Talk:The Fat Guy Strangler

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the The Fat Guy Strangler article.
Article policies
Archives: 1
Good article The Fat Guy Strangler has been listed as one of the Arts good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
Archive
Archives
Archive 01


[edit] Notice to GA reviewer

Thanks for taking the time to review this article. Let it be known that understand the reception and cultural references sections are short, but I spent 30 minutes looking for reception and through season 5 DVD reviews to see if there was a mention, and I could only find one piece. As for the cultural references, there were very few listed on the DVD (but there were also very few unreferenced, bulleted ones before this.) I have made the articles as best as I can, and tried to make up for the small cultural references section by having a long production section, so, overall – I hope these factors will not hold the article back from becoming a GA. Thank you. Qst (talk) 16:17, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

Further note: The Reception section has now been expanded, so that shoudl be okay now. Qst (talk) 16:39, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] GA Review

GA Review

Lead

  • I don't consider myself a grammar wizard, but I believe that semicolons normally are meant to replace a conjunction, so in places where you have "; so", either "so" or the semicolon needs to be removed.
  • Channel and country the show first appeared on are needed.
    • N Not done. This is not common among The Simpsons and Family Guy or on most cartoon articles, it tends to be set out how it is now. Qst (talk) 12:08, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • The third sentence is rather long, splitting it would be a good idea.
  • Guest stars should be included in the lead.

Plot

  • Throughout the entire plot, there are some subject/verb agreement mistakes that need to be remedied.
  • Between the second and third sentences, it seems that there is just a jump in the plot. Something to correlate between these is needed.
  • Another semicolon-conjunction that needs to be corrected.
  • Is there a link to Lois' father?
    • Yeah, I'll do this, but I forgot his name. :) Qst (talk) 11:31, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of the second paragraph has misplaced commas, and also contains no subject. Consider replacing it with "Believing Patrick to be sane, Lois authorizes....and so on."
  • Family shouldn't be capitalized.
  • The second sentence is extremely long, and needs to be split into two separate sentences.
  • The tense of the last part of the sentence doesn't correspond to the rest of the sentence, and it needs to be corrected to reflect the rest of the sentence.
  • "Patrick announces he...." It makes it sound like he announces that she is imaginary, this needs to be changed so that it reflects that he doesn't realize that she is invisible.
  • At the end of the 2nd paragraph, a sentence on why he is traumatized should be added.
  • Does James Woods do any voicing in this episode? If so, he needs to be added as a guest star. Either way, he also needs to be wikilinked.
    • N Not done - I understand what you mean on this, but James Woods is what they call the woodland area in Quahog, its not actually referrring to the person its self. Qst (talk) 11:34, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • Another subject verb agreement issue in "Brian shows Lois...." sentence.
  • ".....and a half-dead fat person in the corner." This needs some clarification. Is the person dismembered, or half way to being dead?

Production 8

  • Replace the / with "or".
  • Another semicolon and conjunction issue.
  • MacFarlane has already been introduced once. Switch to last name only and de-link him, but keep his title.
  • Its should be changed to either it's or it is
  • Chris Sheridan has already been introduced, so use last name only and de-link.
  • When you add and link Fox in the intro, de-link it here.
    • N Not done. It is common among The Simpsons and Family Guy not to say ..."the tenth episode of [[Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox]] animated television series [[Family Guy]], so Fox is not introduced in the lead for any articles. Qst (talk) 11:51, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • De-link Fox in "...a promotional sequence for Fox."
    • N Not done - per above. Qst (talk) 11:52, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • The sentence with Bush is a little confusing, needs to be reworded.
  • The end of the first sentence needs to be reworded, as your "urinating" looks like it's being applied to Brian.
  • "If this scene had went ahead....", Grammar needs to be reworded here.
  • Confusion here, what rock is being talked about?
  • General Lee should be wikilinked.
  • Last sentence is very confusing, needs to be reworded.

Cultural References

  • Remove Lois' brother, as he has already been introduced as this.
  • Either here or above, the correlation that Jackie Gleason was with Patrick's mother needs to be made to show why the traumatization occurs.
  • "To Love or Die in Dixie" has already been linked, needs to be de-linked.
  • The Price is Right has already been linked, needs to be de-linked.

Reception

  • Even if it's in a quote, the title of a television show needs to be italicized.
  • Family Guy needs to be italicized in the next sentence.
  • PTV needs quotations.
All issues addressed. For those that have a {{not done}} tag on, I have explained why this is. 12:17, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Please send me a message on my talk page when you have completed my requests, and I will review it again and list any final requests before it can be passed. Have a good day. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 23:23, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

Second Review

  • MacFarlane and Sheridan are still both wikilinked twice, and need to be de-linked.
  • Downey and Barker need to be linked in lead, not production.
  • Fox is still linked twice.
  • The half-dead part is still confusing.
  • "Realizes" is incorrectly spelled as "realises".
  • Around "Carter", there should be either two commas or none.
  • No dash between obese and man.
  • In the plot section, Stewie needs a link.
  • "...a rock of Peter's head" is still confusing.

Like the improvements, looks good other than these things. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:08, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

All done. Qst (talk) 22:28, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Okay. I made a few minor changes, but otherwise it looks good.

  • Well Written
  • Stays on topic
  • Follows manual of style
  • Contains image with fair use rationale
  • Well referenced
  • Contains enough production and reception information.
  • Is easily discernible to the average person, or someone who isn't a fan of the show.

Therefore, I have passed the article for GA. Congratulations on a very well done article.Mastrchf91 (t/c) 03:47, 21 February 2008 (UTC)