User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a: redundancy exercises

SOLUTION A: There are three established methods available for the delignification
of lignocellulosic biomass.

• "Available" is redundant because its meaning is contained in "There are".

SOLUTION B: These two species are both members of the equine family.

OR: These two species are both members of the equine family.

• Only one of these two words is required. If you want to emphasise (grammatically mark) the fact that the two species are in the same family—for example, because it's unexpected or unusual—retain "both" and remove "two". "Both" is an amplifier.

SOLUTION C: They invaded the coast and brought along European diseases.

• "Along", in this context, is one of a number of redundant prepositions that have crept into spoken English.

SOLUTION D: The manager has plans to accept the offer.

• Changing the grammar ("plans" is now a verb rather than a noun) allows one word to be dropped.

SOLUTION E: The least accessible forested areas were
the last ones to be cleared.

• "The last" ("i.e., the last forested areas that we cleared") already refers back to the theme—"ones" does this too, and we don't need another back-reference.

SOLUTION F: Both the parents chose to educate their children in Beijing.

• Knowing where to insert "the" and "a", and where not to, is a major problem for many non-native speakers.

SOLUTION G: This involves the provision of a reference section, complemented
by inline citations for quotations and any material that is challenged or likely to be challenged.

• "Any" adds no meaning.

SOLUTION H: The orbiter project, cancelled in 2005, would have specifically targeted
Europa, Ganymede and Callisto.

• Targeting is specific.

SOLUTION A: This question rarely arises outside of the soccer league.

• The "of" in "outside of" and "inside of" is useless and should be avoided, even in oral mode.

SOLUTION B: More than two-thirds of the villagers have received some rice.

• "Some" is so vague that it's useless; ask yourself what the opposite of "some" is, anyway. The exception may be where "some" is contrastive, and thus carries the news of the clause: "they received some rice, but not as much as they were expecting/owed".

SOLUTION C: The 2000 fountain pen was originally released in 1966 and is still in
production today.

• "Still" and "today" carry virtually the same meaning. "Today" makes your reader momentarily ponder whether the meaning is "this very day" or more generally, "nowadays", so it's probably a better candidate for removal. In most cases, you could remove "originally"; that is, unless you're referring to a number of releases, which is an unlikely scenario.

SOLUTION D: This thick shield blocks out damage from potentially lethal X-rays.

• Another redundant preposition that has crept into spoken English, like "outside of".

SOLUTION E: The coastal region is an exception and it enjoys a flourishing tourist industry.

• By using ellipsis (the omission of an assumed item rather than its repetition), the clause is more elegant and, ironically, has greater cohesion. Much nicer.

SOLUTION F: Longer tonicisations may also include other secondary chords.

• Even without the larger context, it's obvious that "also" is idle here; "other" is quite sufficient for the sense.

SOLUTION G: The launch was postponed from the previous day, after the discovery that
the software was malfunctioning.

• The writer is wrongly emphasising the movement of the event from the previous to the current
  day—the decision to postpone was made on the previous day, not "from" it.

SOLUTION H: Cystic fibrosis is a common hereditary genetic disorder that
affects many different parts of the body.

• "Many" is sufficient for the sense; the reader will assume that they're different unless you state otherwise.

SOLUTION A: These findings posed a great number of many problems.

• Why use four words when one will do?

SOLUTION B: Recent analyses of available historical records show why the
European settlement of Greenland failed.

• Hint: does the opposite make sense—"unavailable historical records"? (User bobanny has kindly pointed out that, strictly speaking, some historical records may be unavailable for security or other reasons; however, in almost all contexts, "available" in this sentence would be unnecessary.)

SOLUTION C: After the punch-up at the grand final, the NCAA took measures to prevent
major brawls from happening again.

• Try the opposite as a thought experiment: would the NCAA try to prevent brawls in the past?

SOLUTION D: In the year of 1988, there were renewed efforts to boost the
government's popularity.

• 1988 is a year; your readers don't need to be told.

SOLUTION E: For each play, it was up to her to determine what sets would be required
the required sets.

• Simplifying the grammar, as usual, yields crisper, stronger wording.

SOLUTION F: She mostly takes minor roles in a wide variety of low-budget films.

• The struck phrase adds little or nothing to the sense. (One user has queried whether this is the case—see talk page)

SOLUTION G: These aspects serve to distort some of the elements of the
architecture, such as structure and envelope.

• Serve whom? The more direct wording loses little or no meaning.
• There's a temptation to use "some" to convey the sense of "not all" elements of a set. But there's no need, because if you did mean "all of the elements", you'd write it explicitly. Thus, "some", as usual, is redundant: just writing "elements" (the plural of "an element") means "more than one element, but not all of them".

SOLUTION H: This kind of commercial success was repeated in many countries.

• "Kind of" was intended to broaden the scope of "commercial success" (i.e., "commercial successes that are similar to, but not necessarily the same as the one I've just told you about"). However, the term "commercial success" is quite broad enough already; "kind of" adds nothing useful.

SOLUTION I: As a result of By making such decisions, poker players are able to
maximise their odds and win more money.

• The first change is a grammatical solution that yields neater, shorter wording.
• The second change removes an unnecessary emphasis on ability in favour of what actually happens. (It might just be that the larger context concerns players' ability, or the challenges they must overcome to make money, and that you might want to retain that nuance in this statement; but that would be unusual.)

SOLUTION J: More than 300 million Led Zeppelin albums have been sold worldwide,
including 109.5 million sales in the US alone.

• "Sold" doesn't need to be reinforced here by "sales"; this is an "ellipsis", where "109.5 million Led Zeppelin albums sales" is assumed, because we've just read "300 million Led Zeppelin albums have been sold".
• "In the US" is already constrasted with "worldwide"; adding "alone" is an unnecessary amplification.

SOLUTION K: Apart from the poets mentioned in the Kavirajamarga, later
Kannada writers mention three poets as being eminent among their predecessors.

• The second occurrence of "poets" and the inclusion of "among their predecessors" can be omitted as an ellipsis.
• "Being" is unnecessary; the grammar has now shifted to referring to something as X; this requires no verb be, since "as" does the job of equating.

SOLUTION L: Due to problems with some of the more novel features of Bulleid's
design, all members of the class were subsequently rebuilt by British Railways
during the late 1950s, losing their air-smoothed casings in the process. A third of the class
avoided the scrapper, and they can be seen on heritage railways throughout Great Britain.

• ""Subsequently" is redundant because the sequence of events is clear without it.
• "They" can be removed and understood by the process of ellipsis.