Syd the Kid

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Syd the Kid

Front cover of Syd the Kid (2008)
Author Sydney Humphreys
Country United States
Language English
Genre(s) Autobiography
Publisher Independent Publisher
Publication date 2008
Media type Print (Paperback)
Pages 740 pp
ISBN ISBN 978-1-60643-513-7

Syd the Kid is an autobiography by Sydney Humphreys.

Contents

[edit] Plot

After an brief introductory story/chapter entitled “The Monkey’s Moon” which establishes the issues and mood of the overall story, Syd the Kid begins chronologically with the story/chapter “Premonition”, in which the seven year-old Sydney, along with his one year-younger brother Jason, witnesses his mother commit an act of domestic violence against his father, her faithful husband. It is revealed to the reader that Sydney and Jason's mother is a twisted being who is interested only in seeking her own selfish pleasures, regardless of the consequences for anyone else, even her own family. She is found guilty of infidelity by Sydney's father, who confronts her verbally, only to have her lash back at him physically, with a knife, as well as verbally. When the police arrive, Sydney's mother does what she does best- lying and manipulating the powers-that-be. She convinces the police that Sydney's father was the guilty one, and thus they arrest him, in spite of young Sydney’s urgent attempt to tell them the truth and clear his father’s name. Father is arrested and dragged away from his kids, leaving them alone with their abusive mother…but not before he leaves them with some final words: “Stay strong, Jason and Syd. I love you guys more than I love myself; don’t you ever forget that!” (p.21)

Thus begins the incredible true tale of Syd the Kid. From this time forward, Sydney and Jason struggle every day to survive their mother’s vile “games”: the violent, twisted, abusive treatment she bestows upon the two young brothers. Sydney describes the horrors of living with his mother extended even beyond the cuts and bruises. He and his brother were separated from their baby sister Danielle (whom Mother favored); they were fed a mere half a can of cold SpaghettiOs for most meals, and they were intimidated mentally, manipulated emotionally, and given so few material goods such as clean clothes, despite their mother more than having the means to provide them, that they were subjected to additional abuse at school by the kids who would do everything from tease them to gang up on them and beat them up.

In the story “The File Cabinet”, Humphreys describes how he and his brother went on a series of late-night “adventures” after their mother would leave to attend her late-night parties. Jason was convinced of the existence of “The Hidden Truth”, a secret which would reveal what was really happening with their family. After many failed attempts, finally one night they discovered in a file in the huge, ominous living room file cabinet the real Hidden Truth: their parents were getting divorced, and their mother was attempting to obtain full custody of them. It came as a painful blow, as it now appeared that they would be separated from their father forever.

Little did Sydney and Jason know, though, (although they were soon to find out) that their father had actually secretly been with them the entire time! At night, after they fell asleep and after their mother had gone out partying, Father used a spare key to sneak into their home and check on, watch over, and spend time with his beloved children, unbeknownst to them. After the File Cabinet adventure though, Father finally revealed himself to Syd and Jason, and in a moving encounter, got caught up with them. Speaking quickly because no one knew when Mother would be coming back home, Father told Syd and Jason that he had always been with them, and would continue to be with them as much as he could, which for now could only be in secret. As their time together quickly passed, however, it sadly became clear to Syd and Jason that their father possessed no tricks to change their current situation. But they were nonetheless blessed on that fateful night by being in his presence again, as after Syd had a violent emotional outburst in which he revealed to Jason and his father his burning hatred for Mother for destroying their family and causing them all so much pain, he and his brother received from their father his "promise": Father urgently told his sons that they must remain loving at all costs, no matter what, lest they become twisted into something that they're not: "cursed ones". Although their father made it clear that this promise was of utmost importance, it was also of utmost difficulty for Sydney and Jason to keep to over the years due to their continual suffering. For the rest of their childhood and adolescent lives, they would struggle to believe in and adhere to Father's Promise, to never seek revenge, nor allow the power of hatred to take over their hearts.

Thus began a new era of Sydney’s life- an era marked by a constant struggle with hope, faith, and love: the hope of one day being reunited with his father, the faith that if he remained true to his father’s promise then that day would eventually come, and a raging internal battle to keep the love of his father in his heart and not be overtaken by the hatred, rage, violence, and revenge feelings in him due to his mother’s constant extreme abuse of both himself and his brother.

Another series of events then ensued for Syd and Jason, most notably a face-to-face encounter with the one man seemingly responsible for all of their troubles: Prince, the drug-dealing, gang-banging, dangerously violent boyfriend of their mother, with whom she had been cheating on their father with for many years. Mother brought Prince to their home to “teach a lesson” to Sydney and Jason for being “troublemakers”, which he happily did by holding Jason at gunpoint and demanding that the nine year-old Sydney beg him for his younger brother’s life.

The shocking story "Don't Let Them Win!!!", along with an earlier story “Case Closed”, revealed an ongoing transformation in Jason’s character development. Due to his difficulties understanding, following, and trusting his father's promise, Jason was gradually turning into just what his father had warned him and his brother against. In the aftermath of the encounter with Prince, which actually began with Jason bravely (albeit perhaps recklessly) telling Prince the truth about his foul character directly to his face, Jason actually told Sydney that he would have preferred to die than to have had Syd beg Prince for his life. “DON’T LET THEM WIN!!!” was the screaming protest of Jason to Sydney while Prince slammed and pinned him several feet in the air against the wall, and drew his gun to his face. But Sydney didn’t care about such principles as Jason did, and desperately begged for his brother’s life, just as Prince demanded. Fortunately, Jason's life was spared, but only after Prince had "won".

As soon as Jason was set free and Prince went into another room with their mother to handle the business of the drugs he had been storing in their home in large duffel bags, Sydney and Jason ran away from the apartment, for fear of their lives. They didn’t get far, though, as upon stepping outside they immediately noticed that something was strangely wrong in their neighborhood. After quickly hiding inside the dark and dirty crawlspace under a nearby neighbor’s home, Sydney and Jason watched in shock as a multitude of police cars suddenly blocked off both ends of the block and countless officers emerged from concealed locations all over the neighborhood- only to raid their own home, with their mother and Prince inside!

After the drug raid had died down somewhat and a huge crowd of neighbors had since gathered at the unforgettable scene, Jason abruptly left the crawlspace and ran towards the crowd and his and Sydneys’ home, despite his brother's warnings not to. Syd followed Jason but soon realized that his motivation was to appease his lust for revenge- Jason wanted to see their mother go down, and go down hard, being captured by the swarming police, cuffed and dragged outside, thrown into a squad car, and overall humiliated in front of their entire neighborhood. Sydney tried to convince Jason to forget about such feelings and instead run away with him to safety before anyone in the crowd recognized them or even worse, their mother saw them, but to no avail. Jason was going to stay, no matter what; he was determined to see Mother finally lose. So as soon as he realized that there was no changing Jason's mind, Syd decided that he for one would have no part of the entire debacle. He abruptly turned around and attempted to run away again through the massive crowd amid all the commotion...but what happened next is anyone’s guess, as that was the last thing that Sydney remembered- he blacked out.

To his atonishment, Sydney awoke in his father's house with his brother and sister. Along with the sheer happiness of being with his father again, Syd also learned all the details of what had just happened, and most importantly to him, the fact that his mother had been arrested, along with Prince. However, Sydney and Jason's joy didn't last long, as their father then said something to them that was so unbelievable, so shocking, so seemingly ridiculous and stupid, that this time even Sydney joined his brother in rejecting their father’s baffling notion of love: Father told them that he had decided to rescue Mother. He would sell everything he could, work as hard as he could, and even max out his credit cards in order to afford the lawyers needed to get Mother off from her sure jail sentence.

Sydney and Jason were absolutely dumbfounded by this decision; they thought it was sheer madness to give a second chance to the very person responsible for their family's brokenness, as well as the deep pain in all their hearts. But their father was firm in his decision, and tried his best to explain it to his beloved children:

“I know that you guys have been wronged; I know that deep down your mother did vile things to you guys that I can’t even begin to imagine. But that still doesn’t change the fact that your mother is your mother. We must set an example, Sydney and Jason. We must show her that the power of love can prevail over the power of hate any day. We must show her that we care about her, by trying to rescue her from the darkness...We can’t escape our past...We will always be either haunted or blessed by our memories. We must always remember who we are, in spite of all the evil around us, and never lose sight of that, no matter what. Simply running away from our problems isn’t going to solve anything, and it isn’t going to help anybody either, not even ourselves. One day you’ll understand; one day you’ll meet someone so special, someone truly magical, someone who will make you feel alive and warm inside. You’ll realize then that you will have to make sacrifices; you will have to become understanding, and you will have to gain the ability to love in order to become a better man and protect that person you love.” (p. 106-107)

Though Sydney could not even begin to understand the ways of his father, and was deeply angered by the mere thought of letting someone like his mother off the hook, nevertheless Father's words were words that he would not forget; they were words that lasted in his mind and in his heart, with their mystery to be unraveled at a later time in his life.

In the subsequent story, “War”, it is described how Syd's father pulled all the strings he could to free Mother from her sure jail sentence. Father hired three lawyers, who after draining him of virtually every penny he owned, were in the end able to win the case on a technicality. Although Syd's mother was now off the hook from a once-certain doom, she still showed no gratitude, and only came back to live with the family because she had no other place to go, and because Father was trying his hardest to win her heart with love and kindness. It wasn’t long until Mother resumed her abusive ways, and in story #12, “Showdown,” it was the agonizing scene of “Premonition” all over again: the police were called to the Humphreys’ household because of Mother's transgressions, but she again masterfully manipulated and tricked them into taking her children's father away, this time leaving her in full custody possession of the children, and forcing their father to find another place to live. Sydney risked telling the police the truth against his mother once again, but with mixed results at best- his father was spared from jail due to Syd's testimony, but he was still forced to leave their household, thereby seemingly empowering Mother for good.

So it was back to a living hell again for Sydney and Jason. Their father was forced to work incessantly just to survive on his own, and he couldn't be with his kids anymore, as their mother began a period of moving them around the Chicago area to avoid him ever finding them. Syd and Jason (along with Danielle) were transferred from school to school moved from apartment to apartment, staying with strange, abusive men, although none were as bad as their own mother, who continued her typical torturous treatment of them.

Many horrible months passed in this way, until finally a glimmer of hope emerged, thanks to Jason's daring move to slyly search Mother's purse. Inside it he found none other than a letter from his and Syd's father! Apparently Father had been sending many letters to their mother, letters in which he begged and pleaded for her to allow him to be with his children again.

While learning of the letter and this news from his brother was enough to make the ten year-old Sydney's heart beat with excitement, it was Jason's next words that would cause Syd to shake with fear. In secret Jason showed Syd the actual physical letter from their father, which he had stolen from their mother's purse! And more importantly, Jason possessed the envelope that the letter came in- with the return address on it- the address of their father's current location! The story "Envy the Runaway" continues with Jason urging Sydney to run away to their father's location, and try to bring him back to help them escape from or somehow fix their situation.

After much hesitation on the part of Sydney but even more encouragement and urging on the part of Jason, Syd snuck out and ran away, leaving for the town of Evanston to find his father. He ran and ran and ran, fearing all along that his mother would try to intercept him once she discovered what had happened. But after hours of running, Sydney safely reached his destination: his father's home, where he found his father, who was perhaps even happier than Sydney was when they first saw each other. After their heartfelt reunion, however, and Syd had told his father everything, Father sadly told Syd that because his mother had full custody of him and his siblings, and because he had almost no money to challenge her legally, there wasn't much that could be done. In the end, all that ended up happening from Syd's adventure was that everyone moved into Father's apartment- including Mother- but not for long, as Mother's ways never changed. She only used Father once again, and then as soon as she had obtained the means to, she continued her vendetta against him by moving their kids out with her and hiding them from him once again, while she sought to appease her lust for power elsewhere.

More than ever before, all hope now seemed to be lost. Two entire years passed where Sydney and Jason (as well as baby sister Danielle, who always tagged along but still barely knew what was going on as she was so young and not subjugated to the same abuse as her brothers) were shuttled around from home to home and school to school, suffering daily by their extremely abusive mother, while still grasping to hold on to their father's promise without him present in their lives. The two brothers struggled mightily to hold onto the hope, faith and love from their past, amidst all of their pain, suffering, and despair, which also extended to outside of their home, as they battled ferociously with neighborhood kids on the rugged streets of Howard, and they also received verbal and physical harassment by their peers at school, who viewed them as outcasts for appearing dirty, poor, beat-up, and overall just being different.

The story “The Toad Who Would Become Prince” focuses on Sydney’s transition to Nichols Middle School at age twelve. Coming off of a nightmarish experience in which his mother had restricted him and Jason to the basement for the entire summer, a now-overweight and under-confident Sydney had severe doubts about the likelihood of surviving, much less succeeding, in middle school. However, on his first day at Nichols, Syd came across his older cousin Aaron, who happened to be one of the coolest and most popular of all the 8th graders at the school. Aaron took Sydney under his wing, reminded him of his father’s ways, and taught, mentored, and trained him how to make it at Nichols. He even gave Syd some of his cool clothes, and something else that Syd would forever treasure: a special dog tag, with “P.O.A.” inscribed on it. Aaron was the leader of the popular and influential Pretty Boys of America clique at Nichols, and with his gift of the inscribed dog tag, officially made Syd a member, which cemented his place in the school. All in all, thanks to Aaron’s help, Syd started to come into his own, developing his charismatic, jovial personality that draws people to him like magnets to this day. He even gained his first ever best friend: a smart, funny, smooth kid in his grade named Mike. By the time he reached the 8th grade and Aaron had graduated, Sydney had inherited his cousin’s leadership role in the P.O.A. clique, and used his status to reach out to and help others who were in a vulnerable, weak position in the school- just like Aaron had once done for him.

At least on one front, life was getting better for Syd; however he was living a double life, which was preserved by lies and secrecy. At home, Sydney was by no means “Charismatic Syd” anymore- he was still the same abused kid who lived in constant terror of his mother’s abusive ways, and who struggled being faithful to his father’s promise apart from his father’s presence.

Sydney also tried to encourage Jason to persevere at his school, to hold fast to their father’s promise regardless of how he was treated by the other kids. At first Jason eagerly agreed, but as the maltreatment he was receiving intensified over time (getting so bad that once he received a vicious gash on his knee that required him to go to the hospital), Jason’s vow began to fade. In the story “Decisions, Decisions”, Sydney recalls how one day after school his mother locked Jason outside of their home, and frantically told him that his brother had been beating up kids at his school. She said that she had been in contact with school officials, and together they had decided that Jason was “retarded”, and that he should see psychiatrists for a mental evaluation. Sydney was absolutely enraged at hearing his mother talk about Jason this way. The very thought of him being subjugated to such degrading treatment made Syd's blood boil and his heart break all at once. Syd ran back outside to his brother and screamed to him that he was NOT crazy, and he had to believe that…but Jason was already beginning to give in to self-pity; he was already starting to believe that what their mother, the school officials, and all the kids at school thought of him was really true. He told Sydney that perhaps he really was crazy—words that felt like a dagger in Syd’s heart.

The next story, “The Hard Goodbye”, whose events take place shortly after Syd's graduation from Nichols, is one of the most powerful, moving, and shocking stories you’ll ever read. During one particularly bad episode of Mother beating Jason, Syd found himself pacing in his sister’s room, with his emotions swirling like a tornado. As a fifteen year old who for the last eight years had suffered himself and witnessed his beloved brother suffer at the hands of their demonic mother, Sydney couldn’t take it anymore.

So Syd snapped. For the first time in his life, he stood up to his mother physically, engaging in a brutal fight with her in their small apartment. She coldly whipped him with a belt and then upon seeing that he was going to fight back, she ran into the kitchen to get a knife. But Sydney still didn’t back down. He was so full of rage and hatred that he possessed a firm conviction that even if he had to die, he was going to stop his mother’s reign of terror, once and for all. He grabbed an umbrella and charged at his mother, while she charged at him with a butcher knife. But JUST when it was going to be too late, Syd was hit like a ton of bricks...by a thought: “Oh God!” I thought at the last moment, as Mother was only a few feet away from my face with her knife. “What if I kill her? What if she kills me?! I can’t do this! It isn’t the right way!” (p.246)

Syd paused as this revelation struck him, but as his mother had no such experience, she kept coming for Syd with her knife. At the last second, Jason sprung out of nowhere, dove through the air, and tackled their mother onto the ground. While he wrestled with her on the ground, all Syd could do was stare in awe at the sight, but Jason quickly screamed for him to run away and get help. And that's what Syd did. He ran outside and away from their apartment once again, and yet again, the police were called to the Humphreys household. Just like before, Sydney earnestly tried to convince them of the truth, so they wouldn't fall to his mother's deception.

This episode with the police would prove to be drastically different from all the previous episodes, as one of the policemen, Officer Ricardo, had a passionate anger against injustice that rivaled Jason's. The police believed Syd's story, but unlike the other officers, Officer Ricardo seemed to take Mother's wicked ways personally, yelling in her face, and even calling her a "monster". However, when Jason and Danielle were called outside, Officer Ricardo as well as the rest of the officers were taken aback, frustrated, and disappointed. They only now realized that all the kids were minors. Without any incriminating evidence, which they didn't have, it would be Mother's word against the kids', and seeing as how the kids were all minors and Mother held full custody as their legal guardian (not even to mention her unmatched acting and manipulating abilities), ultimately Mother still had the upper hand.

Just when all hope seemed to be lost, however, an idea suddenly struck Officer Ricardo, an idea that would forever change Sydney's fate. He directly challenged Mother's assertion that she was a loving and caring mother, telling her that if this were true, then she would let her kids be with their father, just like they wanted. Mother was temporarily beaten, and she knew it. She hesitated and hesitated, until finally she said four words which Sydney and Jason would never forget: "I'll let Sydney go." Officer Ricardo immediately asked "only Sydney?", and when Mother firmly asserted "yes, only Sydney", Officer Ricardo quickly accepted, for he already knew that her giving any concessions at all was more than was legally required.

So suddenly, for the first time in his life, Syd was freely able to live with his father, just as he always dreamed. But it came with a steep price: also for the first time ever, he would be separated from Jason and Danielle. Thus it was with mixed feelings he accepted his new life, as once again more confusion about hope, faith, and love in this life and this world gnawed at him mercilessly.

"Down the Rabbit Hole Once Again" is the first story of the rest of Sydney's life. In it, Syd shockingly discovers that his father had been homeless and living in a car - and now so was he. For the rest of that summer, Syd and his father lived in Father's car, which they parked at night in a dangerous area of Chicago known as the Jungle in order to avoid being caught by the police. During the day, they plotted and planned ways to improve their situation as well as rescue Jason and Danielle. It was during this summer, the summer before Syd's freshman year of high school, when Syd matured in many ways: mentally, by spending many days in the Evanston Public Library learning about the world around him; socially, by wandering around downtown Evanston and observing the peaceful residents, especially Northwestern University students, happily roaming the streets; and physically, as due to their extreme poverty Syd lost 50 pounds.

Toward the end of the summer, Syd's father got in touch with an old friend of his, who owned various pieces of real estate in the Chicago area. This friend offered to give Father an apartment, in exchange for working for him. It was in this way that Syd and his father finally escaped their homelessness and gained a place to stay. Although they didn't even have beds to sleep in or food to put in the refrigerator, it represented progress, and more importantly, it represented a significant step in their plans of hopefully one day saving Jason and Danielle.

Only one more preparation was needed before Syd started high school. With only days to go, Syd visited his cousin and longtime mentor, Aaron, for emergency teaching and training on successfully attending Evanston Township High School. During their intense training session, Aaron filled Syd in on everything he needed to know regarding ETHS, as well as he gave Syd a much-desired update on how Jason, who along with Mother and Danielle lived relatively close by to Aaron, was doing. But Aaron also shared two key pieces of information with Syd, information that he wouldn't soon forget. First, Aaron sadly said that he was moving away with his mother and he would not be attending ETHS anymore, meaning Syd would have to survive there without him. Then secondly, Aaron told him about the female population in high school: both how they possessed the power of a love ("women are the creators of love," Aaron said) which could transform people from monsters to heartfelt people, and how Syd would finally be able to end the lies he told to conceal his double-identity, lies which Sydney was extremely tired of using to hide behind, when he met the right girl- a girl who truly possessed that special power of love.

Upon beginning high school and being reunited with some of his old friends and members of the P.O.A. clique from Nichols, however, an unexpected event led Sydney to decide to reveal the truth about his life to his best friend Mike. It was a significant move for Syd, as it helped him get free from the shame of his past and present lifestyle, as well as it gave him an true friend and ally for the future in Mike, who strongly stated that wanted to help his best friend Syd fight his battles.

And speaking of battles, at the start of Syd's sophomore year at ETHS he made yet another fateful decision: to rescue Jason, by himself! Syd was tired of waiting for his father to come up with a way to save his brother, so in a shocking encounter that has to be read to be given justice, Syd goes head-to-head in battle with his mother once again, and ends up taking Jason home with him (his mother wouldn't let Danielle go). All of a sudden, in an amazing turn of events, Jason was back in Syd's life, and Syd in his--the Humphreys brothers were united once more. Jason joined the P.O.A. team with Syd, Mike, and the rest of the crew, which grew to include such members as Ralph, Stephon, Larry, and Allen. Together, they worked to make a name for themselves and gain influence in the school, but not for their own selfish interests, but for the purpose of helping the weak and leading people in the ways of love and kindness and good fun, just as Aaron had once done at Nichols for Syd, and just as Syd had done in Aaron's example. In fact, upon witnessing the depravity of most ETHS students, a depravity that led to teen drinking and a slew of other problematic or downright wrong outlets, plans were in the works in the P.O.A. for Syd to use his leadership, popularity, and charisma to become prom king, and then in turn use that ultimate position of power to set a new order in the school, an order in which love would be valued over hurting and disrespecting oneself and others while believing in lies. This was the ultimate plan that Syd, Jason, Mike, and the others were aiming to achieve...and the same plan that Jason in particular was to become dismayed over it being put aside, when..."Along Came Jennifer Toast".

Following an unlikely series of events, Allen one unforgettable winter night excitedly told Syd, Jason, and Stephon that he had arranged a meeting with some girls from another Chicago-area high school, Niles North High School. The first three girls, Veronica, Coretta, and Amy, didn't happen to spark Syd's interest, but the fourth, Jennifer, set off fireworks of interest in his very soul. Syd instantly had a feeling when it came to Jennifer, a feeling that there was something extremely special about her. He eagerly introduced himself, and she reciprocated, seeming to like him right away as well.

Despite Jason's constant warnings behind the scenes that it would never work between them- saying that their own situation didn't allow for them to date, that Jennifer wouldn't and couldn't understand people like them who had suffered so much and were constantly struggling just to survive, that he should just focus on the P.O.A. team and being prom king, and even that she wasn't the same religion as him, nevertheless Sydney decided to pursue a relationship with Jennifer. There was just something about her, something too special to pass up. He admitted to Jason that it may be difficult, but he would try to find a way to make it work, because somehow he knew that Jennifer was worth it.

So Syd and Jennifer began a relationship together, one that over time Syd increasingly hoped that it would last for the rest of their lives. Jennifer proved to be downright angelic to him, being extremely friendly, nonjudgmental, caring, moral, encouraging, sweet, and beautiful. Jennifer was the girl of his dreams, the girl whose love was gradually healing the wounds in his heart, and turning him from the monster that lay dormant within him due to his lingering feelings of hatred for his mother and pain from his past, into just Syd- the kid, whose love had been greater than his fear during those times in his past when he held on to his father's promise.

Aaron's words of "women are the creators of love" were seemingly being fulfilled right before Syd's eyes; however, he found that he could not follow through with the rest of Aaron's wisdom. No matter how many times Syd attempted to muster up the strength to do it, no matter how much he agonized over having to continue his old ways, Syd just could not go through with telling Jennifer the truth about his real past and present life. Whether it was from shame, or the worry that he would be thought of differently, or perhaps not liked anymore, or just that Jennifer wouldn't be able to understand, much like Jason said, in the end it was the fear of presenting the real Sydney Humphreys to the woman that he loved that was just too great to overcome. Until he could somehow tell her what he wanted to at heart, Syd decided to just focus on progressing in his relationship with Jennifer together with her, the best that he could.

However, just as always had been the case, Syd couldn't escape the often-harsh reality of his life. His decision to commit himself to Jennifer over the P.O.A. crew ended up angering and disappointing his longtime brothers, and especially his real brother, Jason, who heavily relied on Syd for support. After Syd made clear his decision, and stepped back from the P.O.A. clique and faded out of the limelight at school, Jason, perhaps feeling betrayed but definitely feeling hurt, completed the inner transformation that seemed to be a long time coming for him: the transformation into the vile being that their father had warned them about in his urgent Promise to them so many years ago: he became a "cursed one", consumed by bitterness, hatred, anger, hopelessness, self-pity, and a lust for violence, revenge, and power. He took over as the leader of the P.O.A., and led them down a dark path: the path of aimless self-gratification.

Suddenly Syd had a new problem set before him: the state of his brother, who he had always loved, who he had once risked his life to save, just like Jason had done for him while the two of them battled to survive with their mother growing up. Jason began a path of self-destruction that broke Sydney's heart to not be able to save him from: he started to get into major trouble at school, to the point of nearly being expelled, he no longer respected their father, and most symbolically and significantly, he gave up believing in the power and even the existence of love.

As Syd was actively dating Jennifer, he didn't have much time to devote to his brother, so he pleaded with Mike, the only P.O.A. member (including Jason) who still liked him after his decision to leave the group to focus on Jennifer, to watch over Jason and to try to help him.

But this wasn't the only major problem going on for Syd: all of a sudden his relationship with Jennifer seemed to be slipping away from him. Due to all the time they had been spending together, Jenn's grades started to slip, and when her mother learned of it, she mandated that Jennifer was now only allowed to go out on one day during the weekends (which was when she and Syd spent the most time together), and for just 4 hours on that one day. Syd was determined to be persistent yet patient with his and Jennifer's relationship, by just making the most out of the time that they had together. But then a new development arose: Jennifer's friends suddenly started taking up those 4 hours per week, one week after another, to the extent where it was clearly beyond coincidence that Syd suddenly almost never got to see Jennifer on the weekends. He remembered how Veronica- one of the four girls from Allen's arranged meeting back when Syd first met Jennifer- visibly didn't like him, Jason, Stephon, or Allen. And then, when Jennifer told Sydney that her friend Coretta (another one of the girls from that first encounter) had told her that she and Sydney shouldn't even be holding hands, Syd now had a suspicion that there was a behind-the-scenes vendetta against him by Jennifer's friends, probably for taking so much of Jennifer's time from them, but he also suspected that they viewed him as the same "low-class dog" that his mother had labeled him, due to Jennifer and all her friends being much wealthier than Syd.

Desperation and panic quickly set in for Syd. After already feeling like he had lost Jason, Syd now felt that he was suddenly also losing the girl of his dreams, the love of his life, for whom he had sacrificed everything previously meaningful to him, on account of her being so special. He knew that he had to do something...but he just didn't know what.

To this day, Syd states, he wishes he could take back the decision that he made- not because it didn't work out in the end, but because it was selfish from the beginning, and therefore wrong.

Syd went to Jason with his issue, saying he didn't want to hurt anybody, but at the same time hoping that Jason would be able to change the bleak situation for him. Jason, in his new-found dark self, did what now came naturally to him- in exhange for Syd's assurance that he wouldn't interfere with the P.O.A. clique (at school Syd had still tried to lovingly guide his old crew and protect them from the all-too-common path of self-disrespect and self-destruction that most of the high school kids chose), Jason promised to find a way to stop Jennifer's friends from interfering with Syd's relationship with her.

The first plan Jason devised was for Mike to date Jennifer's friend Coretta- just for a few months, in order to divert her attention from Jennifer and Syd. Once Syd progressed enough with their relationship, then Mike would dump Coretta. Mike, who was gradually becoming more and more like Jason, readily accepted to play his part in this plan, while Syd admittedly swallowed his conscience and justified the terrible deed in his mind, telling himself that it was in order to save his relationship with Jennifer.

For a time, the plan seemed to have worked. Coretta, who never had a boyfriend before, was thrilled to date the attractive and smooth Mike, and Syd was temporarily freed up to spend more time with Jennifer. Their relationship continued to progress, all the way to the point where Syd risked telling Jennifer his true feelings about her: that he loved her. In one of the best moments of his life, Syd stunned himself as well as Jenn with his sudden but dead-serious and honest words when they were driving in the car one day to an Evanston beach:

'“I love you more than anything, Jennifer...don’t try to figure it out; just believe me when I say it, Jenn. Just believe me when I say I love you, and I want to be around you as long as possible. There are a lot of things that I want to tell you; there’s so much that I want you to know. But for right now, this is the only thing I have the courage to tell you. I don’t have a lot of love, Jennifer; my heart is cold and at times I can seem mysterious, but just understand that my heart is warmest and beats heaviest only when I’m around you.”' Jennifer slowly reached for my hand while I continued to drive. “My heart’s a battleground, Jennifer,” I said in a shaky voice. “And it’s hard for me to trust and love people, so please don’t take my love for granted, because this is all I truly have.” (p.427)

Jennifer reciprocated, saying she also loved Syd, but all in all, the moment was short-lived, as during the middle of their time together, Syd received a phone call from Jason, telling him that Mike was tired of dating Coretta, and he had just dumped her, even though it was much earlier than planned. Syd was horrified as Jason jokingly told Syd that eventually everything would be traced back to him, and Jennifer's friends would surely strike back at him harder than ever. Jason proposed that when that happened, then they in turn should strike back even harder, and end the battle once and for all.

And with that, Sydney realized just what he had gotten into, the Pandora's box that had been opened, just like he realized how dark and lost his brother had truly become. Jason was enjoying this entire ordeal, while Syd was shaking in his shoes.

Sure enough, the war was on. Two weeks later, after Jennifer spent a lot of time trying to cheer up the broken-hearted Coretta, Jennifer confronted Sydney with the accusation that he had been cheating on her. Syd had done nothing of the sort, and immediately questioned where this was coming from, only to have Jennifer hand him a false AOL instant messaging chat between him and Coretta, in which he allegedly confided with Jennifer's close friend of his supposed cheating ways. Syd was outraged, and quickly pointed out the reasons why the chat was a fake, but to an extent, the damage had already been done. Syd and Jennifer got into their first real heated argument, and it was now clear that he had a serious target on him by at least one of Jennifer's friends, just as he had suspected all along.

The confused, scared and angered Sydney returned back home from seeing Jennifer with countless mixed feelings and swirling emotions. Upon seeing Jason and Mike and telling them of what just happened (during which time Veronica called Mike's phone and blasted him and said that he and Sydney would pay for what happened to Coretta), the unsurprised Jason immediately proposed a drastic counter-measure: he would use his "new crew" to perform an all-out egging of Coretta's house. Once again Syd just went along, justifying everything on account of his desire to remain with Jennifer. He, Mike, and Jason waited in a nearby car while Jason's group of goons, dressed in all-black like ninjas, emptied carton after carton of eggs all over Coretta's house. Before they could finish, Sydney had an attack of conscience and started his car and zoomed away, but the damage had already been done. Coretta immediately called Jennifer and told her what happened, and Jennifer immediately then called Sydney, as she suspected that due to the recent AOL-chat episode with her, he was somehow involved in the egging. Syd trid to lie his way out of it, but Jennifer stronly suspected him nevertheless, was furious, and hung up on him. More than ever before, Syd was internally tormented by the situation that had escalated. All he had ever wanted to do was continue his relationship with Jennifer, without anyone else interfering, but things had gotten so complicated and so out of hand that he no longer knew what to do.

“DAMN!!!” I shouted as I threw my phone to the ground. I fell to my knees as Jason approached me. “My life is one big fat lie, Jennifer!” I said as Jason stood beside me. “Everything I’ve worked for, everything I created is one big fat lie, except my feelings for you!” Tears fell from my eyes as I punched the floor. (p.444)

The next story, "Devils May Cry", begins with Sydney doing something he admittedly should have done long ago: talk to his father.

“You still don’t get it,” my father said in a firm voice as his pots and pans sizzled in the kitchen. “You still haven’t realized that hatred, anger, and revenge only makes things worse.” I slightly lowered my head while my father continued to work around the kitchen. “Maybe I should speak it in another language,” he said, “because obviously you don’t understand English too well.”
I slammed my hands on the table. “You’re still not answering my question!” I yelled. “You haven't told me anything useful. Once again you’re telling me about my anger and rage, instead of giving me the answers I seek. How do you expect me to stay calm, loving, and level-headed when I’m constantly battling people for my girl’s love? How do you expect me not to strike back when I’m constantly being attacked?!” My father poured more water into a pot that was on the stove; then he reached into the fridge and grabbed out a few onions. “And now you’re ignoring me!” I yelled. “Now you’re pretending that you don’t even hear me.” I quickly jumped out of my seat. “Why did I even come to you?!”
“You came to me because a small part of you knows that I’m right,” Father said as he continued to cook. “A small part of you knows that you and Jennifer cannot exist if things don’t get solved once and for all. You know that things will come to an end if you don’t regain your humanity.”
I quickly struck my hands in the air. “Well, tell me, Dad!” I shouted. “Tell me how I can regain my humanity! Tell me what I can do to make things right!”
My father poured more water into a pot and adjusted the heat on the stove. “Jennifer should have known the truth from the very beginning,” he said as he sliced through a couple of onions. “You should have told her the truth about our lives, but you didn’t. You should have trusted her; you should have allowed her to know the real you; you should have treated her with honor and respect! But instead of doing that, instead of being honest with her, you chose to lie and hide the way things really are. You chose to use deceit in order to hide your lineage, and it was all because you were ashamed of yourself, right, Sydney? Did I miss anything? Feel free to stop me if I’m wrong.” I shook my head but remained silent while my father continued to talk. “You were too ashamed of yourself to tell Jenny the truth,” he said. “You let your pride and your fear get the better of you! And then you allowed Jason to corrupt your mind! You allowed him to trick you once again.” I suddenly snapped my head around to stare at my father. “What?” my father said the second he heard me panting for air. “You think I didn’t know? You think I don’t know what Jason has been up to?” My eyes flickered; my breathing became heavy. “I know everything both of you have done,” my father said. “I’ve just kept quiet and let you live your lives the way you want to.” My father slowly added the onions he chopped up into the pot of food that he was cooking on the stove. “The first day I met Jennifer,” he said calmly, “I knew she was something special. I knew she was someone that would drive you crazy. But at the same time, I feared that something like this would happen.” (p.446-448)

As always Syd was both educated and amazed by his father, although he still wasn't sure what he was going to do. After their conversation, Syd went to Jennifer's home, as she was leaving to vacation in Florida for a week. Instead of being able to wish her a good trip, though, Syd was suddenly hit by a sadness upon seeing her. She was practically the only good part of his life remaining, and he couldn't stand to let her go- at least, not at such a difficult time as this. So he asked her just that; he asked her to please not go on her trip, and instead remain with him. Jennifer didn't realize the reasons for Syd's words, however, believing him to be selfish, and she left on her trip anyway, not even taking her cell phone for Syd to be able to reach her. Little did she know that the next week would be one of the hardest in Syd's entire life.

And it began as soon as he returned back home from seeing her. Upon re-entering his apartment, Syd was startled to hear the fire alarm blaring loudly, and then petrified to see smoke everywhere in their apartment. Syd rushed into the kitchen, where he found a raging fire on the stove, and more importantly, his beloved father on the floor, unconscious, with streams of blood pouring from his mouth. Just then Jason walked in through the back door, and the two of them frantically doused the kitchen fire with a fire extinguisher, tried to help their father, and called 9-1-1. The entire time Syd was shaking and crying uncontrollably, but Jason didn't flinch or shed a single tear. He was visibly emotionless, stone-cold, like a statue. Once again Syd sadly marveled at the lost state of his brother and extent of his demise.

After the paramedics came and took Father, Jason, and Syd to the hospital, a scene ensued of unspeakable proportions. While Syd and Jason sat in a waiting room with a doctor discussing their father's condition, which was bad although not fatal, as he possessed multiple ulcers, Rheumatoid arthritis, as well as high blood pressure, someone completely unexpected entered the waiting room...someone Jason and Sydney hadn't seen for years, though she still haunted their lives every day...someone named Mother.

Somehow she had already heard about Father’s supposed physical plight, and had rushed to the scene. When the enraged Syd and Jason confronted her about it, their mother, who had brought Danielle with her, calmly informed them that their father had actually been in touch with her for the past few weeks. He had been worried about the change in Jason’s behavior and Syd’s problems, money was extremely tight in their household, and also his health had been slowly deteriorating. So he had been asking her for help.

The dumbfounded Syd and Jason watched as their mother slyly reached into her purse and pulled out a check made out for more than enough money to pay for their father’s hospital stay (he didn’t have medical insurance) as well as cover the medication he would need after his release. But before Syd and Jason could even begin to think that their mother had had a change of heart, she opened her mouth once more to unleash her heart-piercing words, as well as her sick and vile catch for giving them her money:

“Taking care of you and Jason has put a serious strain on your father’s body,” Mother said in a firm voice. “Working fourteen hour shifts for more than four years straight with no breaks or help has destroyed him. That’s why he chose to call me. He knew he wouldn't last forever; he knew he didn't have the strength to take me on. So he sold his honor, he gave in; he begged me like a dog to help him, just like today, hours before this little travesty happened.” My mother ran her hand through her hair. “And now,” she said, “here, in this very hospital, in front of Danielle, in front of me and your brother, you, Sydney, will get down on your knees and beg me like your father did!”
My eyes widened; my body trembled. “You demon,” I said as I stared into my mother’s cold eyes. A smile from ear to ear was covering her face.
“Don’t you dare do it, Sydney!” Jason yelled from the other end of the emergency room. I quickly turned my head, only to see a terrified expression on my little sister Danielle’s face.
“Don’t you do it, Sydney!” Jason screamed again. “You better not give in! You better not let that devil win!” (p.464-465)

But just as Sydney would do almost anything to be with Jennifer, so would he do almost anything to save his father. So as Jason screamed, Syd knelt down in front of their mother, and begged her for the money. Mother laughed loudly, and then promptly proceeded to rip up the check into tiny pieces right in front of Syd's face, after which she angrily shouted that she would never help them. After that, Mother walked out of the hospital, leaving Danielle with Syd and Jason. But Jason didn't stay either. He told Sydney that he would never forgive him for what he just did; he would never forgive him for begging their mother, for selling his honor and pride...for letting her win again. Jason then walked out of the hospital too, leaving the crushed Syd and Danielle by themselves with their sick father and no money to pay for his bills or medication.

After Danielle and he made a quick, emotional visit to see their now-awake and stable father in his hospital bed, Syd felt betrayed by his father for secretly talking to their mother, he of course felt betrayed by his mother, but most of all at that moment, Syd felt betrayed by Jason. As he drove with Danielle back towards their home (Danielle would now live with them, as their mother deserted her at the hospital), all Syd could think about was getting revenge against his brother, who he blamed for their father's health problems, as well as Syd was enraged that Jason had left them there at the hospital before they even saw their father or knew what was going to happen. Syd drove like a madman straight for the one place he knew that Jason had gone to: Penny Park.

Upon getting there, Syd jumped out of his car, locked Danielle inside it, and dashed straight at Jason, who was hanging out with some members of Syd's P.O.A. crew. After a heated exchange of words, Syd punched Jason directly in the face, and the fight was on. The two brothers, who had always relied on and loved one another through all the trails of their lives growing up, fought tooth-and-nail, like the bitter enemies that somehow they had become. Blow after bloody blow was thrown and received by each of them, to the horror of the screaming Danielle from inside Syd's car, and to the shock of the nearby Mike, Larry, Ralph, and Stephon, who didn't interfere until the end of the fight when Syd had Jason pinned to the ground. At that time Mike finally got in-between, grabbing Syd and breaking up the two worn-down, bloodied and torn brothers. The other friends of Jason, however- Larry, Ralph, and Stephon- were nowhere to be found. They had abandoned him.

“I hate you!” Jason screamed. “I hate you and everything you stand for!”
I fought wildly under Mike’s pin. “Good!” I shouted back. “I hate you too! I hate you and your stupid power! You are not my brother; you’re a monster, and you’ve just been beaten by me!” Jason quickly turned his head left and right while he staggered around, as if he was looking for his friends.
“What’s the matter Jason?!” I yelled while I spat up blood. “Are you looking for Stephon, and the rest of my old friends?!” My brother continued to turn his head left and right with a horrified expression on his face behind all the blood. “They left you!!!” I screamed while Mike continued to pin me to the ground. “They left you here to deal with me, because they don’t give a damn about you! They were only using you to better their own names! They aren’t real friends, Jason; they’re nothing! I am your real friend! Do you hear me?! I am your real friend!”
Jason quickly wiped blood away from his face. “You aren’t anything to me!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “I hate you!” I panted for air as Mike slowly released me. “I hate you for being weak!” Jason yelled. “I hate that I have to live in your shadow! I hate that you are so stupid; I hate that you believe in love!” Jason wiped the blood away from his face. “We’re done, Sydney,” Jason said firmly. “I won’t ever ask you for help again!” I cringed while Mike helped me up from the ground. “I’ll figure out a way to save Dad!” Jason shouted throughout Penny Park as I staggered and struggled to stand. “I’ll figure out a way to make things right for him on my own! I don’t need friends, I don’t need Stephon, I don’t need Larry, I don’t need Ralph, and I damn sure don’t need you!” (p.475-476).

Following their fight, Syd and Jason's relationship reached the lowest point it had ever been. They no longer hung out together; they no longer confided in one another. Syd deeply regretted fighting Jason, but decided to set his focus on just working as much as he could to pay for his father's medical needs. Along with the money he had saved up from working for Allen's mother for TIZ Media Foundation[1] some time back, he was able to pay for Father's medication. However, the joy was short-lived, as another problem hit the entire Humphreys family: an eviction notice was posted on their front door. Syd found out from his father another unpleasant secret: due to his ailing health and their bills and overall situation, the rent hadn't been paid in four months. Suddenly, the ominous threat of homelessness was set before Syd, as well as Jason, Danielle, and Father. Syd was devastated once again, but he shortly got a job at a gas station in Skokie, where he worked the 10:00 pm-to-6:00 am shift before he started school at 8:00 in the morning. Although the job was extremely taxing in more ways than one on Syd,it combined with an extension from the landlord that Jason asked for were enough to temporarily put off the threat of eviction.

In the aftermath, with an extra $5 for gas and a lot of mustered-up courage, Syd decided to visit Jennifer with a new purpose: he was going to finally tell her the truth about his life...

With his heart racing, and his father's words running through his mind, Syd met with Jennifer in a park near her house, fully intending on letting her know his true life story. But as Syd began to explain, when he had only started to delve into the harsh details, he was surprised and moved to find Jennifer's face covered with tears. The more he shared, even though he had barely even skimmed the surface of what he wanted to say, the more his love cried. It didn't take long before Syd decided that he couldn't do this. Jason was right about one thing after all: Jennifer couldn't understand such savagery as they had always known; she was too pure and innocent to handle such savagery, evil, and suffering. So Syd gradually rounded out his talk, putting a good spin on everything, and a smile on his face. He reverted to using the same white lies that only hours before he had wanted to do away with once and for all. But he couldn't bear to see his love's heart troubled, even if it meant that she would remain in the dark about part of his life. As long as they were still together, that was all that Syd really cared about.

Several months passed relatively free from problems (that is, except for one near-death experience at the gas station thanks to a deranged customer who despite being told that the cash registers were temporarily down was nevertheless insistent in getting black and mild cigars...an experience about a month after which Syd quit the gas station). Syd and Jennifer's relationship grew and grew, Syd turned 19 years old and graduated from ETHS, and most of the old P.O.A. crew, who since the fight weren't really friends with either Syd or Jason anymore, moved away for college, except for Mike. And as for Jason, he got a girlfriend named Beth, who Syd hoped would redeem his lost brother's heart.

But following an argument with Jason in which Syd unintentionally made a grave mistake by calling Jason a "nut" (the same name that their mother used to call him), Jason angrily rode off on his bike by himself. No one saw him for the next few hours, until during the time when Father was preparing dinner in the kitchen, suddenly Jason's torn and bloodied body came crashing through the back door; his hands and especially the back of his head were covered in blood. He said nothing except three barely audible words: "...damn you...Balial..." Seconds after the initial shock, Father screamed for Mike, who was with them, to call 9-1-1 and then ran himself to the bathroom to get towels. While they were away, Jason did something which would throw Syd into a swirling hurricane of mixed emotions: Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out a bloodied bag, filled to the top with marijuana: “Please...don’t...tell...” Jason managed to utter to Syd, before he finally passed out. Not knowing what to do but knowing that he had to act immediately because their father would be back from the bathroom any second, Syd quickly took the bag and stuffed it into his own pocket, right before Father came back. He knew that Father would have kicked Jason out of their home if he discovered that he was involved with drugs, something Father hated with a passion due to their longtime role in the destruction of his family.

Father then decided he wasn't going to wait for the ambulance any longer. With all of his strength he lifted Jason high in the air and ran to his car, instructing Mike and Syd to stay behind to answer questions when the ambulance and police arrived. As soon as he left, Syd grabbed Mike and tackled him to the ground, furiously yelling for answers. He knew that Mike had gotten close to Jason as they had primarily hung out together during the times when Syd was away with Jennifer. After some physical coercing Mike revealed that Jason was peddling drugs, and he was also in a gang. Mike explained that Jason had always drawn his strength from Syd, but since the P.O.A. group had disintegrated and Syd had been spending most of his free time with Jennifer, Jason felt lost. Mike explained that Jason no longer believed in love, unlike Syd and their father, but Jason all of a sudden felt like he had nothing to protect- and that's what he joined a gang to gain. Mike explained that when Syd had been working at the gas station, Jason sold drugs, and he had used the money to help pay for their father's medical bills...

But before Mike could continue, Syd punched Mike directly in the face. He couldn't believe that his best friend had kept all of this information about his brother a secret from him, just like he couldn't believe that instead of protecting Jason like Syd had asked Mike to, Jason was getting worse and worse while Mike only got closer and closer to him.

“You worthless piece of trash!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “You knew this all along?! You knew what my brother was doing behind the scenes and you kept it from me?! You allowed my brother to do all of this behind my back while you smiled in my face! And you claimed to be my brother’s keeper?! You claimed to be my brother?!” Mike picked himself off of the ground as he wiped the blood away from his busted lip. “You’re nothing to me Mike!” I shouted. “You’re worse than Jason; you’re worse than trash!” Mike lowered his head as I continued to scream. “I trusted you!” I yelled. “I allowed you into my heart! I allowed you into my family, and you betrayed me!! You allowed my brother to make these decisions without telling me! You allowed him to join a gang and sell drugs to save my father!” Mike didn't say a word as I screamed furiously. He just stood before me, more ashamed and afraid than ever before. (p.519)

Mike apologized to Syd, but quickly directed his attention elsewhere: to what Jason had said: "Balial". Balial was an infamous drug-dealing, gang-banging, abusive scum bag who both Syd and Mike already knew from their days at ETHS, much like just about everybody knew him. Mike screamed that they had to get Balial back for doing this to Jason; they had to get revenge. Syd shouted that no, he absolutely was not going to risk his life to get revenge; he was done with fighting forever, as he no longer approved of it, much like he said that neither his father nor Jennifer would approve of it. But Mike immediately pointed out that what Syd said wasn't true- if someone were to hurt Jennifer, Mike said, then he knew that Syd would try to demolish whoever it was that tried to hurt his love. Syd lowered his head and realized that Mike was right; it was true that he hadn't completely set his heart against fighting, as in his eyes there was still a place for it. Right then and there, Syd agreed with Mike to get Balial, the kid who had terrorized countless others in his life, who was as dangerous as anybody they knew, back.

After strategic planning and a fast-paced car ride, Syd and Mike arrived at Crimson Park, a small place in Skokie that Balial was known to "run" along with his crew of misfits. Mike stayed behind and out of sight while Syd ran ahead straight to where Balial and about five others from his group were posted up, smoking, drinking, and laughing the day away. When Syd reached them, he and Balial exchanged a few words, during which time Balial revealed with pleasure that he had just taken care of Syd's little brother Jason, who had been stupid enough to interfere with his attempt at selling drugs to a high school kid. Before he could say much else, Syd immediately slammed his fist into Balial's face with more force than he had ever used on another person before, knocking Balial to the ground...and the fight was on. All five of Balial's crew jumped Syd, including Balial when he regrouped himself, and Syd fought like a madman against all of them. But the numbers were too overwhelming, and soon he was overpowered, bruised, and bloodied. Punch after punch pummeled his face and body, and then when he fell to the ground, kick after kick after kick continued to violently pound him. Finally Balial called for everyone to stop, and lift the barely conscious Sydney up from the ground, which two of his gang members did. Balial grinned, shared a few more choice words with Syd about how exactly he had taken down Jason, punched him in the face again, and then unveiled a switchblade from his pocket, which he slowly began to unravel as he laughed.

It was at that second when with the little strength he had left, Syd screamed as loud as he could: "MIKE!!"

Instantly Mike bolted from behind a nearby tree onto the scene, swinging an aluminum baseball bat. Before Balial or anyone else figured out what was going on, Mike was cutting them all down to the ground with massive blows of the bat directly to their knees and ankles. Screams of agony filled Crimson Park as Mike continued to swing the bat at full force, and Syd took the opportunity to take one last furious swing of his fist directly at Balial, which happened to break his nose. In less than a minute, it was all over. Syd and Mike had come out on top, but their plan wasn't yet complete. Suddenly multiple police cars raced toward them. Mike screamed at all of Balial's crew that they were free to go, and seeing the oncoming cops, they somehow managed to stand and then hop and limp their way out of the park. But Balial was not free to go. Mike pinned him to the ground, and along with Sydney, the three of them waited for the police to arrive (during which time Syd happened to get a call from Jennifer- he was supposed to have met with her. Syd quickly answered the phone and despite Jenn's angry and confused shouting, managed to tell her that he loved her more than anything, but right now he had to go).

The original plan was for all three of them to go to jail for a night or two, but when the police arrived, to Syd's surprise, Mike changed the plan, using the bag of drugs that Jason had brought home, the drugs which he had stolen from Balial when Balial had tried to sell them to the high school kid, in order to frame Balial to the police. It worked, and Syd and Mike got off with a warning while Balial was taken away. It turned out to be even worse for him than Syd and Mike had expected: as it turned out, Balial was well-known by the police, and there were multiple arrest warrants for him. Needless to say, he was going to be in jail for a lot, lot longer than a night or two.

Upon returning home and making up a lie to his father to explain the welts all over his face, much like Jason had done, Syd felt even worse than he did before. He wasn't proud of his actions with Balial, even though they had led to a destructive menace to society being taken off the streets, but instead he felt like more than ever before, his only real enemy was Jason. The rage and hatred in Syd's heart had returned once again, and it was severely wearing on him. When he had moment with Jason in their room, along with Mike, they had a heated exchange, in which Syd warned Jason that he would not tolerate him ever bringing drugs in their home again. So to avoid having to deal with his brother, Syd spent even more time away from home than ever before. Over the next months he just tried to focus on school (he was now attending Northeastern Illinois University) and his relationship with Jennifer.


The next and last four stories of Syd the Kid : "The Beginning of the End"; "The Tragic Love Song of Destiny"; "Final Atonement"; and "Until We Meet Again", are among the most riveting, shocking, moving, and downright life-changing stories that one will ever read.

They begin with Syd a debate in his mind, centered around the question of good vs. evil in a world full of pain and suffering. “What good is being good if the end results are only and always going to be bad?” Syd wonders. It is a riddle that, for the time being, is beyond him. It is next revealed that the physical location of Syd's wandering thoughts is the dean's office of Evanston Township High School, where Syd is sitting at a large table across from the ETHS dean and a handful of other school officials. Next to Syd is his father, and on the far side of the table was none other than Syd's mother. The occasion of the scene? Jason, who was a senior at ETHS, was being expelled.

The school officials threw a thick file onto the table, full of an assortment of papers all related to the trouble that Jason had caused over the course of the school year. When Father slammed his hand on the table and demanded why he hadn't been told of any of his son's problems, the confused school officials looked at each other and then back at Father, and then told him that they had informed Ms. Humphreys the entire time. The rage and hatred in Syd's heart quickly spiked as he looked at his mother, who was dressed far better than anyone else in the room, grinning slyly. She used the moment to address the school dean, as she pulled out a file of her own.

“Jason isn’t like other kids,” Mother said in a firm voice as she reached into her purse and pulled out a stack of documents that she passed out to the staff members, who now revealed themselves to be social workers. “As you can see in his charts,” my mother said in a soft voice, “my son has had psychiatric evaluation.”
Instantly I jumped out of my seat and slammed my hand on the table, startling everyone except my mother, whose cold sharp eyes slowly fixed directly on mine. There was no anger on her face; there was no sadness behind her eyes; there was only hatred. She was ready to do anything in order to set us back even further. “You’re the one who needs psychiatric evaluation!” I yelled.
“Sydney!” my father shouted.
“I’m not going to let you ruin my brother’s life!” I shouted at my mother, ignoring my father’s words.
“Sydney!” my father shouted again as my mother continued to stay calm.
“I’m not going to let you play and pretend as if my brother is crazy, you witch!” I screamed.
“SYDNEY!” my father screamed again as he yanked me back down into my seat.
“Get off of me!” I shouted as I slapped my father’s hands away from my shoulder. “All of you here can swallow this woman's crap if you want to!” I yelled at the shocked school officials. “You can all let her trick you into thinking my brother is nuts! But I won’t stand for it! I won’t let her rub that trash into my face!” I quickly jumped to my feet and stormed to the front door, which I slammed behind me as I exited, but not before I heard my mother’s words.
“He’s just upset about his brother,” she said in a soft voice as I marched out of the door. “So please, you guys, let’s not pay my loving son any attention.” (p.538-539)

Syd exited ETHS, stepping back outside into the frigid December air, as he continued to reminisce. His brother had reached about as low a point as a person could go: he no longer believed in love, he had little hope, his views had become nihilistic and sadistic, and he was constantly consumed with anger and hatred. And Mike, who Syd hadn't talked to in months, still hung around Jason all the time, simply because Mike had over time become very similar to Jason. The two of them now only sought quick fixes of self-gratification in their unconscious efforts to escape dealing with the issues that were destroying them. Mike had become a womanizer and an infidel, who despite finding a girlfriend who he genuinely liked, named Marina, he still continued to hurt her. Once, at Marina's birthday party, Syd caught Mike staring at one of Marina's friends, named Cynthia. When Syd got on Mike to come to his senses, Mike said something that absolutely shocked Syd: he suggested that Syd try to get with her, despite knowing fully well that Syd was going steady with Jennifer, who he loved more than anything or anyone else. Immediately Syd realized the extent of Mike's demise, just like he had already sadly come to terms with Jason's fallen, lost, and dark heart - a heart which ultimately was not renewed with his relationship with Beth, which also ended due to Jason's infidelity transgressions.

Another event that Syd recalled regarding Mike and Jason was the most upsetting of all for him. Two months back, in October, the three of them attended Niles North's homecoming dance, which Jennifer invited Syd to. At the dance, though, Syd could barely concentrate on Jenn due to Mike and Jason treating their own dates with utmost disrespect while they tried to pick up as many random girls' phone numbers as possible. Eventually Jennifer got frustrated with Syd not paying enough attention to her, and the two of them got into an argument, after which Jenn left Syd to go dance by herself among the crowd. While Syd again scolded Jason and Mike, they casually pointed out to him that something was happening with Jennifer. Syd immediately turned to look in the direction of the dance floor, only to watch in horror as three girls angrily approaching Jenn, who was oblivious to them while she was dancing with some guy, who apparently was one of their dates. One of the girls violently kicked Jenn in the back, sending her sprawling forwards, fortunately to be caught by some of her friends; otherwise she would have fell face-first onto the floor.

As the screaming girls moved toward Jenn again, Syd madly dashed through the crowd, with an anger quickly building in him unlike any other he had ever felt. Just as the same girl who had kicked Jenn grabbed her and reared back her hand to deliver a vicious slap, Syd made it onto the scene just in time. He caught the girl's arm, and then with all of his strength shoved her across the dance floor. As the other two girls then lunged for Jennifer, Syd intervened again, grabbing them by their throats in mid-air and threw them to the ground. As the crowd stopped dancing and looked on in shock, immediately all of the three girls' dates emerged from the crowd and angrily approached Syd. But Sydney wasn't afraid; he had lost it, and he dared any or all of them to fight him, telling him that he would kill them.

As Jennifer in tears pleaded for Syd to stop, a few of Jennifer's male friends grabbed Syd from behind and dragged him off the dance floor. Syd struggled against their grasp, and screamed out for help: "JASON! MIKE!...Jason!? Mike?!" But as he looked around, Syd realized in shock that the two of them were nowhere to be found. They had left him. An entire new anger took over Syd- an anger mixed with hurt. He felt rejected and betrayed by his brother and his best friend.

After calling off the rest of the night with Jenn and explaining to her parents what had happened, Syd raced home in a blind rage. He found Jason and Mike there, waiting outside. Syd jumped out of his car and confronted the two of them. He grabbed Mike by his shirt collars and body-slammed him to the ground, after which Jason immediately grabbed Syd and put him into an unbreakable full-nelson maneuver.

As the three of them screamed and fought in the late night, all three of them were suddenly taken aback when the front door swung open and out stepped Father. On his face was a look of confusion, hurt, and fury all mixed into one; it was a look that instantly made Syd, Jason, and Mike straighten themselves out and try to play it off like there was nothing wrong. But Father wasn't having it; he was enraged, and demanded an explanation, which Syd quickly provided. Upon learning what had happened at the dance, Father confronted Jason, in an unforgettable and telling scene of monumental proportions:

“They left me there, Dad!” I shouted.
My father instantly struck his hand in the air to silence my words. “Did you see when Jennifer got attacked?” he said in a firm voice to Jason, who now laughed. “I don’t see anything funny!” Father shouted. Mike lowered his head the moment my father said those words. I could hear the anger in Father’s voice; I could sense that he wasn't playing any games.
“Yeah, I saw her get kicked!” Jason shouted finally.
“So why didn’t you stick around to see what happened?!” my father screamed. “Why didn’t you help your brother?”
“Are you kidding?” Jason shouted as he turned his head in Mike’s direction.
“Don’t look at Mike!” Father said firmly. “He can’t help you.”
The smile on Jason’s face quickly disappeared. “What happens to Sydney's girlfriend is his business!” he screamed. “I don’t care what happens to him or his silly little girlfriend.”
My father slowly shook his head left and right as he stared into Jason’s eyes. “So you chose to abandon your brother?” he yelled. “You chose to leave Syd and Jennifer behind?”
Jason quickly nodded his head up and down. “I sure did!” he yelled, without remorse. “I had better things to do with my time.” My heart pounded violently the second Jason said those words. I wasn’t important to him any longer; I didn't mean anything to him anymore. Jason wasn’t going to protect me like he had been doing all his life. He truly wanted nothing more to do with me. We were really enemies; we were really at war.
“You had better things to do with your time, Jason?!” my father shouted angrily.
“Yep,” Jason said as he smiled. “I was too busy making out with my date!”
Immediately Mike stepped forward. He must have realized what Jason was saying, or maybe he realized where he was going with this conversation, and he wanted to interject.
“Don’t say a word, Mike,” Jason shouted, before Mike could speak.
“Oh!” my father suddenly shouted as I stood behind him more afraid and confused than ever before, “I see what’s going on here.” Immediately Jason’s eyes sharpened, as I trembled uncontrollably. “You think you’re better than Sydney!” Jason flinched the instant our father said those words. “And I bet you think you’re better than me as well, don’t you Jason?!” Jason’s body trembled, while his hands formed into fists.
“Jason,” Mike said as he placed his hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t stop him, Mike!” my father shouted angrily. “Don’t try to pacify what’s going on here! Let Jason say what he has to say!” Jason’s breathing intensified as sweat formed on his forehead. “Go on, Jason!” my father shouted.
“I AM BETTER THAN YOU!” Jason screamed. Immediately my eyes widened. Jason had crossed a line that not even I knew he was willing to cross. He had said something that I would have never dreamt about saying in a billion years. “I am better than you pops!” Jason screamed again. “I’m better than you, and I’m a hell of a lot better than Sydney!” Jason’s words cut through my soul the moment he said them. Without one physical blow he had had hit me harder than any other person had hit me before. He had crushed my heart in a instant.
“ALL MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN CHEATED!” Jason screamed at the top of his lungs. “I’ve never had anything in this world thanks to my mother and your lies!” My father quietly stood still as tears ran down Jason’s face. “You’ve tricked me!” Jason shouted. “You’ve fooled Sydney, and you’ve even fooled Danielle into believing in your stupid ways!” My father didn’t say anything as he continued to stand in front of my brother with no visible expression on his face. Apparently unlike him though, the anger inside me was swelling like a balloon. “Love is not real, pops!” Jason shouted. “It’s a made-up feeling that only fools believe in! It’s a made-up feeling that destroys warriors! It’s a feeling that I won’t let corrupt or tarnish my mind!”
My father slowly looked at the ground and took a deep breath, as if he was absorbing everything in. “I haven’t tricked you, my son,” he finally said.
“Yes you have!” Jason shouted.
“I do love and care about you, Jason,” Father said.
“No you don’t!” Jason shouted.
“Love is real, my son,” Father said in a low voice.
Jason shook his head left and right as he glanced over to Mike, who was shaking even harder than I was. “All you care about is Sydney!” he shouted. Immediately my father stepped backwards.
“Sydney?” my father said. “What does Sydney have to do with this?!”
“What?!” Jason shouted as a smile formed on his face. “You think I don’t know what you did, Dad? You think I don’t know that you sold your soul to the devil in order to pay for Syd's schooling?”
I quickly glanced over to my father, who lowered his head the second Jason said those words. “What the hell is Jason talking about Dad?!” I shouted.
“Oh!” Jason screamed. “So you didn’t tell Sydney?! Well why don’t you tell him now pops! Why don’t you tell Syd how he’s able to go to Northeastern?!” My father continued to stare at the ground as Jason fixed his eyes on mine. “Dad sold his honor, Sydney!” he yelled as more tears rolled down his face. “He begged our mother for the money to pay for your schooling. This semester, I heard he got on his knees in front of our Mom and some of her friends just for the money to pay for your schooling this year!”
My breathing intensified as my father continued to stare at the ground. “Dad?” I said in a low voice, but Father said nothing.
“You see?!” Jason screamed. “How can you expect me to look up to someone like this?! How do you expect me to believe in and follow the ways of someone who sells their pride and their honor?” Tears formed in my father’s eyes as Jason continued to scream.
“You aren’t my hero, Dad!” Jason yelled. “You aren’t the strong warrior I once looked up to when I was younger! You’re nothing more than a prostitute who sells his honor to get what he wants!”
Without even thinking, without even giving it a second thought, I lunged towards Jason and tackled him to the ground. No matter how hard I hit him, no matter how many blows I swung at his head, it didn’t seem to take the pain that Jason had placed in my heart away. I couldn't believe that was how he felt; I couldn’t believe that he had said such atrocious things. But most importantly, more than anything else, I couldn’t believe that my father simply walked away from Jason after his words, just like I couldn’t believe that Jason had made him cry. That day, Jason broke our father’s heart in more ways than one. Father, whose very heart throbbed for his children, had lost a beloved son to the darkness, a son who had rejected his promise, a son who didn’t believe in the sacrificial nature of his true love. (p.553-556)

The sting of the icy cold December wind returned Syd's mind to the present- him standing outside ETHS while his father, mother, and the school officials all decided Jason's fate- but Syd's heart remained as torn as it was two months back. In frustration Syd came to the belief that all his dreams were now dead, except for Jennifer. In a symbolic act, he quickly ripped Aaron's dog tag off from around his neck, and launched it as hard as he could at ETHS's front door, where it slammed and then dropped into the snow, as Syd turned around and walked home.

During the walk, Syd suddenly realized that it was December 4th, 2006 - the one-year anniversary of the start of his and Jennifer's relationship. As he reached home and headed for his car to go buy Jenn a gift with the last saved up paycheck from the gas station job, Syd heard a familiar voice behind him. It was Mike, whom Syd hadn't talked to since the day of the Niles North homecoming incident two months ago. Even though Syd was still upset at Mike for everything that he had and hadn't done with Jason, still Syd invited him to go to the mall with him. Their entire time together was dark yet uplifting- both of them were down emotionally, but Syd was able to teach Mike some important... (plot summary to be cont.)

[edit] Characters

Sydney Humphreys - the protagonist and narrator of the story, which follows his life from the age of seven to twenty. "Syd", as he is best known as, undergoes a constant struggle both at home as well as at school to believe in and follow his father's teachings of love in the midst of a childhood and adolescence marked by seemingly unceasing pain, suffering, loss, and confusion.

Jason - Sydney's one-year-younger brother. He is an extremely passionate, with a fiercely proud and competitive nature that Syd relied on as a pillar of strength and support for him while the two of them grew up trying to survive from their mother's abuses while keeping their hearts and minds in-tact in the absence of their father's presence. Early signs of mistrust and disillusionment in Jason regarding "Father's promise" manifested in rebellious acts, self-pity, and a nihilistic view of life. To Syd's great anguish, Jason eventually separated himself from the family to live with Mike and pursue a life path different from that of his father and brother.

Danielle - Sydney's sister, and the youngest of the Humphreys children. She is characterized by her kind and gentle demeanor. Danielle was unique among Sydney and Jason in that Mother favored her, unlike the boys who lived in constant fear of their mother. As a very small child she was kept separate by Mother from Sydney and Jason in the household, so they would sneak at night to visit their sleeping baby sister in her room.

Father - the backbone of the Humphrey family. Forced to be on the run and in and out of his children's lives due to their mother's "games", nevertheless it is his "promise" that inspired Sydney and Jason to never give up in the face of their daily struggles. They held tightly to the dream of one day living with Father, free from the everyday pain and suffering they continually faced.

Mother - the thorn in the side of the Humphreys family, the antagonist incessantly tormenting Sydney and Jason, as well as their father. Throughout their childhood, she was able to manipulate the police and the courts in order to keep their father away from the three children while she pursued her own devious interests. Mother is an extremely temperamental, violent, abusive, and vindictive person who showed herself to care more about money, power, and entertainment than her family.

Mike - Sydney's first best friend from school, with whom he and Jason went on countless "adventures". He is the first and the most trusted member of the P.O.A. clique that Sydney created. Unlike everyone else, he is the only one who knows the complete truth about Sydney's life. In the end, however, Mike chooses a path similar to Jason, with whom he went to live.

Jennifer - Sydney's girlfriend, the first real love of his life. She is characterized by her caring, optimistic, and fun-loving personality, although she is described by Jason as sheltered and naive in regards to the harsh realities of life. She, like most, is completely oblivious to Sydney's true lifestyle and past.

Aaron - Sydney's older cousin, who mentored him at Nichols Middle School and Evanston Township High School. He originally formed the Pretty Boys of America (P.O.A.) clique at ETHS, which Syd first joined as a member and later inherited as the leader. Aaron gave Sydney invaluable support, encouragement, advice, and even material gifts such as clothing, and most notably, a dog tag with "P.O.A." inscribed on it. Aaron's dog tag is one of Sydney's most prized possessions, because of the meaning and significance it represents.

Prince - Mother's boyfriend, a drug-dealer and gang-banger who hid drugs in the Humphreys' home for a short time when Sydney was nine years old. A massive drug raid by the police led to Prince's arrest, but not before he threatened the 8-year old Jason's life with a gun.

Mark - originally one of Jennifer's friends, he becomes one of Sydney's best friends of the later years, playing an instrumental role in helping Sydney emerge from the period of great darkness he was in while his father was sick, Jason left, and Jennifer's and his relationship fell apart - all at once.

Lamar - originally one of Jennifer's old friends, he gave Syd an ETHS-Niles North basketball game ticket in order to see Jennifer one last time. He also provides a helping hand to Syd when he's down and out. He is described by Syd to be one of the coolest and most collected people he has ever met.

Allen - a member of Syd's Pretty Boy of America team (P.O.A), he is a good friend who often comes in and out of Syd's life. He is the main reason for Syd meeting Jennifer.

Larry - another member of the P.O.A. team, who Syd personally sought out after Larry endured a cruel humiliation at the hands of a competing clique, "The Immortals".

Rudy - another good friend of Syd, who never quite joins the P.O.A. clique. He is an amazing athlete who has endless potential.

Stephon - a member of the Pretty Boys of America team (P.O.A) that Syd created. He is smart, funny, and always ready to embark on a new adventure with Syd and the other members of the team. He is often the first one to come up with things to do on the weekends.

Ralph - once a Robin Hood-type thief who desperately wanted recognition from the higher-ups in ETHS. He purposely stole from bullies in order to create a name for himself as well as get back at them for picking on the weak. He eventually becomes a member of the P.O.A. clique that Syd created because of his strong sense of justice.

Veronica - one of Jennifer's friends who made it clear through her attitude and actions from day one that she didn't like Syd or any of his friends. She is described by Syd to be snotty, arrogant, and devious. She later does everything in her power, along with her group of friends, to break up Syd and Jennifer's relationship. Ironically though, it was Veronica's happenstance contacting of Allen that led to Syd and Jennifer first meeting each other.

Melissa - Jennifer's lifetime best friend, who proves to be Syd's worst enemy in the future. In the beginning she pretends to care about Syd, treating him with love and kindness while she worked from the shadows, scheming and defaming Syd's name with rumors at Niles North High School. She manipulated Veronica as well as Coretta and the rest of Jennifer's friends into hating Syd for no apparent reason, other than her belief that Syd was a low class dog, who constantly got in-between her friendship with Jennifer. The rumors Melissa secretly spread are the main reason's why Jennifer didn't believe Syd in the end, which lead to their break up.

Coretta - one of Jennifer's fierce friends. She views Syd as low-class, and believes he doesn't deserve to be with her friend. She, along with Veronica, came up with a way to keep Jennifer away from Syd for a short while. Later on Mike, due to Jason's lust for revenge, decides to strike back at Coretta for the things she's done. Mike pretends to like Correta, only so her attention would be diverted away from Jennifer long enough for Syd to freely progress his relationship with her.

Mrs. Bee - Sydney and Jason's neighbor growing up, who spotted them a ride to school when need-be, as well as a faceful of delicious pastries.

Mrs. Merlyn - Sydney and Mike's sixth grade teacher, who nearly found out Sydney's secret, being his home life abuse.

Mitch- in elementary school, the kid who upon insulting Sydney and getting into a confrontation with him, punches out Sydney, causing him to black out and go to the nurse's office. Later on it is uncovered that Mitch was attacked in the school bathroom...by Jason.

Ray - is a kid who lives on the cold hard streets of Howard, battling to survive and seemingly with a hopeless future. Through him Jason and Sydney learn an unforgettable life lesson.

Officer Ricardo - the police officer of "The Hard Goodbye", who altered Syd's life forever when in the aftermath of Sydney's fight with his mother, he was able to set Sydney free from his mother's place and enable him to live with his father, although he would have to leave Jason and Danielle behind to endure the nightmare with Mother without him.

Winston - a friend of Jennifer's who tried to be more than a friend with her, in the very middle of Syd's relationship with her, and then again towards the end of their relationship.

Beth - Jason's first real girlfriend, who also happens to be Melissa's cousin. Long after Jason and her broke up, Syd has an important encounter with Beth, towards the end of his relationship with Jennifer, in which he learns key information about Melissa and her role in his and Jennifer's relationship's problems.

Marina - once a serious girlfriend of Mike, who he really liked but struggled to remain faithful to and not hurt her. At Sydney's urging, Mike buys Marina a promise ring for Christmas, and through the experience learns an important life lesson about unselfishness.

Cynthia - a friend of Marina's who Mike suggested that Sydney try to get romantically involved with despite knowing that at the time Sydney was still very happily and seriously dating Jennifer. This was a sign of the state of Mike's heart, how much he had fallen away from the beloved Mike that Syd first befriended in 6th grade.

[edit] Themes

Character development -

Survival -

Pain and Suffering -

The nature of human personality and society -

Revenge -

Friendship -

Honesty -

Hope -

Love -

Repentance -

Forgiveness -

Faith -

[edit] Trivia

  • Syd the Kid was created in order to reach out to Jennifer and Jason.
  • Due to its length, Syd the Kid was at a time planned to be printed in 2 volumes: Syd the Kid: Fight for the Future (volume 1) and Syd the Kid: Nothing's Perfect (volume 2). Volume 1 was would have explained the author's past while living with his mother, while the volume 2 would have focused on his life after living with his mother. However, due to the author not believing that people would read two of his books (primarily Jason and Jennifer), he decided to make one massive book that spanned over 720 pages.
  • There are 35 "stories", or chapters, which together make up the greater, overall story of the book as a whole. Each individual story is a significant episode from Syd's life, and could very well stand on its own as an independent story, albeit the greater context would be absent.
  • The entire book was created in under 7 months, without professional assistance.
  • Most of the chapter titles were taken from things that the author loved, primarily anime names and and video games. For example: Chapter 33, "The Tragic Love Song of Destiny", shares the name of an Inuyasha (an anime) episode title.
  • Three chapters were cut from the book due to its length: "Premature Adventures", "We're Stranded in Winnetka", and "Don't Trip Chocolate Chip".
  • "Don't Trip Chocolate Chip" was originally going to explain more about Jennifer's past. But due to the chapter revealing too much about Jennifer, the author and editors decided to remove it from the book in case of legal issues, and out of respect for Jennifer.
  • Chapter 1, "The Monkey's Moon", occurs chronologically (nearly a year later) after the final chapter.
  • In Chapter 28, "If You Want Peace, Prepare for War", Jennifer takes a picture of Sydney while he's on a Lake Michigan beach in Evanston. That same picture is used for the front cover of the book.

[edit] References

[edit] External links