Stone louse

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The stone louse (Petrophaga lorioti, in German Steinlaus) is a fictitious animal created by German humorist Loriot to parody nature documentaries. It was primarily featured in a video sketch, as well as being a fictitious entry in the German medical encyclopedic dictionary Pschyrembel Klinisches Wörterbuch.

Stone Louse

The common stone louse

Conservation status

NotEvaluated

Scientific classification

Domain:	Eukaryota
Kingdom:	Animalia
Subkingdom:	Metazoa
Phylum:	Fictional Animals
Subphylum:	Humoranimalia
Class:	Humoranimalia perfecta
Order:	Fictional Rodents (Rodentia inexistia)
Family:	Lapivoridae
Genus:	Lapivora
Species:	Stonelouse (Petrophaga)
Subspecies:	real stone louse (Petrophaga lorioti)

1 Characteristics
2 Publication in Pschyrembel
3 Stone louse infection and treatment
4 External links

[edit] Characteristics

The stone louse is described as a rodent-like mite in the order "Fictional Rodents", between 20 and 24 mm in length. Its 1976 "discovery" by Loriot parodied the works of German zoologist and documentary filmmaker Dr. Bernhard Grzimek (ARD, 20.47-51).^[clarify] It is said to consume about 28 kilograms of stone per day, depending on the density and tastiness of said stone.

In the TV documentary the shy rodent is shown at lunch in its natural habitat. The small clip brought the "possierlichen kleinen Nager" (endearing little rodents), as Loriot called it, to the attention of modern science.

[edit] Publication in Pschyrembel

In 1983 the clinical dictionary Pschyrembel, from German scientific publisher Walter de Gruyter, contained information about the stone louse for the first time in printed form. The short article is thought^{[citation needed]} to be based mainly on Loriot's TV documentary.

Extending Loriot's parody, the Pschyrembel informs about the louse's value in fighting bladder, gall and kidney stones. The subspecies gallstone louse and kidney stone louse are mentioned only briefly due to "lack of further scientific data".

In the 257th edition of the Pschyrembel, the authors were a little sceptical about the information's authenticity^{[citation needed]} and omitted the article. The following edition, in 1997, featured it again due to protests from readers.^{[citation needed]}

Recently-found insights found their way into this new version, which even speculated about the stone louse's participation in the fall of the Berlin Wall, since the wall was mainly placed in areas "commonly inhabited by the stone louse". That theory was reinforced by discoveries that the stone louse might have been used by the Spartans to bring down the ancient Athenians' Long Walls. Other hypotheses connect the stone louse with the end of the Stone Age.

The Pschyrembel denies that the stone louse has become extinct, and refers to recent "sightings" by a local expert on stone lice, "Dr. Schlereth", at construction sites in Kronach, Bavaria.

The 260th and (as of 2007) most recent edition extends the article even further, referring to results in homeopathic medicine.

All or part of this article may be confusing or unclear.
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[edit] Stone louse infection and treatment

This article or section describes a work or element of fiction in a primarily in-universe style.
Please rewrite this article or section to explain the fiction more clearly and provide non-fictional perspective.

Although most stone lice prefer a variety of stone, some nomad strains are known to find temporary hosts in humans. These rare cases are usually treated using sediment lotions at health resorts near the Alps or the Zugspitze. Treatments usually take 8-9 days, or 4-5 days using an experimental treatment using additional administrations of songs featuring the Rolling Stones.^{[citation needed]}