians have made a car that is durable and well-priced. It is slow, but James considers that unimportant to the character of the car.

Challenge: How tough is a Toyota Hilux pickup truck? Clarkson performs a number of tests on the robust vehicle including drowning, ramming into buildings and a tree, and setting ablaze. The car still works afterwards.

Review: Jeremy reviewed the Citroën C2, the successor to the old Citroën Saxo. He found the C2 was cheap, extremely economical, easy to drive, and perfect for environmentalists and old people. As a car on the track, the hot C2 is not very good and has a terrible flappy-paddle gearbox. But merely because of free insurance, low prices, and ease of modification, he finds that it is the darling of customization-minded youths.

Review: May reviews Aston Martin V8 Vantage, saying if he could only drive one supercar for the rest of his life, it would be this one. May's review becomes a sort of history lesson, showing how the British differentiated their supercars by refusing unorthodox mid- or rear-engined configurations and keeping them with a modicum of practicality and comfort. However, at least in 1977, it was a resounding success: faster than a Ferrari Daytona, comfortable, and with a decent boot.

Review: Hammond looks at two cars with folding metal roofs, the Renault Megane CC and the Peugeot 307 CC. They are fashionable and cool, but are ridiculously underpowered and heavy, sloppy to drive, and faddish in their market.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Sanjeev Bhaskar tells about horror stories he heard about India's roads, particularly one from Paul McGann. He sets a time of 1:51.5 despite having an ornamental tissue box in the back seat (as a tribute to Indian taxi drivers).

Main Review: Holden Monaro, sold as a Vauxhall in Britain, Australia's first contribution since the rotary washing line. Jeremy says it was a good car due to fun V8 power and handling and makes numerous remarks about Australia losing to England in the rugby world cup final. Lap time of 1:33.9.

Challenge: James May places a Toyota Hilux on top a tower block being demolished, it survives. The presenters decide not to keep brutalizing it, and they make a display in the studio out of it.

Main review: MG XPower SV, which Jeremy finds to be beautiful and with a powerful, throaty Ford Mustang V8. It is fast on the track, but poorly made, insanely expensive, and less reliable than a TVR or any foreign rivals. Richard later mocks Jeremy when he hits his head on the interior. Did a lap of 1:28.6 in the dry, better than a Porsche 911 Turbo in the wet, but was not good enough to beat any of its price-range rivals.

Challenge: Top Gear boffin burn-out! Which professor can do the best burn-out?

Review: Clarkson reviews the new Porsche Cayenne Turbo, the Germans' conceptualization of a "Tank GTI," and tests the off-road abilities in Bovington, Dorset. It is a brilliant car from a technological standpoint. Equally amazing both as a sports saloon and an offroading monster, it is powerful, handles well, has excellent brakes, a high top speed, a sporty but comfortable chassis, and works as well offroad as a Range Rover. Jeremy doesn't care, nor does he care that it guzzles petrol, has little space inside, and costs a whopping £70,000. But he can't stand it for its looks, saying it's "less attractive than a gangrenous wound and has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis." May agrees that it is so hideous that it should not be bought by anyone.

Review: Hammond reviews the McLaren Mercedes SLR in South Africa. He isn't very impressed, especially by the brakes, hard ride, and interior quality.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Rory Bremner reads car adverts in the voice of Julian Clary, Prince Charles and Nelson Mandela and his meeting with Murray Walker. He talks about the high attrition rate of old Alfa Romeos on classic rallies. He came second at 1:47.9.

Review: Clarkson, Hammond and May set off to find the best British car. Clarkson chooses the Noble M12, Hammond takes the Morgan Plus 8, and May picks the Rover 75. Clarkson manages to drive the M12 around the track, get out, and read a book {The Very Hungry Caterpillar) before Hammond crosses the line. None of them change their mind, but the audience selects the Noble as the best.

Main review: Hammond compares a Nissan Micra to a Boeing 737 (BBJ-2). He claims that, at ₤9000 per hour, the jet isn't very good value, particularly since you can get a loaded Micra for about the same price.

Review: Jeremy shows us how few cars can withstand the test of time. He reviews a '60s Mercedes 280SL (Mercedes-Benz W113) and expects to hate it, so that he can get rid of the idea of owning one. But it turns out that Mercs were built extremely well at the time, and they can be rebuilt cheaply if necessary. He recommends the buy to anyone who has an old-car fetish, like James and himself, also pointing out that it is better-made than any modern Mercedes.

Review: James drives a 1970s Aston Martin Lagonda, saying it is crazy and bold but in a good way. He starts to recommend it because they have depreciated to nothingness, but then realizes that the cost of running it, not to mention replacing the engine and electrics when they go wrong, would be prohibitive.

Challenge: In the 'Top Gear Generation Game', 5 of Richard Hammond's modern cars versus 5 of Clarkson's older cars in a drag race; the old cars win 3-2. Golf GTIs and Toyota MR2s of old and new are challenged. The fabled Ford Escort RS Cosworth goes up against the new Ford Focus RS, and the Peugeot 205 battles the Peugeot 206. After a tie in the first four contests, the Nissan 350Z is narrowly beaten as the twin turbos of the Nissan 300ZX kick in, resulting in a victory for the old cars.

Star in a Reasonably Priced car: Comedian Johnny Vegas who does not have a driving license, comes in 1:58.6, beating Harry Enfield and Richard Whitely who both have driving licenses.

Review: Audi TT V6, for which Jeremy spends three hours dressing. The styling is perfect for the fashion-obsessed male, but it's not quick enough to keep you from being late. He says it is very similar to the old one, which he didn't like. Some praise is reserved for the clever gearbox, but it isn't enough to save the TT. Lap time of 1:31.4.

A Cut-Price Top Gear as the team claim to have spent all the money for the series already. James plays the theme tune on a Casio keyboard.

Reviews: Jeremy drives the Chrysler Crossfire; he has nothing good to say about it. It is lighter than its competitors, but nowhere near as powerful. It doesn't handle well, doesn't look very good, isn't very practical, has poor build quality, and has a terrible manual gearbox. Richard and James use vivid language to explain how cataclysmically bad the automatic gearbox is. Jeremy is so intrigued that he vows to one day drive an automatic Crossfire.

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Carol Vorderman tells about her love of Jaguars and Formula 1 and does the lap in 1:51.1 (MM as in Mildly Moist).

Main review: Hammond introduces the Honda Civic Type-R and drives the eager hot hatch until it is revealed they have enough money to introduce a relatively cheap supercar, bringing out the Honda NSX Type R, with its thrilling V6 engine race-tuned to deliver 300 bhp. Hammond says the car is the bargain of the century, and finds it scintillating to drive on a dry track, but still too expensive for anyone to pay for a Honda. Some criticism is doled to the geeky weight-saving measures, like replacing the leather at the base of the gear knob with fine mesh. In the wet it isn't as fabulous; it does a lap of 1:31.6, only slightly slower than the Porsche 911 Turbo in the same conditions, but with 100 fewer horses.

Review: Hammond briefly drives the Smart Roadster Brabus V6 Biturbo. As a special one-off model created by gluing two three-cylinder turbocharged engines together, it has a massive price. Hammond does not recommend it, even with the improved performance, because of the shoddy gearbox.

Skit: Simon Cowell accepts an award for being the fastest celebrity of the year. A cool customer, he isn't scared at all when the Stig spins out driving him around in a Noble M12.

Best of Top Gear: A review of the series.

Review: Jaguar XK RR vs Aston Martin DB7 GT

Challenge: Capt. Slow has the Hilux placed on a tower block.

Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car: Martin Kemp

Review: May reviews the new BMW 5 Series

Review: Hammond reviews the Porsche 911 GT3, and then The Stig takes it around the track

Skit: The Death of the original Stig

Review: Clarkson is jetted off to Detroit, and begins his doomed love-affair with the new Ford GT

Challenge: The Hilux survives the demolition of a tower block, and drives, triumphant, into the studio