The Goodies and the Beanstalk

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The Goodies episode
"The Goodies and the Beanstalk"
Episode №	31
Airdate	24 December 1973 (Monday — 5.15 p.m.)
Director
Producer	Jim Franklin
Guest star(s)	Alfie Bass as the "Giant" Eddie Waring as himself ("Sports commentator") John Cleese as the "Genie" Corbet Woodall as himself (the "Newsreader") Stuart Hall as himself (the Presenter of "It's a Knockout") Robert Bridges as "..." Marcelle Samett as the "Girl in the bath" (?) Toni Harris as the "Policewoman" (?) Helli Louise as the "Girl with the puppies" Marty Swift as "the dancing policeman" Arthur Ellis as "..."
Series IV December 1, 1973 – January 12, 1974
Camelot Invasion of the Moon Creatures Hospital for Hire The Goodies and the Beanstalk The Stone Age Goodies in the Nick The Race
List of The Goodies episodes

The Goodies and the Beanstalk is an episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies.

1 Plot
2 Quotes
3 Spoofs and imitations
4 Songs and music
5 Footnote
6 References
7 External links

[edit] Plot

Homeless and penniless, the Goodies have no food and are sleeping on park benches. Graeme and Tim decide to sell their trandem,^[1] but Bill is devastated. Bill takes the trandem, which he has named "Buttercup", to the market the next morning, but all he receives is a tin of baked beans.

Tim empties the contents of the tin onto Bill's head, but Graeme decides to plant one of the beans — 'just in case'. To the Goodies' surprise, a giant-sized beanstalk shoots up behind them. The beanstalk crosses the English channel and continues to grow along the ground until it reaches the foot of Mount Everest. Bill borrows a flute from a snakecharmer — with the beanstalk then climbing up the side of the mountain and disappearing into some clouds at the top.

Tim notices an ad in a newspaper for competitors for It's a Knockout — part of the competition being to climb the beanstalk. With nothing to lose, the Goodies decide to represent Britain. Other countries being represented include Germany and Italy.

At the top of the beanstalk, a castle can be seen in the distance. Gaining entry into the castle, the Goodies discover a room with several gold eggs. When they leave the room with as many gold eggs as they can carry, they find themselves in a very large room with a very high ceiling, an enormous recipe book and a gigantic-size mug . Then, hearing the words "Fe, Fo, Fi, Fum", Bill comments that it must be the Giant. The Goodies try to hide, with Bill climbing into the giant's mug.

The 'giant', who turns out to be surprisingly small in size, promises the Goodies that they will be paid in gold eggs, if they remain in the castle and work for him. However, the 'giant' is very demanding and all the Goodies want to go home again. Imitating the Marx Brothers (with Graeme as "Groucho", Tim as "Harpo", and Bill as "Chico") and singing "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire", they pretend that riches do not interest them. Then, while the 'giant' is asleep, they collect their sacks of gold eggs and leave the castle — causing the birds to protest loudly at the theft. Wakening from his sleep, the 'giant' orders his birds to go after the Goodies, and chaos ensues as the birds take their revenge.

When they are at last able to return to the base of Mount Everest, the Goodies discover that the magic bean tin has one more surprise for them.

[edit] Quotes

Quote 1

Graeme (reading from the Giant's Book of Recipes):

"Shepherd's Pie — first peel two shepherds."

Quote 2

Giant: "It is true that, as giants go, I am somewhat petite."
Bill: "Petite!!! You're a ruddy midget!"
Giant: "There is more to being a giant than size, you know."

Quote 3

Giant: "Have you ever tried cleaning a 20 foot high toilet?

..... Have you ever tried using one?"

Quote 4

Giant: "I never really wanted to be a giant — I wanted to be a zoo keeper.

..... in fact, I used to be a zoo keeper at London Zoo for the Snowdon Aviary"

[edit] Spoofs and imitations

The Marx Brothers — Graeme as Groucho, Tim as Harpo, and Bill as Chico
Monty Python's Flying Circus — John Cleese, who appears as a genie, says "And now for something completely different", a popular Monty Python's Flying Circus catchphrase. When told to leave, he shouts "Kid's programme!" and disappears. (This was actually a friendly jibe at the Goodies, as the Goodies and the Pythons are good friends who had collaborated many times.)
Bonanza
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Jack and the Beanstalk
It's a Knockout
Jeux Sans Frontieres
High Society
The Dam Busters
The Birds
Alfred Hitchcock
Snowdon Aviary

Notably absent is Graeme Garden's celebrated and oft-used impersonation of Eddie Waring, who appears as himself in his role of presenter of It's A Knockout.

[edit] Songs and music

Music — for the song "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" (from the movie The Sound of Music")
Song — "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" (from the movie High Society)
Music — from the film The Dam Busters
Music — from the ballet Coppelia

[edit] Footnote

^ The Goodies Still Alive on Stage - the Official Souvenir Program - Australian Tour 2002

— (reference for the spelling of trandem)

[edit] References

"The Complete Goodies" — Robert Ross, B T Batsford, London, 2000
"The Goodies Rule OK" — Robert Ross, Carlton Books Ltd, Sydney, 2006
"From Fringe to Flying Circus — 'Celebrating a Unique Generation of Comedy 1960-1980'" — Roger Wilmut, Eyre Methuen Ltd, 1980
"The Goodies Episode Summaries" — Brett Allender
"The Goodies — Fact File" — Matthew K. Sharp
"TV Heaven" — Jim Sangster & Paul Condon, HarperCollinsPublishers, London, 2005