Talk:The Rural Juror

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Good article The Rural Juror has been listed as one of the Arts good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
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Contents

[edit] Merge

I propose that, instead of merging the pages on the fictional The Rural Juror film and "The Rural Juror" episode, we should create a page that lists all the fictional films to be depicted in 30 Rock. 67.171.163.212 08:36, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

Merge it. If it ever becomes super famous, we can go back to seperate pages. - Peregrine Fisher 05:16, 17 January 2007 (UTC)
I agree with the original option...create a page of ficitional films depicted in 30 Rock. Several episodes have already referenced the Rural Juror. And it will make a lot more sense when those epiosdes link to the page about the fictional films, then if the episodes linked to the The Rural Juror epidose itself. Bjewiki 14:24, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Recreated

I have now recreated the page. Feel free to edit! Corn.u.co.pia Discussion 11:00, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Incomprehensible and unencyclopedic

She said that although her problem with the show used to be that she didn't give a crap about any of the characters or their relationships, she soon realised that she didn't care

This makes no sense and ``didn`t give a crap`` is very unencyclopedic language. Ribbet32 (talk) 05:37, 1 May 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, sorry about that, I must not have revised that part. Corn.u.co.pia Discussion 06:08, 1 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Reviews

Anyone know of some review sites? We really need a couple more. Corn.u.co.pia Discussion 07:17, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] GA review

Awesome stuff, but a number of mostly-prose issues to be addressed:

  • Either un-abbreviate (for want of a better word!) or link indie film for clarification
  • the writers can't even grasp -> maybe mention that the writers are for TGS; also avoid contractions as in "can't"
  • The film, based on a "Kevin Grisham novel" (John Grisham's brother) revolves -> need another comma after brackets
  • Liz sees the film in private, and her reaction is not that good -> comma unnecessary in short sentence; and can we think of more encyclopedic wording than "not that good"?
  • Maybe even combine above sentence with the subsequent one just to make it read better
  • When Jenna finds out that Liz never really liked the film, the two start fighting and accusing each other of not being truthful, resulting in the two spiraling into an argument -> "the two" is awkward in second instance; "never really liked the film" should be reworded to be more formal; "resulting in the two spiraling into an argument" -- just doesn't work because it sounds to me as if they were already arguing...?
  • Josh Girard (Lonny Ross) managed to break into Liz's office -> present tense
  • Combine above sentence with the subsequent one, like "... to steal the film, which he watches ..."
  • However, much to Liz's shock -> "however" should never begin a sentence
  • The intervention works and the two ladies make up -> just sloppy; maybe rewrite this and previous sentence to be "As the argument between Liz and Jenna escalates, Jack intervenes and helps them to make up"... actually, maybe find a better phrase for "make up" too
  • Prior to the Liz and Jenna situation, Jack was on the phone with Maureen Dowd when Tracy shows up asking him for $100,000 -> saying that this is happening before the previous story just confuses things to put it in the past; it doesn't make any difference to know this so omit this detail and write in present tense
  • After Tracy agrees to it, he comes up with one... -> use a colon, not ellipsis
  • However, a series of product defects -> sentence shouldn't begin with "however"
  • Can we get a better word than "scrapped"?
  • However, Jack finds a way to make it work -> again, the "however" issue
  • No need to list guest star roles in infobox, i.e. just list the actors' names
  • Regarding the episodes title -> "episode's"
  • IGN and TV Squad shouldn't be italicised; they're website titles
  • better understanding of Liz, Jenna and their long-lasting friendship; and that the audience was given a peek into their human side -> not really sure why there's a semicolon over a comma; and can we use a different word for "peek"?
  • Liz and Jenna had a longtime friendship; and that there was no depth to it -> again, not understanding the semicolon
  • He felt small hints of what their friendship was like were played for laughs -> really wordy and doesn't really read well -- reword, probably
  • their "characters had become people." -> fullstop should be outside quote
  • Use Matt Webb Mitovich's full name in prose and ref
  • Matt Mitovich of TV Guide said he was finally starting to "get" Jenna now, and how she fits into the show -> "said that"; also reads better if you just say "he was finally starting to understand Jenna and how she fits into the show", leaving out the quote
  • he realised that in reality -> Aussie English, eh? ;) It's an American show so spell as "realized"
  • Julia Ward of AOL's TV Squad however disagreed -> "Julia Ward ... disagreed, however" reads better IMO
  • She felt that the show had too many storylines, and that this episode -> no comma needed
  • the show was about the relationship between Liz and Jenna; rather than the storylines -> again, think it should be a comma
  • She said having several ongoing storylines is possible -> "she said that"
  • The episode was ranked 63rd in Nielsen's prime-time -> spell out "63rd" per MoS
  • Why don't you combine the ratings explanation into the sentence it refers to, like "It achieved blahblah rating ..., meaning that ..."
  • Also, if "U.S." is at the end of a sentence, you need two fullstops -- one for the US and one for the sentence end, even though it looks weird!
  • a "successful effort at developing its characters." -> fullstop outside quote
  • if Alec Baldwin didn't win the Golden Globe for his performance -> avoid contraction "didn't"
  • She enjoyed Tina Fey's performance, and liked Tracy's meat machine -> no comma necessary
  • saying Whoopi's guest appearance -> "Goldberg", not Whoopi
  • Jane Krakowski was still "an odd fit for the show." -> fullstop outside quote
  • Leo Spaceman's "reds, yellows, purples." -> as above
  • that it was a lot of fun -> can we make this a little more formal, like even just "very enjoyable" or something?
  • Link NWI Times to The Times of Northwest Indiana

I think that's it. There's a lot of things to go through and just give me a holler if you disagree with anything. Putting on hold for 7 days -- have fun! —97198 talk 14:17, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

  • Why is [1] a reliable source for alternate titles? Looks to me like just a recap-review.
  • Tina Fey explained that "It came out of a discussion in the writers' room" -> uncapitalise "it" as its the middle of a statement
  • when she said "You know what two words -> "when she asked"; also a comma after "asked"

Now that's really it - I promise :) —97198 talk 09:25, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

I think I have fixed everything. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 07:49, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
I put the "Character development" section under continuity, should I undo it or does it work better? Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 07:52, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
All looking pretty good now, methinks. And yeah, I think it's fair enough to put character development under continuity - I like this a lot better. Only a few things left for me to nag about:
  • Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) and the writers of TGS cannot even grasp -> full name of TGS show; also in italics
  • but hesitates to tell Jenna the truth -> doesn't really make sense as the second half of the sentence; how about "but she hesitates"?
  • the two start fighting and accusing each other of not being truthful, resulting in an argument -> this can't result in an argument because it already is one in the first place
  • Jack tells him that he has a better idea -> better idea than what, giving Tracy $100,000?
  • everyone was so pleased "[they] wanted to hurry up -> "so pleased that"
  • She criticized several guest appearances, saying Goldberg's guest appearance -> "saying that"
  • Just wondering, is there any way to get even very vague dates of filming, like done in ref #4 of MILF Island, by extracting the dates from promo photos? The production section's looking a little bare.
That's it, I promise. Thanks for addressing the issues so quickly :) —97198 talk 14:24, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
I changed the stuff mentioned, but please reread the plot section again. As for the production section, I do not have the resources to find anymore information. Do you have any other suggestions? Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 15:35, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for taking care of business; everything looks fine now. I'm not overly concerned about the production section as it does cover the main info about the conception, and it's not as if it was filmed in some exotic location or out of sequential order, so that's not really worth mentioning. I would have thought an interview with or any other article about the guest stars might be available - like with Whoopi Goldberg - but no problemo if the sources aren't there. Anywho, nice work and I'm happy to pass :) —97198 talk 02:39, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
Excellent. Thanks for the review! Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 05:17, 31 May 2008 (UTC)