User:Terminall

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Matt Greenemeier is an incredibly awesome guy. Admired by men, lusted for by women, he is a true leader of our generation. His contributions to society include his unique brand of witty humor, trademarked with a heavy emphasis on puns, as well as his many comedic sayings. Some say his mere presence can uplift a room with his golden ability to sense and say all that is funny.

[edit] Hobbies and Time-Killers

His hobbies include a perhaps psychotic obsession with rocks and fossils, as well as death grip on the videogame industry. His room is a veritable geologist's heaven (and his rock collection is sooo better than Paysinger's), and possesses enough videogame memorabilia to drown the Chinese in.

When it comes to the videogames in Matt's life, he can be quite particular. If any game involves the work of the Almighty Hideo Kojima, he's probably on it like a racoon on something shiny. The Metal Gear series, while being a life-affirming and enjoyable experience to play through, also boasts some deep, deep shit Greenemeier could bust out at random times. Be warned. Other favorites include the greatest online title ever, SOCOM 3, as well as the original Halo, anything SNES, Resident Evil, or Devil May Cry.

While his precious, insightful Xanga entries are long dead to the world, he recently constructed a Myspace account out of boredom, you know, just for the hell of it. If you're lucky, he may bless you with a rant on AIM or, if you are the equivalent of a hen tooth, he may actually speak to you in person.

Paintball is also a huge part of his life. While he hasn't played in a quite a span of time, he could totally bunker your ass at a moment's notice. His proudest moments in this field include his merciful, merciful salvation of Adam (when Matt had a perfect opportunity to light him up beyond freaking belief), as well as some godly ambushes set up in woodsball.

Within this section, there is no possible way the heralded website and savior of us all, GameFAQs, could not be mentioned. THE comprehensive resource for all things involving a controller, "gamefags," as it is commonly referred to, is more than just a site; it's a way of life. Host to the finest message board system on the net, as well as how in God's name you beat that last guy in Mortal Kombat, this website is part of the great Matt's daily routine. On vacations, deep feelings of withdrawal can plague the Greenemeier child; his dear, dear gamefaqs is not at hand.

[edit] Views on Everything

This a very simple section. Basically, Greenemeier is known for his uncanny ability to be on the minority on every issue physically possible. You against abortion? Matt's not. You don't like anyone that's (insert minority/majority/ethnic group/religion/political affiliation)? Matt doesn't care. Think gay marriage is a crime against God? Greenemeier argues that on two fronts; he's an atheist, and, while he doesn't like the idea of homosexuals, he's fine with whatever makes them happy.

[edit] Random Tidbits

- Despite the use of his first name throughout the article, Greenemeier only possesses a surname. Ask any of his teachers, ever. They'll tell you.

- Matt boasts a "four-pack." A scar on his sexy, ripped stomach from surgery stops the last two from ever showing.

- Greenemeier can stick his tongue up his nose, as well as fold his tongue in half and make it stick to itself.

- He is extraordinarily uncoordinated. How clumsy is he you say? Matt has literally run full-speed into a metal wall (dented it, actually), as well as several chain link fences (see soccer season, '05).

- Zack is wrong.

- He quotes movies, songs, and tv shows that the rest of the world has forgotten, far, far too often.

- Speaking of which, he also knows the philosophy of Spongebob. Kind of sad for him, really.

- He can be quite the character. He loves to say jokes that are very "punny." Get it? "Pun" + "funny"? Ah, screw you. It was hilarious.