User:Somnabot/Buried/Sandbox5

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[edit] Mile Deep and a Foot Wide (Weeds episode)

[edit] Plot

Template:Spoiler In a city Park, Nancy meets with Heylia and Vaneeta. Nancy is instructed to sit down on the bench behind Heylia and Vaneeta. Heylia explains that she wouldn't want the men parked on the street to see Nancy speaking with them. Heylia is being watched following the uneventful raid of her house. Heylia mocks Nancy for not being in the same situation. Heylia cites Nancy's marriage to Peter, and goes on to mention the arrest of the Armenians. Nancy responds that she "had no choice," and she notes that she warned Heylia of the raid in advance. Heylia laughs at her, and begins to discuss her finances. Without selling marijuana, Heylia has no income. Nancy offers her help. Heylia explains that she feels Nancy is responsible for taking away her livelihood, and then explains that help will not compensate for what Nancy did. Vaneeta instructs Nancy to speak with Peter, and "do whatever it takes." Heylia and Vaneeta then begin to infer that Nancy will "disappear" if she does not make right the situation. "Those poor little boys, loosing both their parents, ain't that something?" Heylia teases. Nancy asks them to stop. Heylia responds by saying she will "stop everything." She knows where Nancy grows, and she knows where Nancy lives. Nancy and Conrad are on the clock to make everything right with Heylia.

At the DEA office, Peter speaks with his boss Captain Till. The captain explains that he couldn't stop laughing while reading Peter's report about the raid at Heylia's House. He insists that he's going to laminate the report, put it on his office wall, and reflect on it every time he himself has a bad day. He mocks Peter by asking where his next "big bust" will be: "Our Lady of the Crack Pipe or Temple Beth-Meth?" Peter explains that his serveillance is continuing, and that he still has wiretaps in place. The captain sarcastically asks if Peter is waiting for the Heylia's food stamps to run out. Peter asks for leniency, and explains that Heylia is "an open door to U-turn. The captain instructs Peter to "wrap it up," and then excuses him from his office.

Doug and Celia sneak off together to a local motel. Lying in bed, Celia informs Doug that her husband, Dean had forgotten about their 17 year anniversary. She asks Doug how long he has been married. Doug doesn't know exactly, and explains that he's not very good with numbers, although he is an accountant. Celia exclaims that she is "seized with guilt" and asks doug if he too is seized. The two begin to have the loudest, and possibly the most invigorating sex of their lives. Sitting on top of Doug, Celia begins to bark like a dog. Doug exclaims "Good girl!" over and over. Afterwards, Celia and Doug discuss the shame of their affair, and how they expect their families to react if it was ever to become more than an affair. They both agree that it would destroy their families and children. They begin to have loud invigorating sex again. Doug lies on top of Celia, as she lies face down.

Back at the grow house, Nancy discusses the Heylia situation with Conrad. She explains that Peter wants Heylia imprisoned, and Nancy out of business. Yet Heylia wants Peter to disappear. She then explains that her secret occupation has affected her children as well. Silas wants to skip college to join the business, and Nancy fear that Shane may know what she does. She feels ashamed. Conrad explains that Nancy needs to relax, and shows her how to message a pressure point in her hand to relax. He then explains that she has been reacting to everything, rather than planning a course of action. He tells nancy that she has dug herself into a hole "a mile deep, and a foot wide" for which the episode is titled. He then introduces his plan: Nancy tells Peter she loves him, and that she is going to quit the business after the upcoming harvest. Peter can then arrest Heylia, and Conrad can take the grow house equipment and disappear. By following his plan, issues between Peter and Nancy will be resolved, Nancy will have her money, and everything will work out. Conrad then asks Nancy if she loves "Agent Wonderbread" (Peter). Nancy replies that she doesn't know.

Later, Nancy meets with Peter and explains that she wishes to retire because "the hours suck, there's no health insurance, and it's a bad job for a danger junky." Peter can't believe it, and is skeptical. To relieve his skepticism, Nancy asks Peter to eat dinner with her family. Peter is reluctant over Silas and Shane. Nancy assures him that everything will be fine. Peter considers her proposal, and repeats "Heylia walks, and Conrad leaves." Nancy assures him that they can "make a go of it," and instructs him to accept her dinner invitation and to bring a toothbrush. Peter asks whether he's spending the night. Nancy smiles. Later that evening, Nancy explains to Silas, Shane, and Andy, that Peter is her boyfriend, and that he makes her happy. Silas sarcastically notes the word "boyfriend." Andy questions Nancy over Peter's occupation. Nancy assures Andy that Peter works for their safety. Nancy then explains that Peter has been invited to their next dinner, and she expects everything to go over smoothly. Shane asks if he may invite Gretchen to the dinner. Nancy says yes. Nancy explains that she will need Andy to cook Spanish pyaya. Andy protests, but then agrees. Then the doorbell rings. Nancy answers the door to meet a young woman named Kat. Kat seems to know Nancy, and comes across as being a little insane. Nancy is confused. Kat invites herself into the Botwin home in search of Andy. Andy begins to choke on his pyaya. Kat smells like fish, but still manages to walk up to Shane and hug him. Shane asks Kat if she is "that crazy chick from Alaska" who tried to kill Andy. Kat answers "yes." Andy stops choking as Kat explains she has been driving for 47 hours, and eatten and drank nothing but sockeye salmon and Red Bull the entire time. Andy asks how she found him. She replies that she read about his toe accident online. She then expresses a desire to rekindle their relationship.

That night, Dean and Celia lay in bed together reading separate books. Dean asks how her day was. Celia replies that it was fine. Dean discusses recent events in Isabelle's modelling career, and then discusses his day. He mentions that he stopped by Doug's office in an attempt to "patch things up," but he wasn't in. Celia then suggests to Dean that they talk. Before they talk, Dean pulls a little black box from his bedside drawer, and gives it to Celia. Celia opens it to find a silver or white gold bracelet. Dean happily asks if she thought he had forgotten their anniversary. She admits that she had, and thanks him for the gift before rolling over on her side to sleep. She turns out the light, and after a few seconds, Dean asks "anything for me?"

At an old fashioned diner, Kat introduces Andy to the book she is writing. She explains that it is about the time she and Andy's time in Alaska. She explains that he may not like all of it, and that when her Eskimo boyfriend read the transcript he decided to kill Andy. However, she instructs Andy not to worry because she ditched him in Bakersfield, California. Upon hearing this, Andy notices a big Eskimo man standing in the diner staring at them. He asks if the man is Kat's Eskimo boyfriend. Kat denies that he is, and explains that the boyfriend is much bigger than that Eskimo man. She then informs Andy that she will need Andy to sign a paper releasing all rights to the story, so that it may be published. Kat then explains that her Eskimo boyfriend is a premature ejaculator, and that she wants to have sex with Andy in the back of her van. Andy eventually agrees, and the van begins to shake back and forth in the handicapped parking space in front of the Diner.

Back at the motel room, Celia is sitting on top of Doug, who is lying on his back. Celia reflects on when she "stopped loving Dean." She then explains that the only reason they remain together is the children. She plans to divorce Dean when Isabelle graduates. Doug interrupts by asking Celia to turn on the TV. The TV is set to a Spanish language station airing a Novella. During a commercial break, the Huskeroo's commercial starring Isabelle plays in Spanish. Doug sings along to the Huskeroo's theme song as Celia becomes upset. To change the topic, Celia tells Doug that she has video tapes they can watch. Doug expresses his interest in watching the tapes.

Back at the Botwin house, Nancy assures Gretchen's parents over the phone that she will have Gretchen home by 9:00 PM. Silas walks in. Nancy explains that dinner is late because Andy failed to do the cooking. Peter explains that he is making it himself. Nancy asks Silas to help. Silas questions why Nancy is dressed the way she is. Nancy brushes the question aside. Silas informs Peter and Nancy to call him when the food is ready.

As Shane walks Gretchen to dinner, Grethen questions Shane about Peter. Shane explains that Peter is his mother's boyfriend. Gretchen explains that her mother too has a boyfriend, and that her parents are separated. Her dad has an apartment, and she sees him on weekends. Shane asks gretchen how that is. Gretchen replies that she goes to the movies, and minigolf with her father, and that he constantly apologises to her during their time together. Shane then points out that Gretchen stepped on a crack in the sidewalk. Gretchen's "punishment" is to recite the alphabet backwards. Gretchen obliges her punishment. Kat's van is seen in the background rocking back and forth.

At dinner, Shane notes that the pyaya isn't as good as the night before. Andy notes that "the trick to pyaya" is that the cook has to watch it closely otherwise it "turns into a sticky lump of crap." nancy scolds Andy for not upholding his commitment to cook it, and congratulates Peter on his first attempt to cook pyaya. Nancy then offers Gretchen another helping. Gretchen thanks Nancy but turns down her offer. Nancy then asks Silas to remove his elbows from the table. Peter tries to apologize for interrupting "Judahfest", the celebration of Nancy's dead husband's birthday. Silas rudely scolds Peter. Nancy scolds Silas, and asks him again to remove his elbows from the table. Peter continues with his apology, and informs Silas and Shane that he respects the memory of Judah. Silas rudely states that he "has heard the speech 'I'm not here to replace him, I'm just here to sleep with your mom.'" Peter reacts by throwing Silas' left elbow off the table. Everybody at the table is surprised. Peter asks Silas to "show some respect" for Nancy, and remove his elbows when he is asked. Silas exclaims "are you going to let him do that" to Nancy. Nancy apologizes to Gretchen. Silas becomes infuriated, and yells about the dinner before leaving the table. Peter informs Silas that he "needs some boundries." Silas bears his middle finger in Peter's face. Nancy declares that dinner is over, and orders Silas to his room, and Andy to drive Gretchen home. Silas explains that Andy is too stoned to drive, and that he will take Gretchen. Nancy disagrees, and Peter offers to take her home. Gretchen exclaims that she doesn't know Peter, and that she would rather go with Silas. Nancy offers to take her. Shane notes that Nancy has had too much to drink, and apologizes. Nancy agrees, and allows Silas to drive Gretchen. Shane apologizes to Peter for his remarks regarding his cooking. Andy leaves to feed the cat.

Back at their motel room, Doug and Celia watch the videos recorded from the anti-drug cameras. A group of teenagers through The finger. Celia explains that the Police don't have the time or resources to watch the tapes, and that she does it. They then fast forward to a man riding a Segway naked. Doug recognizes the man and asks Celia about it. Celia responds that the man does this every night at 10:00 PM. She is amazed nobody has complained yet. Realizing what time it is, Celia gets ready to leave. She mentions that "some low-life" has already stolen 2 cameras, the "Drug Free Zone" signs, and the Sasquatch costume. Doug responds by telling her that she's "pissing off" a lot of people by running her anti-drug campaign. Celia thanks Doug "for the dick."

Outside the Botwin home, Andy and Kat finalize their deal over Kat's book. Kat is amazed that Andy doesn't wish to read the transcript. Andy then tells Kat that he expects her to leave now that she has his signature. Kat doesn't want to leave, and explains that the book is being published as fiction. She only came to "save" Andy, not to acquire a release signature.

While Peter is in the bathroom, Nancy lights a series of candles, and tucks away all of her pictures of Judah. Waiting for Peter to come out, she sits at the foot of the bed, and messages the pressure point in her hand Conrad taught her to. Peter comes out and asks if Nancy is "OK." The two situate themselves, and get into bed. Nancy asks that Peter be quiet. The two begin to kiss, but are interrupted when Nancy asks Peter why he "did that thing to Silas' elbow. In the next scene, Peter leaves Nancy's house. nancy expresses that she wants to love him, but that it would not be appropriate that night due in part to the events over dinner. Peter discusses his opinion that the decision was rushed. Nancy assures him that it will work out. They kiss, and then Peter leaves.

Blowing out candles and resituating her pictures, Nancy calls Conrad. Conrad is at the grow house. Nancy explains that Conrad's plan didn't work out, and that they still have problems. Conrad asks what happened. Nancy explains that Peter walked out her door five minutes before, and that she never wants him to return. Conrad asks what she did to him. Nancy explains that she forgot herself.

Parked along the curb, Peter sits in his truck listening into their conversation. Nancy tells Conrad that Peter is not her husband, and that she will never love him. Conrad explains that Nancy needs to "play" Peter for a little while longer, and assures her that everything will be fine. The two refer to Peter as "Agent Wonderbread." Peter is upset.


[edit] Trivia

  • The 2 agents watching Heylia drive a black Chevrolet Impala. Their names are Mike and Robby.
  • Heylias full name is "Heylia Turner James"
  • The motel Doug an Celia sneak away to is named the Apache Motel. The sign outside the motel states "Free Showtime" above "Vacancy" and "Color TV."
  • Silas wears a Rocky Horror Picture Show T-shirt.
  • Kat explains that she had driven 1211 miles from Alaska to Agrestic.
  • Kat found the article about Andy's toe accident through Google.
  • It is inferred that Agrestic is located in Fresno, California.
  • Kat drives a beaten, old blue and white Ford Econoline from the 1980's.
  • Kat's book is titled ""Permafuck": A Journal of spirit Rape by Kat"
  • The last time Andy and Kat had sex was on April 28, 2005 at 5:26PM in the women's bathroom of the Deer Mountain Tribal Hatchery located in ketchikan, Alaska.

[edit] Guest stars

[edit] Yeah, Just Like Tomatoes (Weeds episode)

[edit] Plot

Template:Spoiler This episodes of Weeds begins the day after the last episode left off. At the Botwin home, Kat practices Yoga as Shane questions her motives. Nancy interrupts to ask Kat to leave. Kat snaps back "Are you attracting lesbian vampires? Pussycat have a nosebleed? Big Red? Shark week? Aunt Ruby in town?" Nancy informs Kat that she is not having her period, and expresses her disgust. Silas walks in after spending the night out. Nancy takes his car keys and asks where he was. Silas replies that he would rather stay out all night than listen to his mother having sex with Peter in the next room. Shane explains that he knows nothing happened because Peter left after 15 minutes. Silas jokes that Nancy is "the fastest gun in the West]]. Shane responds "Shark week." Nancy scolds both Silas and Shane as the doorbell rings. Nancy answers the door to find Peter with a bag of oranges. He presents the oranges to Nancy, and explains that he felt bad about what had happened the night before with Silas. Nancy is very agreeable, but expresses that she believes they are in their "adjustment period." Peter asks if she is comfortable with where they are in the relationship. Nancy says she's "feeling great!" Peter then asks how long it will be before Nancy retires and he has her all to himself. Nancy answers "soon," and invites Peter in to have some fresh squeezed orange juice. Peter turns down the offer bluntly, and walks away.

Back at the same motel, Doug and Celia are having sex again. Celia has a riding crop with which she strikes Doug over and over during sex. Celia exclaims that they can't keep doing what they are doing. Doug agrees, and suggests that Celia changes positions. Celia explains that she meant they can't keep sneaking around the backs of the people they don't love. In the room next to theirs, a Spanish speaking couple are having vigorous sex too. They are making loud noises, and shaking the wall. Celia tells Doug she finds that "so fucking hot." Doug then asks Celia if she would leave Dean. Celia reciprocates the question asking Doug if he would leave his wife Gina. They both agree that they would do so to be with eachother. Celia then tells Doug that he is "an awsome lay" as the people in the next room climax. Celia exclaims that doug has "a big boat and no lake to sail it on." Doug asks Celia to be his lake. Celia loudly exclaims "Si, Si, Si!"

Back at the grow house, Conrad discusses business with a buyer on the phone. After hanging up, he explains to Nancy that earlier that morning, their stash was valued at an estimated $300,000.00, but if they wait another week to harvest, he believes they could get about $500,000.00 for it. He then asks if Nancy believes she can "string Agent Wonderbread along for one more week." Nancy is optimistic. She then explains that Peter brought her oranges earlier that morning. Conrad assures Nancy that "what Viagra was for Pfizer, MILF Weed could be for them. Nancy agrees. At that moment, Sanjay walks in, and introduces his new Get-rich-quick scheme: a hedge fund. He explains that he's looking for investors, and then asks if they realize the amazing opportunities there are to be had in the exploitaion of emerging third world countries. Conrad counters the question by asking Snajay to explain why there are only 370 billionaires in the United States, and 40,000,000 people living below the poverty line. Nancy and Conrad leave the grow house together. Eight steps out the front door, Conrad is Pistol Whipped by Peter, and falls to the ground. Peter cocks his pistol, and points it at Conrad's head after pinning him to the ground by stepping on his chest. Peter then demands the marriage certificate from Nancy or else, he threatens, he will make Conrad "just another dead nigger drug dealer. Nancy is flustered, but claims she mailed it off. Peter sarcastically yelps "My wife!" Nancy asks why he is doing what he is doing. Peter replies "Because I'm Agent Wonderbread." Nancy and Conrad both are shocked. Then peter continues "Fuck it. Fuck the marriage certificate." He then instructs Nancy and Conrad to take their harvest, find a single buyer, make the deal, and hand over all the cash to him. He demands every last penny. He then suggests that Nancy make every effort she is capable, to ensure he never sees her again. Peter then explains that if she prefers prison to her payday, he will "take her down." He then explains that it would serve him right if he got caught in the middle. He laid everything on the line he explains to Nancy. Nancy is utterly shocked. Peter then lets Conrad go, and exclaims "See you soon!" Conrad then takes Nancy's phone and smashes it yelling "Do you hear me now mother fucker? Do you hear me?"

At the Hodes' house, Dean is asleep, but awakes to find Celia staring at him from the foot of the bed. "Did you sleep in the guest room?" Dean asks. "No." replies Celia. "Then where were you?" asks Dean. "Fucking Doug." replies Celia whimsically. She then explains to Dean that she is having an affair, and wants a divorce. Dean begins to laugh, and exclaims "It's official: you've lost your mind." Celia questions Dean, asking where he's thought she was all these nights. Dean's face drops. Dean can't believe Celia is having an affair with Doug Wilson. Celia suggests that Dean move out of the house. Dean can't believe it. Celia suggest that Dean is "so the kind of guy this stuff happens to." Dean asks who is going to tell Isabelle. Isabelle yells "I want to live with dad" from the next room. Celia and Dean are both taken back.

Working on homework with Gretchen, Shane asks how to spell hypocracy. Gretchen replies "this is boring." Nancy explains to Shane that she is going out for a couple of hours. Nancy looks very anxious as noted by Shane and Gretchen. Nancy takes a picture from above the mantle, and darts off. Gretchen states "your mom's weird." Shane replies "I know." Continuing in their work, Shane asks Gretchen how to spell Gomorrah. Gretchen replies "Who cares? Let's get drunk" as she pulls a bottle of beer from the refrigerator. Andy and Kat walk in before Gretchen can have her drink. Kat hugs Shane, and Gretchen pulls him away, puts her arm around him, and introduces herself to Kat as "Shane's girlfriend." She explains that it is their one week anniversary. Kat sarcasticlly exclaims "Oh my gosh, I am so happy for you guys. The first week is so hard, but if you haven't slept with someone else by now, it's a pretty good sign." Andy interrupts by informing Shane that Nancy asked they go to the mall to select a graduation suit. Tension builds between Gretchen and Kat as shane smiles at Kat. Gretchen states that she'll go with Shane.

Nancy tears the backing off of the picture to expose a hidden envelope addressed to the county clerk's office in Las Vegas. She quickly drops the envelope into a public mailbox. After dropping off the mail, Nancy is surprised by a large, mean looking man standing across the street from her. The man appears to be Native American, or Eskimo. The man waves his hand hello. Nancy shyly waves back. Uncomfortable, Nancy gets back in her car, and leaves. The man watches as she drives off.

Nancy goes to talk with Heylia. She explains that she doesn't need to do Heylia this favor, but that she came to her out of respect. Heylia doesn't believe it. Nancy explains that despite threatening to kill her, and orphan Sials and Shane, Heylia is the only one Nancy feels comfortable making this offer to. Heylia, in need of money, took up a job as a crossing guard. Although Heylia is still angry at Nancy, she listens to what is said. Nancy offers Heylia the entire harvest at "bargain basement prices." If she agrees to the deal, Heylia can walk away with "six months of the best shit in town." Heylia protests that she has lost her clientele, and has no use of the marijuana. Nancy agrees that Heylia can't do anything in Agrestic, but suggests that Haylia should move to Detroit where she has a sister. Heylia doesn't take to Nancy's suggestion, and argues that she will not "traffic across state lines." She also explains that it took her 20 years to build her business, and that it would be difficult just to pick it up and move away. Heylia then welcomes Nancy to the "Shaken down by a federal agent" party. Heylia then asks Nancy if Conrad sent her as a peace offering. Nancy denies the allegation. Heylia then states that Nancy and Conrad are "like the big corporations that pump toxic shit into the air and then acting all surprised when the polar ice caps melt and hurricanes drown New Orleans. Nancy responds "Fuck you, I drive a Prius." Once Nancy has left, Heylia calls Vaneeta on her cell phone to tell her that Conrad is in over her head, and that they will both soon be in jail.

At the mall, Andy and Shane are shopping for a graduation suit. Shane asks Andy if he likes Kat. Andy denies having affection. Shane then asks why Andy is with her. Andy replies "She makes me crazy, and she makes me crazy." Meanwhile, Gretchen privately asks Kat to "stop hitting on her boyfriend." Kat replies "Hold him too tight, and he'll turn to dust." Gretchen retalliates with "Bite me." Kat then offers to give Gretchen a piece of herself, and commences a catfight. Gretchen is not amused. Back to Andy and Shane, Andy explains that "it's all fucked up" before showing Shane a scar on his side. He explains that Kat stabbed him with an icicle when she thought he had kicked one of her "spirit animals." Shane asks what a spirit animal is. Andy doesn't know, but he lets shane know it cost him 10 stitches to repair the stab wound. He then explains that when he's with Kat, he feels alive. Then Kat runs up and tells Andy they should leave the mall. Her Eskimo Ex-boyfriend is staring at them through the mall window. Andy remarks that he is big, and scary.

Heylia, worried about the situation, visits the Armenian Drug Lord that was arrested by Peter for having three grow houses near Nancy. He asks who she is. Heylia introduces herself as a business woman. He asks what she wants. She reponds "Something you want." The Armenian seems interested.

Not being successful with Heylia, Nancy and Conrad go to see U-turn. He is playing basketball with his friends. Acting tough, U-turn tells Conrad to "loose the shirt". Conrad obliges, and begins to play ball. While playing, Conrad discusses his intentions with U-turn. He wants to sell his entire harvest. U-turn aggresively accepts Conrad's offer as one of his friends talks to Nancy. The friend wants to know why "bitches" have him "so fucked up and crazy and shit." Nancy doesn't know, and attempts to avoid the question. The friend then explains that an ex-girlfriend of his tried to light him on fire. Nancy asks why. The thug explains that he got with his girlfriend's sister. Nancy tries to explain that lighting him on fire must have been a reaction to him sleeping with her sister. Then he explains that the sister gave him crabs]. Back to U-turn and Conrad, the price is set at $300,000. U-turn asks "why so cheap?" Nancy exclaims "we like you" and then she asks "are you in?" U-turn replies "yes." They make plans to finish the deal the next day, and dap on it. U-turn then expresses a sexual interest in Nancy, and discusses her with his friend Marvin. They conclude that Conrad ands Nancy must be lovers. Afterwards, U-turn expresses his intention to Marvin to steal the harvest. He states that "we got guns... what army do they got?"

Doug, having rented the motel room for the day, meets with Celia to discuss the breaking up of their marriages. Doug asks if Dean "freaked out." Celia explains his reaction, and then asks how Doug's wife, Gina, took it. Doug explains that she would have been devastated. Celia becomes upset that Doug didn't fulfill his end of the deal. Doug tries to explain that it is for the best, as Celia lights up a cigarette. She takes two puffs, and puts it out on Doug's hand. Celia is infuriated.

Nancy calls Peter to arrange a meeting between herself and him to seal at 3:00 PM the following day to seal the deal he had presented. Peter demands that Conrad come to the meeting as well. Nancy asks why, and Peter responds "It just wouldn't be any fun without him." They agree to meet, and Nancy declares that they need to "get lost" before the meeting. Then Nancy realizes that she needs to be available for Shane's graduation. Nancy tells Conrad to leave town. She will stay for the deal and the graduation. For the first time in the series, Nancy and Conrad kiss. Conrad instruct Nancy to consider relocating herself. Walking out of the grow house, Conrad expresses rage.

Back at the Hodes' house, Celia returns to find Dean loading luggage bags. Celia picks on him for being a drama queen]. Dean asks if she was serious about what she had said. Celia replies "No." Then Dean asks if she was serious about having an affair with Doug. Celia is truthful and admits to having the affair, but claims to be "over it." Dean disagrees, and expresses that it is not he who will leave the house, it is Celia. He then kicks her out of his house, and throws her her car keys through the door. Dean bids Celia goodbye.

Nancy introduces the idea of moving to Shane and Silas. Andy realizes that there may have been complications in her relationship with Peter. Kat disagrees, and Nancy has Andy take Kat to her van. On the way to the van, Kat confesses that the Eskimo man following her is not really her boyfriend, it is a bounty hunter. Andy is unhappy, but accepting. Silas, Shane and Andy all understand Nancy's circumstance. Shane for the first time confronts Nancy about dealing drugs. Nancy is up front about it, and explains that she grows and sells marijuana. She tries to explain that it is organic, therapeutic, and of the earth like tomatoes. Thios line is for which the episode is named. Silas declares "Fuck this, and runs to his room. Nancy grabs an ax, and breaks the door to Silas' room down. Inside, she finds the anti-drug cameras, ani-drug signs, and the Sasquatch costume. Silas is the "low life hooligan" Celia had described.

[edit] Trivia

  • Conrad states that there are only 370 billionaires in the United States. In reality, there are 371.
  • When asked how he knew there were 370 Billionaires, and 40,000,000 people below the poverty line, Conrad answers "The Daily Show."
  • Celia suggests that Dean move into the Oakwood Hotel in Burbank, California.
  • Nancy mails an envelope to "Marriage Bureau; County Clerk's Office; P.O. Box 551603; Las Vegas, NV 89155-1603" This is actually the correct address to obtain copies of a marriage license.
  • The public mailbox Nancy drops her marriage certificate into is located in front of a house with the address 12159. The house is located on a corner.
  • Nancy and Conrad's harvest equals to about 38 pounds.
  • This episode marks the first time Nancy and Conrad kiss.
  • The closing track of this episode is "You Look Like A Gorilla" by The Mopes.

[edit] Guest stars

[edit] Corn Snake (Weeds episode)

[edit] Guest Stars

[edit] A.K.A. The Plant (Weeds episode)

[edit] Guest Stars

[edit] Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood (Weeds episode)

[edit] Guest Stars

[edit] Trivia

  • [[Megan uses UP.T pregnancy tests.

[edit] Must Find Toes (Weeds episode)

[edit] Guest Stars

[edit] Crush Girl Love Panic (Weeds episode)

[edit] Plot

Template:Spoiler While attempting to coax Silas from his room, Nancy receives a call from Conrad. Conrad is worried, and asks Nancy to go with him into the grow house. Nancy asks why, and Conrad explains that the DEA raided some nearby houses, and he senses there is something wrong with the grow house. Nancy agrees to meet Conrad. At the grow house, Nancy and Conrad find a mess, and no one tending to it. Chairs are toppled, and plants are spilled. A bush of plants are in the toilet. Worried that Sanjay is in jail, Nancy calls his cell phone. To their surprise, Sanjay's phone begins to ring in a closet. Nancy opens the door, to find a terrified Sanjay. He is relieved to see that the people who opened the door are nancy and Conrad rather than Dea agents. He asks them to hold on while he sees who's calling him. He answers the phone, and Conrad grabs Nancy's phone to yell "What the fuck happened?" into the phone. Sanjay explains that he and Andy thought they were being busted, and tried to flush the marijuana down the toilet. Conrad scolds Sanjay. Sanjay doesn't know where Andy is. He explains that he last saw Andy yelling "Out of my way brownie!" before running off. Conrad asks where the mother plant is. Sanjay explains that Andy had it last, and then asks Nancy if he may leave. Nancy tells him to go home. Andy is found huddled in a utility closet, and has the mother plant. Andy is not terrified, but relieved to see that there was no raid on the house. Conrad is extremely upset to learn that Andy urinated on the mother plant in an attempt to provide it nourishment. Andy attempts to explain that urine has nitrogen in it. Conrad angerly explains that the concentration of nitrogen in urine is too strong to be useful to a plant. Conrad goes to clip some clones to try and get the grow house back in operation. Andy speaks his mind in saying that he's happy not to be in jail. Nancy scolds Andy and suggests that everything was fine until he trashed the house. Conrad suspects that Nancy isn't being up front with him.

On the set of Isabelle's Huskeroo's commercial, Dean compliments the work of her hairdresser. Then Celia shows up, much to the dismay of Isabelle and Dean. Celia begins to insult Isabelle and Dean before instructing the hairdresser how to do her Isabelle's hair. The hairdresser doesn't wish to speak with Celia, and goes to find the director of the commercial. Dean scolds Celia, inviting her to insult the person who does Isabelle's makeup as well. Celia then comments that the makeup is horribly done as well. She asks Dean "Who gives an 11 year old 'blow job lips'?" The Director approaches Celia and asks what seems to be her problem. Celia, feeling threatened, informs the director that the problem is his hair and makeup stylists are incompetent. She then goes on to ask "Why do all you gay men hate women soooo much?" The director replies "Because we have mothers like you." He then throws Celia off the set. Isabelle delights as the two exchange insults.

Attempting to drive Silas from his room, Nancy accumulates a series of musical instruments and pots with the intention of driving Silas out. Shane asks Nancy to please stop banging pots and singing "Polly Wolly Doodle". Nancy protests that she will not stop until Silas comes out, and that this is her own version of Panama. Shane asks "The canal?" Andy rushes in to explain that Nancy is not talking about the Panama Canal, but about the ousting of Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega. Andy explains that when Noriega hid in the Vatican embassy, American troops, unable to enter, blasted rock music at the building until he was driven out. Silas is Nancy's Noriega. Nancy agrees to stop, and orders Shane to goto school before he's late. Shane then asks Nancy's permission to stay after school a little while. Nancy asks why, Shane explains that he wants to join the debate team. Nancy approves. Nancy, upset that her invasion of Panama was unsuccessful, yells "Silas, what can I do to help you?" Andy and Silas both respond "buy a car."

Later, looking for a car at a used car dealership, Silas asks Nancy "How's business?" She doesn't want to talk about it. Silas mocks her, and becomes vocal about her selling drugs. He wishes to be more open about it. Silas asks if she sells anything other than marijuana. He suggests that she might sell cocaine, or meth. Nancy expresses that she feels marijuana doesn't destroy lives like coke or meth do. Then a salesman comes up, and asks what the special occasion is "...a birthday, graduation maybe?" Silas answers "My girlfriend just got an abortion." The salesman steers Silas to a BMW Z3 roadster. He preaches the benefits of a two seater to Nancy: "No back seat means no trouble!" Nancy simply denies the car to Silas. She explains that Silas is either buying a normal sedan or she's taking her drug money, and buying herself new diamond earrings and a gold tooth. Silas protests. He wants a sportscar.

At Shane's first Debate meet, The teacher is discussing what goes on in a debate, and going into the history of debate at Shane's school. Shane isn't paying attention. He only is interested in Gretchen, who is picking her teeth with a pen cap. She looks at Shane, and rolls her eyes. Shane is in love.

Much to Doug's surprise, Isabelle walks into his office. She explains that she needs someone she can trust to handle her money from the Huskeroo's commercials. She trusts Doug because he doesn't speak to or get along with Celia. Doug suggests that they put the money into a trust fund, but Isabelle will need at least one parent to sign with her. Isabelle screams "Bull shit!" Doug explains that it is the law, and there's nothing he can do about it. Isabelle swiftly chooses Dean to sign rather than Celia. Doug double checks to ensure that Celia has no clue Isabelle went to him. Isabelle assures him. To that, he offers her "a delicious crunchy."

At Andy's rabbinical school, his class practices the hora. After the dance practice is over, Andy and Yael exit the room to the hallway outside. Yael flirtatiously continues to dance and sing to herself. Andy sings along until they both break down in laughter. Yael lets her hair down, and asks Andy if he is still mad at her. Andy denies being angry, and states that he is "fine with being a friend." Yael slowly draws up her skirt to the edge of her stocking. Andy is interested. Yael slowly pulls out a small flask from her left stocking. Yael drinks from the flask, and moans slightly. Andy appears tortured, and exclaims that he must fuck her. Yael explains that Andy doesn't exhibit the qualities she looks for in a man. she likes "big men." Andy tries to compensate his lacking physical attributes. Yael informs him that he does exhibit many of the physical characteristics she looks for in a female lover, such as soft skin, and sad eyes. Andy is uneasy, but resultantly agrees to sleep with Yael. Later, in Yael's bedroom, Andy flies onto the bed as Yael tears his pants off. She undresses until she is wearing nothing but her underwear and stockings. She squats down under the bed to retrieve a box with a strapon in it. The instrument is rather large and black in color. Andy asks Yael if she can take it. Yael responds that it is not for her, and Andy's face drops. Yael rubs lubricant on it as she assures Andy that it will fit into his anus. Before throwing Andy on his hands and knees, Yael reminds him not to forget his breathing.

Meanwhile at Heylia's, Joseph, Vaneeta and Heylia are eating a meal that adheres to the strict Muslim dietary laws. Heylia is trying to impress Joseph. Joseph is very grateful for the lamb chops Heylia has cooked. Vaneeta, feeling uncomfortable with the situation, notes that she prefers pork chops instead. pork is against the religious diet Joseph upholds. Joseph explains to Vaneeta that pigs are filthy animals, and that they carry parasites causing all kinds of illness. Vaneeta dismisses what Joseph has said, and exclaims that she enjoys eating delicious parasites. Joseph is angered by her statement, and attempts to belittle Vaneeta. Vaneeta begins to attack Joseph over his religion, and "holier than thou" attitude. Joseph counters over Vanetta's tatoos, and fatherless baby. The meal is ruined, and Heylia becomes very angry with Vaneeta. Vaneeta sets Heylia straight by forcing her to contemplate her finances.

At school, Shane walks down the hall to Gretchen's side. Gretchen is opening her locker. Gretchen inquires to why Shane is standing by her. Shane sees a couple of his friends whispering and pointing. Feeling embarrassed, He kicks Gretchen on the side of her left shin. The friends lagh as Gretchen exclaims "Ouch." Shane, left with nothing else to do, runs away.

Nancy opens the door of the grow house to find Conrad spraying freshly cut "clippings." Nancy offers Conrad a drink, and asks how it is going. Conrad explains that he has cut 20 new clippings, and that they will have to see how it goes. Conrad doesn't want the drink, or the shallow praise Nancy offers. He explains that he has been thinking about how lucky they were not to have been caught with the Armenians. Nancy agrees, and expresses how lucky she feels. Conrad counters by saying he doesn't believe in luck, and then accuses Nancy of continuing her relationship with Peter. Nancy tries to explain that she is only doing it for their protection. Conrad becomes very upset, and explains that a marriage certificate doesn't protect him. It will only protect Nancy.

Walking through her house, Celia notices Dean in the atrium of the house. He is detailing a new motorcycle. Celia demands to know what is going on. Dean explains that he is cleaning his new motorcycle. He is very proud of it. Celia demands to know how he could afford a new motorcycle. Dean informs her that his new job is very lucrative. She asks what job he has taken. Smiling, Dean responds "I am Isabelle's manager." Celia is elated, and informs Dean that he is a lawyer, so he will need to "go out and find lawyer work." Celia leaves the room throwing the finger.

Later that night, Silas returns to the house. Nancy is asleep in the kitchen where she was waiting for him. Silas enters to awaken Nancy. She asks where he was. He explains that he was driving around, and enjoyed it. She looks at the clock, and surprisingly states that the time is 4:30 AM. She scolds him, he apologizes, and then Nancy goes to bed. Before she leaves the room, Silas tells her that he "is cool with" what she does.

As Doug sits in his office watching a video clip over and over again, Celia bursts in. She displays a picture of Doug using a bong. She attempts to blackmail him into releasing Dean from Isabelle's trust fund, and replacing him with herself. She explains that Doug sent the picture to Dean as a joke,and then threatens to email it to anybody she can. She suggests that Doug could loose the election, and possibly even be arrested. Doug explains that Isabelle instructed him to setup the trust as it is, and that he can't double cross her orders. Celia is surprised, but attempts to act as though she is in control. Doug then informs Celia that Isabelle, as well as himself hate Celia. He then laughs her out of his office.

Peter walks into a restaurant to meet Nancy. The greeter instructs him to be seated in the waiting area. Peter sits down next to Conrad. As each of the men casually look at each other, neither imagines that they are waiting for the same lady. When Nancy walks in, both Conrad and Peter stand up. Nancy walks to the greeter, and states "table for three." At the table, Nancy explains that she had to lie to each of them in order to ensure they would arrive. She then has Peter and Conrad meet each other. Conrad attempts to cover for himself by insisting he knows nothing. Nancy explains that it is OK, and that she wants Conrad to work out his issues with Peter. She then gives Conrad the go ahead to ask peter what ever he wishes. Peter objects, but then Conrad asks why Peter is risking himself, and his career. Peter responds that he is doing it for Nancy. Peter then asks how Conrad nows Nancy. Conrad sarcastically states that her kid bit his kid at a karate tournament. Conrad then asks if the DEA is on to him. Peter says that he does not know, but that he imagines Conrad isn't big enough to be of any importance to them. Nancy clarifies that there is no trap, and that everyone needs to agree and understand each other. Then the next table breaks out in singing "Happy Birthday."

[edit] Trivia

  • This episode marks the first time Conrad meets Peter.
  • Yael wears red panties and a red bra in this episode. this episode marks the only time Yael is seen in her underwear.
  • Vaneeta has a tatoo on her left arm that reads "Zulu".
  • Dean buys himself a black Harley-Davidson Softail Deluxe.
  • The resturant Nancy, Conrad, and Peter meet at is called "Thursday's" as a play on the name "Friday's.
  • Music played in this episode includes "Od Lo Ahavti Dai" by Yehoram Gaon, "Hadera" by Alain Leroux, and "Happy Clappy Birthday" by Gwendolyn during the closing credits.

[edit] Guest Stars


[edit] Pittsburgh (Weeds episode)

[edit] Plot

[edit] Trivia

[edit] Guest Stars

Pam Heylia Vaneeta Andy Sanjay Conrad Doug Nancy Yael Celia Hodes Silas Gretchen Dean Hodes Peter Isabelle Hodes Pam Maggie Lupita Megan Joseph Page Kennedy Shane Botwin Herum Kashisian - Armenian lord