User:Somnabot/Buried/Sandbox4
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[edit] Weeds
(episode 207), Ozomatli Quinn = Haley Hudson
[edit] Trivia
- The name of Nancy and Andy's Bakery throught the first season, and into the second was "Breadsticks and Scones" before it was burnt down in episode 201.
[edit] Episode 207
Andy looses two toes to a stray dog Doug found on the street. Meanwhile, Nancy juggles coping with Andy's accident, as Silas's grades plummet and Shanes crush on Gretchen takes a new turn. Celia savors a three vote victory in the city Council elections thanks to a balloting error. Considering his new handicap, Andy reconsiders his role at the Rabbinical school, subsequently upsetting Yael. Celia announces the city's new drug-free policy.
[edit] Must Find Toes (Weeds episode)
Template:Spoiler This episodes begins with Andy bringing food to the grow house where Sanjay and Conrad are. Doug walks in holding a Pit bull. He explains that he found the dog on the street, and that it didn't have tags, just a gold necklace. Doug names the dog "Mr. Sweaters". As Andy bites into his hamburger, a portion of the condiments falls out the back, and lands on his bare foot. Mr. Sweaters jumps away from Doug's embrace, and attacks Andy's foot. Andy begins screaming for help, much to the surprise of Sanjay, Doug, and Conrad. Doug orders Sanjay to place his finger into the Mr. Sweaters' rectum, stating that he had seen on the Internet where this technique causes dogs to stop an attack. Sanjay hesitantly agrees, and places his middle finger into the dog's rectum. The Dog immediately stops attacking Andy's foot. Doug exclaims "Wow, it works." It then becomes apparent that Andy's second and middle toes have been amputated by Mr. Sweaters. Later in the episode Nancy receives a call and drives to the hospital. Andy has been treated with morphine, and continually makes statements in reference to his toes such as "Have you found my toes?" and "Must Find Toes." for which the episode is named. At the hospital Nancy meets Dr. Bertner who discharges Andy from the hospital.
Shane enters the episode wearing his father's cologne in preparation for his first debate. Nancy reams Silas over his SAT scores stating that he "couldn't get into traffic school" with such scores. Silas attempts to overt the conversation, only causing Nancy to take a stronger position. Silas ends the conversation by assessing Nancy's need for an education, and addressing her profession before driving Shane to his debate. At his first debate, Shane must debate Gretchen on the topic of the Electoral College vs. Popular vote. Abdicating the popular vote, Shane invokes the name "George W. Bush" as his argument and sits down much to the disdain of Gretchen who raises concern and forfeits the debate. On the ride back home, Silas offers shane advice on how to pursue his romantic interests in Gretchen.
Meanwhile, Celia Hodes conferres with her husband Dean Hodes the night before the upcoming election. The next day, at the election, tensions run high between Doug and Celia. As Doug enters the poll both, Celia exits with a smile. Dean asks Celia why she is smiling. Celia responds "Just wait." It is then, Doug exclaims "Where's my name? Why isn't my name on the ballot." It is immediately assumed that Celia is at fault, and doug begins to make a scene. Later, at Celia's victory party, with pam at her side, Doug calls Celia to give his concession speech. Doug, still ill-tempered over the error says nothing but "Fuck you." repeatedly. Celia revels in her win.
Nancy begins to talk to Silas again about attending college, or becoming employed. Silas is unaffected. Shane decides to quit the debate team, but needs Nancy's permission and signature to do so. When asked to sign, Nancy asks what Shane's reason is. Shane replies by saying it is personal. Silas interupts by telling Shane to just talk with Gretchen, much to Nancy's dismay. Although dismayed, Nancy attempts to comfort Shane, and offer him suggestions. Shane is not accepting of the suggestions, and shys away from further conversation.
Although just out of the hospital, Andy is still bedridden due to his foot being inoperable. Yael comes to visit Andy while is bedridden, and teasingly asks what she can do to ease his pain. Andy's only request is that they reverse their sexual roles in their relationship to a more "natural" accommodation. Yael obliges his request. Afterwards, Andy discusses his future role at the Rabbinical school. He considers the loss of his toes as a positive happening. For as long as he is handicapped, the military will not draft him for the war in Iraq. Yael is infuriated, and storms out.
After realizing his fault, Dean admits to Doug that it was his fault Doug's name was not on the ballot. Dean failed to file the proper paperwork. Doug is infuriated, and throws Dean out of his office. Afterwards, Dean returns home to Celia who informs him he is going to have to stop smoking marijuana. She announces to him that she intends to make Agrestic a drug-free zone, and advises him to warn his dealer.
As Nancy copes with what is unveiling around her, she returns to the grow house. Conrad is there, alone. They talk, discussing their differences for a couple of minutes. Conrad expresses his will to leave the group over legal worries stemming from Nancy's involvement with Peter Then, for the first time in the series, Nancy is seen smoking marijuana, though it was implied that she did at the end of the pilot episode.
[edit] Trivia
- Andy wears a shirt with the image of a police officer holding a sign that says "KEEP OFF THE GRASS".
- Mr. Weinstock is Silas' guidance councelor at school.
Marvin donovar -special guest star Meital Dohan - guest star Dave Thomas - Dr. Bertner
[edit] Last Tango in Agrestic (Weeds episode)
Template:Spoiler Episode 3 of the second season of Weeds, titled "Last Tango in Agrestic" picks up right where episode 2 left off with Nancy vomiting in response to Peter telling her that he knows she is a Drug Dealer. Peter suggests that they talk in his truck where he explains to Nancy that a "suburban widow dealing dime bags to bored housewives" is way below his radar. He likes to flatter himself in thinking he has better things to do. So Nancy and Peter decide to discuss the recent change of events over a bottle of wine. Peter explains that he has known she was a dealer from the time they first met. He had already "investigated" her, and knew many things about her including the name of her sister, Jill. Nancy, still uneasy, asks if talking over dinner is just a setup. Peter jokes back that that is how he "took down the Santiago brothers", and then explains that he is only interested in having a working relationship with Nancy. Later in the episode, Peter and Nancy fly to Las Vegas, Nevada to secretly be married. Peter marries Nancy so that he cannot be forced to testify against her, and in turn, she will trust him enough to date him.
Celia, always worried about her daughter's weight, rudely wakes her daughter Isabelle at 5:30AM proclaiming "Rise and shine little girl... Boot camp is at 6:00." Isabelle, unpleased, goes along with Celia to "boot camp" which is an early morning exercise group which meets at a local park. Celia informs Isabelle that she will be "waiting in the car." While thumbing through a magazine, and smoking a cigarette in her car, the exercise instructor, Ricardo, asks Celia to join the group. Celia rudely denies his request, but ends out participating when the instructor informs her that he is aware she is running for city council. Celia soon collapses, and proclaims "He bullied me into this." Looking for sympathy, she explains that she has gone through chemotherapy, and has low blood sugar. Much to her dismay, many of the other ladies in the group have also undergone chemotherapy, and have types 1, and 2 diabetes. Celia responds by saying "Oh, fuck you both." The women inform Isabelle that she shouldn't worry, and that her mother will be just fine. Isabell replies by saying "Please, that bitch will outlive us all." Needless to say, Celia drops out of the group.
Andy begin his studies at the Rabbinical school, and continues to make romantic advances towards Yael, the admissions director. Yeal explains that she had a lover who was killed by a Hamas [Suicide Bomb|suicide bomber]]. He was her Commanding officer in the Isreali army. Yael explains that she does not date students of the school.
Upon her return from Las Vegas, Andy, Shane and Silas all question Nancy as to where she has been and what she has been doing. Nancy keeps her little secret, although seeming flustered.
Silas gets back together with Megan, and they agree to remain together until they both must go on to college. They immediately have sex in Silas' room using a total of at least 7 condoms, finally ending in the shower, where due to clogged pipes the shower will not turn on. The pipes are clogged because Shane is flushing his socks down the toilet. A plumber Nancy hired discovered the socks, and suggests that a young son may be flushing his "jerk socks." After conferring with Lupita, Nancy decides to talk with Shane who does not appreciate discussing the "changes" his body is going through. Nancy feeling awkward about the discussion asks Andy to "talk to Shane about jerking off."
As Andy is talking with Shane, Nancy, Conrad, and Doug visit a prospective house to use for their grow house. It is in a gated community, and meets their needs exactly. The deal is made and the future grow house is secured. After securing the deal, Dean walks in and suddenly realizes who Conrad is. "You fucked my wife." Dean says. Conrad concedes, and offers Dean one free shot. Dean agrees, but demands that his free punch be exercised at his discretion.
Meanwhile, Nancy's dealer Heylia takes a romantic interest in a man named Joseph who cooks bean pies and sells them for $8.00 each. Heylia acts extremely flirtatious around joseph. Joseph is a bowtie wearing gentleman with a guarded animocity towars Nancy and Vaneeta.
Considering the amount of time they have left together, Silas uses a safe-t-pin to pierce a condom which he later uses while having sex with Megan. Meanwhile, Celia comes to talk to Nancy in hopes of recruiting Nancy for her campaign. Humorously, Celia explains that she pulled a muscle in her groin while exercising.
[edit] Trivia
- Engelbert Humperdinck sings Theme song
- Peter drives a blue Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck
- Nancy's sister is named "Jill."
- Yael's ex-lover died in a pizza parlor.
- Andy's brother, Nancy's ex-husband, was named Juda. He died of a heartattack while jogging with his youngest son Shane.
- After returning from Las Vegas, Nancy wears a shirt that says "Fear & Loathing" in reference to Hunter S. Thompson's novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
- Silas uses Trojan Extended Pleasure climax control condoms while having sex with Megan.
[edit] Guest Stars
- Ron Canada
- Meiteal Dohan
- Allie Grant
- Indigo
- Tom Keische
- Shoshannah Stern
- Renee Victor
- Andy Milder
- Martin Donovan - Special Guest Star
[edit] Cooking With Jesus (Weeds episode)
[edit] Plot
Template:Spoiler Nancy breaks things off with Peter. She calls him, and explains that she "cannot do this." She explains that she likes him, but fears loosing him to his work. Peter admits that most of what he does is a desk job, nancy responds by asking him to refrain from calling her ever again.
Celia's election campaign continues as she decides what Dean and Isabelle should wear for her campaign photo-op. Dean Asks why the family portrait isn't going to include their daughter Quinn. Celia sarcastically answers Dean, only aggitating him. He declares that he does not want to be in the photo if Celia isn't going to allow him to participate in the campaign. Dean asks "Why do you want me in the picture?" Celia reponds "Because your tie is going to match my dress." This further infuriates Dean, ending the conversation.
Meanwhile, Nancy, Dean, Sanjay, Doug, and Andy, and Alejandro meet at a local chain restauraunt to discuss the logistics of their perspective grow house operation. After breif communication about the restraunt and the ethnic employment standards of California, Dean inquires about the regularity of the name "Conrad" amoung the African American population. Nancy abruptly explains that Conrad is no longer apart of the operation. There is concern within the group that without Conrad, the grow operation may not work. Alejandro explains that "the black dude had the genetics." Nancy explains that he "wasn't prepared to take the next step." She then assures her team that they are prepared, and to everyones surprise, that she has access to the muhasky cup, a convention of marijuana growers, vendors and cloners. Nancy then assigns different tasks to each member of the team. Dean is to find a house, Sanjay researches hydroponics, and Alejandro's task is to aquire the necissary supplies (grow lights, fans, etc.) Andy remains curious as to why Conrad is no longer in the operation, and later questions her about it.
Conrad search for the funding necissary to start his own grow-operation after leaving Nancy's cartel. He meets with an old friend named Tyrel who is now a loan officer. Conrad states that the money will be used for the developement of a premium hydroponic lettuce growing company. Tyrel states that he knows the money isn't going to be used for lettuce, and denies Conrad the loan, but offers him a free calendar.
Megan gets into Princeton, but Silas disapproves by asking what happened to their plan for Silas to go to Northridge as Megan attends UCLA so that they could get an apartment together. Megan explains that those plans are off the table because Princeton is an Ivy League school. Silas explains that he can't get into Princeton because he's not Deaf. Megan states that the reason she was accepted to Princeton was because she is smart, and works hard. Silas rebuts that her disability may have helped a little. Megan storms out of the room. Later, Silas talks with Andy about Megan. Andy suggests that Silas buy a van, and move to New Jersey where he and Megan can rent an apartment together. Megan disagrees with the plan, and says no.
Afterwards, Celia visits Nancy to aquire her signature on a petition to be placed on the ballot. Lupita expresses her sympathies for Celia over the wrecking of her car. Celia responds by sking Lupita if she knows who hit her, and if it was one of Lupita's "maid friends." Lupita repsonds "I don't know, we just call each other 'maid friend.'" Celia outlines her plans to canvas for signatures, and her expectations of Nancy's help. Nancy explains that she is busy just as doug walks in. Nancy explains that they are attending a "small business expo" with doug, and Celia questions Nancy's loyalty. Although Nancy does not sign the petition, Doug does.
Doug and Andy attend the infamous muhasky cup where they introduce themselves as "the lungs of the operation." They are in search of to their own plant. All aspects of the cannabis culture are present at the expo. Doug and Andy begin to taste test various "strains" of marijuana as Reggae music plays in the background. Soon, Nancy finds the two in the womens bathroom as Andy is writing his application paper for the Rabbinical school. Doug expresses that the marijuana they just smoked was definitely "the one." Andy agrees expressing that he was inspired by it. After reading his paper, Yael permits Andy to enter the school provisionally.
Back to Conrad's pursuit of funding, he approaches another dealer named Mike. Mike expresses interest, and appreciates the quality of Conrad's Sativa indica strain. Yet he refuses to invest citing the "family problems" Conrad is having with Heylia. Conrad is not happy. Conrad then goes to a low life dealer named U-turn who agrees to the orangement, but demands that Conrad work for a 60/40 split his way. Conrad decides to think it over after witnessing U-turn stab his own cousin because "niggas don't know when to shut the fuck up." U-turn extends the offer, and says he'll be waiting.
As Celia, clad in her red dress and pearls, prepares for her photo-op, Isabelle arrives dressed in blue jeans,a chain wallet, a demin jacket, and a red bandana. Celia is upset, and explains that the picture is meant to present her as a warm and maternal public figure, "not as a poster parent for PFLAG. Isabelle explains that she doesn't want to play dressup, and that she feels the picture should be morew realistic. Celia demands that she wear the dress picked out for her, and Isabelle opts out of the photo shoot. celia will have to be photographed alone.
Back at the chain restaurant Doug hates, Alejandro announces that he has not gathered the materials, and instead has joined the Toronto Blue Jays.Nancy also announces that the plant from the Muhasky Cup has died.
Disappointed, Conrad decides to answer an instant message from Nancy asking him to meet with her. When they meet, Nancy shows Conrad her dead plant. Slowly, Nancy convinces Conrad to trust her and go back into business.
finally, Peter drops by Nancy's and - although she attempts to turn him away - he has news for her that will change everything. He knows what she does for living.
[edit] Guest starring roles
- Vincent Laresca as Alejandro
- Meital Dohan as Yael Hoffman
- Allie Grant as Isabelle Hodes
- Indigo as Vaneeta
- Page Kennedy as U-turn
- Mark Christopher Lawrence as
- Maulik Pancholy as Sanjay
- Shoshannah Stern as Megan
- Renee Victor as Lupita
- Chris Williams as Tyrel (?)
- Andy Milder as Dean Hodes
- Martin Donovan as Peter (Special Guest Star)
[edit] Trivia
- It is implied that Dean and Celia have another daughter, older than Isabelle, who refuses to communicate or live with Celia. Her name is Quinn. It is also implied that she may be overweight. This is the first time Quinn is mentioned since the episode 2 of the first season.
- Doug signs Celias partition for admittance in the election as "Mr. Fuc Kyoucson, 110 Eatshit Ln."
- Conrad introduces "his own strain" of marijuana. It is a "Sativa Indica blend F1", but conrad has "taken the mix up to an F6 on a small scale... and stabilized the genetics." The strain takes 3 months from planting to harvest, and can "grow in a sea of green. Conrad expresses that the high is cerebrially clear, yet relaxing.
- Doug expresses his disgust for chain restraunts. He rants about his hatred of chain restraunts by saying "In-n-out is indipendantly owned by religious nuts that put biblical citations of the bottoms of the cups, they don't franchise, and they use fresh ingredients. They cook with Jesus." For which this episode is named "Cooking with Jesus."
- "Tacos Guacos" restraunt is mentioned as an alternative to the chain restraunt visited in this episode.
- Doug calls Celia "cancer cunt" and Celia responds back that it is "cancer tits."
- Conrad's cell phone is a Nokia 6265i.
- Andy wears a Tshirt with the Post-WWII german flag printed on it.
- The inside of Peter's pickup truck is upholstered with black leather.
[edit] MILF Money (Weeds episode)
[edit] Plot
This episodes starts just as the marijuana plats of the grow house are about to be harvested. With Andy, Doug, Nancy, Dean and Sanjay, Conrad creates an elixir of advanced nutrients for the hydroponically grown plants which aid the plants in becoming more lush, with a reduction of stems, and an increase of leaf and bud. The plants mature, and are harvested.
In need of a buyer, Nancy and Conrad go to Snoop Dogg's Crippin' Kitchen recording studio to visit a music producer named Vernon. Nancy introduces herself to Vernon as "Lacy". Vernon expresses an interest in "Lacy", but settles for her creation instead and declares it "smokalicious." Then Snoop Dogg walks in and tries Conrad and Nancy's marijuana, and agrees that it is of good quality. Snoop Dogg names it "MILF weed", and creates a song about it. Snoop Dogg likes the "MILF weed" so much that he becomes their first customer. After leaving the recording studio, Conrad and Nancy celebrate the beginning of what is about to become an explosion in the demand for "MILF weed."
Meanwhile, Councilwoman Celia Hodes is working on an anti-drug speech she will be presenting at the local grammar school that Gretchen, Isabelle, and Shane attend. She is no longer wearing a wig, but instead dons a $500 set of dyed red hair extensions from India. She jokes that the hair carries a faint scent of curry. As a part of her anti-drug speech, she intends to introduce the mascot of her anti-drug campaign, "Sober the Sasquatch." Celia asks Dean to wear the Sasquatch costume. Dean responds by asking if she truly believes kids will actually shy away from drugs if he wears the "gorilla suit". Celia snaps back that Dean could easily fit the part if she stopped shaving his back. Dean turns her down, but wishes her luck with her speech sarcastically citing children's love of being patronized. After Dean leaves, Celia is disturbed by a ring of her doorbell. She is surprised to meet a "Dog Lady" asking why she wishes to close the "dog park." Celia informs the woman that her dogs are not "her babies", and that children need the park more than her dogs do, and that teenagers do drugs in the park after hours. The "Dog Lady" then calls Celia a hater who "is filled with hate" and spreads it around "to dogs, and teenagers." Celia informs the woman that she hates the woman because she calls her dogs children."
After their initial sale to Snoop Dogg, and a second sale to Vernon, Nancy shares her good fortune by giving everyone a little cut of the money. Dean, and Doug receive their money as well as Sanjay who receives a little extra as a thank you for the arson of the bakery. Andy doesn't receive any money because he owes Nancy for room and board, the non-refundable year of Rebinical school, the bail money from when he was arrested, and all incurred lawyers fees. Andy protests by saying that he lost toes, withstood a raid, and sat in his own urine for Nancy. Not to mention, he cooks for the "grow-group." Nobody agrees that he should be paid, so Andy quits the grow operation.
At Celias speech at the grammar school, She introduces her plan to make Agrestic a "drug free zone", and that work on the project will commence in one week. Non of the children support her, leaving no one except Principal Dodge applauding. Celia tries to remedy the situation by delivering an analogy about penguins marching "70 miles to get where they're going." She correlates the penguins to drugs traveling from the ghetto to the suburbs. Much to the humiliation of Isabelle, she states that she will be placing survaillance cameras and "drug free zone" signs throughout the community. She then invites the students to bring their parents to the unveiling of the first camera across the street from what she says will "soon no longer be the 'dog park'." Celia then introduces "Sober the Sasquatch" with Pam in the suit. The children laugh at the goofy mascot, much to Celias dismay. Shane asks why cameras will be implemented. Celia responds that "People act better when they are being watched." Shane then asks about people's right to privacy, and shames Celia for attempting to make Agrestic a police state. Shane then announces that he has seen Celia drunk at his house, and explains that she is not a "drunk and homeless penguin from the ghetto," but that she does drink, and alcohol is a drug too. The classroom becomes aroar with kids chanting the mantra "You do drugs" at Celia. Isabelle adds that "the councilwoman likes her speed and ambien. Shane earns the respect of all his classmates and more importantly, the respect of Gretchen.
Meanwhile, Nancy goes on a shopping spree buying jewelry, purses, books, and a new blue Toyota Prius. Shane is upset that Nancy traded the Range Rover for a hybrid vehicle, and inquires why she bought herself so many "presents." Shane inquires why he wasn't bought anything, Nancy responds that he doesn't deserve anything on account he "called Celia a drunk." Shane responds that he doesn't feel drug prohibition is right because he doesn't think people should get in trouble for drugs. Nancy gives Shane money to buy a new remote controlled car.
As Heylia begins to need an income, she considers dealing drugs again. Vaneeta explains to her that the only marijuana in demand at the moment is the sacred "MILF WEED". In search of the "MILF weed", she finds out through U-turn that Conrad has started a grow operation with Nancy, and that they are the only suppliers of the strain. Heylia, feeling that Conrad had betrayed her, pays the grow house a visit, and expresses her upset with Conrad. She argues that he "went behind her back" and stold one of her best clients to begin a competing business of his own. Conrad tries to apologize, and explains that he has offered to open the grow operation with her first, and that she turned down the offer because she was more interested in Joseph at the time. Heylia states that she deals, and that she doesn't grow. She warns Conrad that they are no longer friends, and that their relationship is nothing more than a business relationship now. After saying that one day "the big bad wolf will blow the [grow] house down," possibly alluding to a future episode. Conrad offers her a job, but Heylia declines, calling him a "little piggy." She then demands to buy 3 pounds of the "MILF weed", and leaves.
Dressed to impress, Celia stands under her surveillance camera and "DRUG FREE ZONE" sign for the unveiling. The media is in attendance as well as onlooking neighbors. Also in attendance are a group of dog-weilding protesters armed with water bottles, dog feces, and garbage which they throw at the sign. The protesters call Celia a "douche bag", and a "bitch." Celias responds by stating that she is "protecting the humans of Agrestic". The protesters demand the return of their "dog park". Celia turns back to the reporters, and explains that the protesters are "crazy dog freaks". A reporter asks whether Celia "has a drinking problem" effectively ending the unveiling.
At the Botwin's backyard pool, Silas and Andy muse over Nancy's business and prosperity. Andy bickers over his uninvolvement in the grow operation, and explains that "life sucks" with no girlfriend, no job, and eight toes. Silas then explains that he "would be great at it." Andy suggests that Nancy knows nothing about being a crime lord, and states that he knows business, and is an entrepreneur. The two agree that they should start their own drug dealing business, but that they lack the financing.
Inside the Botwin house, Conrad discusses what has transpired with Heylia. As they speak, Peter rings the door bell and asks Shane if Nancy is home. Shane explains that she is "doing laundry with a black man." Nancy comes to the door, and as peter walks to his truck with her, he explains that it is not a good idea to have Conrad at her house. He then brings up Heylia, and devoldges to Nancy that she will soon be arrested. Nancy protests, but Peter refuses to let Heylia go. He explains that his bosses want to see results, and that Heylia can lead him to the arrest of U-Turn, who is dealing more than just marijuana. Peter then says that he doesn't want to talk about it any more, and that this is his "fun time." Nancy Worries about what will happen.
[edit] Trivia
- B-52 and Voodoo Juice are prominently used as advanced nutrients.
- When Vernon states that he is a Scorpio, Nancy says that she is too.
- Nancy's strain of marijuana is named "MILF weed" after Snoop Dogg declares that Nancy is a MILF ("Mother I'd Love to Fuck").
- Snoop Dogg names his song abot the MILF weed
- The "Dog Lady" arrives at Celias doorstep with three dogs.
- The first surveillance camera will be located at the corner of Hillside and Harper drives. This intersection is believed to actually be located in San Jose, California.
- U-turn's real name is Luis. Luis likes to play the violin in his grand mother's house.
- During her shopping spree, Nancy buys a purse by Sarah's Bag, jewelry, perfume, a pair of shoes by designer Manolo Blahnik, and three books. The books are Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell and DRY and Running with Scissors (book) by Augusten Burroughs. The book Rejuvenile by the Weeds series creator Jenji Kohan's husband Christopher Noxon was also subjected to shameless product placement.
[edit] Guest Stars
- Dan Bucatinsky as Max
- Snoop Dogg as himself
- David Doty as Principal Dodge
- Allie Grant as Isabelle Hodes
- Indigo (actress) as Vaneeta
- Page Kennedy as U-turn
- Lily Knight as The Dog Lady
- Maulik Pancholy as Sanjay
- Eden Sher as Gretchen
- Avery Kidd Waddell as Vernon
- Andy Milder as Dean Hodes
- Martin Donovan as Peter (Special Guest Star)
[edit] Bash (Weeds episode)
[edit] Plot
Peter sits outside of Heylia's house with a partner, and over 10 other DEA agents. He calls the raid over his radio saying "let's do it." The agents accend on the residence and break down the front door yelling "get on the floor. Nobody fucking move. nobody move." Upon entry to the living room, seven gun-weilding agents are met with 6 men and six women in white burkas worshiping Allah in a ceremony led by Joseph. Peter asks "What's going on." Joseph calmly explains to Peter that the persons present in the house are worshipping in their Muslim faith, and that the raid by DEA agents is inappropriate. Peter asks for Heylia James, who immediately stands up as one of the parishioners in the worship ceremony. She is dressed in a white burka, and says nothing. Joseph explains that in his religion, women are not addressed directly and asks Peter to refrain from such a practice. Peter instructs his fellow agents to "search the place." One of the agents mocks Peter by saying "Nice bust Scottson."
After the raid, Peter appears at Nancy's house and confronts her asking whether she told Heylia of the raid in advance, or had Conrad do it. Peter is infuriated, and explains that in order to "keep the heat off of" nancy, he has to "put it on someone else." Nancy argues that she gave him the Armenians. Peter yells that he gave her the Armenians. The conversation comes to a stand still, and peter exclaims that something has to be done because their arrangement isn't working. He explains that one of them "has to quit her job." Nancy asks "Why me?" Peter suggests that "drug dealer is not a career." Nancy demands to know why she makes more money than him. Peter expresses his intent to marry Nancy "for real." They are going to have to get married officially if the agreement is to remain operable. He wants her to officially file the marriage certificate, tell her kids, and be her wife. Peter shows his disdain for what Nancy has done, and Nancy suggests that he leave her house. Peter asks her to "have a nice fucking day." As Peter marches back to his car and speeds off, Shane sees for the first time, that he is wearing a DEA uniform jacket.
Back as Heylia's, Joseph expresses that "the enemy of my enemy, is my friend" after Heylia thanks him for his help. He then tells Heylia that it is a shame she isn't fully converting, because she looks great in white. Heylia explains that there are too many rules, and that it wouldn't work out for her. She uses the word "ain't", and Joseph becomes upset explaining to her that it is a "slave word." Heylia states that she "ain't no slave" so she can say what she wants. After Joseph leaves, Vaneeta ridicules what an informative pamphlet left by Joseph states as his beliefs. Heylia is saddenned.
Back at the grow house, Conrad has a safe installed under the center "island" cabnets of the kitchen. Conrad tells Nancy that the safe is to hold only "ready product for sale," no personal items or cash. He then asks that Nancy keep the safe a secret, and suggests that only he and she are to know the combination. Nancy suggests that the combination be set to "6,2,6,2,9". Conrad asks what the significance of that number sequence is. Nancy responds that it spells "Nancy" if spelled on a telephone. Conrad expresses his disappointment in Nancy's selection of numbers, and tells her not to pick a birthday either.
At school, Gretchen approaches Shane, and asks if he likes her. Shane is tongue-tied, but stammers "yes." She asks if he wants her as his girlfriend. He again mutters "yes." She explains that she won't kiss him until she has her braces taken off, and that may be a year from now. Shane mutters "OK." So, Gretchen finalizes the deal with "See you around then." Later, at home, Shane exclaims to Andy and Nancy that he "totally kicks ass." Nancy asks what kicking ass entails. Shane explains that he has obtained his first girlfriend, but that's not all. The whole class voted, and he's going to be the class speaker for his graduation. Nancy and Andy congratulate Shane. After he's left, Nancy expresses fear that he'll be laughed at. Andy assures her that by speaking against Celia, and supporting his opinions on drugs, the Class has accepted him. Nancy informs Andy that Shane doesn't know what she does for a living. Andy responds "keep clinging to that raft."
Celia views Isabelle's new Huskeroos Commercial for the first time. After it has ended, Dean races in and asks how she liked it. Celia responds "At least they got her hair right. If this goes national, how much money are we talking? A new dishwasher? A new House?" Doug begins to explain that "It's isabelle's money. It's law in California clearly states..." Celia impatiently agrees and suggests that they throw a little of the money into a college fund for Isabelle, and then use the remainder of the money for themselves. Dean explains that all money will have to be taxed, and that Doug will have to be paid, and that his management fee will need to be paid. Celia, still reluctant has no other choice than to agree, but asks that Doug "loan" her a few thousand dollars. Doug asks "What for?" Celia explains that she needs a new wardrobe because after her "cancer purge," she's "in the public eye" and has "nothing to wear." Dean scolds Celia for attempting to take "Isabelle's hard earned money and blowing it on 'glad rags'" for her "star-turn on Agrestic [[access TV]. Celia argues that Dean was able to afford a motorcycle. Dean responds that he will "think about it," and then tells her "NO."
At Celia's city council meeting, Celia announces a vote on a motion by Agrestic Resident Walter Stringer to request a variance from zoning regulation 11.6 to build what he presents as a "front yard setback." Doug yells out "Try 11.2." He explains that the proper regulation Walter is trying to sneak around is regulation 11.2, and that the he's not building a family room, but a giant garage for his boat instead. "No family room has concrete floors and a door that is operated by remote." Doug continues. Doug then urges Celia to look over the plans. Walter yells at Doug exclaiming "you're not in charge here any more." Celia calls the council to order with her gavel, and then calls a vote. She is the only city council member who votes for the motion. The motion is denied. Walter yells "Fuck you, Wilson!" Doug yells back "Go play with your dingy." Celia asks that the lights be turned down. Doug explains that the lights are needed for the public access television cameras to record the meeting in decent quality. Celia becomes infuriated, and informs everyone that she doesn't need them to like her. Doug calls a vote: "All those who don't like Celia, say 'aye'." The crowd unanimously says "aye." Doug explains that the public has spoken. After the council meeting, Doug approaches Celia at her car. Celia attacks Doug, hitting him with her purse and fists. She begins to yell out "They hate me. They fucking hate me." She then laments over whether she should have run for the job at all. She expresses that all she wanted was a light at the intersection she had her wreck. Doug explains that he would have granted her motion to install the light, but that Celia was being a "know-it-all, bitch face" and that he "couldn't resist fucking with [her]." He then explains that she took from him the only aspect of his life that he loved. Then Doug suggests that Celia bring Vodka to the meetings to lighten the mood.
Back at her house, Nancy plays video games while discussing the possibility of holding festivities in honor of her late ex-husband Judah. Silas wishes to have a party of sorts, and Andy agrees. Nancy wishes to do something, but keep the festivities small. They agree to "do something, but not the full on, all day celebration." Silas protests, so Andy comes up with a compromise. "Let's just keep it to what Judah loved" Andy explains. He begins to list his dead brother's favorite things: Chicken parmesan, Willy Wonka, Pinata, and lap dance. Nancy asks Andy to buy all the necessary provisions for "Judah-Fest." Andy agrees to do it, but demands to be compensated for his time. Nancy Sighs "So that's how it's going to be." Andy then explains that he will soon no longer be indebted to Nancy. Nancy then explains to Andy that he can help out with "the big harvest in a couple of weeks," and that she will put him on the payroll. Andy accepts her offer, and goes to the store with Silas and Shane.
At Doug's office, Celia and Doug enjoy Vodka and lemon [martini|martinis]] while discussing who is doing what within the city of Agrestic. Doug tells Celia about people abusing public funds, extorting the city, and then mentions a vacation to Hawaii he took with his wife. First they discuss Elane Robert's brother who owns "Green Grass Landscaping". When Elane was elected into office, she awarded the city contract to maintain all parks and medians to him. Doug explains that the brother overcharges like Halliburton. They then discuss Tom Vander who owns all of the town's school buses. Doug tells Celia that Tom bought all of the buses from the town, and now rents them back for double what he paid. Doug then discusses his last vacation to Hawaii. After the conversation ends, Celia and Doug discuss whether to leave the office together, or leave separately. Celia asks "Should we go out together?" Doug replies "Huh?" Then they look into each others eyes, and passionately kiss one another. Doug tells Celia that he has condoms in his desk. Celia asks if he has herpes, warts, or anything along those lines. Doug answers "I'm clean. You?" Celia reveals that she has had her tubes tied, and exclaims "Fuck the condoms." Celia then lies down on Doug's desk, and they have sex. Half way through having sex, Doug asks whether the whole thing is a setup to gain control of Isabelle's money. Celia asks if it is Doug's way of getting back at Dean. They each disregard their concerns, and continue to fornicate.
During "Judah-Fest", Nancy, Shane, Andy, Silas, and Lupita watch Willy Wonka, and eat chicken parmesan. The doorbell rings, it's Peter. He wants to talk, and promises not to yell. Nancy refuses to let him in, and expresses that it is a bad time. Shane calls for Nancy. Nancy explains that she is having a birthday celebration, and then closes the door. Inside, she explains to Silas and Shane that she needs to help Peter out with something, and asks that they give her a minute to do so. Silas protests. Shane lets the cat out of thew bag to Silas and Andy that he is a DEA agent. Andy and Silas can't believe it. Shane explains that he saw Peter wearing a DEA uniform jacket when he was getting into his car, and that he "looked really mad." Shane then asks if Peter is Nancy's boyfriend. When Nancy goes back into the house, she finds Lupita alone, eating chicken parmasian. Nancy asks what happened. Lupita explains that Shane told Silas that Peter is in the DEA, and Silas told Shane that Peter is Nancy's boyfriend, and that Nancy doesn't care about Judah any more. Shane then smashed the cake, and Silas went outside to "Fuck up the stucco with his basketball." "Andy went upstairs to get 'nortched'" Lupita goes on "from stress?" Upset, Nancy goes outside to talk with Silas. Silas expresses his opinion of the danger Nancy is putting herself in by dating a DEA agent. Nancy assures Silas that it is a "business arrangement." Silas argues that Peter will inevitably dump Nancy, and then arrest her. Nancy explains that she and Peter are married. Nancy then explains that she still loves Judah. Silas only becomes more angry, and leaves. Angry herself, Nancy beats up the pinata with a baseball bat.
[edit] Trivia
- the safe installed in the grow house has 3 inch thick walls, a 5 inch thich door, and has "6 sided protection agains concentrated attacks with mechanical and electrical tools. The combination has 5 numbers which are set in a left, right, left, right, left sequence, each number has full turns in between, and after the correct combinations have been entered, the safe will "click", and then open.
- The Husckeroo commercial's dialogue consists of "Huskeroo, Huskeroo. You are beautiful in all the things you do. And your brand is Huskeroo. Huskeroo lets you be you, Huskeroo lets you be you!" At the end of the commercial Isabelle's says "Their just roomier!"
- Doug suggests that Celia bring Grey Goose vodka to the next city council meeting.
- When vacationing in Hawaii, Doug stays at the Four Seasons Hotel in Maui. His wife likes the $14 each Macadamia nut pancakes there.
- provisions for Judah's B-day include almond joy, Fruity Dyno-bites and Mountain Dew, a pinata, and chicken parmasian among other things.
- Almond Joys fill the Pinata selected to celebrate Judah's birthday.
[edit] Guest Stars
- Ron Canada as Joseph
- Allie Grant as Isabelle Hodes
- Indigo (actress) as Vaneeta
- Christopher Allen Nelson as Mattias
- Eden Sher as Gretchen
- Renee Victor as Lupita
- Andy Milder as Dean Hodes
- Martin Donovan as Peter (Special Guest Star)
[edit] Mile Deep and a Foot Wide (Weeds episode)
[edit] Plot
[edit] Trivia
- Silas wears a Rocky Horror Picture Show shirt.
April 28, 2005 drives a beaten ford blue van.
[edit] Guest stars
Pam Heylia Vaneeta Andy Sanjay Conrad Doug Nancy Yael Celia Hodes Silas Gretchen Dean Hodes Peter Isabelle Hodes Pam Maggie Lupita Megan Joseph Page Kennedy Shane Botwin