Speed 3

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“Speed 3”
Father Ted episode
Episode no.	Season 3 Episode 3
Written by	Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Directed by	Andy DeEmmony
Guest stars	Pat Laffan (Pat Mustard) John Rogan (Mr. Fox) Eamon Morrissey (Father Beeching) Arthur Mathews (Father Clarke) Gail Fitzpatrick (Mrs. Millet)
Original airdate	27 March 1998
Episode chronology ← Previous Next → "Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep" "The Mainland"
List of Father Ted episodes

"Speed 3" is the 3rd episode of the third series of Channel 4 sitcom Father Ted and the 20th episode overall. It is an obvious parody of the film Speed.

[edit] Synopsis

The episode begins with Ted and Dougal returning to the parish from the Annual Baby of the Year Competition. Ted is extremely unhappy with Dougal, as Dougal got overexcited running around with the babies, and he vomited all over Ted. They also express their bewilderment at how many "hairy" babies there were at the competition. During Ted's explanation about the redundancy of shaving babies he trips on a brick that Mrs Doyle has placed in the centre of the floor, having apparently seen the idea in a magazine.

Mrs Doyle shrieks, interrupting Ted mid rant and flees from the living room to the kitchen having spotted something out of the window. Ted and Dougal comment on Mrs Doyle's garish appearance, wearing make up and bright periwinkle blue attire. Dougal commenting on whether it is in fact Mrs Doyle. The scene cuts to the outside of the house where the new milk man, Pat Mustard, a self-styled "gorgeous" former Mr Universe (this may just be exaggeration by the infatuated Mrs Doyle), has just pulled up. Mrs Doyle introduces him to Father Ted in the kitchen.

Father Ted discovers he has been "making hairy babies" with the women on his rounds (photos show babies with mustaches and sideburns) Mustard is sacked, and Dougal takes over his job. However, Mustard plots revenge against Dougal. He fits his milkfloat with a bomb, in comic reference to the Speed films. The bomb becomes activated once the milkfloat reaches 4 mph, and Ted, assisted by Father Beeching and Father Clarke, has to devise a way of rescuing Dougal from an untimely end. Saying Mass, a feat achieved by mounting an altar on a trailer attached to the back of a tractor, fails to help the hapless Dougal and watching The Poseidon Adventure, on the grounds that Gene Hackman plays a priest in it, doesn't help either. In the end, the innovative use of the brick that Mrs Doyle had left lying around (which Father Jack had subsequently adopted as a pet) provides Dougal with the means to escape from the milkfloat - which returns to its former owner with literally explosive consequences.

[edit] External links

• "Speed 3" on the IMDB

v • d • e Father Ted Main characters: Father Ted Crilly | Father Dougal McGuire | Father Jack Hackett | Mrs. Doyle Supporting characters: Bishop Brennan | Father Noel Furlong | Father Larry Duff | Minor characters Episodes : Series 1: Good Luck, Father Ted | Entertaining Father Stone | The Passion of St Tibulus | Competition Time | And God Created Woman | Grant unto Him Eternal Rest Series 2: Hell | Think Fast, Father Ted | Tentacles of Doom | The Old Grey Whistle Theft | Song for Europe | The Plague | Rock-a-Hula Ted | Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading | New Jack City | Flight Into Terror Christmas special: A Christmassy Ted Series 3: Are You Right There, Father Ted? | Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep | Speed 3 | The Mainland | Escape from Victory | Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse | Night of the Nearly Dead | Going to America Crew Graham Linehan | Arthur Mathews | Andy DeEmmony | Declan Lowney Other & Related Pages Craggy Island | Rugged Island | "My Lovely Horse" | Feck | Ted Fest