The Life I Lead (novel)

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The Life I Lead
The Life I Lead book cover
First edition cover
Author Keith Banner
Country Flag of the United States United States
Language English
Genre(s) Novel
Publisher Alfred A. Knopf
Publication date 1999
Media type Print Hardback
Pages 262 pp (hardback edition)
ISBN ISBN 0-375-40376-0 (hardback edition)

The Life I Lead is the debut novel of Keith Banner. It tells the story of David Brewer, married to Tara and with an infant daughter Brittany. Dave is a pedophile and has become attracted to a number of young boys (one was 9 years old) over the years and molested them. The first time he touched a boy was on a fairground ride when he was age 17. He has never been caught. He tells the boys he loves them and that he’ll kill himself if they tell.

The novel is written from Dave’s point of view as well as his wife, his father and a childhood neighbor Troy Wetzel. Troy sexually abused Dave when Troy was aged 16 and Dave was age 6. Troy threatens Dave so that he doesn’t tell. The Wetzels moved away when his mother discovered him molesting Dave in the bath.

Dave cannot keep away from the swimming pool where children congregate. He focuses his attention on one particular boy, 7-year-old Nathan Marcum and he engineers an opportunity to talk to him, slipping him some money. He discovers that Nathan is there without adult supervision and one day, when the boy cuts himself, Dave takes him away to a rented Motel room where he bandages his cut then asks him to take his swim suit off. When the little boy asks why, Dave goes no further.

Dave is a churchgoing Baptist and persuades the pastor that the Marcums might join the church. They visit Nathan’s parents and Nathan later asks if he can go. Dave drives the church bus and after dropping off the other people, Dave drives Nathan in the bus out into the country. He starts to get undressed, but relents and takes Nathan home. On a second occasion, however, he gives in to temptation and starts to abuse the boy, almost strangling him. Nathan escapes and runs away where he is picked up by a passing couple. Dave can finally accept what he is after he is arrested and enters the world of the convicted child molester.

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