User:Thespoody
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FACADE STAGEPLAY Fri Jun 08 20 17 11 2007
GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP What, Grace... this?
GRACE Yes, you know how I feel about it --
TRIP I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! -- (interrupted)
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
TRIP Uhp, he's here!
GRACE What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!
TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE Trip...!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP Kha!!
TRIP Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)
KHA HEY TRIP
TRIP Ha ha ha!
TRIP Wow, it's really really great to see you.
TRIP Well come on in!
GRACE No, no, here we are!
GRACE Kha,
GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!
TRIP Yeah, it has been a long time.
KHA do i know you woman?
GRACE And, -- (interrupted)
GRACE Uh...
GRACE So, come in, make yourself at home...
KHA okay
GRACE Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)
GRACE And, I've got to say, you look really good! -- (interrupted)
KHA woman go get me some beer
TRIP Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!
TRIP Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking glasses.
TRIP So! Drinks!
(Trip closes the front door.)
TRIP What would you like?
TRIP How about something fun,
TRIP like sangria?
TRIP I'm a real expert at fixing these, at least that's what everybody tells me. -- (interrupted)
KHA no
TRIP What? Oh I thought you'd love that...!
KHA i want beer
GRACE Trip don't pressure our friend, okay?
GRACE Kha, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?
GRACE Okay! Trip, you heard him!
TRIP Alright, alright!
KHA No, i want beer
TRIP Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...
TRIP So, anyhow...
TRIP I keep my bar fully stocked with the best money can buy, so we can always do it another time.
TRIP Grace, maybe at least you'll drink with me? I'll make us something real nice, light on the alcohol, what do you say?
KHA i want a beer
GRACE You know, I don't want to drink tonight.
GRACE Just some -- (interrupted)
TRIP Heh heh, Kha, seeing -- (interrupted)
KHA god are you people dense
TRIP Wha... uh...
GRACE Oh, Trip, he's just teasing you... It's good, we all need that once in a while.
TRIP Heh heh ha ha ha ha, ha...
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
TRIP Alright Grace, your drink is ready.
GRACE Thanks.
TRIP Hey, I just realized something.
KHA I JACKED YOUR DRINK BITCH
GRACE What... -- (interrupted)
TRIP God, where is this coming from?!
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE Trip --
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
TRIP Well, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE Where are you going? Trip --
TRIP Just stay with our guest. I'll be in the kitchen.
KHA yes you are
KHA get back here trip
GRACE (frustrated sigh)
KHA it's important to face your fears
GRACE Um, Trip, if -- if it's at all convenient, could you --
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE could you switch on the french souffle steamer for me? Just... Just set it to le pouf.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE Could you do that for me?
KHA LE POOF
GRACE Uhh, God, why does every conversation I have these days turn into a series of pathetic miscommunications...
KHA what in the hell?
KHA hey woman, go clean this cup
GRACE I hope you don't interpret... this... somehow... ha... -- (interrupted)
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
GRACE You know, I don't know where he gets it, but Trip is so obsessed with what you and everybody thinks about us, how much do they like us...
KHA i know
TRIP Grace!
GRACE Yes, Trip?
TRIP Grace!!
GRACE Yes, what?
TRIP Grace, are you listening to me?
GRACE Yes, yes, what is it?
KHA go in there and talk to him
GRACE Kha,
GRACE what I just want tonight, if you can... is to just be my friend...
KHA i wont steal anything
TRIP What was that?
GRACE What?
TRIP Never mind... I can't find the brie. Where did you hide it? -- (interrupted)
KHA she wants to have sex with me trip
TRIP God! What have you two been talking about in here?
TRIP Maybe I should have stayed in the kitchen.
GRACE No, Trip, no, everything's fine, we didn't talk about anything.
KHA she has been sucking my fat cock
TRIP uh, um...
GRACE uh...!
TRIP god, I don't, um...
GRACE wha...!
TRIP wha...
GRACE ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
TRIP heh, ha ha...
TRIP ha ha ha!
GRACE ha ha ha ha ha!!
TRIP Ha ha ha, Kha,
GRACE heh heh...
TRIP heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...
TRIP heh, ha ha...
TRIP You're not afraid to say anything, are you?
TRIP push our little buttons...
TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?
TRIP ha ha...
KHA i sure pushed your wifes buttons
TRIP (big sigh)
TRIP Uhh, any -- anyway, uh... what were we talking about?
TRIP Kha, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...
GRACE (impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer --
TRIP Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend -- (interrupted)
KHA whatever
GRACE Oh no, no, go look at Trip's Italy photo...
(KHA points to the italy picture.)
(KHA points to the italy picture.)
GRACE Kha, come over here and sit on the couch with me.
(KHA points to the italy picture.)
(KHA points to the italy picture.)
TRIP Grace...!!!
TRIP Now, now, Kha, in one word, what does this picture -- (interrupted)
GRACE Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our friend very uncomfortable!
(KHA sits on the couch.)
TRIP Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon!
GRACE What? Kha, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's all. -- (interrupted)
KHA come sit with me grace
TRIP Jesus, -- (interrupted)
TRIP Oh, I didn't think you cared to hear about our Italy trip... (big sigh)
GRACE All those business trips of yours to Europe must have done something to you.
TRIP uhh!!!!
GRACE You know, ever since we got married, I can't help it, I'm forever buying new furniture and redecorating,
GRACE I -- I really enjoy it --
TRIP Yeah, it's in your blood, you grew up with this stuff.
KHA grace do you paint
GRACE Yeah I just had to have these paintings...
(Trip sips his player's drink.)
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
GRACE but... no, I'm wrong, these look completely amateurish and gauche.
TRIP Oh come on! Jesus why can't you just be happy with this? This is fine! -- (interrupted)
KHA no they are great
GRACE Ah, thank you, I knew you'd give me an honest answer --
TRIP Uhh, it's just decorating for Christ's sake, you're turning this into some big issue --
KHA just kidding they suck ass
GRACE You know, Trip, if you -- (interrupted)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP you... -- (interrupted)
TRIP You said...
GRACE His...
GRACE I -- I thought...
GRACE He...
TRIP You...
GRACE uh...
TRIP We need to um... uh...
KHA wow trip
TRIP We've got to ask the...
GRACE Yeah...
KHA dual wielding beer huh?
TRIP the shoe repair guy...
GRACE figure out how we're going to carry all that...
TRIP Oh good idea, yeah, yeah...
TRIP (long release sigh)
TRIP yeah...
KHA you must be an alcoholic
GRACE (happy but tense sigh)
GRACE Kha,
GRACE you and I are getting along so well tonight...
(Trip sips his player's drink.)
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
GRACE Stay there for a moment...
GRACE I want your opinion. Stay there.
GRACE Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful work table.
GRACE Maybe if I replaced it with... um...
TRIP Do you... do you remember, Grace...
GRACE What.
TRIP How I proposed to you.
GRACE Oh, God, Trip --
TRIP Here, Kha, I'll show you.
KHA why are you asking me this shit
TRIP It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college --
GRACE Trip, what are you doing?!
TRIP I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and --
GRACE Stop it, Trip!
TRIP I pulled out a diamond ring --
GRACE Trip!
TRIP And I said, Grace, will you marry me?
KHA hahah you get on your knees alot
KHA dont you trip?
TRIP Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?!
TRIP Kha, yes? Very romantic?
KHA YES
GRACE Oh, God, Kha, you think this is romantic? (frustrated sigh)
TRIP Grace, our friend agrees, what could be more romantic than that?
KHA yes
GRACE Okay, sure. Romantic. Yeah.
GRACE
Diamond ring, one on knee, the whole bit. Yeah.
TRIP Grace, I -- I just wanted to share that moment with our friend.
GRACE Great.
TRIP (clears throat)
GRACE Ahh, I'm going to go crazy!
TRIP Ahh, this is bullshit!
TRIP Goddamn romantic... wedding proposal...
TRIP I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant! I do, I really try! -- (interrupted)
KHA YOU SAID BULLSHIT
GRACE What?!? That's really rude, where did that come from? You're acting crazy!
GRACE (impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)
KHA FROM TRIP
TRIP Huh? What, what -- what was that?
GRACE Uhh... acting so... vulgar...
GRACE I hate this wedding picture! I was miserable when it was taken, I hate it!
TRIP Oh, god...!
GRACE Okay, you know what, Kha,
GRACE I need to ask you something.
TRIP Grace --
GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE Kha, yes or no...
GRACE Do you think it's _wrong_ for one person in a marriage to listen _too much_ to the other?
TRIP What?
GRACE To trust your husband or wife too much, to rely on them too much? Is that wrong?
KHA yes
TRIP What...?!
TRIP Oh, alright... yeah...
TRIP Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit!
GRACE Oh, don't even...! -- (interrupted)
GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!
KHA GOD DAMMIT
GRACE I don't want to look at you!
KHA GOD DAMMIT
GRACE Oh, God!!
KHA YEAH
GRACE Oh, so now you're criticizing me?
TRIP What? Are you talking about me in there?
KHA GOD DAMMIT ALL TO HELL
GRACE I wasn't talking about you!
GRACE Kha, I -- I'm sorry... this is a disaster...
KHA come sit on my lap grace
TRIP Kha, (annoyed sigh) Grace is just so...
GRACE Oh, so we're talking about me, are we?
KHA ill put my dick in your ass
TRIP Okay, -- (interrupted)
TRIP Alright, Kha, that's it, you've got to leave.
KHA no
TRIP Kha, Jesus, we've had enough, you've got to go.
KHA i would love to leave but im stuck
KHA on your wife
KHA bye sexy
(KHA kisses trip.)
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA opens the front door.)
(KHA points to the elevator button.)
(KHA points to the elevator button.)
