The Filthy Critic
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The Filthy Critic (or "Filthy," as he calls himself) is an online persona of Matt Weatherford, a film critic. Starting in 1998, Filthy's reviews have appeared on his web site on a fairly regular basis. His writing style is notable in that it makes allusions to Filthy's fictional personal life, uses vulgar language, and often makes scathing remarks toward Hollywood.
Filthy frequently comments upon perceived expository clichés and nonsensical devices. He sees many of the films reviewed as overly reliant on special effects to dull awareness of poor character development. He also feels many of the reviewed movies rely on deliberate pomposity to give the appearance of "art house" cinema.
His ratings range from one to five "fingers." As of December 5th, 2005, the average score of his more than 300 reviews is 2.28, and his rating distribution looks like this:
5 fingers: *** 9 (3 %) 4 fingers: ************* 40 (12 %) 3 fingers: ************************* 76 (23 %) 2 fingers: ****************************************** 125 (37 %) 1 finger: ***************************** 87 (26 %)
As of early 2008, only eleven films have scored a Five Finger rating: City of God, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Glitter (a sarcastic review), Godzilla 2000, The Incredibles, The King of Kong, Magnolia, Mulholland Drive, Rushmore, The Science of Sleep, and Slacker.
Filthy's fictionalized private life frequently appears in the articles, including personal and often self-deprecating accounts of his life in the Colorado town of Arvada serving as a backdrop for his views toward a film. Recurring themes include his constantly shifting state of employment, his loving relationship with his wife, and his interaction with the locals at the "Arvada Tavern," including a meth addict known as the Harelip and Filthy's employer, Dipshit Suzanne.
The Filthy Critic was (temporarily) killed in a bicycle collision late on August 7, 2003. "He died the way he lived--wobbling aimlessly in the slow lane." appeared on the web site. He was later resurrected to continue his career.
Another notable aspect of the writing style is that occasionally The Filthy Critic is "guest-written" by the author's fictional relatives, including his mentally retarded cousin Larry and his nerdy and virginal nephew Jimmy. Usually in the week preceding the release of a major science fiction or fantasy film, such as Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, or The Matrix, Jimmy would write a journal detailing his camp out in front of the movie theatre in order to purchase tickets.
Filthy's review's also contain references to fictional films containing the fictional porn star actress "Candy Bottoms," e.g., "The main problem is that the movie tries about as hard to make sense as Candy Bottoms' porn interpretation of James Joyce's "Ulysses". At least that had an awesome double-penetration daisy chain and a profound subtext about what a single life means."
Matt Weatherford has been referenced by Stephen King in an Entertainment Weekly column and has written for and been featured in Rolling Stone magazine.
[edit] Quotes
Review (excerpt) of The Italian Job: "It's a well-made bad movie. It's efficient and has confidence in its blandness. It's loud and brash enough to be confused for cool. But those are the characteristics that frat guys use to win the hearts of insecure sorority girls, not what I pay eight bucks for. Two Fingers for The Italian Job."
Review (excerpt) of Office Space: "I'm just a lowly gas jockey. I flunked my civil service test, they say because I used too many fucking cuss words, so they won't even let me deliver your mail to you. I am not worthy of one of them fancy jobs in an air-conditioned office, sitting on my ass in a cubicle playing solitaire on a computer. Office Space is about miserable office workers, a world I do not understand. However, I get the message that it's about ramming the rod of justice up the MAN's ass, and that's something we can all relate to, from kindergartner to retired old fart."
Review (excerpt) of Pay It Forward: "There's only one thing worse than having my prostate squeezed by barbecue tongs, and that is having those pricks in Los Angeles presume to tell me how to live my life. Pay It Forward is a self-satisfied Hollywood corn cob up our asses, a movie that doesn't even try to entertain because it's too fucking busy congratulating itself. There's nothing more offensive and repulsive than Hollywood deciding a couple of times a year that they will be our moral compass and explain to us what goodness is. My God, there's more goodness in the boils on my ass than in their entire industry."
Review (excerpt) of Godzilla 2000: "It's about expectations. Unlike Hollywood turds, this movie delivers exactly what it promises: a guy in a rubber suit smashing into buildings and crushing model tanks; a villain monster that looks ridiculous and invincible, but that Godzilla crushes at the end; a spunky young girl to be part of the team who helps Godzilla; a hokey moral about nuclear war; and some very awkward English dubbing. While Hollywood keeps shoveling their horseshit down our mouths and promising that it's funny, or scary and smart or whatever, Toho Pictures says Godzilla 2000 is about a monster smashing up Tokyo, and they're right."
review (complete text) of The Man: "Fu-uck."
